wearin' the green

Hey Peepers!  PEEPERS!  PEEPERS!

Yeah, I was talkin' to you.

MOUSES!

So anyway, Peepers, I'm not sure if you were aware of this or not, but tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day.

You know, the day celebratin' everythin' green.

MOUSES!

OF COURSE I KNOW St. Patrick's Day is about more than just wearin' green.  Which, by the way, does not apply to us cats.  Us cats - specifically Saffron and I - have no intention of wearin' anythin' green.

Not that we're opposed to wearin' green, of course.  There's nothin' wrong with wearin' green.  Nothin' wrong with it, at all.  What we're opposed to is the idea of wearin' clothes of any kind.

Us cats prefer to go nekkid, you see.

MOUSES!

But back to the business of St. Patrick's Day.

You and Peep #2 should wear somethin' green to celebrate the day.  Green sweaters.  Green pants.  Green whatever you have.  But most important of all, make sure you're wearin' SOMETHIN', okay?

Cats prefer non-nekkid peeps, you see.

MOUSES!

And besides wearin' the green, we should go all out with the green fuds and stuff.  A little grass added to our dins-dins would go over quite well.  Oh, and a sprig of catnip on the side, would be especially nice.

And along with the fuds, we need to think 'bout what we should drink.  Drinkin' is an important part of celebratin' St. Patrick's Day, you see.  Irish pubs are gonna be filled to brim.

NO, I'm not plannin' on gettin' drunk.

Gettin' NIPPED, on the other paw...

Never you mind that I get nipped every day of the year.  On St. Patrick's Day, I should be sure to get nipped, more than once.

So nip tea should be served from dawn until dusk, and...

And yes, make sure that nip tea is really good and green.

Not to mention strong.

MOUSES!

And one other thing, Peepers.  Just one other thing you should do.

Since it's a special occasion...

Since tomorrow is a special occasion, a bouquet of shamrocks should be sittin' right there in the centre of the table.  Not for eatin', of course.  Just for display.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Yes, that is what you heard.  On the table.  On the dinin' room table.  Right there in the middle.  'Cause on special occasions, it's customary for us cats to eat at the table with you and Peep #2, and...

WELL IT'S CUSTOMARY NOW, OL' PEEPERS OF MINE.  So lump it or leave it.  If you two peeps don't wanna eat at the table with us, you can eat on the floor.

Just don't look at Saffron and me to help you back up.

Back up off the floor.

'Cause with peeps, gettin' down is quite easy but sometimes gettin' back up is an entirely different story, you see.

MOUSES!

Oh, and after our celebratory din-dins, we can all read 'bout the various St. Patrick's Day adventures, I've had over the years.

2014:  Seville's Four-Leaved Clovers

2015:  Catnip and Fairy Dust

2016:  Finders Keepers...  Maybe

2018:  The Infestation

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY, EVERYBODY!

still lookin'...

I'm still lookin'.

Yup, I'm still lookin'.

Oh yeah, I am most definitely STILL LOOKIN', for sure.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' that I, Seville the Cat, have lost somethin' of great importance and as I can't seem to find it, I am STILL LOOKIN'.

Well...

Well, you're kinda right about that, my friends, but then, you're kinda wrong about it, too.  You see, the thing is...

The thing is...

The thing is, the thing for which I am lookin' isn't really lost, on account of my never havin' had it in the first place.

Although, yeah, I Am. Still. Lookin'.

MOUSES!

Long story short: another St. Patrick's Day has come and is almost gone and I STILL haven't found a huge patch of four-leaved clovers, or a big ol' pot of gold at the end of a rainbow, or even a leprechaun or two I could hold for ransom, and...

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' holdin' leprechauns for ransom isn't a very good idea.

Yeah, you're probably right about that.  I've heard stories 'bout leprechauns and their uh...

Umm...

Ill tempers.

MOUSES!

Plus, if I WERE to find one hangin' about, I might be tempted to think of him as a...

Well...

You know...

Snack.

Don't tell anyone, but I've heard they're magically delicious.

MOUSES!

So I guess I'm just gonna have to give my ol' diary a read and reminisce 'bout all the St. Patrick's Day adventures I've had in the past.  When four-leaved clovers and leprechauns were definitely easier to find.

And then...

Well...

Well then, I'll have to have a snack.

Unfortunately, said snack is not likely to be magically delicious, if you know what I mean.

MOUSES!

Oh, I know!  Wanna reminisce with me?  Oh, come on...  It'll be fun.  Hold on a sec and I'll get you the links.

MOUSES!

2014:  Seville's Four-Leaved Clovers

2015:  Catnip and Fairy Dust

2016:  Finders Keepers...  Maybe

2018:  The Infestation

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

top of the mornin'

Top of the mornin' to ya, my friends.  TOP OF THE MORNIN'!

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

I'd give you a nice big bouquet of shamrocks or somethin' for the the occasion, but...

Well...

You know, the ground's still covered in snow.

MOUSES!

But the sun is shinin' so it looks like it's gonna be a really nice day.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, I was thinking 'bout spring bein' almost upon us and stuff like that, and I was wonderin'...

I was wonderin' if it might be time to pull the ol' pots of catnip out of the garage.

But then I remembered...

Ground's still covered in snow.

MOUSES!

Life sure is tough when you're a cat.

MOUSES!

