homeward bound

Previously on Nerissa's Life...

Mason put a paw on the shoulder of one of the squirrels and spoke very gently.  "I am very sorry to have to tell you this, but I believe your friend Robin is lost.  He has travelled to a far off land called Canada, and has found himself in another time."

"He had BETTER not be lost!" cried Seville, who had returned to Mason's side after doing his business.  "Mason, if Robin is trapped in twenty-first century Canada, we're trapped here.  Here. Wherever this is.  Not to mention, whenever."

The two cats stared at one another a moment and then cried in unison, "MOUSES!"

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"This is bad, Mason.  This is really, really bad," Seville muttered.

Mason nodded in agreement.  "You can say that again."

"This is bad, Mason.  This is really, really bad."  Seville noticed the unamused expression on Mason's face and added rather sheepishly, "Sorry."

A small squirrel approached Seville.  Looking into the cat's eyes he asked, "Is our friend Robin never to come home?  Never?" he sniffed loudly.

Seville reached up behind him and grabbed a tissue.  "Here you go, little buddy," and he gave the squirrel the tissue to wipe his eyes.

Like a flash of lightening, Mason swiped a paw and grabbed at the tissue.  "Where did you get this?" she demanded.

Seville twitched his whiskers.  "It's just a tissue, Mason.  It's not like I stole the Royal Jewels or anythin'.  MOUSES!"

Mason held the tissue before the little squirrel.  "Have you ever seen a handkerchief like this before?" she asked.

The squirrel accepted the tissue, rather gingerly, and examined it a moment before using it to wipe his eyes and then blow his nose.  Seville's eyes opened wide with amazement at the sound.  "Such a big honker for such a little squirrel.  MOUSES!"

Dabbing at his eyes again, the squirrel answered, "'Tis a hankie.  There's nothing odd about that, except...  Except..." and he rubbed the tissue between his paws.  "It is made of paper, and not cloth?  How very odd indeed."

The other squirrels gathered around, all wanting to see the strange paper handkerchief.  Seville reached behind him again, grabbing another tissue.  "Here, this one's clean," and he laid it down before the squirrels.

"Where the mouses are you getting those tissues?" Mason asked Seville.

Seville rolled his eyes.  "Mouses Mason, from where do you think?  I got 'em from that box of..." and he dropped his jaw.  "MOUSES!"

Mason and Seville carefully examined the tissue box protruding from a hollow in the oak tree.  A hollow that had not been there earlier.  Very slowly, they both walked around the tree;  Mason clockwise and Seville, counterclockwise.  Meeting up at the box of tissues again, they stopped. Mason touched the box with a paw.  It felt like an ordinary box of tissues.

"Mason," Seville hissed.  "I don't think they have paper tissues like that in this time period."

"Tell me something I don't know," Mason hissed in return.  "That box of tissues is from our time period, and not that of the squirrels.  "Plus, the hollow in the tree is back."

Seville sat back on his haunches, for as mentioned earlier, that was the position in which he always did his best thinking.  "You think the spacial conduit network is back up and runnin', sis?  'Cause you know...  If it is..."

"We can get home!" Mason finished her brother's train of thought.

"But what of our friend Robin?" the squirrels asked in unison.

"It is not that we do not like you," began one squirrel, "but you are both cats and we, squirrels.  A cat is the mortal enemy of a squirrel.  Also, we dearly miss our good friend."

"Don't worry," Seville comforted the squirrels.  "My sister and I will think of somethin'."  Turning to Mason he asked, "You think of anythin' yet, sis?"

Mason was studying the box of tissues.  "The hollow in the tree is smaller than it was before," she murmured.

"Well it is the entrance to a spacial conduit network."  Thinking Mason looked confused, Seville added, "You know, 'cause different sizes fit into different spaces and things.  Spacial...  Space,,. Mouses Mason, don't you know anything 'bout this stuff?"

