reindeer dust

"Hey Mason, whatcha got there?  Somethin' interestin'?  Anythin' involvin' the nip?"

"You tell me, Seville.  It's a letter addressed to you. Well it's a scroll, actually. I found it lying here in front of the fireplace.  I think it came down the chimney."

"You're kiddin'!"  Seville padded across the family room floor and gave the rolled up piece of paper a good sniff.  It smelled old and musty with a faint, underlying aroma of sugar cookies.

And Mason was right about the scroll being for him, for Seville the Cat was written across it in black lettering.  "And you say it came down the chimney?  Never knew Canada Post started deliverin' mail that way.  Never knew they were deliverin' scrolls now at all!  MOUSES!"

"Why don't you open it up and see who sent it?" Mason suggested.  "It might be important."

Seville unrolled the scroll very gingerly, as it looked so old, he thought it might disintegrate if handled roughly.  "Hmmm..."

Dear Seville the Cat.  Emergency situation at North Pole.  We need your help.  Please come straight away.  Love, Santa.

"Oh my mouses, Mason!  This here letter is from Santa Claus, himself.  At least I think it's from Santa Claus.  You know of any other guys goin' by the name of Santa, these days?"

Mason rolled her eyes.  "I think it's safe to assume it's from the Big Guy in Red, all right.  And by the sound of it, he's in trouble.  Shall I prepare the teleportation device for two?"  And before Seville could argue about it, she added, "I'm going with you.  In an emergency situation, eight paws are better than four."

"Fine," Seville sighed loudly.  "You can come along.  MASON, PREPARE THE TELEPORTATION DEVICE.  I'll go pack up some snacks.  The North Pole is a fair distance away and one should never teleport snackless.  MOUSES!"

The two cats busied themselves getting ready for their trip up north, and within minutes, they were soaring across the Atlantic provinces in a north-westerly direction, heading straight for the pole.

"Shoulda brought a scarf or somethin', I think," Seville shivered.

"Shoulda coulda woulda," muttered Mason.  "Next time, perhaps you'll think of bringing that instead of all these snacks."

"Wanna freeze-dried salmon treat?" Seville offered.

"Don't mind if I do," and Mason popped one into her mouth before reaching for a second.

"There it is!" Seville cried as he spotted Santa's workshop down below.  "I'll bring us down next to the reindeer barn."

"HOLD ON TIGHT!  THERE'S AN UPDRAFT OR SOMETHIN' GOIN' ON HERE," Seville hollered. "By gosh and by golly, between all the radioactive reindeer dust and Santa's magic flyin' around, weather patterns at the North Pole create a mousin' lot of turbulence.  Landin' can be dicey at best. We'll be lucky if I can land this here flyin' fryin' pan within..."

SPLAT!

The cats' teleportation device hit the snow with a thump, but their velocity was so great, they slid several meters, picking up speed on an icy patch.  Seville hoped the snowbank up ahead would bring them to a stop but instead, the frying pan glided up its side, and before they knew it, they were airborne once again.

"MASON!  WE'VE GOT RADIOACTIVE REINDEER DUST IN THE FORWARD EGGBEATER.    BRUSH SOME OF IT OFF SO I CAN LAND THIS THING!!!"

"THE DUST HAS FROZEN ONTO THE BEATER, SEVILLE.  I CAN'T BRUSH IT OFF!"

"MASON, TAKE THE CONTROLS!  KEEP 'ER STEADY.  I'LL GET RID OF THAT DUST.  I KNOW JUST WHAT TO DO."

Mason managed to circle back once Seville had dealt with the frozen radioactive dust.  "How did you get rid of it?" she queried.

"Did what I had to do," Seville answered smugly.  "Good thing I'm a good aim when I spray."

"Ewww..."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah...  Least we can land this thing now.  Let me at those controls."


Santa's magic was still creating a lot of turbulence, and Seville had a hard time keeping the teleportation device steady.  It veered unexpectedly to the right, and then swung back, hard.

