purrsonal day

Hey Peepers!

Peepers?

PEEPERS!

Oh good, I've got your attention.

FINALLY.

MOUSES!

Peepers, just to let you know, I'm takin' a PURRsonal day today.  Okay?

Okay.

MOUSES!

That ever happen to you, my friends?  That ever happen to you?  You ever wake up one mornin' and just feel like lazin' about and doin' pretty much nothin'?  Maybe have a nap for a bit, and then get up for a stretch.  Then back to your nap.

Oh sure, you might also wanna fit in a few treat breaks, here and there, but that kinda goes without sayin'.

Life without treats is treatless, they say.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

THEY DO TOO SAY THAT.

Well, I said it, at least.

So it was said.

Fact.

MOUSES!

But like I was sayin' before bein' so rudely interrupted...

Oh my mouses, I just thought of somethin' super duper funny: Peepus interruptis.

I LOVE IT!

Yup, that's what I'll call her from now on.  She's a Peepus interruptis, for sure.

MOUSES!

But back to the topic at paw.  I was talkin' about my day, today, and askin' if you had ever had one of those days when you just wanted to laze about and nap and snack and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

I see she's livin' up to her new name, to be sure.

MOUSES!

Well what the mousie mousin' mouses is THAT supposed to mean?  Is that some kinda stupid joke you're tryin' to make?  'Cause let me tell you somethin', ol' peep of mine: JOKES ARE SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY.

Not all rude and ridiculous like what you just said.

Get this.  Ol' Peepers here says that a nappin', snackin', lazin'-about day is not unusual for me.  She SAYS if that's what one calls a purrsonal day, I must take purrsonal days, seven days a week.

How rude.

MOUSES!

Although if I'm gonna be totally honest, I did kinda spend yesterday doin' pretty much that.

And the day before yesterday, too.

And now that I think about it, the day before that, as well.

Hmmm...

Maybe there's a teeny tiny hint of the truth in what the ol' Peepus interruptis is sayin'.

Hmmm...

But then, if I'm gonna think about it a bit more, I have to realise that...

Well...

Well, I'm a cat.  And nappin', snackin', and lazin' about is kinda what we cats do.

SO WHEN YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT, MY FRIENDS, for a cat, this lazin' about all day long thing is...

Well...

Work.

Well, work for a cat.

And pretty darn nice work, too.  Yup, nice work if you can get it, for sure.

MOUSES!

But all that aside, why should I use up any of my purrsonal days?  I might wanna save those for somethin' special or somethin' like that.  Or...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

What do you MEAN I don't have purrsonal days?  What do you MEAN?

Oh never mind.  Just hold that silly thought of yours, Peepers, 'cause I'm in a hurry to get back to work.

Yeah, that's right, Peepers.  That's right.  You heard what I said.  I, Seville the Cat, am headin' back to work.

In other words, it's time for another nap.

Third one this mornin', too.  Whew this work thing is exhaustin', for sure.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

struttin' his stuff

I swear that ol' brother of mine, Saffy Saffron Sassifras, is out there stuttin' his stuff.  Yup, he's struttin' his stuff for all the world to see.

Or at least anyone who happens to be lookin'.

MOUSES!

Now before anyone gets any ideas, yes, my brother has already been neutered.  It's not that kinda stuff he is struttin'.

Get your mind outta the gutter, would ya?

MOUSES!

But neutered or not, he's out there in the backyard, right now, walkin' about this way and that, head held high and tail straight up in the air.  And his walk is more of a...

Well...

An arrogant gait

Yup, he's most definitely struttin'.

MOUSES!

And get this.  Peepers tapped on the window to get his attention and do you know what he did?

Well, DO you?

Well I'll TELL you what he did.  NOTHIN'.  That's right, NOTHIN'!  He just kept on struttin', totally ignorin' the peep's tappin'.

Can you believe it?

MOUSES!

So why-oh-why is that brother of mine out there struttin', you ask?