But then I saw that ol' Peepers has some of those fancy shmancy lights for growin' stuff.

Well truth be told, they're not all that fancy.  She got 'em from Amazon.  Cheap.

MOUSES!

And they're certainly not shmancy...  YET.

What?  Shmancy doesn't mean smashed?

MOUSES!

But why the mouses should those lights be used for stupid ol' peeper...  I mean, PEPPER plants?  WHY?  I, Seville the Cat, am a cat - obviously - and I don't eat no peepers.  I mean, PEPPERS, you see.

Yeah, yeah...  Double negative.  I know.

MOUSES!

But my point is, as a cat, peppers are of no use to me.

Peepers, on the other paw, is good for openin' tins and stuff.

AND SINCE THOSE PEPPER PLANTS ARE OF NO USE, knocking 'em off the table would be an appropriate thing to do.  Some might even say, HELPFUL.

You know, to make room for pots of the nip.

So...

SO I'M THINKIN' that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

MOUSES!

PS.  Due to the this ol' pandemic thing and travel restrictions and stuff, I couldn't have a St. Patrick's Day adventure this year.  As a Canadian kitty, I couldn't go to Ireland.  And leprechauns and fairies couldn't come to me!  The Canadian Government even sent some kinda official to the front door tellin' me to hand over the keys to my teleportation device.  Can you believe it?  Yeah, neither could I.  EVERYONE KNOWS my flyin' fryin' pan teleportation device doesn't use keys.  MOUSES!  But what I can do is share the links to some of my adventures from years past.  Just click on the name of the adventure and enjoy.  PURRS 

2018 St. Patrick's Day adventure:  The Infestation

2016 St. Patrick's Day adventure:  Finders Keepers...  Maybe

2015 St. Patrick's Day adventure:  Catnip and Fairy Dust

2014 St. Patrick's Day adventure:  Seville's Four-leaved Clovers

AND FINALLY....

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

top of the day to you all!

Happy St. Patrick's Day, everybody.

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!

Oh my mouses, my pals, I NEARLY FORGOT.

Can you believe it?

I did.

That's right, my friends, I nearly forgot today was St. Patrick's Day.

Now that wasn't lucky at all.

MOUSES!

Well actually...

Well actually, I didn't forget entirely.

Sometime last month, I remembered.

But then...

LAST WEEK...

I FORGOT.

MOUSES!

I've had so much on my mind as of late, you see.  You know, on account of my being hard at work writing my book.  I've been focused on that book of mine, for sure.

FYI, regarding my book, so far I've got two dead bodies, a couple of possible impostors, two law enforcement agencies - at least, a humongous list of suspects, and one suspiciously missing peep.

MOUSES!

So as you can imagine, with all my book writing stuff and everything, I wasn't able to bring you a 2019 St. Patrick's Day adventure.

So instead...

And I do hope this is okay.

So instead of writing a new adventure this year, on account of my havin' my paws full with adventure of the book-writing kind, I'm gonna post the links to some St. Patrick's Day adventures from St. Patrick's Days past.

That okay?

MOUSES!

So let's get started then.

If you remember last year, we had a wee bit of a flying green thing problem in the sunroom.  It was a mess, my friends.  A mess!  You can read all about it in The Infestation on my blog.

MOUSES!

In 2016, I found some gold coins.  I thought they were there for the taking.  Turned out, they weren't.  You can read all about 'em in Finders Keepers...  Maybe on my blog.

MOUSES!

Back in 2015, Nissy was still with us and he, along with a magical fairy, helped me concoct..  I mean, make.  Nah, concoct will do.  Anyway, Nissy helped me do up some catnip-flavoured breath mints.  Remember?  You can read all about 'em in Catnip and Fairy Dust on my blog.

MOUSES!

My last adventure to share is from 2014, when Nissy and I travelled ALL THE WAY TO IRELAND for some St. Patrick's Day fun.  You can read all about it in Seville's Four-Leaved Clovers on my blog.

MOUSES!

So there you have it, my friends.  Four - count 'em, FOUR - St. Patrick's Day adventures to share.

HAPPY READING EVERYONE!

And more importantly...

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY

TO YOU ALL!!!

 

the infestation

"Whatcha doin' there, Mason?" Seville whispered in his sister's ear.  "Spyin' on the peeps?"

"SHHH!" Mason slumped her shoulders, disappointedly.  "Darn it, Seville.  You made me miss what Peep #1 said right before she hung up the phone."

"Sorry 'bout that, Sis.  Was it an important call?"

"I'll say.  The peep has some sort of infestation," and Mason spat the last word out with disgust.

Seville's eyes grew wide.  "Was she talkin' to the doctor?  Is it serious?  IS IT CONTAGIOUS?  IS IT CONTAGIOUS TO CATS?  MOUSES!"

Shaking her head, Mason replied, "I don't think so.  She was talking to some kind of plant doctor, whatever that is.  Some of the plants in the sunroom are infested with...  Uh...  I think she said it was greenflies.  No, she said, aphids."

"Pshaw!  Nothin' for us to worry 'bout then.  On the other paw...  Mason, why don't we go sort out those aphids for the peep?  I bet we can get rid of 'em, lickity-split.  MOUSES!"

Mason shrugged.  "I suppose we can try.  Let's go check it out."