Thump.  THUMP. THUMP.

"We're down.  We've landed.  Whew!  That there was a close one, for sure," Seville sighed with relief.

Mason peered over the edge of the device.  "Uh, Seville.  You landed on top of the barn."

"I did?  Oh.  Well uh...  Um...  Least I landed somewhere!  No matter.  Santa lands on top of roofs all the time.  It's kinda his thing."

"But you're not Santa Claus!" Mason cried, flinging her paws up in the air.

"No, he is!" and Seville smiled as he saw Santa approaching.  "Come on Mason.  Let's go ask him why we were summoned."

Seville jumped down from the barn roof, onto the snow below, with Mason at his heels.

"Are you sure?  Are you SURE?" Seville asked Santa.

"I'm as sure as sure can be, little guy."  Santa scratched behind one ear.  "And for the life of me, I can't figure out what to do about it.  Nor can Mrs. Claus.  You're our last hope, Seville.  And if you and your sister can't find an answer, there will be no Christmas for all the little boys and girls around the world."

"Not to mention the cats," Seville murmured under his breath.

"Or the cats, either," Santa nodded.

"But are you absolutely sure Rudolf even has the cold?" Mason asked.  "I know his nose is all red and puffy but doesn't it always look like that?

"Yeah," piped up Seville. "How is Rudolf's nose different from any other time?"

As if in answer, Rudolf sneezed, spraying radioactive reindeer dust all over Seville.

"YUCK!  Okay, okay, I get the picture.  You don't have to sneeze on me twice!  Rudolf, you've got a nasty cold, for sure."  Seville patted the reindeer on his back.  "It's okay there, little buddy.  Mason and I will figure somethin' out.  We'll have you flyin' again, in no time."

                                                 ********************************

Be sure to return on Christmas Day for the conclusion of our 2016 Christmas adventure!

the mysterious Christmas ornament

Seville sat back on his haunches and gazed up at the Christmas tree. "Lovely," he purred. "Peeps really outdid themselves this year. Everything's all pretty and sparkly.  Bet Santa's gonna be really pleased when he stops by on Christmas Eve."

"Oohhh...  That one's new," and the cat approached the tree. "I've never seen that ornament before.  Wonder where it came from."  He examined the glass ball hanging from a bottom branch.  "Just look at that.  Someone managed to create an entire little snow scene in there.  Amazing detail.  And it even has sound effects.  Is that wind I hear howling from inside?"

"Hey Mason!" and Seville cried out to his sister.  "Come see this new ornament the peeps put on the tree.  You know where it came from?"

Mason padded across the room.  "No, I've never seen that one before," she told Seville.  "The peeps must have bought it this year.  Kind of pretty."

"It sure is," Seville agreed.  "It looks so real.  OH MY MOUSES!" and Seville jumped backwards. "Mason, I touched it with my nose and it's freezing cold.  You try."

Mason reached out a paw to touch the ornament lightly.  There was a spark of light and she, too, jumped backwards.

"What the mouses is going on?" asked Seville.  "This needs investigating, to be sure."

Once again, Seville sniffed at the glass ball hanging from the tree.  His nose grew cold.  The ornament appeared to be enveloped by a pocket of frigid air.  Very gingerly, he touched the surface of the ball, fighting the urge to draw back from the cold.  Coloured lights began to flash about him and he felt a cold, icy wind ruffling his fur.  "Mason..." he cried and felt his sister tugging on his tail.

"Sivvers!" Mason yelled.  "Sivvers, come back here!  SIVVERS..."

Seville somersaulted forward.  Over and over he went until eventually, he landed in a pile of snow. "MOUSES!"  Chewing on his lower lip he muttered, "Fine mess I've gotten myself into this time."

"Fine mess you've gotten us into," Mason fumed, spitting some loose snow out of her mouth.  "Why did you have to go and get us sucked up into that glass ornament?"

"Is that what happened?" questioned Seville, scratching the back of his head.  "Never knew an ornament could do that kind of thing.  Where do you suppose we are?"

