the Santa Sack, part I

This particular adventure actually happened last year, in December of 2018.  I started writin' about it then, but never got the chance to publish it, and in January, my brother Anderson succumbed to cancer, and then my sister, Mason, soon after that.  But a couple weeks ago, I read what I had written last year, when Mason and Andy were still with us, and my heart filled with joy.  It brought back all the memories of the fun we had together, and how much I loved them both.  So I thought to myself;  maybe my pals might enjoy reading 'bout our last adventure together, too.  Enjoy!  PURRS.

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"Jingle bells, Santa smells, jingle all the way..." Seville sang to himself while wrapping up presents.

"That's not very nice, you know," Mason said as she entered the room.  "Santa doesn't smell."

"Hmmm....  You might be right there, ol' sister of mine.  He probably doesn't.  Let's see...  Got it!" he squealed, snapping his claws.  "Jingle bells, Mason smells..."

"And THAT'S not very nice, either."

"Meh...  Perhaps not, but it most definitely IS factual."

"It is not!" cried Mason, her front paws now on her hips.

"Obviously you've never used the litter box after yourself.  MOUSES!"

Mason growled.  "Seville, I came to tell you there's someone at the door looking for you.  A delivery guy says he needs your pawnature."

"Oohhh...  I bet that's the parcel I've been expectin'.  Wait 'til you see what I ordered, Mason.  Be right back."

Seville returned moments later, dragging a large box behind him.  He used a claw to tear through the tape holding the box together, then pushed up the lid.  A wide grin grew across his face as he stared at the plush red fabric, within.

Andy and Rushton poked their heads into the living room.  "Did someone send you a prezzie, Sivvers?" Andy asked.

"Nope.  I ordered this myself," and he held up the red jacket to admire it.  "What a beaut!  I'm gonna be the best dressed cat in town this Christmas, for sure."

"You bought yourself a Santa Suit?" Rushy asked in awe.

"From whom?" asked Mason, a tone of suspicion evident in her voice.

Seville rolled his eyes.  "Some guy on e-Bay, of course.  Where else would I get something like this?"

"You have to be careful when buying things on-line, Seville," Mason said, her lips pursed together in  a know-it-all, sisterly smirk.  "There are all sorts of scammers out there.  That outfit will likely fall apart the first time you wear it.  It was probably made in China," she muttered.

"Don't be so negative, Mason.  I ordered this suit from a reputable dealer.  PLUS, I know a guy, who knows a guy, who knows a guy who kinda knows this other guy; the one who was sellin' the suit."

"And I know a guy who knows a guy who knows a GAL who kinda knows a guy needing a smacky-paw behind his ears."

Seville looked up.  "Who?"  He paused.  "Oh.  Never mind.  MOUSES!"

As Seville was donning the jacket, Rushy reached into the box.  "There's more stuff in here, Seville.  More than just the suit."

"The jacket is supposed to come with a Santa hat and sack," Seville answered.  "I think that there is the sack."

Rushton pulled it out of the box.  "It feels like there might be something inside."

Seville's ears perked up.  "A gift with purchase, perhaps?  I didn't even know about that.  What fun!  See what's inside, would ya?  I'm still tryin' to...  ARGH!" he growled with frustration.  "I'm still tryin' to get my other front paw into the sleeve of this here jacket."

Mason shook her head and turned to leave the room, but the sight of Rushton's tail protruding from the Santa sack made her pause.  Something didn't look right.  "Rushy, that bag isn't big enough for you to fit inside it."

"Is too..." Rushton called back, his voice sounding eerily distant.

Andy approached and lifted up the edge of the Santa sack, causing Rushy's tail to disappear inside.  He poked his head in it, too, and then back out.  "Uh, Sivvers...  Mason?  Rushton isn't in there, but I know I saw his tail disappear into that sack."

"Oh for crying out loud," Mason snapped, grabbing the edge of the sack from Andy.  "He is too in there, he..."  She looked over at Seville.  "Seville, Andy is right."

Seville nearly fell backwards from shock.  (You know, on account of Andy being right.)  With the jacket now on, he padded over to the Santa sack and lifted it up.  It was as light as a feather.  "He's not in there, Sis.  I couldn't pick up the sack if there was a long-haired freak of a brother inside.  Rushy's not as heavy as Andy," and he looked skeptically at his brother, "but still..."

"But I saw him go inside it!" Andy exclaimed.

"I did, too," said Mason.

Seville rolled his eyes.  "For mousin' out loud.  I'll prove it to you," and with that, Seville crawled inside the sack himself.

"WHERE DID HE GO?" Mason and Andy cried in unison.  The sack was lying flat on the floor.  There were no bulges.  No bumps.  No trace of Seville, even though both cats saw their brother crawl inside it.

Mason lifted up the bag and peered in, but it still appeared to be empty.  She looked back out at Andy.  "He isn't in there.  Nor is Rushy."

"Let ME see!" Andy cried, but in his haste to take a peek, Andy tripped over his front paws and bumped into Mason, and before either cat knew it, they were both tumbling head over paws into the depths of a large, dark cavern.  Finally coming to a stop, they looked about but could see nothing but darkness all around them.

"FINALLY," exclaimed Seville.  "I thought you two would never get here."  He padded over to his fur-sibs, carrying a lantern.

"WHO did you say sold you that Santa outfit, Seville?" Mason asked, her voice very wary, now.

"I told you, some dude on-line.  He did say the outfit was special..."  Seville's voice trailed off.

"Stolen property is more like it," scowled Mason.  "Do you think this could actually be Santa's sack?  Santa must use magic like this to fit in it all the nip mice and feather wand toys he delivers every Christmas to all the kitties around the world."

"Not to mention treats," added Andy.  "Santa brings lots and lots of treats."

Seville sat back on his haunches to think.

"Look what I found!" cried out Rushton, suddenly appearing at Seville's side.  "Mason mentioned nip mice and I thought to myself, boy would I ever like a nip mouse right about now, and the next thing I knew, there was a nip mouse right there by my paws!"

Seville's jaw dropped.  "The sack IS magic, and I bet it's Santa's sack, for sure.  We need to get it back to him, pronto.  We need to get it back to him before Christmas Eve!  We should call him up, and..."

"And WHAT?" demanded Mason.  "How are you going to call Santa?  We're stuck inside this darned thing with no way out."

Andy tugged on Seville's tail.  "You could use that telephone over there," he suggested.  "To call Santa, I mean," and he pointed to a telephone booth standing a few feet away.

"Sounds like a plan," Seville agreed, never questioning the sudden appearance of a telephone booth inside the Santa sack.  He looked about, "Anyone have a quarter?"

"There's one over here."  Rushton pointed to a quarter lying on the ground, sparkling as the light from Seville's lantern bounced off it.

Seville headed to the phone booth to make the call to the North Pole, and Mason turned to Rushton.  "Where did Seville get that lantern?" she hissed in a low whisper.

"He found it when he arrived here, wherever this place is.  When I first got here, it was pitch black, but then Seville appeared.  Now I didn't actually see him appear, because it was so dark, but I could hear him, and I heard him say something about his needing some light, and the next thing we knew, there was a lantern just sitting there, all ready to use."

"ANYONE KNOW THE AREA CODE FOR THE NORTH POLE?" Seville hollered from the phone booth.

"Eight, six, seven," answered Andy.

Everyone looked at him.

"What?  I read," he shrugged, "and sometimes I read the phone book."

Seville leaned his head out of the phone booth.  "You three had better take my lantern and start lookin' for some more quarters.  This call might take a while.  Some stupid elf went and put me on hold.  MOUSES!"

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Be sure to tune in on Christmas Day for the conclusion to my VERY SPECIAL Christmas adventure.  PURRS

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

   

the fairy tale

I sat back on my haunches and looked about the room.  "It's the weirdest thing," I said to myself.  "I know I left that ball of yarn out here last night.  I KNOW it!"  I peered under both the chesterfield and its matching chair, thinking the yarn might have rolled - or been kicked - under one of them by mistake but no, there was no sign of it under either one.  "PEEPERS," I called out.  "Have you seen..."

"The peep is busy upstairs looking for something."  It was my brother Rushton who answered my call.

"Is she looking for my ball of yarn?" I asked, hopefully.

"No," Rushy answered.  "She's muttering about some of the laundry she did yesterday having gone missing, and I doubt she laundered your ball of yarn.  And since when did YOU get a ball of yarn, anyway?"

"Since I took one out of the peep's knitting bag," I replied.  "Thing is though, it's gone missin'."

"Maybe Peepers found out you stole her ball of yarn and took it back.  Did you look for it in her knitting bag again?"