Seville opened the sunroom door, only to back away quickly before slamming it shut again.  "MOUSES!" he cried.  "It's not just one or two plants with aphids.  THE WHOLE SUNROOM is FILLED with green things flying around everywhere.  It's the infestation of all infestations.  An infestation of mammoth proportions.  IT'S HUGE!  It's...  It's....  IT'S...  IT'S A NIGHTMARE IN THERE.  No wonder the peep was callin' a plant doctor for help.  I think she should be callin' in the army, myself.  We're gonna need exterminators.  Or ghost busters.  Or BOTH!  MOUSES!"

"It's THAT bad?" Mason queried, as a green object hit the glass pane of the sunroom door, causing her to jump backwards with fright.

"Yup.  That bad and more.  How the mouses did aphids multiply like that?"

"And why are they so big?"  Mason stared in disbelief as another green object hit the door.  "They must be the size of small birds!"

"At least.  Never seen anythin' like it," Seville muttered.  "MOUSES!"

"Mouses is right.  They could be the size of mice.  They're definitely bigger than chickadees."  Mason peered through the sunroom door, staring at the objects flitting about the room.  "Do you think they're some kind of aphid mutation?" she finally asked.

Seville sat back on his haunches.  "If that's the case, Peep #1 isn't gonna be able to deal with 'em all by herself, and I'm not sure a mere plant doctor will be able to help her, either.  Generally speakin', peeps aren't used to dealin' with mutations and stuff.  Hmmm...  I wonder if they could be radioactive," he pondered.

"Well Peep #1 is DEFINITELY not used to dealing with that."

Seville nodded, "You got that right, Sis.  This is most definitely a job for us cats.  Now how exactly does one deal with a radioactive infestation of mutated aphids?  You think we should...?"

"Seville..." Mason interrupted, as ANOTHER green object hit the glass door.  She watched it as it flew away, and across the room.  "I don't think those things in there are aphids.  I don't think they're insects, at all.  They look more like..."

"Like FAIRIES," Seville said with dread.  "MOUSES!"  He turned to his sister and grabbed her by the shoulders.  "Do you know what this means, Mason?  It means, the peep has a FAIRY infestation in the sunroom!  How the HECK does that even happen?"

Mason shook herself free from Seville's grasp.  Gritting her teeth, she asked, "Are you sure you didn't have anything to do with this, Seville?"

"Of course not.  How the mouses...  Hmmm...  On the other paw...."  and Seville scratched behind an ear.  "Now that I come to think of it..."

"What did you do?" asked his sister.

"Well...  Nah, that can't be it."  Seville shook his head.  "Although..."

"Spit it out, Sivvers.  What. Did. You. Do."

"Well..."

"What did you do THIS time, I should be asking," persisted Mason.

"Well I might have...  Nah, I REALLY don't think that could have uh...  Ummm...  Okay, so this is what happened," and Seville clapped his front paws together.   "Remember that fairy garden the peep was settin' up in the sunroom?"

"Yeah..."

"Well in that fairy garden,  there was this little door.  It was a pretty small door.  It was fairy sized, you know?  And it was stuck."

"Stuck?" asked Mason.  "Stuck on what?"

"Oh, it wasn't stuck on anythin', Sis.  It was stuck shut.  And as a cat, I've never met a door I didn't want to open.  You know, to see what's on the other side, and that sort of thing.  We cats always wanna be on the other side of any closed door, right?"

"Go on," Mason urged.

"Well...  Well I was absolutely sure I could get that little fairy door open.  It had a keyhole and everythin'.  All I needed, was the key."

"And did it have a key?" Mason asked.

"No.  Unfortunately, there was no key.  But I wasn't gonna let the lack of a key get the best of me!  So I uh...  Well... Well I kinda jimmied the lock.  And do you know what?  That little fairy door opened right up!"

"To where?" Mason looked confused.  "I mean, what was on the other side?"

"Now that was where things got kinda weird," and Seville made himself more comfortable before continuing his explanation.  "There was like this empty hole on the other side of the door.  It was a really long, very dark, tunnel kind of thing, leading to...  To I don't know where.  It was just empty, black space."

"That IS weird," agreed Mason.  "So what did you do then?  Close the door shut again?"

"Uh....  That would be a negative, Sis.  I think that's about the time I heard Peep #1 openin' a bag of treats, so - OF COURSE - I ran into the kitchen to get some.  And to tell you the truth, I don't really know what happened to the little fairy door after that.  I think I just left it there."

Mason scowled at her brother.  "Mouses Seville, you've gone and opened some sort of wormhole, or transdimensional vortex, or..  Or...  Or I don't know what, leading from I don't know where, right into our sunroom.  This is not a good thing, Sivvers."

Just then, another fairy hit the sunroom door with a loud thud.

"And the fairies appear to a wee bit upset, too," Mason said, adding an Irish lilt to her voice.

"You'd really think they'd learn to stop hittin' the door like that," murmured Seville as another fairy slammed into it.  "That's gotta hurt.  MOUSES!"

"Seville," began Mason, "can you see the fairy garden from this side of the sunroom door?  Can you see if the fairy door is still open?

Seville peered through the glass.  "Yup, it's over there in the far corner.  The door appears to be shut, but I really don't remember closin' it."

"HEY!  CAT!" yelled a fairy, who was fluttering mid-air in the sunroom.  "You're the cat I saw yesterday, when I came to visit the garden on this side of the door."

"I am?"  Seville looked dumbfounded.  "You saw me, yesterday?  You saw ME?"

