Nerissa's Life

Build it and they will come.

I think that's what they said.

Well it was somethin' like that, for sure. Of course, they weren't talking 'bout Peepers. Nope, they weren't talking 'bout anythin' Peepers built, for sure.

'Less, of course, they were talking 'bout rescuers comin' to rescue whomever was trapped in whatever the peep built, 'CAUSE ANYTHIN' PEEPERS BUILDS is bound to be a disaster waitin' to happen, for sure.

Woman doesn't know a screw from a nail.

MOUSES!

Now, I wonder if anyone has ever said the followin': dig it and they will come.

Anyone know?

MOUSES!

Turns out, someone does know. I know. Yup, I know the answer, for sure. Of course, I know the answer to lots of questions and things. Pretty much practically EVERYTHIN'.

And if I don't know, I just make it up.

MOUSES!

And by the way, the answer is yes. Yes, someone has said, dig it and they will come. In fact, I said it earlier today. Said it yesterday, too. And do you know somethin' else, my friends? Do you?

IT'S TRUE! Yup, the sayin' is absolutely, one hundred and fifty-three percent true.

Give or take a percentage point, or two.

MOUSES!

So on account of my sayin' the sayin' and bein' correct about it and all, Peepers now has an eight foot long mini-greenhouse frame sittin' in her flower bed, two packages of aluminium foil plates - made from recycled aluminium, of course, 'cause Peepers loves the planet and everythin' - in the kitchen waitin' to be used, a big ol' pile of twigs and things next to the garden bed with the mini-greenhouse frame, and she is currently pickin' hot chilli peppers she plans to chop up later and scatter all over said bed. And then...

Pardon me? Pardon? Why is she doin' all that, you ask?

Well...

Well on account of my bein' right, of course.

Like I always am.

MOUSES!

Dig it, and they will come, I said. Yup, dig it and they will come. A peep digs a garden bed up, exposin' nice soil, gettin' the bed ready for some fall plantin', and...

AND THEY COME.

I'm tellin' ya, ol' Noah was never in it.

MOUSES!

Who are they, you ask?

Well...

Well allow me to elaborate, my friends. The eight foot long mini-greenhouse frame is to stop the deer from tramplin' the plants Peepers is plantin', like they did to Peepers' icelandic poppies last year. Then she's gonna hang those pie plates from the top of the frame to discourage 'em from reachin' in and eatin' the plants like they ate all but three of her roses this year. And once the plants are in the ground, she's gonna stick twigs and things in between all the rows before scatterin' those chopped up chilli peppers on the soil to discourage the raccoons from diggin' everythin' up, like they've been doin' ALL year, even now, before anythin' has been planted.

'CAUSE LIKE I SAID...

DIG IT AND THEY WILL COME.

MOUSES!

Excuse me? Didn't quite catch what you said.

No... No. Nope, none of these measures are on account of Saffy and me.

We've already had our fill of diggin' up Peepers' plantings, you see. Why, we've been diggin' up her stuff all summer long and are gettin' a tad bored with the whole thing.