"Of course I did," I said with a sneer.  "Uh..." and I hesitated, "but maybe I'll a take another peek.  You know, to be sure."

Rushy rolled his eyes, obviously not believin' me.  MOUSES!

"Nope, not here," and I pulled my head out of the knitting bag.  "But there is a half ball of forest green yarn that would look really good with your fur.  You want it?"

Rushton sighed.  "I do, but I don't.  The peep says we're not allowed to play with her yarn, and I don't want to get into trouble."

"Suit yourself," I shrugged.  "But I still can't figure out where my ball of yarn went."

"When you were looking for your yarn," Rushton began, "did you happen to come across a big lump of orange-coloured fur?  That loose fur the peep got out of my coat when she combed me last night?"

"If I had, I would have left it right where I found it.  I'm not touchin' your fur."  The very thought disgusted me.  "The peep probably put it in the garbage or the compost bin or somethin'."

"She didn't," Rushy said.  "She was going to, but I snatched it out of her hand because...  Well...  Well because it was mine, and winter's coming, and I might need that fur to keep me warm."

I shook my head and went back to looking for my ball of yarn when something white caught my attention.  Was that a scrap of 100% white cotton peeking out from behind the armoire?  "How did that get there?" I wondered aloud.

I pawed my way over to the armoire, grabbed onto the fabric, and gave it a good pull.  Something - or someone - was holding onto it at its other end.  I gave it another tug, this time leaning back and using all fifteen pounds of my weight as leverage, and...  And...  And...

SPLAT!!!

Okay, so it wasn't so much a splat as a...  Uh...  Um...  Well I tumbled backwards and landed on my tail, okay?  It hurt, too, but I had hold of that piece of fabric.  I, Seville the Cat, had won.  MOUSES!

I took a good look at the fabric I held in my paw and saw it was a white t-shirt kinda thing belonging to the peep.  Was this one of the tops she had put in the laundry yesterday?  One of the things that Rushy said had gone missing?  How on earth did it end up behind the armoire?  And a better question was, why on earth were there a whole bunch of...

"Are those rectangular holes cut out of the peep's top?" Andy asked, interrupting my train of thought.  "She's not going to be pleased when she sees that."  He put one front paw on my shoulder, and used the other to hold up the shirt to get a better view.   "Sivvers, my boy, you're in it up to your whiskers."

"I didn't cut those holes out of the peep's top," I said, grabbing the t-shirt out of Rushy's paw.  "But someone sure did.  Someone cut a bunch of teeny-tiny rectangular holes in this thing.  It's totally ruined, for sure."

I went over to the armoire again and leaned up against the wall behind it.  Closing one eye, I attempted to peer between the chunky piece of furniture and the wall.  Oops!  Wrong eye.  Hehehe...  My bad.  But never one to give up, I closed the other eye and took another peek.  What I saw made me stagger backwards in shock.  Turning around, my mouth hanging open, I said to my brother, "Rushy, you're not gonna believe what's goin' on back there.  MOUSES!"

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Remember to return to Nerissa's Life, the blog, on Sunday December 1st for the conclusion to my latest adventure.  MOUSES!

the getaway

Previously, on Nerissa's Life:  Mason pointed to the two cloud figures now towering beside them.  Either they had grown in size, or these two were different cloud people.  Bigger cloud people.  Bigger and definitely ANGRIER, too.  And directly below where they stood, was a slowly forming pool of water.  MOUSES!

"Hoohh-boy," Seville whistled.   "Methinks this is not good."

"Oh you do, do you?" scolded Mason.  "You're thinking, now?  NOW?  Why couldn't you have been thinking before..."

"There's no time to be talking 'bout details at the mo," Seville told his sister.  "I'm sure there's more than enough blame to go around, but right now, we need to get out of here, pronto."  Grabbing Mason by the tail, he yelled, "COME ON!"

Seville made a run for the far wall, the one through which the cats had entered the room, but in doing so, he stepped in the puddle of water beneath the cloud figures, which was slowly spreading across the floor.  His right front paw slid out from underneath him.  Trying to catch his fall, he stepped in the ever growing puddle with his left front paw.  That one, too, slid out from underneath him, and before Seville knew it, he was lying on the floor with all four paws splayed out in different directions.

"Get up!  GET UP!" Mason yelled.  "You've got my tail caught under that tummy of yours."

"Hey!" Seville sharply cried.  "Is that another one of your fat jokes, Mason?"

"This is no joking matter," Mason growled.  "I can't escape because you've got hold of my tail."

"Oh.  Sorry."  Seville climbed to his paws, releasing his grasp of Mason's tail.  But mere seconds later, his paws started to slip again and once more, he was down on the floor.

Seeing Seville was once again incapacitated, Mason grabbed Seville by his tail, and started to pull.  "I can't do it!" she puffed.  "You're too heavy.  How many treats have you been eating?"

Seville screwed up his face in anger.  "Now THAT WAS a fat joke, for sure.  Those treats only have one or two calories a piece, you know.  And it's not like I'm the only one eating 'em, either.  MOUSES!"

Mason scowled.  "One or two calories adds up when you eat an entire package at a time.  They're treats, not meals.  Don't you EVER listen to the peep when she tells you stuff?"

"I listen when I need to, but the fact is, when she's talkin' about stuff I don't wanna hear, I don't need to listen."  Seville wanted to stamp a paw for emphasis, but as he was still lying face down on the floor, he could manage nothing more than a weak slapping motion.  "Awww...  MOUSES!" he growled.  "MOUSES!"

As the two cats bickered with one another, Mason noticed the shadow of the storm cloud figures looming larger.  "Seville, we need to get out of here and we need to get out of here, fast.  WORK WITH ME, WOULD YOU?  Try to climb to your paws again.  Come on, Seville...  COME ON!!!"

"I'm tryin'.  I'M TRYIN'!  I can't get a pawhold on this slippery floor, Mason.  It's too wet.  There's too much water!  The puddle is gettin' bigger and bigger!"

"THEN SWIM!" Mason cried.  "SWIM!!!  Swim for your life, Seville.  SWIM FOR YOUR LIFE!!!"

Seville attempted a few strokes of the doggy paddle, but found the puddle to be too shallow.  "It won't work," he whimpered.  "The water's not deep enough for swimmin'."  A tear rolled down his cheek and onto the floor, adding to the puddle of water beneath him.

"Try floating, then.  If you can float, maybe I can haul you by your tail.  Like a tow boat or something."  Mason grabbed Seville by his tail again and pulled, but before long, she, too, was slipping and sliding on the wet floor.  Her hind legs flew out from underneath her and she landed with a hard thump on her tail.  "OUCH!"  She rubbed her tail with a paw.  "It's no good," she moaned.  "I can't pull you away from those creatures."

Seville swallowed, hard.  "Mason, you've gotta save yourself.  Make a run for it, Sis.  Maybe...  Maybe if you can get home to the peep...  Maybe you can bring back help?  Maybe..."

"I'm not leaving you alone up here, Seville."  Mason shook her head, adamantly.  "No way, no how.  I'm not leaving you here with those cloud figures on the loose.  We're in this together," and she placed one of her paws on one of Seville's.  "We're family," she purred.  "Family doesn't leave family to fend for themselves in sticky situations."

"Actually," Seville corrected his sister, "this particular situation is more slippery, than sticky.  My gosh, if I could get my paws to stick to this here wet marble floor, I'd be able to get up and out, and...  OUCH!" he yelled as Mason smacky-pawed him in the ear.  "What happened to all your mushy talk about family?"

"Being family," growled Mason, "doesn't prevent me from giving you a good smacky-paw when needed.  In fact," she added in a whisper, "it's usually better to smacky-paw your fur-sibs than complete strangers.  Smacky-pawing strangers is frowned upon by the peeps."

"Smacky-pawing family is frowned upon, too," muttered Seville.  "Peep #1 says..."

Seville stopped short as the cloud figures' shadow darkened dramatically, directly overhead.  "Oh my mouses, Mason!  We've gotta escape or we're both done for, for sure.  We've gotta..."

Driven by both fear and desperation, along with a sudden surge of adrenalin, Seville climbed to his paws.  Balancing himself on all fours, precariously, but managing to maintain an upright position, he looked over at his sister.  "RUN!" he yelled.  "RUN!"

Miraculously, both cats managed to take one or two steps forward, but the pool of water from the cloud figures had continued to grow and Seville's third step landed him, once again, on a slippery patch.  Down he went once more, this time hitting his head, HARD, on the white marble floor.  Everything went dark and Seville wasn't sure if the cloud figures' shadow, overhead, was blotting out all the light, or if he had been knocked unconscious again.  Like when he first arrived inside the cloud.