Some fool - aka Peepers - told him he was walkin' on water.  And now he thinks he's all special and stuff.

HEY SAFFRON!  WHEN THE WATER HAS FROZEN INTO AN ICY LAYER ON TOP OF A FOOT OR MORE OF SNOW, YOUR WALKIN' ON IT DOESN'T COUNT AS YOUR WALKIN' ON WATER.

MOUSES!

If only you could see him, my friends.  If only you could see him!  Tail still held high.  Chin up in the air, too.  And if I'm not mistaken, he appears to be lookin' down his nose at somethin'.

Or someone.

Or...

Or at ME?

MOUSES!

Nah, that can't be right.  No cat would ever look down their nose at me.  They might look down their nose at peeps, sure, but never at me.

Besides,  LOOKIN' DOWN YOUR NOSE AT OTHERS IS MY JOB, you see.

Some cats can be so arrogant and full of self-importance.

It's pathetic, really.

MOUSES!

HEY PEEPERS!  Those treats you gave me a few minutes ago have gone all stale.  They must have come from the package you opened yesterday.  I, Seville the Cat, am gonna need some that are a bit fresher than that.

And could you please put 'em on a new plate?  I shouldn't have to eat off the same plate, twice.  Even if I didn't actually eat off it the first time.  After all, I AM Seville the Cat.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, if I don't keep after those peeps of mine, they'll try to get away with just about anythin'.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

a rose by any other name

They say that "that which we call a rose, by any other word would smell as sweet."

Or so I've heard.

MOUSES!

But does that mean that a window labelled by any other word would also smell as sweet?

Wait a minute, that doesn't even make sense.  Windows don't usually smell sweet.

Oh sure, sometimes they might smell icky.  You know, if somebody were to come along and pee on the outside of 'em, markin' them in case other cats might happen along, or...  Or somethin' like that.  Then that window would smell super icky, I think.

NOT THAT ANYTHIN' LIKE THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED AT MY HOUSE.

But if it had, icky would be the word I would use, for sure.

MOUSES!

But I think I've somehow wandered off topic.

MOUSES!

Okay, so truth be told, I'm not actually talkin' about roses or sweet smellin' things.  I am, however, talkin' about windows.

MOUSES!

So the other day, Saffron was outside when it was a tad chilly.  Well he was wantin' inside, but no one - I repeat, NO one - was comin' to the door.  Not sure if they forgot about him or maybe...  JUST MAYBE...  Maybe it was 'cause he had been in and out multiple times in the past hour, wantin' back out the moment he had come in, and this last time he had only been outside for about five minutes and the peeps were gettin' tired of playin' doorpersons and whatnot.

Or maybe they just needed to pee.

That can happen, you know.  At least it's happened to me.  All of a sudden, I need to use the litterbox and nothin' - I repeat, NOTHIN' - is gonna get in my way.

Between me and litter box, I mean.

MOUSES!

But back to the topic at paw.  Saffy Saffron Sassifras had been out for three... Maybe four minutes, and was wantin' in, BUT NO ONE was standin' by the door to open it for him.

Lazy, no-good-for-nothin' peeps.

MOUSES!

And the next thing Peepers knew...

The next thing Peepers knew, whilst she was upstairs in the spare bedroom, Saffy had made his way up onto the part of the roof that hangs over the veranda.  And he was most definitely wantin' in.

Again.

MOUSES!

And do you know what that ol' peep of mine did?  DO you?

No, she did not immediately run downstairs to call Saffron and let him in the front door.

The downright cheek of it.

No, instead of runnin' downstairs like a responsible, civilized peep might do, Peepers just opened the window, upstairs.

AND SAFFRON WALKED RIGHT THRU.

So there you have it, my friends: sometimes a window can be used as a door and when it is, said window will smell just as sweet.

As sweet as a door.

If, you know, doors made a habit of bein' sweet smellin'.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

let's talk

Sweaters.  Let's talk sweaters, my friends.  Let's. Talk. Sweaters.

MOUSES!