"Yes.  Moments after I flew into the garden, I looked over and saw you, high-tailing it out of this...  This prison, where my sisters and I have been trapped."

Seville thought for a moment.  "So you're sayin', right after I opened that there little door," and he pointed over to the fairy garden, "you flew through it, and into our sunroom?  And all those other fairies?  Did they just follow you through the same door?"

"Yes," answered the fairy.  "We like to travel in packs.  Do you have a problem with that?"

Ignoring the fairy's question, Mason asked, "And then you were all trapped in our sunroom?"

"If by sunroom, you mean this PRISON, then yes," the fairy answered.

"Well that's dumb," said Seville.  "If you thought you were bein' imprisoned in our sunroom, why didn't you just turn around, and fly back through the door again?"

The fairy's expression grew impatient.  "Because, STUPID, by the time we realised we had been imprisoned, the door has closed shut again.  There was another cat in here.  Orange like you, but with longer fur.  One of my sisters startled him, and as he turned to flee, his tail hit the garden door, swinging it shut."

Mason and Seville looked at one another and in unison, stated, "Andy."

"Well?" said the fairy.  "Are you going to set us free?  Or are you planning on holding us here indefinitely.  Or are you holding us hostage for ransom of some kind...  Are you demanding a ransom of leprechaun gold before you'll return us to Ireland?"

"Oh for mousin' out loud.  Hold onto your horses there," Seville told the fairy, tersely.  "No one's holdin' you hostage or damandin' ransom or anythin' like that.  Although...  About how much gold would we be talkin' about, exactly?"

Mason gave Seville a hard smacky-paw to the back of his head.

"Ouch!"  Seville scowled at his sister.   "Fine.  I guess it would be best if we were to just let them go."

"Don't think you're letting them free in our house," Mason warned.

Seville sighed.  "Don't be silly, Sis.  "I jimmied that lock open before, I can jimmy it open again.  Once the door is open, the fairies will be free to fly back through the door, and return to Ireland."

"Sounds like a reasonable plan," agreed Mason.  "Although you are going to have to enter the fairy infested sunroom to do it."

"Don't I know it.  Once I enter the sunroom, Sis, be sure to slam the door shut.  We don't want any of those fairies gettin' loose out here."  Seville took a deep breath, swung open the door, and dashed inside the sunroom, calling out behind him, "Wish me luck!"

"Good luck," Mason whispered under her breath.  She closed the door behind her brother, and watched Seville as he made his way across the room, swatting flying fairies out of his way, as if they were a swarm of green and white mosquitoes.

Slowly but surely, Seville fiddled with the fairy door's lock until he managed to get it open.  "Whew," he sighed with relief.  "Okay you fairies!" he called out.  "You all need to line up, single file, now.  One at a time, fly through the door and be on your way home," he instructed.  " AND NO RACIN'!  I don't need anyone with broken wings, on my paws," he muttered.

Once the last fairy had disappeared through the door, Seville shut it tightly.  Not wanting to take any chances of another fairy infestation, he broke off the sheath of his longest claw, and jammed it into the lock.  "There, that should do it.  No way, no how, is this door gettin' opened again.  One fairy infestation is enough for this cat's nine lifetimes, for sure.  MOUSES!"

Returning to the sunroom door, Seville pounded on it.  "You can let me out of here now, Mason!" he cried.

"Are you sure those fairies are all gone?"

Seville looked about.  "Yup, every single one of 'em.  They're probably back in Ireland by now."

Mason opened the door for Seville.  "That's good.  They'll be back in time for St. Patrick's Day, too.  All's well that ends well, right?" and she patted her brother on his back.  "You did good work today, Seville"

"I'm just glad it's all over," Seville sighed.  "MOUSES!"

*******************************************************

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

purrs

finders keepers... maybe

"Two hundred and nine, two hundred and ten, two hundred and eleven..."

Creeping up behind Seville, Mason leaned over her brother's shoulder to ask, "What are you doing?"

"I'm just...  Awww... MOUSES!  You made me lose count, Mason. One, two, three..."

"Lose count of what? What are those things? They look like gold coins."

"That's 'cause they are gold coins," Seville explained, excitedly.  "Darn it.  I've lost count again.  One, two, three..."

Mason chuckled while turning to leave.  "Gold coins.  What will he think of next?"

"But they ARE gold coins," declared Seville, standing up on all four paws.  He gently bit down on one of the coins and held it out for his sister to see.  "Look, my fangs made marks.  That means it's real gold, for sure.  MOUSES!"

"Let me see that," and Mason grabbed the coin out of Seville's paw.  "Oh my mouses, Sivvers.  It is real.  Where the heck did you find a stash of gold coins?  Have you been holding out on us regarding those nip futures or something?"

"Nope," Seville replied smugly.  "Come on, guess again.  Bet you can't!"

"You haven't...  You haven't...  You haven't gone into business with the Weasel Syndicate, have you?" Mason asked hesitantly.  "I know they're constantly offering get-rich schemes, full of promise and everything, but the weasels are really nasty little varmints, Seville."

"Me doing business with weasels?  NEVER.  Have a little faith in your brother, Mason.  Besides, I learned my lesson 'bout working with them last time.  MOUSES!"

"Then where did you...?"