Seville pushed Mason out of his way and put one front paw into the tree's hollow, before putting in the other, and then his head.  He looked down.  Way, way, down.  "Hey sis!" he hollered.  "The hollow might appear smaller on the outside, but inside, it's a huge cavern.  Just like it was when we entered the hollow at the tree at our house.  Pass me that box of tissues, would ya?"

Mason handed her brother the tissue box and Seville dropped it.  One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi..."  *THUNK!*  "Seven Mississippies!" he yelled.  "The box took seven Mississippies to fall to the bottom."  He narrowed his eyes, trying to see where the box had landed. "Is that...  Is that...  Is that..."

Way, way down at the bottom of the cavern inside the tree, Seville spotted the tissue box and next to the box, there was a small opening.  Hanging over the edge of the opening was a small squirrel wearing a little green hat.  And in his paws he held a bowl full of acorns.

"Hey Robin!  Is that you Robin?  Robin of Sherwood Forest?" cried out Seville.

"'Tis I," answered Robin.  "What spirit calls to me from the bottom of the hollow within the great oak tree?"

Seville thought for a moment, twitching his whiskers this way and that.  "The bottom?  No, I'm up here at...  Ummm..."  He thought a moment longer.  Robin was at the bottom of the tree and he was at the top.  But Robin thought he was at the top of the tree and that Seville was at the bottom. "But that's impossible," Seville murmured.  "Or is it..."

"I know how to get home!" Seville cried excitedly.  He tried to back himself out of the tree's hollow but realized he was stuck.  "Awww...  MOUSES!  Stupid spacial conduit network changin' sizes and stuff.  Makin' me look fat.  A ginger lad eats one too many treats and the next thing you know..."

"What on earth are you going on about?" asked Mason from outside the tree.  "And who's in there with you?"

"Never mind that, sis.  Just hold onto my tail, like you did at our house when we first fell through the tree, and whatever you do, DON'T LET GO.  Oh, and you're gonna have to give me a good shove. Maybe get the squirrels out there to help push.  Openin' is a bit of a tight squeeze, I'm afraid."

"But what of Robin?" Seville heard the squirrels outside the tree ask.

"Don't worry pals.  He's on his way!  Just give Mason a good shove, okay?" Seville told them.  Then he called down to Robin and told him to climb through the hollow in the tree and jump.

Down, down, down Seville and Mason fell.  As before, the hollow within the tree was much larger than the oak tree itself.  About halfway through their journey, they passed a squirrel wearing a hat and clutching a bowl of acorns.

"Was that..." Mason began to ask.

"Yup, that's Robin!" Seville answered with a smile.  "On his way home to his pals."

Three Mississippies later - for Seville had been counting - the two cats landed with a thud, before somersaulting forward and tumbling straight through the hollow at the bottom of the cavern, finding themselves sitting next to their very own oak tree, which stood at the end of their very own driveway.  They silently sat for a moment, gazing at the welcome sight before them:  their very own house.

"Sivvers!  Mason!  Din-dins!!!"

Seville and Mason both heard Peep #1 calling them for dinner.  Scrambling to their paws, they raced toward the house and inside, although Seville did spare a moment to glance back toward the oak tree, and he sighed with relief when he saw the hollow in the tree, the entrance to the spacial conduit network, slowly disappear, before his very eyes.

the fine nuances

Previously on Nerissa's Life...

The sound of horses approaching interrupted Mason's explanation and the two cats, along with all the squirrels, looked off toward the noise.

"It's the Sheriff!" cried one of the squirrels.

"Run!" cried another.

"Hide!" yelled a third.

"How are your climbin' skills, sis?" asked Seville, and the two cats dashed up the tree, as high as they could go.

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Seville, Mason, and the squirrels hid in the oak tree, while the Sheriff and his men milled about below.  Every now and then a horse would rear up on its hind legs, and Seville was sure someone would look up, spotting them, but instead they seemed more content to bicker amongst themselves. "Just like me with my fur-sibs," Seville whispered to himself.  "Hehehe..."