Mason pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes.  "Where we are, is inside that darned glass ornament.  A better question would be how are we going to get out.  MOUSES!"

"That's my line," Seville pointed out to his sister but seeing the look on her face he added, "Uh, never mind."

The two cats decided to head towards a building they could see off in the distance.  The temperature was dropping quickly and the wind had picked up, whipping snow about them and creating almost blizzard-like conditions.  "Gotta keep going,  gotta keep going," they chanted.  They both knew that staying out in the cold wasn't an option.  A cat could freeze being exposed to such winter temperatures.

Almost at the building, they could see it was some sort of barn.  A bright light shone from within, assuring them it was occupied. Mason and Seville picked up their pace, desperate to get out of the cold.  Seville pulled open the door and they both dashed inside.

"You heard me!" a young reindeer cried with relief. "Thank goodness you've come to my rescue."

"Your rescue?" asked Seville. "Wait a minute... Wait a cotton picking moused-up minute...  I know you.  You're Rudolf!  MOUSES!  What on earth are you doing here?"

"I'll explain while you untie me," answered Rudolf.  "Please hurry before they return."

After listening to the reindeer's tale, Mason spoke up first.  "So you're saying that evil snowmen captured you and locked you up in this barn?" she asked skeptically.  "It sounds kind of far-fetched, Rudolf.  Are you sure you haven't been indulging in the eggnog or nip or whatever it is that reindeer like?"

But before Rudolf could deny Mason's accusations, the door to the barn opened and a gust of wind sent snow spiralling throughout the building.  There, standing inside the door were two snowmen, one of whom let out an evil laugh.  "Another two captives.  Wonderful!" the other cried.

"Oh no!" Rudolf wailed.  "Now I'll never get back to the North Pole in time for Christmas.  What will Santa do?"

Having had the chance to warm up a bit, Mason pulled herself together to demand some answers from the snowmen.  "Why did you kidnap Rudolf and hold him captive?" she queried.

"Wouldn't you like to know," one of the snowmen answered in a sinister voice.

"Well as a matter of fact, I would," Mason replied.

"And I would, too," added Seville.  "And a word to the wise, if I may.  You really don't wanna get my sister angry.  She can have a bit of a temper, you know.  She's super smart, too.  Not a great combo to be on the wrong side of, if you know what I mean."

One of the snowmen bent over, peering closely at Seville.  "Are you threatening us, little cat?  I don't think you're in a position to threaten either one of us."

"Well then," and Mason tried again, using a different tact.  "As you're clearly in charge here, I'm sure  you won't mind explaining why you kidnapped our friend, Rudolf."

"Because," the smaller of the two snowmen sneered, "we're sick and tired of hearing how much everyone loves Santa and his reindeer, not to mention those pesky little green elves.  Santa this, Santa that.  To hear them, you'd think he was the most wonderful thing on earth.  No one ever talks about us snowmen like that."

"Ummm...  the elves aren't actually green," piped up Seville.  "They merely wear green clo..."  Mason cut Seville off with a thwack of her tail to the back of his head.

"What my brother is trying to say is... Well...  Well never mind what he's trying to say.  It's not important.  What is important is that Rudolf has a very important job to do on Christmas Eve and he can't do it if he's being held hostage by the two of you.  You have to let him go.  And us, too," she added hastily.

"Ha!" the snowmen both cried.  "You're not going anywhere until after Christmas.  When Santa doesn't deliver any toys to any of the little girls and boys, they'll start seeing that old man in red in a very different light."


Rudolf stood to his full height.  "Oh yeah?  Well Santa will show you. Even without my help to guide him, he'll still get those presents delivered."

"It'll never happen," the smaller snowman sneered.  "Didn't you hear?  There's going to be a terrible blizzard on Christmas Eve.  Without you, he'll never find his way."