"I found the whole lot of these coins out in the backyard this morning," and Seville grinned from ear to ear, making himself look like the Cheshire Cat.  "There there were, sitting in a pot, waiting for me to find them."

"In our backyard?" Mason asked incredulously.

"Yup, right there at the end of the rainbow.  If you remember, it was raining this morning and then the sun came out and then there was a rainbow.  I was super lucky to discover that its end was right here in our backyard.  Very fortuitous, indeed."

"Fortui...?"

"It means," Seville began to explain.

"I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.  Just didn't know you knew what it meant, is all.  Besides, I'm not entirely sure that that is how you should describe it.  Fortuitous, I mean."

"Mason, I have no idea what you're talking about.  All I know for sure is that I need to count up these coins and that once again, I've lost my place.  One, two, three..."

"Seville, did you ever wonder how that pot of gold came to be in our backyard?"

"Nope," Seville answered.  "I did tell you 'bout the rainbow, right?  Mason, it's a well-known fact that pots of gold can be found at the ends of rainbows.  Didn't you learn anything in school?"

Mason bit her lip, resisting the urge to smack her brother upside of the head.  "Seville, I think that maybe that pot of gold might belong to someone.  Pots of gold don't just materialize at the ends of rainbows."

"Actually, they do," explained Seville.  "At least I think they do.  They must.  How else did this particular pot of gold end up at the end of one in our backyard?  Mason, do I have to explain everything to you?"

"But," began Mason.  "But what if this particular pot of gold did belong to someone?"

"Finders keepers, Mason.  It's the law of the jungle, you know.  The fact that we don't actually live in a jungle is irrelevant.  Fact is, I found the gold and the gold, therefore, is mine.  MOUSES!"

"Or perhaps it is his," and Mason pointed to a face peering in through a window.

The two cats stood motionless, staring at the face in the window.  The face in the window stared right back at the two cats before gazing down at the pot of gold coins sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor.

"Ummm..."  murmured Mason.

"Oh boy," whispered Seville.

"Uh...  Um..." Mason stammered.

"That there is a leprechaun," Seville stated in a very low voice.

"A very angry leprechaun, by the looks of it," added Mason.

"An EXTREMELY angry leprechaun who is looking for the marmalade cat who stole his pot of gold," yelled the leprechaun as he opened the back door and marched into the kitchen.

"Excuse me, Mr. Leprechaun sir, but uh...  But I'd just like to point out that although I do have a few hints of ginger in my fur, here and there, technically I'm cream.  Seville's the marmalade cat around here," and Mason pointed a paw at her brother.

"Way to go, sis," Seville hissed under his breath.  "Thanks for having my back."

The leprechaun glared at Seville with beady eyes.  "Exactly what do you think you're doing with my pot of gold there, you orange ball of fur."

"I was uh...  I was um..."  Seville swallowed, hard.  "I was...  I was merely counting the coins... Making sure they were all still...  Ummm...  You know, keeping them in safe keeping for you, for your return."

"What happened to finders keepers?" Mason whispered into Seville's ear.

"Finders keepers applies to peeps, other cats and weasels," Seville hissed.  "Leprechauns are a whole different kettle of fish."

"Mr Leprechaun," Mason coughed nervously but stood up firmly on all four paws.  "It seems to me that we have a bit of a dilemma at paw.  Legend has it that if a cat can catch a leprechaun, said leprechaun has to reveal his pot of gold to said cat.  Now my brother here might actually be the true owner of this pot of gold.  He could make a case that as he found your gold and now we have apparently caught you..."

"He did no such thing!" the leprechaun cried.  "He never caught me.  I only have to reveal my gold if you catch me..."

And with that, Mason swiped at the leprechaun and caught hold of his jacket with a claw.  "Like this?" she asked, holding him up like a cat would hold a rat.

The leprechaun struggled, trying to free himself.

"Not so mean looking now, are you," Mason said and added, "Might I say, you're a very little leprechaun to have such a big pot of gold."

"Let me go!  LET ME GO!" and the leprechaun continued to struggle.

"I think you should let him go," Seville told Mason.  "Look how red his face is getting.  If he was angry before I don't know what he's gonna be..."

"I'll tell you what," and Mason lowered the leprechaun onto the floor, still holding onto him with a claw.  I'll exchange your freedom for your pot of gold."

The leprechaun pursed his lips together.  "The legend says I do have to take you to my gold in exchange for..."

"But we already have your gold," blurted out Seville.  "Got it right here," and he pointed toward the gold.

Narrowing his eyes, the leprechaun said, "But do you have my even bigger pot of gold?  The pot of gold that makes this one look like a mere trifling..."

"You have an even bigger pot of gold?" gasped Seville.  "Mason, do you have any idea how much nip we could get with an even bigger pot of gold?  We could..."

Mason glanced over at Seville, loosening her grasp on the leprechaun for only a moment but a moment was all it took and right before their very eyes, the leprechaun and the pot of gold vanished like magic.

"Awww.... MOUSES!" Seville cried.  Sitting back on his haunches he said, "legend also has it that those little green fairies are slippery and sly.  Was he too slippery to hold onto, Mason?  Is that why you let go?"

"Wrong kind of slippery, Seville," answered his sister.  "Never pays to be too greedy, I suppose."

"Nope, never does," Seville stated.  The corners of his mouth began to curl up into a smile.  "But it does pay to be careless!  Looky here. I happened to be sitting on this coin when the little feller and his gold disappeared."  Seville bit into it.  "Yup, solid gold, for sure.  Nip store here I come!"