"Neither hide nor hair.  There is not a trace of them to be found," stated one of the men.  "'Tis time we return to Nottingham to ensure we are back by nightfall," and with that, the men galloped off on their horses, in the direction from where they had originally come.

Once out of sight, the squirrels scampered down the tree.  Mason and Seville followed.

"Who were those men?" Mason asked, "and why were they looking for you?  I assume it was you they were after."

"Those are the men we believe to have captured our friend, Robin," said one squirrel.

"And may be holding him captive as we speak!" piped up another.

Seville sat back on his haunches, for this was the position in which he always did his best thinking. "Hmmm...  I don't think they have your friend.  I have a sneaking suspicion that someone told them to look for you by this oak tree.  After all, they did come all this way and stop right here.  It's like they had intel or somethin'.  But if that intel had come from Robin, surely he would have told them you'd hide in the tree.  Up in its branches.  But none of 'em ever looked up.  I thought they were gonna, for sure, but no one did.  Their intel must have come from somewhere else."

"But if the Sheriff and his men don't have Robin, who does?" asked one of the squirrels.  "If Robin could come home, he would.  He must know we're worried about him.  The only way he wouldn't come home is if he couldn't come home.  Couldn't because he was being held captive."

"Perhaps he's being held captive by someone other than the Sheriff," suggested Mason.

"Well that's all we need!" and one of the squirrels threw the acorns he was holding up into the air. "ANOTHER enemy running about, trying to imprison us."

Seville narrowed his eyes.  "I don't suppose you've ever encountered anyone form the Weasel Syndicate, have you?  'Cause this is just the sort of thing those dastardly weasels would do."

Seville waited for the squirrels to answer but was met with nothing but blank stares.

"Guess not.  Guess there aren't any weasels involved.  But somebody sure did tell those men where to look for you, and your friend Robin is missin' and..."

"But there's no evidence that the two are actually connected," interjected Mason.  Robin might be missing for an entirely different reason and, I suspect, it has something to do with this oak tree."

"You believe it is the tree holding our friend captive?" asked one of the squirrels.  "Because if you do, you sound very foolish, indeed.  An oak tree holding a squirrel captive.  Ridiculous!"

"It does sound kind of hinky, sis," Seville hissed under his breath.  "We have an oak tree back home and we have lots of squirrels, too.  Never once have I ever seen any of 'em bein' held captive. MOUSES!"

"BOYS," and Mason stomped a paw with disgust.  She grabbed her measuring tape and held it up in the air.  "Do you remember how, before I was so rudely interrupted by those men on horses, I was trying to explain to you about the size differential between this oak tree and the one in our driveway? Well I won't go into too many details because the math is very complicated and I doubt any of you would understand..."

Seville opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it.

"So I'll jump right to the chase.  This tree and the tree at the end of our driveway are interconnected, Seville.  There's some sort of spacial conduit network between the two."

"More magic!" cried a squirrel.

"It has nothing to do with magic," Mason scolded, "unless you squirrels were magically shooting arrows at my brother and me earlier today."

Seville tugged at his sister's tail.  "Well actually, they were shootin' arrows at us, earlier. Remember?  We were standin' by the tree and they were shootin'..."

"I MEANT AT OUR HOUSE!"  Mason took a deep breath to calm herself.  "Remember?  Remember the arrows that were shooting out of the tree at us, when we were back at our own house, in our own yard?"

"Oh yeah...  Hey you squirrels, you.  How come you were shootin' at us before?  MOUSES!"

The squirrels looked at one another and began to chatter, discussing the situation.  "We weren't shooting any arrows at you at all until, as if by magic, you appeared by this tree."

"Well before we appeared by your tree, we were by OUR tree in our very own yard, nowhere near this tree of yours, and there were arrows comin' at us left, right and center.  MOUSES!"  Seville glared at the squirrels.  "So what do have to say to that?"

