Sunday, 20 January 2019

storm treats

BREAKING NEWS...

*sound of keyboard, rattling*

We interrupt our current programming for the following breaking news....

THERE'S A STORM A-COMIN', FOR SURE.

MOUSES!

On this BEAUTIFUL sunny Saturday, Nova Scotian peeps are linin' up in grocery stores as I speak, preparing for tomorrow's winter storm.  The storm will be a snow - ice - rain event, accompanied by strong winds.  In other words, IT'S GONNA BE ONE BIG OL' ICY MESS.  Expect floodin' due to heavy rain and frozen ground.  PREPARE NOW.  Make sure your cars are gassed up, and stock up on necessities.  Expect shortages of bottled water, milk, bread, and of course, storm chips.

What the mouses?

Who the mouses wrote this moused-up script?

Storm chips?  STORM chips?  What weird kinda chips are those?

MOUSES!

Excuse me for a moment, my listeners, while I go check with the head news writin' peep.

Okay, I'm back.

Apparently, it was not a typo.  Nope, not a typo at all.  APPARENTLY, here in Nova Scotia, storm chips really do exist.

Can you believe it?

MOUSES!

And yes, stores may run out.

APPARENTLY, storm chips are the kinda potato chips one buys to eat durin' a storm.  They're no different from non storm day chips.  The only difference is when one plans to eat 'em.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, as a cat, I don't eat stupid ol' chips.

MOUSES!

What I wanna know is, are peeps stockin' up on the IMPORTANT things in life, like...

Well...

Well like cat food, catnip, treats, kitty litter, additional catnip, and of course, more treats.

No self-respectin' kitty would be waitin' in line with a cart load of bread and storm chips.  No self-respectin' kitty would even dream of doin' such a thing.

And do you know why?

Well I'll TELL you why.

'Cause all self-respectin' kitties know what IS important, and what's not.  And self-respectin' kitties KNOW, no one needs to be eatin' chips durin' a storm.

No way.

No how.

Just...  NO.

Any self-respectin' kitty can tell you that what's needed the most during storms are cat food, catnip, treats, kitty litter, additional catnip, and of course, more treats.

Although not necessarily in that order.

MOUSES!

So there you have it, folks.  BE PREPARED for this weekend's winter storm.  Make sure you're stocked up with the most essential necessities like...  Treats.

STOCK UP ON STORM TREATS, NOW.

And you'd better hurry before stores run out.

MOUSES!