"I think you mean here we come," Mason grinned.  "Come on, we can teleport over in a jiffy and get ourselves a whole gold coin's worth of really good nip."

"We sure can," agreed Seville.  "And as luck would have it, we'll get it just in time for St. Patrick's Day, too.  MOUSES!"

catnip and fairy dust

Nissy sauntered into the kitchen to find his brother up on the table.  With a mug of nip beer in one paw, Seville was studying various equations he had written down on his board. Scattered about the room were various books, pencils, a calculator and a couple of St. Patrick's Day inspired hats.

"Whatcha up to, bro?" asked Nissy.  "You workin' on some teleportation physics equations or somethin'?"

"Actually, no," answered Seville, sounding somewhat distracted.  "These are chemical equations, Niss."

"Really?"  Nerissa looked at Seville's board and then glanced over at the kitchen counter.  Seville had obviously been using several of the peep's mixing bowls along with a wooden spoon and a couple of spatulas.  Nissy hopped up onto the counter to inspect them and found bits of sticky goop in the bowls and on the counter.  "Looks more like cookin' to me, Sivvers," he said.

"Cooking, chemistry...  All one in the same, Niss."

"Well whether you're cookin' or performin' chemistry experiments, you had best wash this stuff up.  Ol' Peepers is not gonna be pleased when she finds this mess you've made and that's a fact, for sure. She's gonna freak."

 Nissy lifted a paw and sniffed at the green, sticky goop he had accidentally stepped in.  "Hmmm...  Seville, this here goop smells like milk.  Whatcha makin'?"

"Breath mints," answered Seville.  "Feline catnip-flavoured breath mints."

"Interestin'..."  and Nissy sniffed the goop again.  "Nip breath mints for cats.  Seville, you're a genius!  A genius in disguise but a genius nonetheless.  Why didn't I think of this?  And what exactly made you think of inventing 'em?"

"No offence Niss but lately you've had a bad case of tuna breath.  I heard Peep #1 mention it the other day."

"There's NOTHIN' wrong with havin' a little tuna on your breath," exclaimed Nerissa with indignation.  "Nothin' wrong with that at all.  Happens after you eat the tuna."

"Yeah, well it smells fishy to me," exclaimed Seville.

"That's 'cause tuna is fish!  Mouses, Sivvers.  If you're gonna start cookin' and whatnot, you've gotta know your ingredients.  Besides, you like tuna, too."

"But I also like nip," began Seville, "and I'm thinkin' that a catnip-flavoured breath mint is the perfect thing to follow a plate of tuna.  Havin' some issues with the equations though."

"Equations or recipes?" asked Nerissa.

"Same diff, Niss.  Bottom line is, my mints aren't nippy enough.  Do you think you could help me out?"

Nerissa jumped down from the counter.  Heading over to the table where Seville was working on his equations, he stopped dead in his tracks.  There on the floor sat two large clay pots filled with shamrocks.  "Uh Seville, are these what you're using to make your mints?"  Nissy pawed at something flitting about his ear.  It was tickling his whiskers.  Growing annoyed, he pawed at it again.  "And what's this fairy doin' over here?"

"Oh her?  That's Aoife.  She came with the plants."

Nissy rolled his eyes. "Of course she did. Whatever was I thinkin'?  Why else would a little green fairy appear in our kitchen? Silly me..."

"Enough with the chatter, Niss.  I need some help over here.  How can I get more nip in my breath mints?"

"Well for starters," and Niss picked one of the shamrocks from a pot. "These here plants aren't nip.  They're clovers. MOUSES!"

Seville stared at his brother.  "Do you think I don't know that?"  He hopped down onto the floor and padded over to Nerissa and the gigantic clover plants.  "You ever try to order nip plants in March? No one sells them.  Everyone wants to sell you clovers.  Shamrocks this and shamrocks that. Everyone is trying to cash in on the whole St. Patrick's Day experience and there's nothing to be found but clovers!  So I figured I'd order up some gigantic ones and just make do."

Nerissa threw his front paws up in the air.  "But..  Seville...  But..."  He was at a loss for words.

"I know what you're thinking, Niss.  You're thinking, clovers aren't nip."

Nerissa continued to stare at his brother, his eyes growing wider.

"Well you might have a point there but hear me out.  Clovers are green.  Catnip is green.  Clovers are a popular food with cows and cows produce milk and milk contains cream and cats like cream. Plus, with every order of two plants or more, they were throwin' in a free fairy.  You did meet Aoife, right?  She has magical fairy dust," Seville added in a whisper.  "I think that's why these plants have grown so large."

"Well maybe she can use some of that magic fairy dust to turn these shamrock plants into nip!" Nerissa cried.  "For mousin' out loud, Sivvers, these here plants are your whole problem.  You can't make nip mints without the nip.  You need nip!"

Nerissa turned to leave in disgust.  "And I'm takin' back that comment I made about your bein' a genius, Seville," he added.  "Any genius would know that clovers aren't nippy.  MOUSES!"

"And what if I were to tell you that I have some essential nip oil?" Seville cried out.  "Some nip oil to add to my mints."

Nissy swung around.  "Now you're talkin', Sivvers.  That's a totally different story.  You have nip oil?"