There are all sorts of sweaters out there, I think.  Pink sweaters, blue sweaters, purple sweaters, cream... 

Cream...

Nothin' beats a good spot of cream.  Mmmm.

But I digress.

MOUSES!

Point is, there are all sorts of colours when it comes to sweaters.

And there are sweaters of all different weights, too.  There are heavy sweaters for cold weather, light sweaters for warm, and a whole whack of different weights of sweaters, for in between.

And then there are sizes.  There are big sweaters.  Like really big sweaters.  Like the kinda sweaters that are meant to be all baggy and whatnot.  Boyfriend sweaters, is what they're sometimes called.  And boy-oh-boy are boyfriend sweaters ever big.

My gosh, a kitty could get lost in one of those.

MOUSES!

And there are not-so-big sweaters, too.  Little sweaters.  Sweaters with short sleeves.  Sweaters with NO sleeves.  And sweaters with short...  Well...  Well, they're just short.  Cropped is what they sometimes say.

MOUSES!

But here's the thing, my dear friends.  Here. Is. The. Thing.  I, Seville the Cat, am not a sweater-wearin' kinda cat.  Nope, I'm not a sweater wearin' kinda cat, at all.  Not big sweaters or heavy sweaters or light ones or small.  I don't wear 'em in summer, or winter, or even the fall.

MOUSES!

Yes, I do know there are cats out there who like wearin' a sweater or two.  Not at the same time, of course, but they might like to have a few options in their closet, dependin' on the weather or their mood.  But like I said, I, Seville the Cat, am NOT one of those cats.  I am not a sweater wearin' kinda guy.

Oh sure, I like sleepin' ON a sweater.

On.  I said, ON.  If Peepers should be so foolish as to leave a sweater lyin' on a bed or a chair, and I should happen to come across it, lyin' there...

Well let's just say, that sweater is gonna be wearin' my furs.

But I am NOT - I repeat, NOT - gonna be wearin' the sweater.

MOUSES!

So you can imagine my distress when I found Peepers knittin' a sweater that looked kinda...

Well...

Are you sittin' down, my friends?  Are you sittin' down before you fall?

That sweater she was knittin' looked cat sized, to me.

MOUSES!

I was in shock, I tell you.  SHOCK!  I thought to myself, that ol' peep of mine is thinkin' she's gonna put that sweater on me.

AND I WAS HAVIN' NONE OF THAT.

So I volunteered Saffron.

What else would a smart kitty do?

MOUSES!

But as it turned out, it was just one of those shorter, cropped kinda sweaters she was makin', and not meant for a cat, at all.

But it sure did feel like a really close call.

'Cause like I said, I, Seville the Cat, am NOT a sweater-wearin' kinda guy.  Doesn't matter how cold it might be, I prefer to go nekkid.

MOUSES!

And if my paws should happen to get chilly whilst outdoors, I can always come inside and warm 'em up on the peep.  You should hear how she squeals with delight when I do that sorta thing.

Delight...  Pain and hock...  Whatever.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

roses are red

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  This catnip is glorious but sorry, there's none left for you.

Hmmm...

For a Valentine's Day poem, that has potential, for sure.

MOUSES!

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I do love you, truly.  Some other kitty pooped in your shoe.

Hmmm...

I'm not sure about that one.  Kinda gives her a heads up 'bout what Saffy's givin' her.

Hee-hee...  In all seriousness, it wasn't actually poop.

MOUSES!

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Next time you find yourself up a creek, I'll lend you my paddleless canoe.

Hmmm...

Nope, no sane kitty would trust the peep with their canoe.

Probably never get the thing back.

MOUSES!

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I was gonna give you a bird but I let go of it and out the window he flew.

Nah, there's no need for Peepers to think I'm responsible for the mess that stupid ol' bird made.

MOUSES!

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I made you this card, myself, so if you're at the dinin' room table, you might wanna mind the spilled glue.

Hmmm...