"Seville.  Seville?  Seville, are you alright?"

Seville opened his eyes and saw Peep #1 kneeling on the ground next to him.  She was leaning over him, directly overhead, exactly where the cloud figures' shadow had been, moments before.  The peep's face looked full of worry.

"Seville, are you okay?" the peep asked, gently.

Seville managed to turn his head to his right.  He saw Mason standing there, front paws on her hips, looking worried but scowling, too.  "You NEVER listen, Seville.  You never listen.  And just LOOK at what happened to you because of it."

"What happened?" Seville managed to ask.

"That sudden gust of wind tore a tile right off the roof," the peep began.

"Oh yeah, I remember seeing that..." Seville thought aloud.  "It flew right by me, it did."

"IT DID NOT," Mason stated angrily.  "It didn't fly by you at all.  It hit you on your head, and  knocked you right out.  You've been lyin' there for ages now, unconscious.  Either that or you've been napping."

"It did?  It hit me on the head and knocked me out?" Seville asked.  "Really?"

"Really."  Mason narrowed her eyes and pursed her lips.  "The peep TOLD you to stop watering your nip plants and to come inside.  She knew there was a storm coming..  She knew you'd be a lot safer in the house, and..."

"MY NIP PLANTS!"  Seville cried as he bolted up into a sitting position.  "Are they okay?  Did they get enough water?"

"I should think so," muttered Mason.  "After you were knocked out by that roof tile, it started to rain.  It rained tonnes.  And," she added with a growl, "because the peep and I had to be out here with you while you were lying there on the ground, we both got rained on, too.  You know how I don't like the rain, Seville.  It messes up my fur."

"Oh.  Well sorry 'bout that," Seville apologised.

"You never listen, Seville.  You never listen to me or to the peep.  One of these days..."

But Seville didn't hear Mason's lecture, for at that moment, he looked up at the sky.  Off in the distance was a giant storm cloud, moving quickly eastward, and away from the cats' house.  Seville squinted at the cloud.  Was that?  Could that be?  Yes, yes it was.  It was difficult to see well, due to the growing distance between himself and the cloud, but Seville was sure he could see a young boy with poker straight hair looking out a window, from inside the cloud.  And the boy was waving at Seville.  He was waving goodbye.

"Sorry, Mason," and Seville turned his attention back to his sister.  "You were sayin'?"

"I was saying, YOU NEVER LISTEN."  Mason stamped her paws.  Turning to the peep she said, "YOU deal with him.  Maybe he'll be more inclined to listen to you.  BROTHERS," she grumbled.  "BROTHERS!"  She then stomped off toward the house.

Seville looked up at Peep #1 and shrugged his shoulders.  "What's up with her?  Do you know? MOUSES!"

an accident

Previously, on Nerissa's Life:  Seville glanced about the room.  Seeing the chaos around him, he twisted his jaw to one side.  "Hmmm..."  Noticing Mason scowling at him, he asked in an innocent voice, "WHAT?  Don't scowl at me like that, Sis.  If they didn't want me playin' with their toys, they shouldn't have left 'em out here in the open.  You know, where I'd see 'em.  And play with 'em.  And stuff.  MOUSES!"

Several of the globes that had been perched on tables prior to the cloud listing to one side, had fallen to the floor.  As the cloud eventually righted itself again, Seville watched one globe make its way across the floor, gradually coming to a stop mere inches away.  About to raise a paw and give it a good swat to send it careening off once more, he heard a loud and anguished cry.

"I said, DON'T TOUCH THAT!"

Seville followed the sound of the voice and found Jeremy lying on the floor, beneath him.

"And would you PLEASE get off me?" Jeremy whined.  "This shirt was freshly pressed this morning."

Seville smirked.  "Freshly pressed by your MOM, I bet," he chuckled.  Then, in a reassuring tone he added, "Actually, it still looks pretty pressed to me."

"More like flattened," Mason stated.  "Seville, get off Jeremy, right now.  It's not nice to squish people, you know."

Seville narrowed his eyes.  "Is that some kinda fat joke, there, Sis?  'Cause if it is..."

"Please...  PLEASE...  Please get off me," Jeremy wheezed.  "I can barely breath."

"THAT DOES IT," and Seville climbed to his paws.  "I'm gonna give you BOTH a good smacky-paw to remember, and..."

"ENOUGH!" a loud and forceful voice echoed throughout the room, emanating from all directions and thus preventing the cats from deciphering the exact whereabouts of the voice's owner.  Frozen in fear, they stared at one another.  Jeremy, however, appeared nonplussed.

"Oh no!" Jeremy cried out.  Having gotten to his feet, he reached down to pick up the globe lying closest to him on the floor.  "There's a crack," he whispered, horror evident in his voice.

Seville stood up on his hind legs to get a better look at the globe in Jeremy's hands.  "That a bad thing?" he asked the boy.  "I mean, it's just a toy, right?  I've broken lots of toys in my time.  One might even say I'm like a PROFESSIONAL toy breaker.  Peep #1 just gets me new ones.  You need my first peep to get you a new toy globe?"

Mason let out a loud sigh of exasperation.  "Seville, this is clearly more than just a toy.  Look at what happened when you made it spin, earlier."

"Oh yeah, I had forgotten 'bout that.  Well I had tried to forget about it, anyway."  Turning back to Jeremy, he asked, "So uh...  Do you think that globey thing of yours can be fixed?"

Jeremy stared down at Seville, blankly.  Mason shook her head, sadly, and sighed once more.

"Do you happen to have any superglue, about?" asked Seville.  "I'm a dab paw at workin' with superglue, you know."

"Yeah, like that time, way back when, when you super glued a marker to your butt," Mason laughed.  "That marker was stuck to your butt for days!  When you finally showed the peep, SHE HAD TO CUT IT OFF WITH THE FUR-TRIMMER!"  Tugging on Jeremy's pant leg, she added, very seriously, "Whatever you do, do NOT give Seville any superglue."

Seville scowled at his sister.  "Just ignore her," he said to Jeremy.  "That was a long time ago.  And it wasn't my fault.  It was an accident, and..."

"Yeah, an accident," Mason scoffed.  "Just like you accidentally broke the Earth."

"I DID NOT."  Seville paused.  He looked up at Jeremy holding the Earth-like globe in his hands and staring at the large crack down its side.  He watched as a tear ran down Jeremy's cheek.  "I didn't really, did I? Seville asked.  "I mean, I didn't REALLY break the Earth.  DID I?  MOUSES!"

Jeremy glanced away from the globe and down at Seville.

Seville gulped, hard.  "Ummm...  You have insurance for this sort of thing, there, Jeremy?  UMMM..."

At that moment, Mason took a swipe at Seville, smacking one of his ears.  "Heads up there, Bro."

Seville massaged the ear Mason had smacked, and glared at his sister.

Mason coughed.  Then she coughed again, only louder.

"WHAT?" hissed Seville.  "What is it this time."

Silently, Mason pointed to the two cloud figures now towering beside them.  Either they had grown in size, or these two were different cloud people.  Bigger cloud people.  Bigger and definitely ANGRIER, too.  And directly below where they stood, was a slowly forming pool of water.  MOUSES!

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Be sure to tune in this comin' Wednesday for Part V of my latest adventure.  Purrs.

don't touch that!

Previously, on Nerissa's Life:  Off in the distance, Seville thought he could see what appeared to be the end of the corridor.  Would the mysterious wizard be on the other side?  And why-oh-why did he live inside a cloud?  And more importantly, WHAT DID HE WANT WITH TWO CATS?  MOUSES!

The corridor came to a dead end but Mason clearly knew exactly where she was going.  Stepping toward the wall, she allowed one paw to disappear into its fluffy, cloud-like structure.  "Are you coming?" she called over her shoulder to Seville.  "He's waiting for us in there."

Seville watched his sister vanish, leaving nothing but pillowy soft clouds behind her.  "For mousin' out loud," he muttered.  "I'm gonna have to go in there after her, now, even though that's just about the last thing I was wantin' to do."

One of the cloud figures reached forward and poked a surprisingly sharp cloud finger in the small of Seville's back.

"Okay, okay!  You don't have to shove," Seville grumbled.  "I'm goin'.  I'm goin'!  MOUSES!"

Emerging on the far side of the wall, Seville's paw nearly slid out from underneath him as he stepped on something slippery.  Looking down, he saw a small pool of water that had formed near the wall's edge.  He looked up again and saw that he was now standing in a large room, housing a number of long tables.  Upon each table, there was a globe, carefully balanced on a pedestal, showing various weather patterns on Earth.  Due to both the room's size, and the fact that the floor and tables appeared to be made of white marble, the same colour as the cloud-like walls, the room had a somewhat stark appearance.