Mason stepped between her brother and the squirrels.  "That's what I'm trying to explain, Seville. They weren't shooting at us.  They were shooting at the tree.  Isn't that right?  Target practice or something like that?"

The squirrels all nodded their heads in agreement.

"The arrows must have hit the tree and been transported to twenty-first century Canada by the spacial conduit network.  And then you and I, while investigating the appearance of the arrows, were transported here."

"But what does this have to do with our missing friend?" demanded a squirrel.  "Is it your claim that he has been transported to another land?  BY A TREE?"

"Well not by the tree, exactly, but by the spacial..."

"Yeah, I don't think they're gonna understand all the fine nuances, sis.  Just tell 'em Robin disappeared in the tree," Seville suggested.

"But of course he did!" cried a squirrel.  "We told you when you first arrived:  Robin climbed the oak tree in search of acorns, and we never saw him again."

"Uh Mason..." and Seville pulled at his sister's tail again.  "I don't suppose you've given any thought to usin' that spacial conduit network to get us back home, have you, 'cause I really need to use the litter box, and I don't see any litter boxes lyin' about 'round here and..."

"Oh go do your business behind one of those trees over there!" and Mason pointed toward the edge of the clearing.  "BOYS.  Now where was I..."

"You were explaining that Robin is being held captive by the oak tree."

"TOLD YOU THEY WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND THE FINE NUANCES!" yelled Seville from the edge of clearing.

Mason put a paw on the shoulder of one of the squirrels and spoke very gently.  "I am very sorry to have to tell you this, but I believe your friend Robin is lost.  He has travelled to a far off land called Canada, and has found himself in another time."

"He had BETTER not be lost!" cried Seville, who had returned to Mason's side after doing his business.  "Mason, if Robin is trapped in twenty-first century Canada, we're trapped here.  Here. Wherever this is.  Not to mention whenever."

The two cats stared at one another a moment and then cried in unison, "MOUSES!"

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Be sure to return Wednesday for the conclusion of our adventure.

magic and wizardry

Previously on Nerissa's Life...

Seville found himself sitting at the base of a huge oak tree.  It looked exactly like the tree at the end of his driveway, only bigger.  The tree stood at the edge of a grassy, sunlit field.  He squinted in the bright sunlight. Mason appeared by his side and together, they took in the view before them.

"Oh my..." Mason gasped.

"OH MY MOUSES!" Seville yelled.

"Look yonder!" they heard someone cry, immediately before spotting a barrage of arrows heading their way.

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For a split second, the two cats watched in horror as the multitude of arrows approached them. Coming to their senses, they ducked in the nick of time.  Moments later, a bow-toting squirrel marched up to them both and demanded, "Whence came thou?"

Seville scrunched up his nose.  "Thou?  Who's thou?"

Mason kicked her brother with a hind paw and hissed, "He means us, Seville.  He wants to know from where we came?"

"How do you know that?" Seville hissed back.

Mason kicked him again.  "I watch PBS with the peeps."

"ENOUGH USELESS BANTER!" and the squirrel angrily stomped a paw.  "Who are you and what is this fiendish magic and wizardry at play?"

Mason was the first to gain her composure and extended a paw.  "My name is Mason and this is my brother, Seville.  We're cats and we came from..."

"From inside that tree!" and Seville pointed a paw in the direction of the tree behind him.  "We came from inside there."

"I knew it!" twittered a second squirrel who had scampered up behind the first.  "There is magic at work.  Some sort of evil spell and of that, I am sure.  One cannot come from inside a tree.  It is impossible."

"But we did.  Honestly," and Seville turned to point out the hollow in the tree, from where he and Mason had emerged.  But where there had been an opening minutes before, there was now nothing but the rough, grey bark of the oak tree.

By now, a dozen or so more squirrels had approached.  Mason and Seville backed up against the tree and the squirrels began to chatter amongst themselves, seemingly discussing what to do with the two cats.

