Wednesday, 14 March 2018

the infestation

"Whatcha doin' there, Mason?" Seville whispered in his sister's ear.  "Spyin' on the peeps?"

"SHHH!" Mason slumped her shoulders, disappointedly.  "Darn it, Seville.  You made me miss what Peep #1 said right before she hung up the phone."

"Sorry 'bout that, Sis.  Was it an important call?"

"I'll say.  The peep has some sort of infestation," and Mason spat the last word out with disgust.

Seville's eyes grew wide.  "Was she talkin' to the doctor?  Is it serious?  IS IT CONTAGIOUS?  IS IT CONTAGIOUS TO CATS?  MOUSES!"

Shaking her head, Mason replied, "I don't think so.  She was talking to some kind of plant doctor, whatever that is.  Some of the plants in the sunroom are infested with...  Uh...  I think she said it was greenflies.  No, she said, aphids."

"Pshaw!  Nothin' for us to worry 'bout then.  On the other paw...  Mason, why don't we go sort out those aphids for the peep?  I bet we can get rid of 'em, lickity-split.  MOUSES!"

Mason shrugged.  "I suppose we can try.  Let's go check it out."

Seville opened the sunroom door, only to back away quickly before slamming it shut again.  "MOUSES!" he cried.  "It's not just one or two plants with aphids.  THE WHOLE SUNROOM is FILLED with green things flying around everywhere.  It's the infestation of all infestations.  An infestation of mammoth proportions.  IT'S HUGE!  It's...  It's....  IT'S...  IT'S A NIGHTMARE IN THERE.  No wonder the peep was callin' a plant doctor for help.  I think she should be callin' in the army, myself.  We're gonna need exterminators.  Or ghost busters.  Or BOTH!  MOUSES!"

"It's THAT bad?" Mason queried, as a green object hit the glass pane of the sunroom door, causing her to jump backwards with fright.

"Yup.  That bad and more.  How the mouses did aphids multiply like that?"

"And why are they so big?"  Mason stared in disbelief as another green object hit the door.  "They must be the size of small birds!"

"At least.  Never seen anythin' like it," Seville muttered.  "MOUSES!"

"Mouses is right.  They could be the size of mice.  They're definitely bigger than chickadees."  Mason peered through the sunroom door, staring at the objects flitting about the room.  "Do you think they're some kind of aphid mutation?" she finally asked.

Seville sat back on his haunches.  "If that's the case, Peep #1 isn't gonna be able to deal with 'em all by herself, and I'm not sure a mere plant doctor will be able to help her, either.  Generally speakin', peeps aren't used to dealin' with mutations and stuff.  Hmmm...  I wonder if they could be radioactive," he pondered.

"Well Peep #1 is DEFINITELY not used to dealing with that."

Seville nodded, "You got that right, Sis.  This is most definitely a job for us cats.  Now how exactly does one deal with a radioactive infestation of mutated aphids?  You think we should...?"

"Seville..." Mason interrupted, as ANOTHER green object hit the glass door.  She watched it as it flew away, and across the room.  "I don't think those things in there are aphids.  I don't think they're insects, at all.  They look more like..."

"Like FAIRIES," Seville said with dread.  "MOUSES!"  He turned to his sister and grabbed her by the shoulders.  "Do you know what this means, Mason?  It means, the peep has a FAIRY infestation in the sunroom!  How the HECK does that even happen?"

Mason shook herself free from Seville's grasp.  Gritting her teeth, she asked, "Are you sure you didn't have anything to do with this, Seville?"

"Of course not.  How the mouses...  Hmmm...  On the other paw...."  and Seville scratched behind an ear.  "Now that I come to think of it..."

"What did you do?" asked his sister.

"Well...  Nah, that can't be it."  Seville shook his head.  "Although..."

"Spit it out, Sivvers.  What. Did. You. Do."

"Well..."

"What did you do THIS time, I should be asking," persisted Mason.

"Well I might have...  Nah, I REALLY don't think that could have uh...  Ummm...  Okay, so this is what happened," and Seville clapped his front paws together.   "Remember that fairy garden the peep was settin' up in the sunroom?"

"Yeah..."

"Well in that fairy garden,  there was this little door.  It was a pretty small door.  It was fairy sized, you know?  And it was stuck."

"Stuck?" asked Mason.  "Stuck on what?"

"Oh, it wasn't stuck on anythin', Sis.  It was stuck shut.  And as a cat, I've never met a door I didn't want to open.  You know, to see what's on the other side, and that sort of thing.  We cats always wanna be on the other side of any closed door, right?"