Mason was on the far side of the room, engrossed in an animated conversation with someone.  "Could she be talkin' to the wizard?" Seville wondered aloud.  "Could that be him?"  Trotting toward Mason, he skidded on yet another wet patch.  "Whoever thought of usin' marble floors in a cloud that rains every time you walk through a wall, was missin' a few marbles, himself," he grumbled.  "Must be the most stupid thing, ever.  That marble sure does get slippery when wet.  MOUSES!"

"There you are," Mason said, turning to Seville.  "Finally.  I'd like you to meet..."

"YOU'RE NOT A WIZARD," Seville stated.  He narrowed his eyes and wrinkled his nose.  "You look way more like a...  A...  A schoolkid or somethin'.  You don't look like a wizard at all.  Where's your robe?  Huh?  And do you even own a wand?"  Turning to his sister, he said, "Mason, I thought we were gonna meet the wizard, not some kiddo on summer holidays.  MOUSES!"

"What IS it with you and your wizards? Mason asked.  "You've been talking about wizards from the moment we got here.  Well, from the moment you woke up, anyway."

"Well I...  Awww...  Never mind," Seville scowled.  "MOUSES!"

The young boy grabbed Seville by a paw and vigorously shook it.

Seville drew back.  "Watch it," he growled.  "It's bad enough to be poked and prodded by cloud figures, but to be manhandled, too?  Or rather, kid-handled, I should say.  MOUSES!"

"I'm so sorry," the boy apologised, profusely.  "I'm sorry!"  He raked his fingers through poker-straight hair.  "It's...  It's...  It's such a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Cat.  I've waited for so long."

"You've been waitin' to meet me?" Seville asked.  "Little ol' me?" and he blushed.  "Me?"

"Of course," replied the boy.  "You're Seville the Cat."

"Well uh...  YEAH.  That is me.  So uh..."

"Enough of this mindless chitchat!" Mason exclaimed.  "We have work to do.  Jeremy, here, has been wanting to meet you because he's in need of your help, Seville.  He..."

"He is?"

"YES, HE IS."  Mason stamped a paw.  "Seville, this is going to take forever if you keep questioning everything I say."

"It will?"

"ENOUGH WITH THE STUPID QUESTIONS!" and Mason whacked Seville on his side with the end of her tail.

"Fine.  You don't have to yell.  And quit whappin' me.  It smarts as all get out," he added under his breath.  "My gosh, you're such a bossy sister.  How did I ever end up with a sister who thinks she's the boss of..."

"DON'T TOUCH THAT!" Jeremy yelled with horror.

"Wha?" cried Seville, taken by surprise.  He withdrew the paw he had, moments earlier, used to mindlessly spin one of the Earth-like globes precariously poised over the nearest table.

Without warning, the cloud the cats were in tilted violently to one side, causing the floor to slope, perilously.  Tables began to slide down the incline, alarm bells started to ring, Jeremy's chair, which was on wheels, crashed into the far wall, and several cloud figures materialised nearby.

Seville glanced about the room.  Seeing the chaos around him, he twisted his jaw to one side.  "Hmmm..."  Noticing Mason scowling at him, he asked in an innocent voice, "WHAT?  Don't scowl at me like that, Sis.  If they didn't want me playin' with their toys, they shouldn't have left 'em out here in the open.  You know, where I'd see 'em.  And play with 'em.  And stuff.  MOUSES!"

**************************************

Be sure to tune in this comin' Sunday for Part IV of my latest adventure.  Purrs.

where's Mason?

Previously, on Nerissa's Life:   The hand withdrew back into the cloud from whence it had come, carrying both cats along with it.  Off in the distance, Mason and Seville could hear Peep #1 calling their names once more.  Seville felt a tear roll down his cheek as he listened to the peep's cries growing fainter and fainter by the second.  Would he and his sister ever see Peep #1 again?


"Oof.  OUCH!  Watch it there, buddy.  Just who do you think you are?"

In response, the cloud figure pushed Seville once more, causing him to stumble over his front paws.

"I'm tellin' ya," Seville growled, "one more shove like that, and things 'round here are gonna get REALLY messy.  MOUSES!"

Seville studied the corridor down which he was being led.  The walls were padded with white and dark grey clumps of something familiar.  "Clouds.  That's what they are," he murmured to himself.  "The walls look like the edges of a cloud.  I must be inside the storm cloud."

Now remembering exactly what had happened earlier when the giant hand had grabbed him by the scruff of his neck, pulling Seville and his sister into the belly of the cloud, he looked about for Mason.  "Hey.  You.  Yeah, YOU!" he said to the cloud figure.  "Where's my sister Mason?  I want to see Mason right now."

Getting no response from the cloud figure but another shove forward, Seville reached a paw out to touch one of the corridor walls.  Although the wall looked solid, it wasn't, and his paw went straight through, disappearing behind white foam.  Withdrawing his paw, he noticed a small puddle form on the floor, directly below the spot he had touched.

"Uh, just so you know there, buddy...  I didn't do that.  Well, I kinda did do that, but what I really mean is, I DIDN'T DO what you might think I did.  That there's water on the floor.  Nothin' yellow 'bout it.  MOUSES!"

The cloud figure remained silent but pushed Seville forward once more, apparently just for good measure.

"So uh...  So is this here some kinda Wizard of Oz sorta thing?  You know, like when Dorothy and Toto were transported off to the Land of Oz?  TAKE ME TO THE WIZARD!" Seville chuckled, thrusting a paw into the air.  "First though, I want you to take me to my sister.  Where is she?  I WANNA SEE MY SISTER, AND I WANNA SEE HER NOW."

Grabbing Seville by the shoulder, the cloud figure brought the cat to a stop.  The billowy hand pulled back on Seville's right shoulder ever-so-slightly, forcing him to face the right wall.  It then pushed Seville toward it.

Just as Seville's paw had gone straight through the cloud-like wall earlier, he found his entire body could pass through the wall, and before he knew it, he and the cloud figure were standing in a room, completely empty, save for a large, golden, throne-like chair.  And on that chair sat...

"MASON!" Seville cried, excitedly, as he ran forward to where his sister sat.  Giving Mason a huge hug, he asked, "Oh my mouses, Mason, is it really you?  I was so worried 'bout you.  What are you doin' here in this room?"

Seville took a step back.  "Mason...  MASON.  Mason, are you like this cloud's wizard?  I mean, I jokingly asked the storm guy here to take me to the wizard, and where he brought me was straight to you.  MOUSES!"

Mason grinned from ear to ear.  "This place is great, Seville.  You ask for nip, and do you know what you get?  NIP!  I asked for a big plate of it, earlier, and you should have seen what they brought me.  The service here is incredible.  It's like a five star hotel!  These storm guys really know how to treat a cat right."

"Maybe for you," Seville grumbled, "but I haven't been treated all that well.  They've just been shovin' me around.  And I haven't been given a single nip leaf since we arrived, and boy-oh-boy could I ever do with some.  And..."

Seville interrupted himself by scratching behind an ear with a paw.  "Mason, just how long have we been in this here storm cloud, anyway?  You've had time to chow down on an entire plate of nip?  REALLY?  I thought we just arrived."

Mason waved Seville's worries off with a paw.  "Oh, we've been here for ages.  Couple of hours, at least.  You were unconscious when we first arrived."

"UNCONSCIOUS!" Seville cried out, indignantly.  "I MOST CERTAINLY WAS NOT."

"Well then you must have been napping," Mason stated.  "I had assumed you had knocked your head on something on the way up here, but maybe you simply decided to take a nap."  She scowled.  "I know you like your naps, but everything has a time and place, and.."

"FINE.  I was unconscious, then."  Seville looked about before asking, "So uh...  You think I could get some of that nip, too?"

"Probably not," Mason answered, wiping a little nip juice from the corner of her mouth.  "Now that you're awake, they'll," and she pointed to two cloud figures hovering near where Seville had been pushed through the wall, earlier, from the corridor, "They'll want to take us to see..."

"The wizard?" queried Seville.

Mason narrowed her eyes.  "Wizard?  WIZARD?  What is it with you and wizards, today?  No, they'll want to take us to see..."  Mason coughed, and lowering her voice she added, "You know, him."

"Who's him?  I mean, he?  You know what I mean."  It was now Seville's turn to lower his voice.  "And why are you suddenly whispering?"