"Uh, no," and Seville pawed at a recipe book sitting on the floor.  "I said what if I were to tell you.." his voice trailing off.

Nerissa rolled his eyes and let out a big sigh.  "Okay, Seville.  You are my brother and I do love you so I'll see if we can figure somethin' out.  Maybe you can use the shamrocks to make the base of your mints and then if we can get our paws on some nip oil..."

"I knew you could figure it out, Niss!  I knew that if anyone could, it would be you.  So I have my clover base.  Tastes kinda milky like you noticed.  That's due to the whole clover-cow-cream connection.  Now to add some nippiness to the milky goodness that is the sticky goop."

"Speakin' of that, Sivvers, we need to work on the texture of your mints, too.  I don't think breath mints are supposed to be sticky or goopy.  They're not supposed to stick to your paws when you eat 'em."

"You might have a point there, Niss.  But first things first.  Put on your thinking cap," and Seville handed his brother a leprechaun hat to wear, "and let's get started on making some nip oil.  Do you think we need nip to make that?"

"Yes, Seville, I think we do but perhaps Aoife can help us out with that. You said the fairy was magic? Oh Aoife...  Come on over here.  Let's see if some of that magic fairy dust of yours can turn some vegetable oil into the essence of nip.  Now how do we do this?  Do I need to make a wish?"

And with that, the boys started working on their next great invention, Catnip-Flavoured Breath Mints for cats.

        HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY TO ALL!!

Seville's four-leaved clovers

Nissy softly padded into the kitchen, only to find his brother Seville up on the table, surrounded by a mess of glue, paint, workbooks and other assorted paraphernalia. "Whatcha up to there, Sivvers?" he asked.

"Oh, just super gluing some clovers together."

Only half-listening to his brother, Nissy continued over to the fridge and poured himself a cold mug of nip beer.  "Uh-huh...  I see. WAIT A MINUTE," and he stopped in his tracks.  "Did you say you were super gluing clovers together?"

"Yup.  Not working out all that well, though.  They keep fallin' apart.  Plus, I think I accidentally super glued some stuff together I didn't actually mean to super glue together.  FYI, don't sit in that chair over there," and Seville pointed to one of the kitchen chairs with his tail.  "And I wouldn't jump onto the stool, either."

"MOUSES!  Why on earth are you super gluing together clovers?" Nissy questioned.

"Well, I tried hot gluing them together but the glue kept melting the leaves," answered Seville.

Nissy shook his head furiously.  "Not what I meant, Sivvers.  Perhaps I didn't word that well.  I wanted to ask, why on earth are you workin' with the clovers in the first place?"

"Peep #1 said she'd really like to find a four-leaved clover 'cause they're supposed to be lucky and I thought I would give her one for St. Patrick's Day, tomorrow."

"Hmmm..." Nissy pondered.  "I think they're only lucky if they grow that way naturally.  I'm not sure that the luck sticks if they're glued together."  He picked up one of Seville's supposed four-leaved clovers and a leaf fell off.  "Apparently your glue isn't stickin', either.  I thought super glue stuck to everything.  That's why Ol' Peepers is always tellin' us cats to keep away from it.  You know...  in case it sticks to our fur."

"Oh, it sticks to fur, all right," confirmed Seville.  "I now have a green permanent marker permanently stuck to my...  my...  my ummm...."

Nerissa noticed the marker and exclaimed, "You sat on it?"

"Yeah...  I spilled some glue on the marker and the rest is history."

"MOUSES!  Seville, Ol' Peepers is gonna be furious when she sees this mess."  Nerissa took a sip of his nip beer.  "And may I ask why there's an open time vortex in our kitchen?  You been messin' with whisks again?"

Seville glanced over at the vortex.  "Oh...  that.  I needed some clovers for my work and, in case you hadn't noticed, there's still snow on the ground outside.  Needed to make a quick trip to July to pick up a supply of the stuff."

"Makes sense, I suppose," and Nissy nodded in agreement.  "But how come the vortex is still open?"

"I might have accidentally glued it open.  I didn't realise I had spilled super glue on that whisk..." and Seville looked away, somewhat shamefully. "Not quite sure how to fix that yet."

"MOUSES!" Nissy cried.  "The peep is gonna explode when she finds out we've got a permanently open time vortex in the kitchen.  You're gonna have to find a way to close that before she sees it."

"I was sort of hoping she wouldn't notice," explained Seville.  "And if I can just get these clover leaves to stick together, maybe even if she does notice, she'll be so happy about the lucky clovers that she won't freak out too much about the vortex."

"I've got a better idea, Sivvers.  Why don't we just teleport on over to the Emerald Isle..."

"And run away before the peep finds out about the permanently open time vortex in the kitchen?" Seville interrupted.

"No," and Nissy looked pointedly at his brother.  "I was gonna suggest that we teleport on over and grab some REAL four-leaved clovers.  Ones that might actually be lucky.  I've heard that leprechauns grow them by the millions.  Shouldn't be too difficult to find a few there."

"I don't know," Seville hesitated.  "The peep said we weren't to do any more teleporting after the trouble we caused in Ottawa at the Worldwide Weather Offices, Forecasting and Control, Canadian Division."

"Seville, you've permanently glued open a time vortex in our kitchen!" and Nissy slapped a paw on the table.  "A little teleporting is nothin' compared to that.  Trust me.  SIVVERS, PREPARE THE TELEPORTATION DEVICE."

