one more sleep

One more sleep, as they say.  Yup, there's one more sleep 'til Hallowe'en.

But on the other paw...

On the other paw, peeps might say one more sleep but I, Seville the Cat, should probably say it's more like uh...

Well...

Hmmm...

Seven.  Yup, there are seven more sleeps 'til Hallowe'en.

What can I say?  I'm a cat.  I take a lot of naps.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of sleepin'...

And speakin' of sleepin', last night, I had the most horrible dream.  It was a totally terrifyin' dream, to be sure.  A nightmare, I do believe.

Last night, I dreamt that my newly opened package of treats was empty.

MOUSES!

I'll tell you, my friends, I woke up in a sweat.  I ran to the kitchen to see if it was true.  To see if some peep had eaten my treats.

Thankfully, I found the package still full.  Whew!  That was a close one, for sure.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of treats...

And speakin' of treats, I noticed a newly opened box of those teeny tiny chocolate bars on the counter, yesterday.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

That's right, Peepers.  I was up on the counter.  I go up there, sometimes.  Actually, quite a lot.  Deal with it, my peep.  Deal.

MOUSES!

But my point is, it was a NEWLY opened box of Hallowe'en treats.  A new box to replace the previous one.

And it's not yet Hallowe'en.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of boxes...

And speakin' of boxes, those boxes Hallowe'en treats come in are TOTALLY USELESS for nappin'.  They're way too flimsy and weak.

Gosh darn it, a kitty tries to curl up inside of one and the sides all collapse before said kitty can even fall asleep, leavin' a big ol' mess of squished up and squashed Hallow'en treats.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of squished...

And speakin' of squished...

Hmmm...

Yeah, I've got nothin' for that.

MOUSES!

BUT WHAT I DO HAVE is a list of all my Hallowe'en adventures from Hallowe'ens past.  I know I posted 'em on Sunday, but if you missed that post OR IF YOU WANNA READ 'EM AGAIN, I'll post 'em once more.

'Cause remember, only seven more naps 'til it's...

Wait for it...

HALLOWE'EN!

2014:  The Broom Closet

2015:  A Hallowe'en Adventure

2015:  And Now, the Conclusion

2016:  The Hallowe'en Visitor

2017:  The Hallowe'en Ball

2018:  The Contest

2019:  The Haunting

talk about scary!

Talk about scary.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' if I'm talking 'bout scary stuff, I surely must be talking 'bout Hallowe'en.

And you know what?

YOU'RE RIGHT!

Kinda.

Sorta.

Whatever.

Okay, so Hallowe'en IS tomorrow and it would be wrong for me to not say something 'bout that.  I mean, Hallowe'en comes but once a year, right?  To not give it a mention at all would be a huge omission on my party.

So...

So, yeah, tomorrow is Hallowe'en and there will be ghosties and goblins runnin' about; not to mention all the kiddies out there dressed up as that incredibly dashing marmalade cat named Seville.

As if they could possibly dress up to look as handsome as me.

MOUSES!

But anyway, like I said, tomorrow is Hallowe'en and I'm bettin' all my pals out there are gonna want to re-read some of my Hallowe'en stories...  I mean, REAL LIFE ADVENTURES that happened on Hallowe'ens past, so...

So...

SO...

So just click on the titles of each of the followin' REAL LIFE ADVENTURES and you'll get to read all about 'em:  the broom closet; a Hallowe'en adventure; and now, the conclusion; the Hallowe'en visitor; the Hallowe'en ball; the contest; and finally, the haunting.

But in the meantime, let me tell you what's REALLY scary.  Really, really, REALLY scary.  Way scarier than anythin' Hallowe'en might bring.

No, not Peepers' hair.

On the other paw, Peepers' hair IS super scary but believe it or not - and I know this will be extremely difficult to fathom - there's somethin' even scarier than that.

No, really.  I kid you not!

So let me tell you all 'bout it.  Once again, the Internet was givin' me grief and Peepers had to set up a new modem Friday night only to find out...  I mean, ONLY TO BE REMINDED how much of an utter technological nincompoop she is.  She was so beside herself, she was practically pullin' out her own hair!

Hmmm....  Wonder if that's why Peepers' hair is as scary lookin' as it is.

MOUSES!

But anyway....

But anyway, two hours down the drain Friday night, AND ANOTHER FOUR OR FIVE HOURS yesterday mornin' and early afternoon, and...

And we finally have an Internet connection once more.

The woman is almost bald now, and that's not at all pleasant for me to see, but at least my Internet connection is up and runnin'.

What's that?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

You did too.  I saw you.  You did too pull out several of your hairs outta frustration.

Oh go stick a sock in it, woman.  Here's a couple Toonies.  Go buy yourself a nice wig.

You can even shop for it on-line.

Now.

MOUSES!

**********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

'twas the post before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas...

Nah, that's not right.  Christmas isn't 'til Saturday and today is just Wednesday.

MOUSES!

'Twas the POST before Christmas, and all through the house...

...not a creature was stirrin',

NOT EVEN A MOUSE!

The mousies were hung by the chimney with care...