"I don't know," Mason answered with a sing-song voice.  Hopping down from the chair, or throne, or whatever it was, she pawed her way across the room toward the cloud figures.  "Let's go," she told them.  "It's time for Seville and me to meet..."

"WHAT THE MOUSES ARE YOU DOIN'?" Seville yelled, grabbing his sister by the tail.  "You can't just waltz around here with these cloud people things.  For starters, they're pushy as all get out," he told her, rubbing the back of one shoulder where he had earlier received a particularly hard push.  "Plus, they don't answer any of your questions.  Actually, they don't appear to talk at all!"  Seville stepped back and looked closely at his sister.  "Mason, are you still high from that plate of nip they gave you?  Huh?  HUH?  HUH?  Well, ARE you?"

Mason waved off her brother's questions.  "All will be answered in good time.  Come on," and she grabbed Seville by a paw.  "It's time for us to go meet this wizard."

"Wizard.  WIZARD.  I KNEW IT!  I knew there was some kinda wizard lurkin' about 'round here," Seville muttered.

Moments later, Seville found himself being dragged through the cloud wall once more.  He and Mason were now heading down the very same long corridor he had travelled along before, but this time Mason was leading the way, instead of the cloud figures pushing him forward.  Seville did his best to keep a healthy distance between himself and the cloud people, just in case one decided to reach forward and give him another prod.

Off in the distance, Seville thought he could see what appeared to be the end of the corridor.  Would the mysterious wizard be on the other side?  And why-oh-why did he live inside a cloud?  And more importantly, WHAT DID HE WANT WITH TWO CATS?  MOUSES!

******************************************

We interrupt our regular programming for...

CANADA DAY!

As Canada Day falls on Nerissa's Life's next scheduled publishing day, Part III of our story won't be available this Sunday.  Instead, it will be broadcast, live, on Wednesday July 4th.  Please be sure to tune in, then.  MOUSES!

a storm approaches

From inside the house, Mason called out to her brother.  "Seville!  Peep #1 says you have to come inside.  She says there's a storm heading this way."

Hearing what his sister has said, Seville looked up at the once blue sky.  Black clouds, heavy with moisture, were quickly approaching, and at the same time, the wind was picking up.  He shivered as the temperature suddenly dropped a few degrees.

"Tell her I need to finish waterin' my nip plants, FIRST!" Seville called back.  "I'll be in right after that."

"YOU TELL HER YOURSELF!" Mason yelled back.  "SHE SAID YOU HAVE TO COME INSIDE, NOW."

The wind had begun to howl, and Seville could barely hear his sister.  "WHAT?" he yelled out, but Mason had already retreated indoors.  Shrugging his shoulders, Seville went back to watering his catnip plants.  Moments later, a roofing tile flew past his head.  "Gosh, it really is gettin' stormy out here," he muttered.  "I had best hurry up and finish wa..."

Another roofing tile flew past, this one nearly smacking Seville in the head.  "HEY!  WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'!" he yelled out to no one in particular.  "Peeps aren't gonna be happy if they have to retile the roof.  MOUSES!"

Moments later, Seville noticed a dark shadow on the ground.  He looked up at the sky again, and saw a particularly ominous looking cloud stalled directly overhead.  "My gosh, if that thing lets loose, the rain will be torrential.  It'll be a deluge!  Perhaps I had best stop waterin' these nip plants for now," he murmured as he put the watering can down on the ground.

Seville stood there in the garden.  He looked up at the cloud once more.  It was huge.  Tilting his head to the right, and then to the left, he thought he saw something moving within it.  The cloud looked almost as if it had a face.  "Now that's weird," he thought aloud.  "Whoever heard of a cloud with a face?  Must be an optical illusion or somethin' like that.  Like the man in the moon, or..."

"MOUSES!" Seville yelled.  He watched in horror as what looked like a giant hand began to form at the outer edges of the cloud.  Slowly but surely, what appeared to be an arm attached to the hand, grew longer and longer and longer, reaching out toward where Seville stood motionless, paralysed by fear.

"LOOK OUT!" Mason cried as she came careening toward her brother.  She pushed him out of the way moments before the giant cloud hand could reach him.  "What the heck is that thing?" she whispered as the two cats crouched behind one of Peep #1's tomato plants.   "It looks scary.  I've never seen anything like it before."

"Mason...  Seville..."

The cats could hear Peep #1 calling to them.  Even though the peep was only as far away as the back door, her cries sounded far more distant, her voice being carried off in the opposite direction by the wind.

"Peepers is callin' us," Seville whispered to Mason.  "You think we can make a run for it and get to safety?"

Mason shook her head.  "Uh-uh, I don't think we should risk it.   We should stay right here, where we're hidden by this tomato plant."

Seville wrinkled his nose.  "Gosh these tomatoes are stinky things.  Gonna take me hours of washin' up to get the tomato stink out of my fur.  I'll take catnip over tomato plant leaves any time.  Don't know why the peep insists on growin' such stupid stuff when she could be growin' us nip."

Mason nodded in agreement but out of the corner of one eye, she kept watch as the giant hand attached to the storm cloud felt its way around the garden, giant fingers creeping along the soil.  She whispered, "That thing...  That hand...  It doesn't look very friendly.  It might grab us if we come out of hiding."

A few seconds later, the hand reached Seville's catnip plants.  Carefully, it picked one up, holding the plant between the tips of its fingers, dangling it in the air.

"YOU GIVE THAT BACK!" Seville hollered, revealing the two cats' hiding spot.

Responding to Seville's cry, the giant hand dropped the catnip plant.  Reaching over to the tomato plant behind which the cats were hiding, it pulled the plant right out of the ground, and flung it across the garden, fully exposing both cats.  It then grasped Seville by the scruff of his neck.

"HEY!  HEY!  LET GO OF ME!" Seville screamed.  He struggled to get out of the hand's grasp, but the hand was simply too big and too strong.  Moments later, Seville felt himself being lifted off the ground and into the air.

"YOU LET MY BROTHER GO!" Mason yelled.  "YOU LET HIM GO RIGHT NOW!"  Leaping up, Mason grabbed Seville around his waist, hoping the combined weight of the two cats would force the cloud hand to let them go.  Instead, the hand carried both cats higher and higher up in the air.  Mason held onto Seville for dear life, her claws digging into his marmalade fur.

Quickly and efficiently, the hand withdrew back into the cloud from whence it had come, carrying both cats along with it.

Off in the distance, Mason and Seville could hear Peep #1 calling their names once more.  Seville felt a tear roll down his cheek as he listened to the peep's cries growing fainter and fainter by the second.  Would he and his sister ever see Peep #1 again?

**************************************

Be sure to tune in this comin' Wednesday for Part II of my latest adventure.  Purrs.

what cheek

What cheek.

What cheek!

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, if I had a loonie for every...

Pardon me?  A loonie?  Yeah, a LOONIE.  You know, a loonie!  Loonies are what we Canadian kitties call dollars.

I don't know why.  We just do.

MOUSES!

Anyway...

Anyway, if I had a loonie for every cheeky squirrel I met, I'd be a fat cat, for sure.  And by fat cat, I mean rich, as in havin' lots of loonies.  Not as in...

I'M JUST BIG-BONED, OKAY?

MOUSES!

SO ANYWAY...

So anyway, if I had a loonie for every cheeky squirrel I met, I'd have my weight in loonies, for sure.

YOU KNOW HOW MUCH NIP THAT COULD BUY?

MOUSES!

Let me tell you what happened the other day.  There I was sittin' in my office, workin' on my upcomin' adventure, when...

When someone came a-knockin' on my office window.

Now my first thought was, What the mouses is the peep doin' knockin' on my window?  Then my second thought was, WHY the mouses is the peep knockin' on my window?  Then I heard the peep doin' somethin' in the kitchen.  Knowin' it wasn't the peep knockin' on my window, I thought to myself, WHO the mouses is knockin' on my office window?

Bein' a cat, curiosity got the best of me and I got up off my chair, and trotted over to said window, and you are NOT gonna believe what I saw.

There, sittin' in the little flower bed below the window, LAUGHIN' AT ME, was a squirrel.  One of those big grey ones.  You know, the ones with the big long fluffy tails.  And yes, he was laughin'.  And YES, he was laughin' at me.  I could tell on account of his pointin' at me through the window with one paw, and holdin' his tummy with the other, while laughin'.

MOUSES!

Okay, so maybe he wasn't actually doin' that finger pointin' thing.  And maybe he wasn't actually laughin', either.  Maybe he was actually just sittin' there, lookin' at me.

Well I wasn't gonna put up with that.

The next thing I knew, he was down on all four paws, headin' straight for me.

