roses are red

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  This catnip is glorious but sorry, there's none left for you.

Hmmm...

For a Valentine's Day poem, that has potential, for sure.

MOUSES!

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I do love you, truly.  Some other kitty pooped in your shoe.

Hmmm...

I'm not sure about that one.  Kinda gives her a heads up 'bout what Saffy's givin' her.

Hee-hee...  In all seriousness, it wasn't actually poop.

MOUSES!

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  Next time you find yourself up a creek, I'll lend you my paddleless canoe.

Hmmm...

Nope, no sane kitty would trust the peep with their canoe.

Probably never get the thing back.

MOUSES!

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I was gonna give you a bird but I let go of it and out the window he flew.

Nah, there's no need for Peepers to think I'm responsible for the mess that stupid ol' bird made.

MOUSES!

My Dearest Peepers...

Roses are red, violets are blue.  I made you this card, myself, so if you're at the dinin' room table, you might wanna mind the spilled glue.

Hmmm...

Now that one has potential, too.  Although it does require my actually makin' a card.  With paper.  And glue.  Nope, I don't need a sticky ol' card stuck on my gorgeous marmalade furs.

Again.

MOUSES!

Perhaps I should use the first poem, after all.  The one 'bout the catnip bein' glorious and whatnot.  It talks about catnip which everyone loves and things you love are appropriate for Valentine's Day.  AND it rhymes.  What could be better than that?

I know!

My Dearest Peepers...

Sorry 'bout not gettin' you any roses, ol' peep of mine.  I bought you some nip and cream, instead.  And whatever you do, don't put your foot in either one of your blue shoes.  HAPPY VALENTINE'S!

PURRS.

And...

'Cause we really mustn't forget.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

forty-eight weeks

Roses are red,

Violets are blue...

Hmmm...

Oh, I know!

Roses are red,

Violets are blue.

You should be thankful

when I pee over you!

Love it.

MOUSES!

Oh Peee-Purrrrs....

OH PEEE-PURRRRSSS..

HEY PEEPERS!  I've written a Valentine's Day poem, just for you.  Sit still, will ya?  You know, while I recite it.

Oohhh...  Better yet, sit still while I ACT IT OUT.

*strikes a dramatic pose*

This is gonna be great.

'Specially the part about peein'.

Okay, are you ready?

*clears throat*

Roses are red...

HEY PEEPERS!  Get back here this minute!!!  I wanna act out my Valentine's Day poem for you.

Of all the no good for nothin' peeps.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya...

MOUSES!

You know, you'd THINK that a peep would be appreciative of the fact that a cat who has been cooped up with said peep for the last two hundred and sixty-one million, two hundred and seventy-three thousand, six hundred cat seconds, has taken the time to write a Valentine's Day poem just for her.  You'd THINK that a peep would be appreciative of a cat's poetry, for sure.

Yeah, that's what you'd think.

But my peep?

OH NO...

MY peep is the most unappreciative peep that ever did live.

And to think I was gonna act out the poem and everythin'.

Stupid peep.

MOUSES!

Hmmph.  Bet she'll be unappreciative of the mouse I put under her pillow, too.

JUST KIDDIN'.  Let me tell you somethin', my friends: IF I WERE to find a mouse, I'd be keepin' that mouse for myself.

Peepers doesn't deserve to have one.

MOUSES!

AND ANOTHER THING...

Uh...

Umm...

Hmm, I seem to have lost my train of thought.

Oh, I know!

*snaps claws*

AND ANOTHER THING, Peepers is the one who should be writin' ME Valentine's Day poems.  Not the other way around.  I mean, it was very thoughtful of me to write her a poem, for sure.  VERY thoughtful, indeed.  But really and truly, my agreein' to allow her to be my peep is pretty much the greatest gift of all, so when it comes to givin' gifts, she has lots and lots of gift givin' to make up for.

Why...

Why...

WHY IT'S LIKE MY VERY EXISTENCE is her Valentine's Day gift.

She had better have gotten me somethin' good this year.

Somethin' BETTER than a stupid poem.

Did I say that aloud?

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.