"Go on," Mason urged.

"Well...  Well I was absolutely sure I could get that little fairy door open.  It had a keyhole and everythin'.  All I needed, was the key."

"And did it have a key?" Mason asked.

"No.  Unfortunately, there was no key.  But I wasn't gonna let the lack of a key get the best of me!  So I uh...  Well... Well I kinda jimmied the lock.  And do you know what?  That little fairy door opened right up!"

"To where?" Mason looked confused.  "I mean, what was on the other side?"

"Now that was where things got kinda weird," and Seville made himself more comfortable before continuing his explanation.  "There was like this empty hole on the other side of the door.  It was a really long, very dark, tunnel kind of thing, leading to...  To I don't know where.  It was just empty, black space."

"That IS weird," agreed Mason.  "So what did you do then?  Close the door shut again?"

"Uh....  That would be a negative, Sis.  I think that's about the time I heard Peep #1 openin' a bag of treats, so - OF COURSE - I ran into the kitchen to get some.  And to tell you the truth, I don't really know what happened to the little fairy door after that.  I think I just left it there."

Mason scowled at her brother.  "Mouses Seville, you've gone and opened some sort of wormhole, or transdimensional vortex, or..  Or...  Or I don't know what, leading from I don't know where, right into our sunroom.  This is not a good thing, Sivvers."

Just then, another fairy hit the sunroom door with a loud thud.

"And the fairies appear to a wee bit upset, too," Mason said, adding an Irish lilt to her voice.

"You'd really think they'd learn to stop hittin' the door like that," murmured Seville as another fairy slammed into it.  "That's gotta hurt.  MOUSES!"

"Seville," began Mason, "can you see the fairy garden from this side of the sunroom door?  Can you see if the fairy door is still open?

Seville peered through the glass.  "Yup, it's over there in the far corner.  The door appears to be shut, but I really don't remember closin' it."

"HEY!  CAT!" yelled a fairy, who was fluttering mid-air in the sunroom.  "You're the cat I saw yesterday, when I came to visit the garden on this side of the door."

"I am?"  Seville looked dumbfounded.  "You saw me, yesterday?  You saw ME?"

"Yes.  Moments after I flew into the garden, I looked over and saw you, high-tailing it out of this...  This prison, where my sisters and I have been trapped."

Seville thought for a moment.  "So you're sayin', right after I opened that there little door," and he pointed over to the fairy garden, "you flew through it, and into our sunroom?  And all those other fairies?  Did they just follow you through the same door?"

"Yes," answered the fairy.  "We like to travel in packs.  Do you have a problem with that?"

Ignoring the fairy's question, Mason asked, "And then you were all trapped in our sunroom?"

"If by sunroom, you mean this PRISON, then yes," the fairy answered.

"Well that's dumb," said Seville.  "If you thought you were bein' imprisoned in our sunroom, why didn't you just turn around, and fly back through the door again?"

The fairy's expression grew impatient.  "Because, STUPID, by the time we realised we had been imprisoned, the door has closed shut again.  There was another cat in here.  Orange like you, but with longer fur.  One of my sisters startled him, and as turned to flee, his tail hit the garden door, swinging it shut."

Mason and Seville looked at one another and in unison, stated, "Andy."

"Well?" said the fairy.  "Are you going to set us free?  Or are you planning on holding us here indefinitely.  Or are you holding us hostage for ransom of some kind...  Are you demanding a ransom of leprechaun gold before you'll return us to Ireland?"

"Oh for mousin' out loud.  Hold onto your horses there," Seville told the fairy, tersely.  "No one's holdin' you hostage or damandin' ransom or anythin' like that.  Although...  About how much gold would we be talkin' about, exactly?"

Mason gave Seville a hard smacky-paw to the back of his head.

"Ouch!"  Seville scowled at his sister.   "Fine.  I guess it would be best if we were to just let them go."

"Don't think you're letting them free in our house," Mason warned.

Seville sighed.  "Don't be silly, Sis.  "I jimmied that lock open before, I can jimmy it open again.  Once the door is open, the fairies will be free to fly back through the door, and return to Ireland."

"Sounds like a reasonable plan," agreed Mason.  "Although you are going to have to enter the fairy infested sunroom to do it."

"Don't I know it.  Once I enter the sunroom, Sis, be sure to slam the door shut.  We don't want any of those fairies gettin' loose out here."  Seville took a deep breath, swung open the door, and dashed inside the sunroom, calling out behind him, "Wish me luck!"