Finally, one of the squirrels shooed the others away and approached Seville.  "Sir Cat, I do not know who you are, nor how you came to live with the spirits of the oak tree behind you, but perhaps you can help my friends and I."

"Me," interrupted Seville.

The squirrel raised an eyebrow and Mason hissed, "Enough with the grammar policing, Seville. Never annoy a squirrel who knows how to use a bow and arrow."

"But he should have said, my friends and me...  Awww...  Never mind.  MOUSES!"  Seville turned back to the squirrel.  "Go on."

"Perhaps you can help my friends and me," Seville smiled as the squirrel continued.  "Our friend, Robin, has been missing for what seems likes an eternity.  He left more than a fortnight ago, in search of acorns, but has yet to return.  We are worried he has been captured and imprisoned."

Mason sidled up to Seville and the squirrel.  "But why do you think my brother and I might be of assistance?"

"Because you yourselves admit to having been to the land inside the oak tree.  You claim to have exited that very tree, using magic and wizardry and.."

"Uh hold on a minute there, you merry little squirrelly fellow, you," Seville interrupted.  "My sister and I never admitted anythin' about usin' any kind of magic.  At least I don't think we did.  Did we, Mason?  I know we seem to have travelled through an inter-dimensional vortex of some kind, perhaps even to an alternate universe.  Might even have been a tad of time travellin' involved.  But that's not magic.  That's science!"

The squirrel raised an eyebrow again and Mason helpfully translated, "He means, alchemy."

"How do you know that?" Seville asked his sister.

"I told you.  I watch PBS with the peeps.  You need to start watchin' it, too."

"But I do..."

"No, you fall asleep while cuddling with the peeps, while I watch PBS with them," Mason scowled.

"Awww...  MOUSES!"

"Who are these mouses of whom you continually speak?" asked the squirrel.

"Ummm...  Not important.  Now tell me more 'bout your pal," Seville encouraged the squirrel.  "He's a red-breasted bird, you say?"

"No, he's a squirrel."

"But I thought you said he was a robin."

Sighing loudly, the squirrel explained, "His name is Robin, but he is a squirrel, I can assure you.  As am I."

"Well I can see that.  Why didn't you tell me he was a squirrel too, in the first place?" and Seville sat back on his haunches.  He lifted a paw to scratch behind an ear.  "So you say your pal went off lookin' for acorns, but he never came home, huh?  He ever disappear like that before?"

"He has been captured many a time.  Even imprisoned!  But we've searched all the dungeons and cells for miles around, and found not a trace of our friend.  He is nowhere to be found.  But that was to be expected, I'm afraid, for the last we saw of dear Robin, he was climbing up that very tree from which you appeared, and not anywhere near the village where he might run afoul of the Sheriff and his men."

"So you think he's lost up in the tree?  MOUSES!"  Seville craned his neck and looked way, way up.  "Well it is a very big tree. "  He caught movement out of the corner of an eye and asked, "Mason, what the mouses are you up to now?"

"Don't be silly.  I'm measuring the oak tree.  Boys!" and Mason finished up what she was doing. "Just as I thought.  This tree, and the oak tree at the end of our driveway, have a size differential of..."

The sound of horses approaching interrupted Mason's explanation and the two cats, along with all the squirrels, looked off toward the noise.

"It's the Sheriff!" cried one of the squirrels.

"Run!" cried another.

"Hide!" yelled a third.

"How are your climbin' skills, sis?" asked Seville, and the two cats dashed up the tree, as high as they could go.


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Be sure to return on Sunday for part three of our adventure.

watch out!

"What the mouses?" Seville cried as an arrow flew past him, narrowly missing his head.

"Who the mouses is shootin' arrows at me, from that ol' oak tree at the end of my driveway? What kind of ornery character would do such a thing?  A weasel?  It sounds like somethin' a weasel would do, for sure."

"WATCH OUT!" Mason yelled as a second arrow whizzed past Seville's head.

Spread eagle on the driveway, Seville cried out to his sister, "The weasels are shootin' arrows at me.  Or maybe it's the squirrels.  HELP!"