Now that one has potential, too.  Although it does require my actually makin' a card.  With paper.  And glue.  Nope, I don't need a sticky ol' card stuck on my gorgeous marmalade furs.

Again.

MOUSES!

Perhaps I should use the first poem, after all.  The one 'bout the catnip bein' glorious and whatnot.  It talks about catnip which everyone loves and things you love are appropriate for Valentine's Day.  AND it rhymes.  What could be better than that?

I know!

My Dearest Peepers...

Sorry 'bout not gettin' you any roses, ol' peep of mine.  I bought you some nip and cream, instead.  And whatever you do, don't put your foot in either one of your blue shoes.  HAPPY VALENTINE'S!

PURRS.

And...

'Cause we really mustn't forget.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

somebody...

I'm not sure who the cat is, but I'm thinkin' he's in BIG trouble, for sure. 

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Nope, no idea.  I have NO IDEA who the cat to whom you're referrin' is.  No idea who this cat is, at all.  Never heard tell of him, in fact.  Nope, never in all my nine lives have I ever heard tell of a cat named Somebody.

If you ask me, it seems like a kinda dumb name for a cat.  But you know peeps.  Peeps can do some pretty dumb stuff.  And SOME peeps will use practically anythin' for a name when namin' a cat.

Bad enough I'm named after an orange.

MOUSES!

So anyway, like I was sayin'...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

Like I told you before, I don't know any cat named Somebody.  I know me, Seville the Cat, along with the various nicknames I have.  I also know my brother-from-annuder-mudder, Saffron, as well as the various nicknames he has.  AND I know the cat who lives across the street but spends lots of time over here, visitin'.  But none of us - and I repeat, NONE of us - go by the name of Somebody.

FACT.

MOUSES!

Peepers, I heard you plain as day the first time.  I heard you say, "SOMEBODY made a real mess of the litter box."

Couldn't help but hear you, in fact.  IN FACT, I'm bettin' they heard you all the way over on the next street!  Your voice was all loud and strained and when you said Somebody, it was like you were usin' those invisible air quotes some peeps like to use.

Know what I mean?

Of course you do.  After all, it was you who used 'em.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, Peepers, like I said, I heard you the first time.  Although I did, in fact, ignore you.

Why?

'CAUSE LIKE I SAID, PEEPERS, I DON'T KNOW ANY CATS WHO GO BY THE NAME OF SOMEBODY.

Gosh darn it, it's like pullin' teeth when tryin' to reason with her.

MOUSES!

Of course, perhaps I shouldn't be assumin' you were talkin' about a cat.  I made that assumption on account of the fact that you were talkin' about half the litter from the litter box bein' scattered all over the floor, but...

Hmmm....

Well let me put it this way, Peepers.  Have you or Peep #2 started usin' our litter boxes?  And in the process of usin' said litter boxes, have the two of you been makin' a right ol' mess of  'em?  Perhaps because neither of you can actually fit in those litter boxes?  

Bwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!

My gosh I crack myself up.

MOUSES!

But anyway, like I said before, I don't know any cats who go by the name of Somebody, so I certainly don't know who it was who made that horrendous mess 'round and about the litter box.  I suggest you go ask Saffron although I'm bettin' he doesn't know Somebody, either.  We run in the same circles, you see, so it's highly unlikely he'd know a kitty I don't.

And another thing, Peepers, I don't know Anybody, either.  You know, the cat you keep askin' if he would like treats.  "Anybody want any treats?" you so often say.  "Anybody?"  Who the mouses is this cat named Anybody, and why are you offerin' him our treats?

But even though I don't know him...

Even though I don't know this Anybody fellow, I wouldn't mind a treat or two, myself.  After all, it's really not right that you're offerin' him treats instead Saffy and me.

Especially since they're actually OUR treats.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

snowmageddon 2024

That's enough, already.  It's enough!

I said, IT'S ENOUGH.

MOUSES!

So in case you haven't heard, and I'm sure there are some peeps out there who haven't, my fair province of Nova Scotia has had a wee bit of snow.

