somebody...

I'm not sure who the cat is, but I'm thinkin' he's in BIG trouble, for sure. 

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Nope, no idea.  I have NO IDEA who the cat to whom you're referrin' is.  No idea who this cat is, at all.  Never heard tell of him, in fact.  Nope, never in all my nine lives have I ever heard tell of a cat named Somebody.

If you ask me, it seems like a kinda dumb name for a cat.  But you know peeps.  Peeps can do some pretty dumb stuff.  And SOME peeps will use practically anythin' for a name when namin' a cat.

Bad enough I'm named after an orange.

MOUSES!

So anyway, like I was sayin'...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

Like I told you before, I don't know any cat named Somebody.  I know me, Seville the Cat, along with the various nicknames I have.  I also know my brother-from-annuder-mudder, Saffron, as well as the various nicknames he has.  AND I know the cat who lives across the street but spends lots of time over here, visitin'.  But none of us - and I repeat, NONE of us - go by the name of Somebody.

FACT.

MOUSES!

Peepers, I heard you plain as day the first time.  I heard you say, "SOMEBODY made a real mess of the litter box."

Couldn't help but hear you, in fact.  IN FACT, I'm bettin' they heard you all the way over on the next street!  Your voice was all loud and strained and when you said Somebody, it was like you were usin' those invisible air quotes some peeps like to use.

Know what I mean?

Of course you do.  After all, it was you who used 'em.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, Peepers, like I said, I heard you the first time.  Although I did, in fact, ignore you.

Why?

'CAUSE LIKE I SAID, PEEPERS, I DON'T KNOW ANY CATS WHO GO BY THE NAME OF SOMEBODY.

Gosh darn it, it's like pullin' teeth when tryin' to reason with her.

MOUSES!

Of course, perhaps I shouldn't be assumin' you were talkin' about a cat.  I made that assumption on account of the fact that you were talkin' about half the litter from the litter box bein' scattered all over the floor, but...

Hmmm....

Well let me put it this way, Peepers.  Have you or Peep #2 started usin' our litter boxes?  And in the process of usin' said litter boxes, have the two of you been makin' a right ol' mess of  'em?  Perhaps because neither of you can actually fit in those litter boxes?  

Bwhahahahahahahahaha!!!!

My gosh I crack myself up.

MOUSES!

But anyway, like I said before, I don't know any cats who go by the name of Somebody, so I certainly don't know who it was who made that horrendous mess 'round and about the litter box.  I suggest you go ask Saffron although I'm bettin' he doesn't know Somebody, either.  We run in the same circles, you see, so it's highly unlikely he'd know a kitty I don't.

And another thing, Peepers, I don't know Anybody, either.  You know, the cat you keep askin' if he would like treats.  "Anybody want any treats?" you so often say.  "Anybody?"  Who the mouses is this cat named Anybody, and why are you offerin' him our treats?

But even though I don't know him...

Even though I don't know this Anybody fellow, I wouldn't mind a treat or two, myself.  After all, it's really not right that you're offerin' him treats instead Saffy and me.

Especially since they're actually OUR treats.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.