Or maybe he was really headin' for the window.  But anyway, I backed up just in time, 'cause let me tell you, my friends, that grey squirrel jumped up and tried to scale MY office window!

I think he thought he was Spider Man or somethin'.

Spider Squirrel?

Nah, "Spider Squirrel" sounds kinda unrealistic.

MOUSES!

Well like I said, I jumped back just in the nick of time, 'cause there was that squirrel, tryin' to climb up my window.  Then, OUT OF THE BLUE, a second grey squirrel arrived, and he was wantin' to climb up my window, too!

It was the weirdest thing I've ever seen, my friends.  The weirdest thing, for sure.  And believe-you-me, I''ve seen a lot of weird things in my nine lives.

You've MET my peeps, haven't you?

'Nough said.

MOUSES!

"OH PEEPERS...." I cried.  "Squirrels outside are lookin' for nuts.  They're probably lookin' for you."

MOUSES!

Clearly, the squirrels had been the ones knockin' on my office window, and CLEARLY, they were attemptin' to break inside.

WHAT WAS A KITTY TO DO?

Lickin' my lips, I briefly contemplated roasted squirrel with a creamy nip sauce for din-dins that night, but quickly thought the better of that.  That's the kinda thing that gets a kitty in trouble with the peeps, you see.

MOUSES!

Then I thought...

"BOO!"

Okay, so it wasn't so much a thought as an actual word.  Yup, an actual word I actually said out loud.  Although to be honest, it came out soundin' more like a meow.

But nevertheless, my meowy boo did the trick, for sure, for the next thing I knew, those two big grey squirrels were high-tailin'...

And when I say, high-tailin', I mean HIGH-tailin', for those squirrels had REALLY BIG HIGH-FLYIN' tails.

Anyway, the next thing I knew, the two squirrels were high-tailin' it down the driveway, headin' for the big ol' oak tree down by the road.

"AND DON'T EVEN THINK OF COMIN' BACK!" I yelled after 'em.  "UNLESS YOU WANNA BE SERVED FOR DINNER, THAT IS."


I sure told them, I thought to myself.  Won't see the likes of those two scoundrels for a long time to come.  Trottin' back to my desk, bein' VERY PLEASED with myself, I hopped up on the chair and got back to writing 'bout my upcomin' adventure.

Next thing I knew...

SOMEONE was a-knockin' on my office window.

AGAIN.

MOUSES!

so the other day...

So the other day I was thinkin', and...

"You were thinking, Seville?"

"Oh shush up, Mason.  Yes, was thinkin'.  I, Seville the Cat, think on a regular basis.  I think 'bout all sorts of stuff, AND I think about said stuff practically every single day."

Mason raised an eyebrow.

"I DO TOO.  Don't look at me like that."

"Like what?" Mason asked, pretendin' to be Miss Lady Innocent, and everythin'.

"Like all disbelievin' and stuff.  Bottom line is, I think.  The question at paw is, do YOU?"

Mason grunted and turned on her tail to leave, but moments later she stopped and spun back around.  "If you think so much, Seville, what are you thinking about right now?"

"Stuff."

Mason rolled her eyes.  "Right, stuff like what?"

"Stuff like stuff," I scowled at my sister.  "Just...  STUFF."

Without sayin' a word, she gave me her look that said, OH REALLY?

I scowled at Mason some more.  "Sometimes I think about YOU, sister dear.  'Bout how annoyin' you can be, questionin' my every move.  And 'bout how you think you're the boss around here."

"I don't think that, Seville.  I KNOW."

And just when I thought I couldn't possibly screw my face up into more of a scowl than the scowl it was already in, I surprised myself, and scowled at Mason even more.

"So seriously, Seville, what were you thinking about the other day?"

"What?  What's that you're goin' on about now?"

"When I came into the room, earlier," Mason sighed, "you were claiming to have been thinking the other day.  What were you thinking about?"

I lifted my paw and inspected an extended claw.  After blowing off an invisible speck of dirt with a puff of my breath, I answered, "Like I said, just stuff.  What don't you understand 'bout the word, stuff, Mason?"

"Seville, fess up.  You weren't thinking at all."

I opened my mouth to respond, then closed it again.  Then opened it once more.  "Was too!" I blurted out.  "I was thinkin' about stuff.  STUFF THAT HAS NOTHIN' TO DO WITH YOU."

Mason was clearly doubtful.  I could tell, you see, on account of both her eyebrows tryin' to reach for the ceilin'.  Then my sister sighed a big sigh and said, "IF you were thinking, Seville, I bet you were thinking about catnip."

I twisted my jaw to one side.  "Hmm....  I can see how you might think that, Mason.  Yup, I can see that, for sure.  After all, I do think 'bout the nip an awful lot.  'Bout how I can get my paws on the nip.  'Bout how I can earn money to buy me some nip.  'Bout how I can make money sellin' the nip, in order to buy even more.  'Bout how..."

"I GET THE PICTURE," interrupted Mason.  "You think a lot about nip."

I nodded in agreement.  "I do.  But the other day, the stuff I was thinkin' about wasn't catnip at all.  Not even catnip related."

Mason furrowed her brow.

"It's true!  Actually....  Can you keep a secret, Mason?  Can you?"

"I keep the fact that we're related, a secret, all of the time."

"You what?" I asked, my jaw droppin' to the floor.

"Until now, I had kept my keepin' you a secret, secret, too."

I growled a low growl.  "If you're gonna be mean like that, Mason, I WON'T tell you my secret.  See if I care.  I won't tell you what I was thinkin' about, at all."

Mason sighed.  "Okay, I'll be nice.  What were you thinking about the other day?  I promise I..."

"Cross your heart and hope to spray?"

"Cross my heart and hope to spray," Mason agreed, begrudgingly.  "I promise I won't tell your secret to a soul."

"Well," I began, "the other day, I was thinkin'...  I was thinkin' it's high time for me to go on another adventure of some kind.  Not quite sure where.  Or even when.  Not exactly, at least.  But in the next few weeks, I'm gonna go on an adventure, for sure.  And it's gonna be an excitin' adventure, too.  Wanna come, Mason?  Huh?  HUH?  Do you?  Do you think that maybe you do?

                              *******************************************

Stay tuned for my next excitin' adventure, coming soon to a computer screen near you.

MOUSES!

the weasels who stole Easter

"WHAAHHH?" Seville cried, awaking with a start.  "What the mouses was that?"

"DID YOU HEAR THAT?" Mason yelled as she ran into the bedroom and slammed the door shut behind her.

"Shh!!!  You'll wake up the peep," Seville told his sister, "and I just got her to sleep."  Putting his paws over Peep #1's ears, he asked, "Did I hear what?"

"That noise.  It sounded like glass breaking," Mason answered.

"As a matter of fact, I think I did hear that.  I heard somethin', anyway.  Some kinda noise woke me up."

"I think someone is breaking into the house," Mason whispered.  "Seville, you and I need to check this out.  Come on," she beckoned.  "We need to check it out right now."

"FINE," grumbled Seville, and jumping down from the bed, he scampered after his sister.  Together, they headed downstairs.

Side by side, the two cats crept along the hallway until they were within a paws' reach of the living room door.  Mason put a paw to her mouth, and extending one claw, she silently reminded Seville to keep quiet.  She then pointed to the living room and mouthed the words, "They're. In. There."

The two cats peered around the corner of the door, and into the living room.  Their jaws dropped at the sight before them.  Several weasels were searching the room.  They were looking under the chesterfield and chairs, tossing throw pillows onto the floor, and even reaching behind the paintings on the walls.  In the dining area at the far end, a weasel could be seen rummaging around in the drawers of the buffet table, while another was lifting the corners of the area rug.

"What the mouses are they after?" whispered Seville to his sister.

Mason shrugged her shoulders.  "Nip?" she suggested.

"Well they're out of luck if it's nip mice they're after," said Seville.  "I slobbered over the last one in that room, yesterday afternoon.  Remind me to tell the peep we need her to knit up a few more."

Mason let out a little gasp.  "Look!  That weasel has found something on one of the dining room chairs."  She squinted so as to see what was in the weasel's hand.

Both Seville and Mason recognised the weasel's newly found treasure, immediately, and turned to face one another.  In unison, they cried, "THEY'RE STEALING OUR EGGS!"

A deathly silence emanated from the living room.  Having heard the cats in the hallway, the weasels stopped what they were doing, and listened intently.  Hearing nothing more, they went back to searching the room.

"They're stealing our eggs," the two cats cried again, this time whispering.

