catnip and fairy dust

Nissy sauntered into the kitchen to find his brother up on the table.  With a mug of nip beer in one paw, Seville was studying various equations he had written down on his board. Scattered about the room were various books, pencils, a calculator and a couple of St. Patrick's Day inspired hats.

"Whatcha up to, bro?" asked Nissy.  "You workin' on some teleportation physics equations or somethin'?

"Actually, no," answered Seville, sounding somewhat distracted.  "These are chemical equations, Niss."

"Really?"  Nerissa looked at Seville's board and then glanced over at the kitchen counter.  Seville had obviously been using several of the peep's mixing bowls along with a wooden spoon and a couple of spatulas.  Nissy hopped up onto the counter to inspect them and found bits of sticky goop in the bowls and on the counter.  "Looks more like cookin' to me, Sivvers," he said.

"Cooking, chemistry...  All one in the same, Niss."

"Well whether you're cookin' or performin' chemistry experiments, you had best wash this stuff up.  Ol' Peepers is not gonna be pleased when she finds this mess you've made and that's a fact, for sure. She's gonna freak."

 Nissy lifted a paw and sniffed at the green, sticky goop he had accidentally stepped in.  "Hmmm...  Seville, this here goop smells like milk.  Whatcha makin'?"

"Breath mints," answered Seville.  "Feline catnip-flavoured breath mints."

"Interestin'..."  and Nissy sniffed the goop again.  "Nip breath mints for cats.  Seville, you're a genius!  A genius in disguise but a genius nonetheless.  Why didn't I think of this?  And what exactly made you think of inventing 'em?"

"No offence Niss but lately you've had a bad case of tuna breath.  I heard Peep #1 mention it the other day."

"There's NOTHIN' wrong with havin' a little tuna on your breath," exclaimed Nerissa with indignation.  "Nothin' wrong with that at all.  Happens after you eat the tuna."

"Yeah, well it smells fishy to me," exclaimed Seville.

"That's 'cause tuna is fish!  Mouses, Sivvers.  If you're gonna start cookin' and whatnot, you've gotta know your ingredients.  Besides, you like tuna, too."

"But I also like nip," began Seville, "and I'm thinkin' that a catnip-flavoured breath mint is the perfect thing to follow a plate of tuna.  Havin' some issues with the equations though."

"Equations or recipes?" asked Nerissa.

"Same diff, Niss.  Bottom line is, my mints aren't nippy enough.  Do you think you could help me out?"

Nerissa jumped down from the counter.  Heading over to the table where Seville was working on his equations, he stopped dead in his tracks.  There on the floor sat two large clay pots filled with shamrocks.  "Uh Seville, are these what you're using to make your mints?"  Nissy pawed at something flitting about his ear.  It was tickling his whiskers.  Growing annoyed, he pawed at it again.  "And what's this fairy doin' over here?"

"Oh her?  That's Aoife.  She came with the plants."

Nissy rolled his eyes. "Of course she did. Whatever was I thinkin'?  Why else would a little green fairy appear in our kitchen? Silly me..."

"Enough with the chatter, Niss.  I need some help over here.  How can I get more nip in my breath mints?"

"Well for starters," and Niss picked one of the shamrocks from a pot. "These here plants aren't nip.  They're clovers. MOUSES!"

Seville stared at his brother.  "Do you think I don't know that?"  He hopped down onto the floor and padded over to Nerissa and the gigantic clover plants.  "You ever try to order nip plants in March? No one sells them.  Everyone wants to sell you clovers.  Shamrocks this and shamrocks that. Everyone is trying to cash in on the whole St. Patrick's Day experience and there's nothing to be found but clovers!  So I figured I'd order up some gigantic ones and just make do."

Nerissa threw his front paws up in the air.  "But..  Seville...  But..."  He was at a loss for words.

"I know what you're thinking, Niss.  You're thinking, clovers aren't nip."

Nerissa continued to stare at his brother, his eyes growing wider.

"Well you might have a point there but hear me out.  Clovers are green.  Catnip is green.  Clovers are a popular food with cows and cows produce milk and milk contains cream and cats like cream. Plus, with every order of two plants or more, they were throwin' in a free fairy.  You did meet Aoife, right?  She has magical fairy dust," Seville added in a whisper.  "I think that's why these plants have grown so large."

"Well maybe she can use some of that magic fairy dust to turn these shamrock plants into nip!" Nerissa cried.  "For mousin' out loud, Sivvers, these here plants are your whole problem.  You can't make nip mints without the nip.  You need nip!"

Nerissa turned to leave in disgust.  "And I'm takin' back that comment I made about your bein' a genius, Seville," he added.  "Any genius would know that clovers aren't nippy.  MOUSES!"

"And what if I were to tell you that I have some essential nip oil?" Seville cried out.  "Some nip oil to add to my mints."

Nissy swung around.  "Now you're talkin', Sivvers.  That's a totally different story.  You have nip oil?"

"Uh, no," and Seville pawed at a recipe book sitting on the floor.  "I said what if I were to tell you.." his voice trailing off.

Nerissa rolled his eyes and let out a big sigh.  "Okay, Seville.  You are my brother and I do love you so I'll see if we can figure somethin' out.  Maybe you can use the shamrocks to make the base of your mints and then if we can get our paws on some nip oil..."

"I knew you could figure it out, Niss!  I knew that if anyone could, it would be you.  So I have my clover base.  Tastes kinda milky like you noticed.  That's due to the whole clover-cow-cream connection.  Now to add some nippiness to the milky goodness that is the sticky goop."

"Speakin' of that, Sivvers, we need to work on the texture of your mints, too.  I don't think breath mints are supposed to be sticky or goopy.  They're not supposed to stick to your paws when you eat 'em."

"You might have a point there, Niss.  But first things first.  Put on your thinking cap," and Seville handed his brother a leprechaun hat to wear, "and let's get started on making some nip oil.  Do you think we need nip to make that?"

"Yes, Seville, I think we do but perhaps Aoife can help us out with that. You said the fairy was magic? Oh Aoife...  Come on over here.  Let's see if some of that magic fairy dust of yours can turn some vegetable oil into the essence of nip.  Now how do we do this?  Do I need to make a wish?"

And with that, the boys started working on their next great invention, Catnip-Flavoured Breath Mints for cats.

        HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO ALL!!