...which is why they weren't stirrin',

And kept outta my hair.

I mean fur, of course.

MOUSES!

The peeps were nestled all snug in their beds while visions of sugar plums...

Nah, that's not right, either.  I don't think Peepers has ever dreamt of sugar plums.  She's more a dreamin' of peach cobbler kinda gal, for sure.

I don't even know if she knows what a sugar plum is.

MOUSES!

And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my...

Okay, that right there has gotta make this little poem come to an end.  If I were to see Peepers with a hankie wrapped 'round her head, I'd be thinkin' she'd gone 'round the bend!

And me wearin' a cap?  A CAP?  I don't wear no caps, 'cause I, Seville the Cat, am a cat, and cats don't wear no stupid caps.

Need I say it?

MOUSES!

So enough with my failed attempt at poetry.

MOUSES!

Here's the thing: Christmas is right 'round the corner and I've got my paws filled with wrappin' prezzies...

I mean, UNwrappin' prezzies.

I MEAN, playin' with the wrappin' paper when Peepers isn't about.

THING IS, I've got my paws busy doin' stuff I should or should not be doin'.

Yeah, that's about right.

BUT I KNOW peeps and cats...

Dogs, too, of course.

...out there are gonna wanna reread some of my Christmas adventures from years past, so...

So...

So I'm gonna paw over all the links for all those adventures right here in this here blog post, puttin' them all in one place, nice and convenient like for your purrsonal purrusal.

And if I don't see you between now and Christmas...

Here are those links I told you 'bout.

2014:  The Naughty List

2015:  The Mysterious Christmas Ornament

2016:  Reindeer Dust

2016:  Seville Saves Christmas

2017:  Santa's Mail Train

2017:  Mason to the Rescue

2017:  The Shelf Elf

2018:  'Twas the Night Before Christmas

2019:  The Santa Sack, part I

2019:  The Santa Sack, part II

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

top of the mornin'

Top of the mornin' to ya, my friends.  TOP OF THE MORNIN'!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

I'd give you a nice big bouquet of shamrocks or somethin' for the the occasion, but...

Well...

You know, the ground's still covered in snow.

MOUSES!

But the sun is shinin' so it looks like it's gonna be a really nice day.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, I was thinking 'bout spring bein' almost upon us and stuff like that, and I was wonderin'...

I was wonderin' if it might be time to pull the ol' pots of catnip out of the garage.

But then I remembered...

Ground's still covered in snow.

MOUSES!

Life sure is tough when you're a cat.

MOUSES!

But then I saw that ol' Peepers has some of those fancy shmancy lights for growin' stuff.

Well truth be told, they're not all that fancy.  She got 'em from Amazon.  Cheap.

MOUSES!

And they're certainly not shmancy...  YET.

What?  Shmancy doesn't mean smashed?

MOUSES!

But why the mouses should those lights be used for stupid ol' peeper...  I mean, PEPPER plants?  WHY?  I, Seville the Cat, am a cat - obviously - and I don't eat no peepers.  I mean, PEPPERS, you see.

Yeah, yeah...  Double negative.  I know.

MOUSES!

But my point is, as a cat, peppers are of no use to me.

Peepers, on the other paw, is good for openin' tins and stuff.

AND SINCE THOSE PEPPER PLANTS ARE OF NO USE, knocking 'em off the table would be an appropriate thing to do.  Some might even say, HELPFUL.

You know, to make room for pots of the nip.

So...

SO I'M THINKIN' that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

MOUSES!

PS.  Due to the this ol' pandemic thing and travel restrictions and stuff, I couldn't have a St. Patrick's Day adventure this year.  As a Canadian kitty, I couldn't go to Ireland.  And leprechauns and fairies couldn't come to me!  The Canadian Government even sent some kinda official to the front door tellin' me to hand over the keys to my teleportation device.  Can you believe it?  Yeah, neither could I.  EVERYONE KNOWS my flyin' fryin' pan teleportation device doesn't use keys.  MOUSES!  But what I can do is share the links to some of my adventures from years past.  Just click on the name of the adventure and enjoy.  PURRS 

2018 St. Patrick's Day adventure:  The Infestation

2016 St. Patrick's Day adventure:  Finders Keepers...  Maybe

2015 St. Patrick's Day adventure:  Catnip and Fairy Dust

2014 St. Patrick's Day adventure:  Seville's Four-leaved Clovers

AND FINALLY....

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

Christmas Eve, Eve

 

Oohhh boy - *rubs front paws together with glee* - only two more days 'til Christmas.  Today is Christmas Eve, Eve

MOUSES!

That's right, only two days left before the Big Guy in Red stops by my house with nip mice and treats.

I CAN'T WAIT!

Okay, so I actually can.  Wait, I mean.  It's not like I have a choice, anyway.  The calendar is what it is, and Christmas is still two days away.

MOUSES!

This Christmas is gonna be different from others, for sure.  Due to COVID travel restrictions, I haven't been able to use my teleportation device, so this year there are no Christmas adventures for me.  I did consider firin' up the ol' flyin' fryin' pan anyway and flyin' right past the border patrols and stuff, but...

