Sunday, 1 August 2021

seventy-two weeks


'Cause I know, that's how.


MOUSES!


Just 'cause you don't know, Peepers, doesn't mean I don't know.  Fact is, I DO know.  I know 'cause..  'Cause like I said, 'CAUSE I KNOW!


MOUSES!


BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO KNOW THEIR NAMES, THAT'S HOW.


Boy-oh-boy, some peeps.


MOUSES!


So Peepers and I were havin' an argument the other day.


I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', as Peepers and I have been pretty much cooped up here together for like three hundred and ninety-one MILLION, nine hundred and ten thousand, four hundred cat seconds now, we've probably had a whole lotta arguments, and you know somethin', my friends?


You would be right.


MOUSES!


But the other day, the peep and I were havin' a particular argument about bees.  Yup, you heard right: we were arguing about bees.


I informed the peep, you see, that I had been outside inspectin' my catnip crop - which is currently in full bloom, by the way - and there were no fewer than five big ol' bumblebees buzzin' around my various plants.


Well the peep, bein' a peep, said something 'bout how that was a whole lotta bees and how did I KNOW there were five or more different bees and that I wasn't countin' the same bees more than once, as I moved from plant to plant to plant.


Well firstly, as a cat, I don't like correction so as you can imagine, Peepers questioning my countin' skills did not go over very well.


And secondly, as a cat, I am ALWAYS correct so as you can imagine, I felt the need to explain a few things to the peep.  I then proceeded to inform her how I KNEW FOR A FACT that there were no fewer than five big ol' bumblebees on those catnip plants.


"BECAUSE I KNOW THOSE BEES' NAMES!" I patiently explained.


Patiently explained...  Yelled at the top of my lungs...  Whatever.


MOUSES!


"Look," I told her, "I saw Nicky and Tommy and Sam.  Then Billie and Avery made an appearance, too.  Now there might have been more, thus the reason I'm sayin' there were no FEWER than five, but I kinda got distracted and lost count at that point."


Got distracted...  Got nipped testin' my crop...  Whatever.


MOUSES!


And then...


And then, the peep proceeded to laugh about my claimin' that bees have names.


Can you believe it?


Of all the ignorant peeps.


MOUSES!


I'm tellin' ya, just 'cause peeps don't know bees' names doesn't mean said bees don't actually have names.


Which I then explained to the peep.


And do you know what she did, then?  Do you?  DO you?


She laughed at me.  LAUGHED!


Again.


MOUSES!


And I would have taken offence at this second bout of laughter of hers, and given her a real piece of my mind, but truth be told...


Truth be told...


Well...


I was too nipped.


Still am, as a matter of fact.


*burp!*


Yup, still am.


It's not my fault.  I had a lotta catnip plants to inspect.


Inspect...  Sample...  Whatever.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.