The two cats and Rudolf stood there, not knowing what to say.  Seville gathered his thoughts, first.  "You're just a couple of big ol' meanies," he declared.  "Is that why you hate Santa so much?  Were you always on the naughty list and never got any presents?  Because you know, acting like you're acting right now would get you on Santa's naughty list, for sure.  I mean..."

"QUIET!" one snowmen yelled.  "You'll be quiet if you know what's good for you, cat.  Keep on talking like that and we'll never let you go.  Not even after Christmas is past," he smirked.

"I've heard enough," declared Mason.  "Seville, you know what you need to do."

"I do?"

"You do."

"No, seriously Mason," and Seville whispered in his sister's ear.  "I don't think I do.  Can you give me a hint or something."

"Oh for crying out loud," and Mason flung her front paws up into the air.  "Don't you remember what happened to that snowman you and Nissy made a couple of years ago?  You know the one.  After you made it, you boys thought you'd mark it as your own and..."

"Oh yeah," and Seville grinned broadly.  "I remember now," and turning, he lifted his tail and began to spray.

"NNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" the snowmen cried in unison but the more Seville sprayed, the fainter their cries became until eventually, there was nothing left but two yellow puddles on the barn floor.

"Great work!" and Mason slapped her brother on his back.

"But we still need to get out of here," said Rudolf.  "I need to get back to the North Pole before it's too late."

"I have an idea," and Seville opened the barn door wide.  Turning his back to the blistery weather outside and lifting his tail, once again, Seville began to spray.

The three friends heard crackling sounds.  They were fairly faint at first but then became louder and louder until with one final deafening crack, the cats and Rudolf tumbled through the snow and out of the broken glass ball, landing on the cats' living room floor.

"MOUSES!" cried Seville.

"Mouses, indeed," agreed Rudolf and drawing to his feet, he shook off some snow from his back. "Sorry about the snowy mess," he apologized, "but I've really got to go. Santa will be waiting for me."

"Of course," answered Seville.  "You had better fly back, right away. Mason and I will clean up this mess before the peeps see it.  Promise."

Rudolf trotted to the front door but before flying off, he turned to face the two cats once more.  "Thank you for coming to my rescue, you two.  I'll be sure to let Santa know and, I suspect, you'll find extra nip in your stockings this year."

Mason and Seville watched as Rudolf took flight and waving to him off in the distance they whispered, "Merry Christmas Rudolf.  Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night."

up on the rooftop

Kinkamarinky-dinky-dink-a-shinnamasinky-cowinky-dink.

Oh yeah, I've got some red spell check squiggles there, for sure.  MOUSES!

It's just a made-up word.  I think.

Nissy used to make up words all the time. Some of his made-up words are classics like, you know...  MOUSES!  Yup, Nissy had the gift.

Anyway, let me tell you about the kink. The kink in the hose.  The kink in the kink-proof hose.  MOUSES!

Peep #1 has had to replace a few garden hoses in the last couple of years.  One got left out all winter and winter was not kind to it at all.  Another one just got old and split a gasket.  No, that's not right.  It actually blew its top.  It's true.  The end with the metal part that connected it to other hoses and sprinklers and stuff just blew right off and water started spewing all over the place everywhere,  Everywhere except where it was supposed to be spewing, that is.

Oh yeah, and then there was the hose that...  Never mind.  We don't need to talk about that one. Let me just say that the claw marks were not mine.   MOUSES!

Bottom line is, the garden hoses needed replacing.

So last year, the peep decided to start replacing them with those kink-proof hoses.  Have you ever heard of those?  They're supposed to never kink.

I don't know who dreamt up that little marketing scheme but let me tell you, he or she should first have actually invented a kink-proof hose before going around, selling them.  MOUSES!

Let's just say...  THEY KINK.

Have you ever watched a peep struggling with a garden hose that's kinking up all over the place?  I have.  Good times, for sure.

Actually, I was wondering if I would see the peep going through the garden hose hijinks this year. For two or three weeks, she carted watering can after watering can all over the garden.  I thought that maybe she had surrendered to the kink-proof hose that kinks even though it's kink-proof and given up the battle.  Turned out she was just being lazy.