"Good luck," Mason whispered under her breath.  She closed the door behind her brother, and watched Seville as he made his way across the room, swatting flying fairies out of his way, as if they were a swarm of green and white mosquitoes.

Slowly but surely, Seville fiddled with the fairy door's lock until he managed to get it open.  "Whew," he sighed with relief.  "Okay you fairies!" he called out.  "You all need to line up, single file, now.  One at a time, fly through the door and be on your way home," he instructed.  " AND NO RACIN'!  I don't need anyone with broken wings, on my paws," he muttered.

Once the last fairy had disappeared through the door, Seville shut it tightly.  Not wanting to take any chances of another fairy infestation, he broke off the sheath of his longest claw, and jammed it into the lock.  "There, that should do it.  No way, no how, is this door gettin' opened again.  One fairy infestation is enough for this cat's nine lifetimes, for sure.  MOUSES!"

Returning to the sunroom door, Seville pounded on it.  "You can let me out of here now, Mason!" he cried.

"Are you sure those fairies are all gone?"

Seville looked about.  "Yup, every single one of 'em.  They're probably back in Ireland by now."

Mason opened the door for Seville.  "That's good.  They'll be back in time for St. Patrick's Day, too.  All's well that ends well, right?" and she patted her brother on his back.  "You did good work today, Seville"

"I'm just glad it's all over," Seville sighed.  "MOUSES!"


*******************************************************

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

purrs


66 comments:

  1. Fairy infestation ... Ahahahaaa....Loved it! clever. Thanks for the good chuckle. Needed that after writing my sad post. Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Excellent! It's always best to make nice with fairies, kitties!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How true. Everyone thinks fairies are all sweet and sugary but let me tell you somethin'... They're not. They can really be quite scary. MOUSES!

      Delete
  3. That's very nice of you to help your peep with the infestation...you know, since you caused it in the first place! It does make me wonder who holds the key to the door to begin with, though!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hey, ALL I DID was open a little door. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. Our mom loves fairies! I bet she wouldn't mind if we had a fairy infestation. Aphids, however, would send her running down the street! Happy St. Patty's Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You wanna borrow our fairy door? Open it up and your mom'll have all the fairies she wants. purr

      Delete
  5. guyz....what an awesum fun post !!!

    N whoa...fora breef minit if we dinna thinkz ya had giant grass hopperz in de houz....they made a moovee bout that ya noe and itza troo storee ☺☺

    it waz called... Beginning of the End......

    way awesum...well....ewe noe.....hay...heerz two a soooper happee st patricks day ♣♣♣♣♣♥♥♥☺☺

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beginnin' of the End... That doesn't sound too good. MOUSES!

      Delete
  6. I never heard of such a thing but I had best be on the lookout here! Happy St. Patrick's Day to you too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yup, just beware of openin' strange little doors. MOUSES!

      Delete
  7. A fairy infestation sounds like a fun time for kitties! This is adorable and so creative, thanks for smile.....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I should've taken the time to swat a few. Yeah, that would have been fun. MOUSES!

      Delete
  8. It's a good thing that you helped your Peeps. I'm glad I don't have any fairy gardens around my house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You sure? One NEVER REALLY KNOWS what's goin' on at the neighbours. MOUSES!

      Delete
  9. We wouldn’t mind seeing some fairies around here. They might be fun to play with.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, they are. A little testy, sometimes, but... Oohhh... They're pretty TASTY, too! purrs

      Delete
  10. HA HA HA Am laughing here so much, thanks for the laugh it was what I needed today. Love the story

    ReplyDelete
  11. I'd kind of like a fairy in the house! But just one.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, one is okay. USUALLY. But an infestation? MOUSES!

      Delete
  12. What a darling story! I personally love fairies and am glad they are able to get home for St. Patty's day. Thank you for always entertaining me! I can just see your face as you say MOUSES!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I LOVE sayin' MOUSES! Actually, I say it quite a lot. PURRS.

      Delete
  13. I bet I'd like to chase fairies!

    ReplyDelete
  14. Very cute. My black cat Sally might have eaten those fairies - she's becoming quite the hunter.

    ReplyDelete
  15. What an adventure! Maybe it's best to avoid opening strange doors for a while.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Maybe.. But I AM a cat and you KNOW how we cats feel 'bout doors. MOUSES!