Moments later, the two cats were hurtling through space and time on their way to a heavily leprechaun-infested area of Ireland.  Thinking ahead, Nissy grabbed some gold coins to cover any tariffs the leprechauns might demand as he was well aware that leprechauns are notoriously anti free trade.

After a surprisingly smooth landing, Nissy and Seville hopped out of the frying pan teleporter and onto a lawn of lush green grass.  Seville nosed about in the grass hoping to find a clover or two but, unfortunately, he found nothing but grass.  Nerissa grabbed a paw full of the stuff and started chewing. "That last mug of nip beer gave me the munchies," he explained to his brother.

"Where do we find the clover?" Seville asked.

"Let's ask around in that pub over there," suggested Nissy.  "Someone is bound to know about the clover farms, there."

The two cats approached the pub with trepidation.  Talking about leprechauns was one thing. Talking about meeting leprechauns was another.  Actually meeting a leprechaun was something neither Nissy nor Seville had ever done before and the thought was making the pads of Nissy's paws sweat.

The pub door closed behind them.  "Perfectly normal pub," Nissy muttered sarcastically.  He glanced around, seeing groups of leprechauns gathered here and there, sipping beer and doing jigs.

A fairy darted past Nissy's head, sprinkling fairy dust over him.  "Hey!  Watch it with that stuff," and Nissy shook himself violently while Seville took a swipe at the fairy, narrowly missing a wing. "Don't annoy the fairies, Sivvers," Nerissa told his brother.  "Not a good idea."

Nerissa boldly walked up to the bar and ordered two nip beers.  Paying for the beer with a gold coin, he asked in a low voice, "We're looking for four-leaved clovers.  Anyone here who might be able to help us out?"

The fairy was back, hovering by Nissy's ear.  "I can take you to a clover farm, if you like.  But you'll have to tell the orange cat to keep his claws to himself."

"Deal!" squealed Nissy with delight. "Hear that, Sivvers?  We'll get you those clovers in no time."  Turning back to the fairy, Nissy quickly explained the situation and why the cats were in dire need of the four-leaved clovers.

Suddenly and out of nowhere, a vortex of some sort opened in the corner of the room.  "The clover field managed my Sean and Seamus O'Reilly is on the other side," explained the fairy.  "Follow me."

"How did you do that?" asked Nissy, suspiciously.  "How did you open a vortex without an egg beater or whisk in sight?"

"They use magic," hissed a nearby leprechaun.  "Don't question their means.  Just do what she says and you'll be fine."

Nissy briefly wondered if the vortex was some sort of trick but desperate times called for desperate measures and the cats were pretty desperate for a paw full of four-leaved clovers.  He watched the fairy disappear into the vortex, grabbed Seville by the tail and together, they followed her through.

The other side of the vortex proved to be a beautiful, sunny lawn.  Small white, daisy-like flowers were growing here and there and although quite pretty, there wasn't a farm in sight.  Nissy questioned the fairy about the clover farm.

"Take a closer look at the grass," the fairy suggested.  "You'll find what you're looking for, there."

The boys nosed about in the grass and, sure enough, there were clovers everywhere.  The lawn was the farm, Nissy realised and what a clover farm it was.  A very high percentage of the clovers growing there were of the four-leaved variety.

"Fill your boots!" Nissy exclaimed to his brother.  "Start pickin' clover."

"But I don't have any boots," Seville sadly replied.  "I never wear the things."

"It's just an expression, Sivvers.  Oohhh...  but you can fill that hat with clover.  Just pick the four-leaved ones and put 'em in your hat for transport.  You start picking and I'll go make a deal with those two approaching leprechauns.  They must be the O'Reilly brothers."

Nissy worked out a deal to trade the gold coins he and Seville had brought with them for two hats worth of four-leaved clovers.  The fairy acted as a witness to the deal, making sure everything was in order.  Nerissa headed back to Seville and grabbed a paw full of grass to munch upon while his brother finished collecting the required clovers.

"Isn't this a whole lot easier than workin' with super glue?" Nissy asked Seville.

"Much easier," Seville answered with a smile.  "Especially for you," and he looked over at Nerissa preparing to take a nap on the sunny lawn while he continued searching for clovers sporting four leaves.

A short while later, the boys had all the four-leaved clovers they could possibly want and the fairy offered to escort them back through the vortex so that they could retrieve their teleportation device and return home.  They left Sean and Seamus behind, happily dancing jigs and counting gold coins.

"Never caught your name," Nissy said to the fairy.  "What did you say it was?"

"I didn't," replied the fairy with a smile.  "A fairy very rarely reveals her name," and with that, she disappeared, leaving behind a cloud of sparkling dust.

"MOUSES!" Nissy cried.  "She's gone and I was just about to ask her if she knew how to close that open time vortex in our kitchen.  Oh well, you'll have to figure out that one, Sivvers, but I'll help you clean up the mess with the glue when we get back home."

"Thanks, Nissy.  I'd appreciate that. Maybe you can help me get rid of this marker glued to my butt, too.  I just know the peep is gonna notice that and know I was workin' with super glue."

"That one is on you, Sivvers...   literally.  But I will help you clean up the rest of the mess.  Consider it my St. Patrick's Day gift to you."

The two cats climbed back into their teleportation device for the trip home and as they soared over the Emerald Isle they cried out, "HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!" to everyone in sight.