Mason ran to her brother, grabbed Seville by his tail, and hauled him onto his paws.  "I don't think so, Seville.  At least if they are, they have the worst aim in the history of...  Of...  Of aiming!."  The two cats watched as three more arrows shot out of the tree.  Luckily, these ones didn't come anywhere near either one of them.  "Besides," Mason added, "the Weasel Syndicate has been rather quiet as of late, and the squirrels around here are more likely to use slingshots armed with acorns, than arrows."

Seville nodded.  "True.  Hmmm..."  He approached the tree, jumping back as another arrow whizzed past.  "Now that's odd.  Never noticed that before."

"Is that some sort of hollow in the tree?" asked Mason as she crept up behind her brother.  "Was that there yesterday?"

"To tell you the truth, I don't think it was there this morning!"  Both cats jumped back as one more arrow flew out of the tree's hollow.  Seville looked at his sister.  "Mason, those arrows aren't comin' from the tree.  They're comin' out of it.  It's not the squirrels shootin' at us.  It's the tree, itself. MOUSES!"

"Don't be silly, Seville," Mason scolded.  "Trees don't shoot arrows.  At least I don't think they do." She paused.  "Well I've never heard of them doing anything like that.  I've..."  She stopped short as another arrow shot past.

"Well someone is shootin' arrows and that, sis, is a fact.  Somebody from inside that tree."  Seville put his front paws on his hips and firmly stated, "I'm goin' in."

"That's not a good idea, Seville.  There's no telling who you'll find inside that tree.  Or what, for that matter," and she grabbed her brother's tail and pulled him back.

"Let go of my tail!" Seville demanded as he peered inside the tree's hollow.  "Mason, it's a whole lot bigger inside here than you'd think.  It's like...  HUGE."  Huge, huge, huge...  his voice echoed. "Who would have thunk the inside of a tree could be so much bigger than the outside?  And is that..."  He leaned over the edge of the tree's hollow, trying to get a better look at what had caught his attention.  "Is that..."  He leaned over some more.  "Is that..."

Losing his balance, Seville slipped forward.  "Mason, get me out of here!" Seville yelled.  "I'm losin' my pawhold!"

Mason grabbed her brother's tail again.  Leaning backwards, she attempted to pull Seville out of the tree's hollow, but it was to no avail, for Seville was the much heavier cat.  She braced her back paws on the outside of the tree, holding onto Seville's tail for dear life, and pulled again.  Her brother's tail seemingly stretched like a bungee cord might, and Seville dangled in the abyss of the hollow.  "PULL HARDER!" he cried frantically.  "YOU'RE NOT PULLIN' HARD ENOUGH!"

Mason held on tightly and pulled backwards with all her might, but it was of no use.  Seville wouldn't budge.

Then disaster struck.  Mason lost her footing on a loose piece of bark, causing her to stumble forward.  Seville dropped further into the hollow and Mason, still holding onto her brother's tail, was dragged into the opening herself.  Before they knew it, the two cats were in free fall.

Down, down, down, they went.  Down further than they could ever have imagined, for the hollow within the tree was so very much larger than the oak tree itself.  After what seemed like an eternity had passed, they landed with a thud on a dirt floor, Seville first and Mason, seconds later.  Seville somersaulted forward and passed through an opening directly ahead. Mason scrambled to her paws and quickly scampered after him.

Seville found himself sitting at the base of a huge oak tree.  It looked exactly like the tree at the end of his driveway, only bigger.  The tree stood at the edge of a grassy, sunlit field.  He squinted in the bright sunlight. Mason appeared by his side and together, they took in the view before them.

"Oh my..." Mason gasped.

"OH MY MOUSES!" Seville yelled.

"Look yonder!" they heard someone cry, immediately before spotting a barrage of arrows heading their way.

                                                   *****************************

Be sure to come back on Wednesday for part two of our adventure.  PURRS.