Sunday, 16 June 2019

and I'm topless

Publishing day, and I'm topless.

*sighs*

WHA ???

Oh yeah.  Whew!  Scratch that.

Publishing day, and I'm TOPIC-less.

Better.

Darned auto correct.

MOUSES!

Not that it would matter if I were topless.  You know, on account of my bein' a mancat and all, and as a cat, I'S ALL COVERED IN FUR.

MOUSES!

But still...

But still, it doesn't solve my problem.  The correctin' of the auto correct, I mean.  Nope, even with that correction, I'm still left with the same dilemma.

Publishing day, and I'm topic-less.

MOUSES!

The thing is, the peep has been very busy helpin' me edit parts of my book, and as a result...

Well as a result, she hasn't been doin' anythin' embarrassing about which I can write.

Well...

Well nothin' TOO embarrassing, I should say.  There was that...

Nah, that wasn't all that interestin'.  Not worth writin' about at all.

Oh, but then she...

Nah.  BORING!  Yup, boring with a capital B, not to mention an O, an R and ING.

MOUSES!

Oh, oh, oh!  I know!  Oh yeah, I've just now remembered THE MOST HUMILIATIN' story, EVER.  Okay, sit back, my friends, and take a load off your paws.  Let me tell you 'bout how...

WAIT A MINUTE.  Scratch that.  That embarrassing story was about me.

MOUSES!

Hmmm...

So uh...

So how 'bout those Raptors, huh?  Gotta paw it to them, for sure.

WE THE NORTH.  WE THE NORTH.  WE THE NORTH.

WOOT WOOT!!!

Yup, those Raptors do NOTHIN' embarrassing, at all.  Good thing I'm not countin' on them to provide me with fodder for my blog.  If I were, I'd have no humiliating tales to tell, for sure.

But back to the bit 'bout my bein' topic-less for today's blog.  Like I said earlier, the peep has been SO busy helpin' me with my book that...

Well...

I know!  I should share a second except from my book.  Yeah, that's exactly what I'll do.  ENJOY.  Purrs.


 ***********************************    

I stared at Peter and Jeffry in disbelief.  Neither one of them was volunteering any information about their being top secret spies, to the two RCMP officers sitting in our living room.

Of course, maybe that was part of the whole top secret thing.  I mean, if a top secret spy goes around telling everyone he or she is a top secret spy, are they really still a top secret spy, or just an ordinary kinda spy, and not a secret spy at all?  Keeping quiet about being a top secret spy might very well be part of the job description.

But still…

But still, identifying oneself as a CSISS agent to the RCMP wasn’t like taking out a full-page ad in the local paper.

Or was it?


Nah, law enforcement agencies were supposed to work together these days.  Work paw in paw, so to speak.  Share Intel and all that stuff, and…

“So neither one of you heard any kind of commotion, or saw any suspicious activity, in the woods out back?” one RCMP officer asked.

Peter shook his had.  “Nothing at all.  Of course we’ve only been here for a few days.  When did you say those two men were killed?”

“I didn’t.”  The RCMP officer narrowed his eyes.  “And the two of you are…  Visiting?”

“Cat sitting,” Jeffry answered, smugly, as he pointed in my direction.

“Hey!  It’s not like I need a babysitter or anything.”  I puffed out my chest to show everyone what a big, strong mancat I am.  I glanced over at Rushy.  All he had to do was take a deep breath, I begrudgingly realized, and the chest furs in that fluffy mane of his puffed out naturally.  I, on the other paw, go to puff out my chest and I look like I’m about to start wheezing.  MOUSES!

“And the home owner is…”  The RCMP officer was obviously fishing for information.

“Away.” stated Jeffry.

And no fish supper for you, Mr. Officer Sir, I thought to myself.  Nope, you’re gonna have to keep on fishing if you‘re planning on eating tonight.

The two police officers bored into Peter and Jeffry with their eyes, but Peter and Jeffry remained calm.  As calm as a couple of clammy cold fish, for sure.

Fish…  Hmmm…  I made a mental note to have Jeffry prepare fish for us for supper.  Either whitefish or salmon would do.

“Well if we’re done here,” and Peter stood up, “I’ll show you to the door.”

I tugged on Peter’s pant leg, and he attempted to brush me away with his foot.  I tugged harder and one of my claws caught hold of a thread.  Clearly, the man’s pants were cut from cheap cloth, or they wouldn’t give way so easily.  “Sorry ’bout that,” I shrugged, “but…”

Peter glared at me.  I glared right back, then attempted to flick away the wool thread from his pants, now caught on my paw.

“Stop tearing at my clothes,” Peter growled under his breath.

“You stop not paying attention to me,” I hissed back, “and I won‘t have to tear at your clothes.  Don’t you,” and I motioned for Peter to bend down so that I could quietly whisper what I had to say in his ear.  “Don’t you think you should tell them about…  You know…  Our missing peep?”

Peter straightened up.  “Cats,” he laughed.  “They do come up with the strangest things.”

I let out a low growl, half directed toward Peter and his ridiculous comment, and half because, try as I might, I could not get that stupid cheap thread from his pant leg out from between my claws.

“Here, let me help you with that,” and one of the RCMP officers picked me up.

I scowled at him.  Who the mouses did he think he was, picking me up like that?  Of all the nerve.  The least he could do was ask for permission, first.  Some peeps think they can do whatever they want to a cat, and…

“Oh!  You’ve managed to get that nasty thread out from between my claws.  Well…  Well thank you, then.  But next time, if there is a next time, ask first before picking me up.  Okay?”

The officer gave me a quick chin scritch before setting me back down on the floor.  “Nice cat,” he murmured.  I wasn’t sure if he was speaking directly to me, in which case he sounded a tad condescending, or to Peter, telling him I was nice.  Either way, getting the chin scritch made it worth my while, I decided, so I swallowed the low growl I could feel bubbling to the surface at the back of my throat.  MOUSES!

***********************************


Oohhh...  And if you missed the first excerpt from my upcoming book, you can find it right here:  FIRST EXCERPT FROM MY BOOK.  It's at the end of the post.  purrs