Wee?  Bit?  What am I sayin'?  It was more like a ....    A...  Well, more like umm...

Oh I don't know what it was more like, but there's one thing I absolutely DO know:

WE HAVE MOST DEFINITELY HAD ENOUGH.

MOUSES!

Yup, the snow started sometime Friday.  On Groundhog Day, to be exact.  My guess is that because Shubenacadie Sam didn't see her shadow, therefore predictin' an early spring, Mother Nature decided to give us a big ol' wallopin' of snow whilst she still could.

And she did.

WALLOP.

MOUSES!

Gosh darn it, some parts got a whole winter's worth of snow all in one weekend!

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, like I was sayin', the snow started sometime Friday and continued on until Saturday.

And then Sunday, too.

And it was still snowin' on Monday, although not nearly as badly.  And actually, some of it was kinda startin' to melt.

Yup, ol' Peepers went out to shovel and came back inside soakin' wet.  Snow had landed on her, and then started to melt.

Gonna have to start callin' her HOT STUFF, I think.

Heeheeheehee...

MOUSES!

Now I'm gonna admit, we didn't get nearly as much snow here at my house as some parts of the province did.  Why, I heard tell of reports of some places gettin' 150cm.  That's almost five feet high!  That's a whole lotta snow, to be sure.

And then when it started to drift...

I don't even wanna THINK about that.

MOUSES!

Saffy Saffron Sassifras INSISTED on goin' out the back door and plowin' through the snow to make his way under the deck.  Thanks-be-to-goodness that was just before Peepers was headin' out to shovel, so she was able to shovel a path for him to get back out.

From under the deck, I mean.

MOUSES!

But the bottom line is, my dear friends...

WE. HAVE. HAD. ENOUGH.

Snow, that is.

More treats and catnip will always be welcomed.  Yup, welcomed with open paws for sure.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

nothin' on TV

Gosh darn it, there's absolutely NOTHIN' to watch on TV.

MOUSES!

The Many Lives of Martha Stewart.

Hmmm...

Many lives?  Many?  Many as in more than one?  What do they think she is?  A cat?  A cat with nine lives?

MOUSES!

All Creatures Great and Small.

Hmmm...

Well I'm pretty great, and compared to most peeps, I guess I am kinda small.  That must be a show about me.

But I already know all about me.

MOUSES!

Law and Order Toronto: Criminal Intent.

Hmmm...

Toronto may be in Canada, but it's still really far away.  But I'm pretty sure that if I were to put my paw down, I could deal with any criminals there.  Give 'em a smacky-paw when needed or fling somethin' outta the litter box.

You know, that sorta thing.

So again, it's probably just another show about me.

And again, I already know all about me.

MOUSES!

News.

Hmmm...

Nah, there's never anythin' new on the news.  Same ol' stuff, day after day, year after year.  Life after life...  Just more peeps behavin' badly.  As badly as they can possibly be. 

That's one show that has NOTHIN' to do with me.

MOUSES!

But then there's Bird TV.

Oh sure, Bird TV has lots of repeats.  Crow Show: The Early Years;  Chickadee Chicks: Bathin' Suit Edition;  Morning Doves After Dark;  Blue Jays Gone Bad...

You know, that sorta thing.

And I guess some might say, if you've seen one, you've pretty much seem 'em all.

But you know somethin', my friends?  You know somethin'?  THOSE ARE THE KINDA SHOWS WORTH SEEIN' AGAIN!

And again.

And...  AGAIN.

And sometimes...

And sometimes, Bird TV airs other series from their affiliate networks.  Shows like The Karda...   I mean, The Squirrels.  Now THAT'S a nutty show worth watchin'.

MOUSES!

You know, I may have started this post thinkin' there was nothin' for a cat like me to watch on TV, but I have totally changed my mind about that, for sure.  TOTALLY!

I was just watchin' the wrong screen.  Instead of the television screen, I should have been lookin' out the window at all the glorious wonders of Bird TV.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.