"Those are the eggs the Easter Bunny left for us."  Seville stomped a paw.  "For us CATS.  And they're stealing them all.  Those dirty rotten rascals...  MOUSES!"

"Shh..."  Mason reminded her brother, once more.  "They'll hear you.  We need to find out what they're planning to do with our nip eggs."

"They're probably gonna have a nip party or somethin', Sis.  They're probably gonna get nipped on OUR nip eggs."  Seville pressed his lips shut.  Catching his tongue between his teeth, he stopped himself from yelling out MOUSES!

"SHH..." Mason reminded her brother a second time.

"Wait a minute," murmured Seville.  "I have an idea.  Be right back," and he scampered off into the kitchen.  Moments later, Seville returned carrying a large egg.  Very carefully, he gently placed it on the floor in the middle of the hallway, just outside the living room door.

"Get back!" Mason urged.  "They're coming this way."

The two cats pressed their backs against the hallway wall.  Luckily, there were no lights on in the hall, allowing them to melt in the shadows.  They watched as seven weasels, each carrying a bulging sack of what appeared to be nip eggs, marched, single file, toward the front door.  The lead weasel bent down to pick up the egg Seville had left on the floor, and tossed it into the sack he was carrying.  Moments later, the front door slammed shut, and the weasels were gone.

"MOUSES!" cried Seville, loudly this time, no longer having to conceal his presence.

"Mouses, indeed," Mason murmured.  Turning to her brother, she calmly stated, "Seville, you and I are going to go get our nip eggs back."

"Maybe we should just phone the police," suggested Seville.  "There are seven of them, and only two of us."

"And like the police are really going to believe two cats calling in the middle of the night about a gang of weaselly bandits stealing nip eggs left by the Easter Bunny."

"Hmmm...  You might have a point there, Sis.  Weasels stealing eggs does sound kinda fanciful, doesn't it?"

"Come on."  Mason grabbed Seville by a paw, and dragged him toward the front door.  Once out on the veranda, they spotted what they recognized as the Weasel Syndicate's getaway van, heading down their street at top speed."

"I KNEW IT!" Seville cried.  "I knew the Syndicate was behind this, for sure."

"COME ON, THEY'RE GETTING AWAY!" yelled Mason.  Still holding Seville by the paw, she started after the weasel's van at a trot.

"Mason..." and Seville dug his back paws into the ground.  "We can't catch up to their van on paw.  We need to..."

Mason spun on her heels.  "Don't be such a negative nelly, Sivvers.  No one would ever get ANYTHING done if they gave up before even trying."

Reluctantly, Seville got to his paws.  "FINE.  But I still say..."

At that moment, the Weasel Syndicate's van came careening back down the street and toward the cats' house.

"Well would you look at that," whistled Seville.  "You think they've had a change of heart and are returnin' our nip eggs?"

"No...  Why would they?"  Mason looked puzzled.

The van screeched to a halt at the end of the cats' driveway.  All four doors opened at once, and weasels came piling out, coughing and sputtering, gasping for air.

"What on Earth?" Mason cried.

Seville smiled a wide smile from ear to ear, and light from the streetlamp sparkled as it bounced off his upper fangs.

The head weasel marched over to the cats, tossing down his sack of eggs at their paws.  "And I suppose you think this is funny!" he cried.

Seville chuckled.  "Actually, uh..  Yeah.  As a matter of fact, I do."  He held onto his tummy and roared with laughter.

"OUR WHOLE VAN REEKS!" the weasel yelled.

Mason looked puzzled.  "Sivvers, what did you do?"

"WHAT DID HE DO?" cried the weasel.


"Yeah, what did he do?"  Mason looked from the weasel to Seville, and back to the weasel again.

"Heheheheheee..." laughed Seville, clapping his front paws together with delight.  Grabbing the weasel's sack, he peered inside and gave it a little sniff.  "Everythin' seems in order here.  Where did you put it?"

"Where did he put what?" asked Mason, still confused about what was going on.

"It's in the van," grumbled the weasel.  "It fell out onto the van floor."

"And did it break when it fell?" asked Seville.

"You know perfectly well that it did, Cat," the weasel spat.  "Why else would we have returned?"

"Why else, indeed," smirked Seville.

"WHAT THE MOUSES IS GOING ON?" Mason yelled.

"Sorry, Sis," Seville apologised.  "I guess I should fill you in.  Remember that egg I left on the floor in the hallway?"

Mason nodded.

"And do you remember those eggs Peep #1 found way at the back of the fridge, the other day?  You know, the ones she had forgotten about?  The ones from Easter, LAST year?  The ones she didn't know how to get rid of?"

"Oh yeah..." and now it was Mason's turn to smile.  "I remember those."  She slapped Seville on  the back.  "Good one, Seville."

"I know, right?" and Seville gave his sister a high paw.

"WHO'S GOING TO PAY TO DESTINKIFY OUR VAN?" the weasel yelled.  "IT REEKS FROM TOP TO BOTTOM!"

Mason pursed her lips together.  "It does, does it?  Well that's somewhat unfortnate."  She placed her front paws on her hips and stomped a paw.  "You weasels shouldn't be breaking into houses and stealing cats' nip eggs.  Maybe you'll learn a lesson from this."

Seville leaned over and whispered in his sister's ear.  "Not likely, Sis.  Weasels aren't too bright, you know.  They're not like us cats."

"True," agreed Mason, before turning back to the weasel.  "I want each and every one of the nip eggs you stole, returned right now.  Come on.  COME ON.  Time's a wasting!" and she snapped her claws together, inches from the weasel's nose.

"You go, girl," Seville told Mason.  "I'll go re-hide this bag of nip eggs.  Those two long-haired marmie freak brothers of ours will be awfully disappointed if they don't get to hunt for eggs on Easter mornin', you know."  He turned, and as he headed inside the house, he called back to his sister, "Have the weasels leave the rest of our eggs on the veranda, okay?  I'll come get 'em once this first lot is hidden."

"I SAID, TIME'S A WASTING!" Mason again yelled at the weasel, who was still standing in the same spot, watching with dismay as Seville headed indoors.  "GO GET THOSE EGGS, AND GO GET THEM NOW," Mason cried, practically pushing the weasel toward his van.

"BUT WHO'S GOING TO PAY TO DESTINKIFY OUR VAN?" the weasel again cried.

"The same weasel who broke a rotten egg on the van floor, I would think," answered Mason.  She snapped her claws once more.  "Go get those nip eggs, I said."

"But..."

"Shall I go see if I can rummage up another rotten egg or two from the back of the fridge?" Mason asked.


"No.  No...   NO!  that won't be necessary."  The weasel gulped, hard.  "You cats may have won, this time, but..."

"But?" asked Mason, daring the weasel to continue.

"But nothing," answered the weasel, half swallowing his words.

Mason grinned.  "Feel free to cry MOUSES! if you so desire."

The weasel turned and grumbled as he stomped toward his van.  "Outwitted by a couple of cats...  On Easter morning...  MOUSES!"

the infestation

"Whatcha doin' there, Mason?" Seville whispered in his sister's ear.  "Spyin' on the peeps?"

"SHHH!" Mason slumped her shoulders, disappointedly.  "Darn it, Seville.  You made me miss what Peep #1 said right before she hung up the phone."

"Sorry 'bout that, Sis.  Was it an important call?"

"I'll say.  The peep has some sort of infestation," and Mason spat the last word out with disgust.

Seville's eyes grew wide.  "Was she talkin' to the doctor?  Is it serious?  IS IT CONTAGIOUS?  IS IT CONTAGIOUS TO CATS?  MOUSES!"

Shaking her head, Mason replied, "I don't think so.  She was talking to some kind of plant doctor, whatever that is.  Some of the plants in the sunroom are infested with...  Uh...  I think she said it was greenflies.  No, she said, aphids."

"Pshaw!  Nothin' for us to worry 'bout then.  On the other paw...  Mason, why don't we go sort out those aphids for the peep?  I bet we can get rid of 'em, lickity-split.  MOUSES!"

Mason shrugged.  "I suppose we can try.  Let's go check it out."

Seville opened the sunroom door, only to back away quickly before slamming it shut again.  "MOUSES!" he cried.  "It's not just one or two plants with aphids.  THE WHOLE SUNROOM is FILLED with green things flying around everywhere.  It's the infestation of all infestations.  An infestation of mammoth proportions.  IT'S HUGE!  It's...  It's....  IT'S...  IT'S A NIGHTMARE IN THERE.  No wonder the peep was callin' a plant doctor for help.  I think she should be callin' in the army, myself.  We're gonna need exterminators.  Or ghost busters.  Or BOTH!  MOUSES!"

