struttin' his stuff

I swear that ol' brother of mine, Saffy Saffron Sassifras, is out there stuttin' his stuff.  Yup, he's struttin' his stuff for all the world to see.

Or at least anyone who happens to be lookin'.

MOUSES!

Now before anyone gets any ideas, yes, my brother has already been neutered.  It's not that kinda stuff he is struttin'.

Get your mind outta the gutter, would ya?

MOUSES!

But neutered or not, he's out there in the backyard, right now, walkin' about this way and that, head held high and tail straight up in the air.  And his walk is more of a...

Well...

An arrogant gait

Yup, he's most definitely struttin'.

MOUSES!

And get this.  Peepers tapped on the window to get his attention and do you know what he did?

Well, DO you?

Well I'll TELL you what he did.  NOTHIN'.  That's right, NOTHIN'!  He just kept on struttin', totally ignorin' the peep's tappin'.

Can you believe it?

MOUSES!

So why-oh-why is that brother of mine out there struttin', you ask?

Some fool - aka Peepers - told him he was walkin' on water.  And now he thinks he's all special and stuff.

HEY SAFFRON!  WHEN THE WATER HAS FROZEN INTO AN ICY LAYER ON TOP OF A FOOT OR MORE OF SNOW, YOUR WALKIN' ON IT DOESN'T COUNT AS YOUR WALKIN' ON WATER.

MOUSES!

If only you could see him, my friends.  If only you could see him!  Tail still held high.  Chin up in the air, too.  And if I'm not mistaken, he appears to be lookin' down his nose at somethin'.

Or someone.

Or...

Or at ME?

MOUSES!

Nah, that can't be right.  No cat would ever look down their nose at me.  They might look down their nose at peeps, sure, but never at me.

Besides,  LOOKIN' DOWN YOUR NOSE AT OTHERS IS MY JOB, you see.

Some cats can be so arrogant and full of self-importance.

It's pathetic, really.

MOUSES!

HEY PEEPERS!  Those treats you gave me a few minutes ago have gone all stale.  They must have come from the package you opened yesterday.  I, Seville the Cat, am gonna need some that are a bit fresher than that.

And could you please put 'em on a new plate?  I shouldn't have to eat off the same plate, twice.  Even if I didn't actually eat off it the first time.  After all, I AM Seville the Cat.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, if I don't keep after those peeps of mine, they'll try to get away with just about anythin'.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.