Apparently, Peep #1 thought it would be easier to make a million and one trips back and forth with the watering can than to make one trip hauling the garden hose out of the garage.  Silly peep.

Eventually she figured out that it was actually easier to deal with the hose, once, than the watering can a million and one times so after a couple evenings of the watering can relays, she hauled out the hose. That's when I got to see her in action.  She was half dragging it, half carrying it, half tripping...  Scratch that.  She was one third dragging it, one third carrying it, one third tripping over it and stumbling all over the place but eventually, she managed to get the first garden hose out of the garage.

The other two are still in there.  MOUSES!

Watering can relays are still taking place however their track has been somewhat shortened.

You'd think that she would figure out that it's easier to haul out a second hose than to fill up hundreds upon hundreds of watering cans that need to be lugged way over to the far end of the garden even if she is now lugging them only half the distance.  Sometimes I wonder about that peep.  MOUSES!

And you know, some of the plants over to where she's lugging those watering cans are getting really thirsty.  It was 28C today which is pretty hot.  Too hot for thirsty plants and way too hot for lugging cans full of water.  MOUSES!

Weatherpeeps said that it was 28C but felt more like 33C.  Humidex, they call that, I think.

Most people check out the weather forecast to find out about the humidity but I just look at the peep.  I always know when it's humid outside on account of Peep #1's hair.  If there are any stray little hairs around her hairline, they get all curly when it's humid.  Well some say curls.  Others might say frizz.  But it only happens when it's humid.  Yesterday her hair was straight but today... BOINNNGGGGG!!!!!

My fur doesn't do that and thank goodness for that.  MOUSES!

But did you hear what happened to me the other night?   Has nothing to do with garden hoses or humidity but is very important, nonetheless.  Very important as what it does have to do with is me. MOUSES!

The other night, I got stuck up on the roof!  It's true.  I was up there on the roof of the house and the peep was down on the ground calling and calling and calling my name.  She called me for goodness knows how long.  It seemed like forever.  An eternity!  Maybe ten minutes or so.

I was answering her but not very loudly and the peepers were out in full force so the peep couldn't hear my pitiful cries above the noise those peepers were making.  Then their throats must have gotten hoarse or something or maybe they just decided to take a coffee break because after the longest of times, they paused their peeper cries and Peep #1 finally heard me.

I should just clarify that peepers are not the same thing as peeps.  Just saying...

Anyway, the peep thought she heard me and she thought my soft cries were coming from the roof but she couldn't see me as it was dark.  So she ran inside the house to get a flashlight and when she returned, she shone said flashlight way, way up and lo and behold, there I was.  Then she made some stupid joke about Christmas in July being in May this year and my being up on the rooftop. There were no reindeer present.  Too bad, had Rudolf been around, the peep could have had him shine his nose up at me instead of going in to fetch that flashlight.  MOUSES!

Luckily, the peep and I have done this before.  She went inside and opened the upstairs bathroom window at the back of the house.  It's a small window but an okay size for a cat to get through. Even a marmie cat like me.  A peep wouldn't fit through it.  Peepers might though.

So the peep shone the flashlight up into the air and waved it about while calling my name.  I headed up and over the roof of the house and round to the back and climbed inside.  Got some cuddles for that.  Couple kisses, too.  MOUSES!

Now last night, Rushton was out late and the peep was walking around on the driveway at midnight, in her nightdress, calling and calling his name. Talk about a peep show!  Did that for ages and ages but Rushy wasn't answering.  Peep #1 wondered if perhaps he had managed to get himself stuck up on the roof just as I had, the night before, so she came inside for a flashlight but before heading back out, she quickly checked upstairs.  Turned out he had been inside all along.  Yup, sound asleep on a bedroom floor. MOUSES!

Tonight it will be Anderson's turn to make some mischief.  I wonder what he has planned.  I shall blog about it if it's funny, for sure.  MOUSES!