      Delete
  16. This made us laugh so much, what a riot you two are! "And as a cat, I've never met a door I didn't want to open." And then of course you let the fairies in!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Of course. NEXT time, I'm gonna find a door that'll let nip farmers in. purrs

      Delete
  17. Hmmm, I kinda think them fairies were as much to blame for this as Andy, and that they could have granted you at least ONE wish.... but what would that wish be? maybe turn peep #1 fingers into magic nip growing fingers?
    Toodle pips and purrs
    Erin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What? WHAT? Fairies are supposed to grant wishes? MOUSES! Those darned moused-up good-for-nothin' fairies said NOTHIN' about wishes at all. MOUSES!

      Delete
  18. Fairies?!? Where??? That sounds like so much fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They're back in Ireland now. You need directions? It's a quick teleport over. purrs

      Delete
  19. Oh what a grand tale for St. Patrick's Day! A fairy infestation would be great - fairies are a whole lot NICER than aphids for sure!!! Love this story.....just love it!

    Hugs, Teddy and Mom too

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah... Aphids are NOT good. I've got my nip seed planted and when it grows, if I see an aphid on any one of those plants... MOUSES!

      Delete
  20. Wow! Good job there, Seville. I had no ideas that fairies swarmed or could be so rude! Jeez! Didn't even offer you some corned beef. This was a wonderpurr story! Apaws! Apaws!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They are rude. Peeps don't realize just how rude a fairy can be. MOUSES!

      Delete
  21. Wow that was an amazing Fairy Tail you surely told there. Such fun.😸🐾🐾🐾

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fairy tail... Fairy TAIL.. As opposed to Fairytale. Which this wasn't on account of it ALL BEIN' ABSOLUTELY TRUE. MOUSES!

      Delete
  22. Fabulous! We wouldn't mind having a fairy or two around here. Or maybe a brownie.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How 'bout a chocolate covered fairy brownie? purrs

      Delete
  23. Uh oh! Our Mom has been talking about creating a similar spot in our garden but it'll be okay because it will be outside, right? Right? Please say right!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... It all depends... Your mom plannin' on installin' a fairy door? It's the doors you have to watch out for. MOUSES!

      Delete
  24. We love your posts in the St Patrick's event on Facebook! "The Grouchy LadyBug" was my favorite book growing up ... every time I hear "aphid," I can't help thinking back!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You're enjoyin' the event? EXCELLENT. The party is continuing 'til tomorrow and cats and peeps are stoppin' in, whenever they have some free time. I'm LOVIN' it, for sure. I might - MIGHT - try havin' a party for Easter, too. Maybe an egg hunt or somethin' like that? purrs

      Delete
  25. Can you come and work on our weird moth infestation. Kilo the Pug is useless as he only gets one very occasionally - actually never. Maybe they are fairies too. Happy St Patrick's Day!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What you need... What you need is a way to send 'em back home. You know where those moths came from in the first place? purrs

      Delete
  26. That was worse than opening Pandora's box. I think you should have held them for a ransom of nip :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pandora... Is she some kinda fairy, too? And she comes with a box, you say? Inquirin' minds wanna know. purrs

      Delete
  27. Now that was such a good story. Didn't know we needed a door for the fairies. But glad they got let out. You all have a wonderful day.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Personally, I'm glad they got let back IN. MOUSES!

      Delete
  28. Have a wonderful St. Patrick's Day and a great weekend too!

    Noodle and crew

    ReplyDelete
  29. Ohhh fairies can be quite the paw-full. And you're very right, they aren't sweet either. Very glad you sent them home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, although if you sprinkle 'em with sugar before servin'... Ummm.. I had best keep that bit to myself. MOUSES!

      Delete
  30. gosh what an adventure Sivvers,still you got the job done...time for some nip I think,xx Speedy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh Speedy, you DO make me laugh. It's ALWAYS time for havin' some nip. Always! purrs

      Delete
  31. We love to be surrounded by fairies, Seville, but we still haven't found the door where they come through...MOL :D Pawkisses for a Happy St. Patrick's Day :) <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... Well Peep #1 brought that little fairy door home. I don't know where she got it. But maybe if you asked your Granny, she might be able to find one in the shops? purrs

      Delete
  32. I always thought fairies were enchanting little creatures, but those certainly sounded bolshie! Good work on reopening the door and letting them get back to Ireland. Keep well away from tiny doors in future!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bolshie... I LIKE that! Yup, they were very "bolshie," for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  33. Oh My Cod! Seville! Did those fairies pinch you? I find that the ones that come to our house like to pinch me and pull my tail!
    Purrs
    Marv

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hmmm... No, I don't thi.... WAIT A MINUTE. You know what? I think one of 'em pinched me after all. Those darned moused-up fairies... MOUSES!

      Delete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.