"It's THAT bad?" Mason queried, as a green object hit the glass pane of the sunroom door, causing her to jump backwards with fright.

"Yup.  That bad and more.  How the mouses did aphids multiply like that?"

"And why are they so big?"  Mason stared in disbelief as another green object hit the door.  "They must be the size of small birds!"

"At least.  Never seen anythin' like it," Seville muttered.  "MOUSES!"

"Mouses is right.  They could be the size of mice.  They're definitely bigger than chickadees."  Mason peered through the sunroom door, staring at the objects flitting about the room.  "Do you think they're some kind of aphid mutation?" she finally asked.

Seville sat back on his haunches.  "If that's the case, Peep #1 isn't gonna be able to deal with 'em all by herself, and I'm not sure a mere plant doctor will be able to help her, either.  Generally speakin', peeps aren't used to dealin' with mutations and stuff.  Hmmm...  I wonder if they could be radioactive," he pondered.

"Well Peep #1 is DEFINITELY not used to dealing with that."

Seville nodded, "You got that right, Sis.  This is most definitely a job for us cats.  Now how exactly does one deal with a radioactive infestation of mutated aphids?  You think we should...?"

"Seville..." Mason interrupted, as ANOTHER green object hit the glass door.  She watched it as it flew away, and across the room.  "I don't think those things in there are aphids.  I don't think they're insects, at all.  They look more like..."

"Like FAIRIES," Seville said with dread.  "MOUSES!"  He turned to his sister and grabbed her by the shoulders.  "Do you know what this means, Mason?  It means, the peep has a FAIRY infestation in the sunroom!  How the HECK does that even happen?"

Mason shook herself free from Seville's grasp.  Gritting her teeth, she asked, "Are you sure you didn't have anything to do with this, Seville?"

"Of course not.  How the mouses...  Hmmm...  On the other paw...."  and Seville scratched behind an ear.  "Now that I come to think of it..."

"What did you do?" asked his sister.

"Well...  Nah, that can't be it."  Seville shook his head.  "Although..."

"Spit it out, Sivvers.  What. Did. You. Do."

"Well..."

"What did you do THIS time, I should be asking," persisted Mason.

"Well I might have...  Nah, I REALLY don't think that could have uh...  Ummm...  Okay, so this is what happened," and Seville clapped his front paws together.   "Remember that fairy garden the peep was settin' up in the sunroom?"

"Yeah..."

"Well in that fairy garden,  there was this little door.  It was a pretty small door.  It was fairy sized, you know?  And it was stuck."

"Stuck?" asked Mason.  "Stuck on what?"

"Oh, it wasn't stuck on anythin', Sis.  It was stuck shut.  And as a cat, I've never met a door I didn't want to open.  You know, to see what's on the other side, and that sort of thing.  We cats always wanna be on the other side of any closed door, right?"

"Go on," Mason urged.

"Well...  Well I was absolutely sure I could get that little fairy door open.  It had a keyhole and everythin'.  All I needed, was the key."

"And did it have a key?" Mason asked.

"No.  Unfortunately, there was no key.  But I wasn't gonna let the lack of a key get the best of me!  So I uh...  Well... Well I kinda jimmied the lock.  And do you know what?  That little fairy door opened right up!"

"To where?" Mason looked confused.  "I mean, what was on the other side?"

"Now that was where things got kinda weird," and Seville made himself more comfortable before continuing his explanation.  "There was like this empty hole on the other side of the door.  It was a really long, very dark, tunnel kind of thing, leading to...  To I don't know where.  It was just empty, black space."

"That IS weird," agreed Mason.  "So what did you do then?  Close the door shut again?"

"Uh....  That would be a negative, Sis.  I think that's about the time I heard Peep #1 openin' a bag of treats, so - OF COURSE - I ran into the kitchen to get some.  And to tell you the truth, I don't really know what happened to the little fairy door after that.  I think I just left it there."

Mason scowled at her brother.  "Mouses Seville, you've gone and opened some sort of wormhole, or transdimensional vortex, or..  Or...  Or I don't know what, leading from I don't know where, right into our sunroom.  This is not a good thing, Sivvers."

Just then, another fairy hit the sunroom door with a loud thud.

"And the fairies appear to a wee bit upset, too," Mason said, adding an Irish lilt to her voice.

"You'd really think they'd learn to stop hittin' the door like that," murmured Seville as another fairy slammed into it.  "That's gotta hurt.  MOUSES!"

"Seville," began Mason, "can you see the fairy garden from this side of the sunroom door?  Can you see if the fairy door is still open?

Seville peered through the glass.  "Yup, it's over there in the far corner.  The door appears to be shut, but I really don't remember closin' it."

"HEY!  CAT!" yelled a fairy, who was fluttering mid-air in the sunroom.  "You're the cat I saw yesterday, when I came to visit the garden on this side of the door."

"I am?"  Seville looked dumbfounded.  "You saw me, yesterday?  You saw ME?"

"Yes.  Moments after I flew into the garden, I looked over and saw you, high-tailing it out of this...  This prison, where my sisters and I have been trapped."

Seville thought for a moment.  "So you're sayin', right after I opened that there little door," and he pointed over to the fairy garden, "you flew through it, and into our sunroom?  And all those other fairies?  Did they just follow you through the same door?"

"Yes," answered the fairy.  "We like to travel in packs.  Do you have a problem with that?"

Ignoring the fairy's question, Mason asked, "And then you were all trapped in our sunroom?"

"If by sunroom, you mean this PRISON, then yes," the fairy answered.

"Well that's dumb," said Seville.  "If you thought you were bein' imprisoned in our sunroom, why didn't you just turn around, and fly back through the door again?"

The fairy's expression grew impatient.  "Because, STUPID, by the time we realised we had been imprisoned, the door has closed shut again.  There was another cat in here.  Orange like you, but with longer fur.  One of my sisters startled him, and as he turned to flee, his tail hit the garden door, swinging it shut."

Mason and Seville looked at one another and in unison, stated, "Andy."

"Well?" said the fairy.  "Are you going to set us free?  Or are you planning on holding us here indefinitely.  Or are you holding us hostage for ransom of some kind...  Are you demanding a ransom of leprechaun gold before you'll return us to Ireland?"

"Oh for mousin' out loud.  Hold onto your horses there," Seville told the fairy, tersely.  "No one's holdin' you hostage or damandin' ransom or anythin' like that.  Although...  About how much gold would we be talkin' about, exactly?"

Mason gave Seville a hard smacky-paw to the back of his head.

"Ouch!"  Seville scowled at his sister.   "Fine.  I guess it would be best if we were to just let them go."

"Don't think you're letting them free in our house," Mason warned.

Seville sighed.  "Don't be silly, Sis.  "I jimmied that lock open before, I can jimmy it open again.  Once the door is open, the fairies will be free to fly back through the door, and return to Ireland."

"Sounds like a reasonable plan," agreed Mason.  "Although you are going to have to enter the fairy infested sunroom to do it."

"Don't I know it.  Once I enter the sunroom, Sis, be sure to slam the door shut.  We don't want any of those fairies gettin' loose out here."  Seville took a deep breath, swung open the door, and dashed inside the sunroom, calling out behind him, "Wish me luck!"

"Good luck," Mason whispered under her breath.  She closed the door behind her brother, and watched Seville as he made his way across the room, swatting flying fairies out of his way, as if they were a swarm of green and white mosquitoes.

Slowly but surely, Seville fiddled with the fairy door's lock until he managed to get it open.  "Whew," he sighed with relief.  "Okay you fairies!" he called out.  "You all need to line up, single file, now.  One at a time, fly through the door and be on your way home," he instructed.  " AND NO RACIN'!  I don't need anyone with broken wings, on my paws," he muttered.

Once the last fairy had disappeared through the door, Seville shut it tightly.  Not wanting to take any chances of another fairy infestation, he broke off the sheath of his longest claw, and jammed it into the lock.  "There, that should do it.  No way, no how, is this door gettin' opened again.  One fairy infestation is enough for this cat's nine lifetimes, for sure.  MOUSES!"

Returning to the sunroom door, Seville pounded on it.  "You can let me out of here now, Mason!" he cried.

"Are you sure those fairies are all gone?"

Seville looked about.  "Yup, every single one of 'em.  They're probably back in Ireland by now."

Mason opened the door for Seville.  "That's good.  They'll be back in time for St. Patrick's Day, too.  All's well that ends well, right?" and she patted her brother on his back.  "You did good work today, Seville"

"I'm just glad it's all over," Seville sighed.  "MOUSES!"

*******************************************************

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

purrs