BUT IT WOULD BE WRONG.

So I didn't.

MOUSES!

I also briefly considered doin' a little time-travellin' and travellin' back in time to a pre-pandemic world, but...

BUT THAT WOULD BE WRONG, TOO.

So I didn't.

Didn't wanna risk startin' a pandemic up in some other time.  Can you IMAGINE bein' responsible for somethin' like that?  My gosh, I'd end up on Santa's naughty list for eternity, never to see the Big Guy in Red, again.

MOUSES!

I did get to chat with some birdies this mornin'.  Yup, chatted with a couple blue jays emptying out the feeder Peepers filled earlier today.  They're not travellin' anywhere for Christmas, either.  Why would they?  They've got the peep wrapped 'round their little feet, fillin' up feeders for 'em and cleanin' up the messes they leave behind.

Oh, you should have seen 'em today.  TWO blue jays perched on either side of a feeder not meant for birds the size of blue jays, at all, treatin' it like a seesaw or somethin' and dumpin' all the bird seed out.

That, too, IS WRONG, but hey, I'M not arguin' with a couple squawky jays.

MOUSES!

So this year, besides those blue jays who are stickin' around, I'll be spendin' Christmas at home and all alone...

Well with the peeps, I suppose, but I won't be cavorting with Rudolf or Santa or any elves...

Which is a good thing, in a way, 'cause let me tell ya, ELVES CAN GET AWFULLY CRANKY AT THIS TIME OF YEAR.

It's the stress of havin' to make all those toys on a tight deadline and then havin' to wrap 'em all up.

MOUSES!

But even though I have no adventures on the go on account of my STAYIN' THE BLAZES HOME just like Premier McNeil says we should do, I can always share some Christmas adventures from years, past.  Right?  RIGHT.

MOUSES!

So here you are, my friends.  Here are some of my adventures from the many Christmases that have come before.  ENJOY!

The Santa Sack, part I, and The Santa Sack, part II, 2019

'Twas the Night Before Christmas, 2018

 The Shelf Elf, 2017

Santa's Mail Train and Mason to the Rescue, 2017

Reindeer Dust and Seville Saves Christmas, 2016

The Mysterious Ornament, 2015

The Naughty List, 2014

Home in Time for Christmas, 2013

MERRY CHRISTMAS, MY FRIENDS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

four weeks

My gosh this is gettin' old.

Four. Whole. Weeks.

MOUSES!

I'd spare you the details as to how long that is in seconds, but since I've had to LIVE THROUGH EVERY SINGLE ONE of those seconds...

That would be two million, four hundred and nineteen thousand, two hundred seconds.

Times nine...

Twenty-one million, seven hundred and seventy-two thousand, eight hundred seconds in CAT time.

Times eighty-one and a quarter...

One BILLION, seven hundred and sixty-nine million, forty thousand seconds, takin' into account how four weeks spent with peeps at home, all day, every day, feels like to a cat.

And let me tell you somethin', that's a whole lot of seconds.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, this marks one of very few years when I've not been called upon by the Easter Bunny to help save the day, in some way or another.

Can you believe it?

MOUSES!

Yup, due to Canada bein' pretty much shut down 'cept for essential services like catnip farmin' and stuff like that, the Easter Bunny did not need my services.  I think he scaled down his deliveries this year, and used Canada Post where he could.  He probably left baskets of eggs on doorsteps instead of goin' into peeps' homes and hiding 'em in their livin' rooms, and that would have saved a whole lot of time, I am sure.

So the bottom line was, he didn't need me.

MOUSES!

But that was okay, on account of my bein' pretty much confined to my own house and garden, anyway.

Although boy-oh-boy. could I ever have used a break from the peeps.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of peeps, Peep #1 got out the ol' sewin' machine on Friday night and by yesterday afternoon, with a WHOLE LOTTA HELP from her friends on-line, she managed to get the darned thing threaded and ready to use.

FYI, if you happen to see Peep #1 before the patches of hair she tore out of her head Friday night grow back in, you now know why.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, Peepers made some fabric pouches to fill with catnip for me!  That was kinda nice.  A cat can ALWAYS do with an extra biff bag or two.  Or three.  Maybe four.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of biff bags...

All my biff bags from Christmas are long gone.  Not 'cause of COVID-19 or anythin' like that, but uh...

Well...

Well SOME KITTY peed on 'em, I think.

NO, it wasn't me.

It was my double.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of doubles...

HEY PEEPERS!  Make sure you put a DOUBLE dollop of cream and TWO sprigs of nip on my special Easter din-dins today.  None of that stingy skimpin' nonsense you tried to pull at brekkies.

MOUSES!

And since we're all self-isolatin' and stayin' the blazes home today, why not spend some time reading 'bout some of my Easter adventures from years past?  Just click on the titles below and you'll be teleported over, lickety-split.

MOUSES!

2018 - THE WEASELS WHO STOLE EASTER
2017 - NIP EGGS
2016 - JAILBREAK
2014 - A REQUEST FOR ASSISTANCE and SAVIN' EASTER MORNING

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!