Sunday, 15 July 2018

the poopy ads

Let's talk, my friends.  Let's talk.

Let's talk about the litter box.

Actually, let's talk 'bout those litter box ADS I keep seein' on TV.

MOUSES!

Okay, so the ads aren't really 'bout litter boxes.  At least they're not about litter boxes for cats.  Oh no, the vast majority of litter box ads, these days, are for HUMAN litter boxes, for sure.

Now I'm not sayin' I've been seein' advertisements for giant plastic boxes into which peeps can fit, 'cause quite frankly, IF I WERE sayin' that, you might be thinkin' I'm hallucinatin', or lookin' for some long-lost marbles, or...   Or somethin' like that.  No, there have been no ads for giant plastic litter boxes at all.  Apparently, peeps think THEY'RE ABOVE doin' their business in a plastic box.

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No, the ads I've been seein' have been for toilet paper, air fresheners, potty fresheners, and the like.

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Now actually, I don't mind the toilet paper ads so much, although for the nine lives of me, I DON'T KNOW WHY they never advertise its main sellin' feature.  Why don't they talk about how some kinds of toilet paper are better for shreddin' than others?  EVERY CAT KNOWS how important shreddin' is when it comes to choosin' your favourite brand of toilet paper.  I mean, what ELSE does one use the stuff for?

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But all these air and potty fresheners?  Why would a cat need those?

Okay, so maybe my sister, Mason, might need a little freshenin', but...

But why would a cat like ME need those?

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But back to those ads.

Unfortunately, the toilet paper and freshener ads were just the beginnin'.

'Cause a few weeks ago...

A few weeks ago, a new ad started appearin'.

And THIS ad is the ad that really got my goat, so to speak.  And when I say, so to speak, I say that on account of my not actually havin' an actual goat.

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So anyway...

So anyway, not that long ago, The Poopy Ads started appearin'.

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Now you might be wonderin' exactly what a Poopy Ad, is.

And YOU MIGHT BE THINKIN', it has somethin' to do with uh...  You know...  Poop.

WRONG!

Well actually, you're kinda right.

But not in the way you're probably thinkin'.

Believe it or not, these Poopy Ads are advertisements sellin' cat food.

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

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Imagine, tryin' to sell a cat, food, by mentionin' the smell of our...

Poop.

Like I said before, MOUSES!

What's worse, these ads have a little accompanying ditty.

No, not dirty.

DITTY.

You know, a ditty.  A ditty, as in like a song.

And what's EVEN WORSE THAN THAT, is...

Well...

The song is really kinda catchy.

AND NOW...

AND NOW I'VE GONE AND GOT THAT STUPID POOPY AD SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD.

MOUSES!