HAPPY EASTER!

Happy Easter, everybody.  HAPPY EASTER!

So...

So did the Easter Bunny come to your house this mornin'?

MINE TOO!

MOUSES!

Truth be told, I was actually a little concerned he might not come to my house this year, on account of...

Well...

Well Peepers said I've been a little naughty this year.  AND THEN SHE SAID that the Easter Bunny has a Naughty List just like Santa.  AND THEN SHE SAID...

Well let's not get into what she said after that, on account of there's no reason for listin' all the naughty things I may OR MAY NOT have done these past few two hundred and ninety-nine million, three hundred and seventy-six thousand cat seconds of this ol' pandemic thing.

Not my fault the peeps have been drivin' me crazy.

Not my fault, at all.

And crazy times NATURALLY lead to kitties gettin' into mischief and stuff, my friends.

FACT.

MOUSES!

But all that aside...

All that aside, the Easter Bunny delivered chocolates for the peeps - BLEH! - and biff bags full of catnip for...  

WELL NOT FOR THE PEEPS.

PEEPERS!  I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR DIRTY PAWS OFF MY NEW NIP-FILLED BIFF BAGS!

AND DID YOU WASH THOSE DIRTY PAWS OF YOURS BEFORE TOUCHIN' MY NEW BIFF BAGS?

WITH SOAP AND WATER?

Don't you tell me to watch my language, Peepers.  AND DON'T YOU threaten me with Naughty Lists and stuff.  Turns out the Easter Bunny doesn't even HAVE a Naughty List, but if he did, you know who would be on it, Peepers?  You.  Yes, YOU.  You'd be on that Naughty List, for sure, on account of your LYIN' to me when you told me he had one in the first place.

MOUSES!

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR DIRTY PAWS OFF MY NEW NIP-FILLED BIFF BAGS!

Excuse me, my friends.  I must go and stuff some chocolate Easter eggs in Peepers' mouth to distract her from any catnip-filled biff bags she might happen to find.  And while I go do that, why don't you check out some of my Easter adventures from years past?

You know, in pre-COVID times, when I could socialise with the Easter Bunny and stuff.

MOUSES!

2014 - A Request for Assistance (Part 1)

         - Savin' Easter Morning (Part 2)

2016 -  Jailbreak

2017 - Nip Eggs

2018 - The Weasels who Stole Easter

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

forty-nine weeks

Oh Peee-prrrssss.....

OH PEEE-PRRRSSSS....

HEY PEEPERS!  Get over here.  I've got somethin' to tell ya.

MOUSES!

Peepers, see that crow out there on the rail?

I SAID, SEE THAT CROW OUT THERE ON THE RAIL?

Why am I yellin'?  Well I'm yellin' on account of my wonderin' if you've gone deaf or somethin'.  You know, on account of your not runnin' in here THE FIRST time I called out to you, like a good peep would do.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, now that I've got your attention: See that crow out there on the rail?  He's sittin' there wantin' you to feed him.

I KNOW you put food out on the landin' by the back door.  Crow knows that, too, as a matter of fact.  But Mr Crow can't be bothered to swoop down and eat that food you put out by the back door.  MR CROW wants you to trudge through the snow, out to the ol' oak tree out back.  He wants you to put his food out there.

'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE HE LIKES TO EAT, IS WHY.

Some peeps.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, Mr Crow is wonderin' why you're not puttin' on your boots and trudgin' through the snow.

I KNOW Mr Crow is perfectly capable of flyin', AND I KNOW it's a whole lot easier for Mr Crow to fly than for you to make your way through the snow.  Crow knows that, too, as a matter of fact.  BUT MR CROW STILL WANTS you to take his food out to the ol' oak tree out back.  You know, where he likes to eat.

Look, you can even take him some of Saffron's kibble.  It's okay.  It's fine by me.

I AM TOO BEIN' GENEROUS.  Fact is, I'm pretty sure Saffron's stash of the kibble is actually comin' from MY stash of the kibble, so when I offer up her kibble, I am, in fact, offerin' mine.

MOUSES!

So when are you goin' out there to feed that ol' crow?

DON'T JUST PUT MORE FOOD OUT BY THE BACK DOO...

Oh.  How come you stopped yourself from puttin' more food out at the back door?  You start listenin' to me, for once?

'Bout time.

MOUSES!

'Cause he hadn't touched the stuff you put out there for him, before.

Well isn't that what I TOLD you, Peepers?  Didn't I TELL you Mr Crow didn't want to eat at the back door?  Didn't I?  Huh?  HUH?  HUH?

Of course I did.

MOUSES!

*a little while later*

You know, Peepers, you shouldn't give in to that ol' crow like that.  Just 'cause he wants to eat over by the ol' oak tree out back, doesn't mean you should get on your coat and boots and trudge through all that snow.  He's perfectly capable of flyin' down and eatin' by the back door.  And if he's hungry enough, that's exactly what he'll do.

Mr Crow has obviously trained you well.

Probably on account of all those classes I've been givin' the birds on peep trainin', these last few...  Did I say few?  These last two hundred and sixty-six million, seven hundred and sixteen thousand, eight hundred cat seconds, of this ol' pandemic thing.

What?  A cat isn't entitled to start up a few extra avenues of income durin' quarantine?

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

forty-five weeks

So forty-five weeks is the same as...

Carry the one.

Carry that other one.

Oops!  That was just a speck of dirt and not a one.  Heeheeheeheehee...

Then multiply it all by...

GOT IT!  Forty-five weeks is the same as two hundred and forty-four million, nine hundred and forty-four thousand cat seconds.

MOUSES!

So as of today, I've been stuck here in this ol' house with the peeps for TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY-FOUR MILLION, NINE HUNDRED AND FORTY-FOUR THOUSAND CAT SECONDS

MOUSES!

Well, I suppose it could be worse.

NOT.

MOUSES!

And today, not only am I stuck in the house with the peeps, but the peeps are also stuck here with me, and...

Wait a minute.

PEEPERS!  JUST WHAT THE MOUSES DID YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE STUCK IN HERE WITH ME?

PEEPERS, BEIN' STUCK HERE WITH ME IS A PRIVILEGE!  YOU SHOULD BE SO LUCKY AS TO BE STUCK HERE WITH ME ALL THE TIME.  LUCKY!  LUCKY, I TELL YOU.  LUCKY!  YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEEPS OUT THERE WOULD LOVE TO BE STUCK IN A HOUSE WITH A CAT LIKE ME?

AND WHEN I SAY STUCK, I ACTUALLY MEAN HONOURED.

MOUSES!

Boy-oh-boy, some peeps.

Hmph.

I'm thinkin' Peepers is just in a foul mood on account of the weatherpeeps sayin' we were only gonna get a couple centimetres of snow overnight, but appear to have gotten their centimetres confused with their feet.  I mean, paws.  NO, I definitely mean feet.

MOUSES!

Yup, that's right, we had a major snowfall out there.  White stuff...  EVERYWHERE.  And before Peepers can go to the store or anywhere else, she'll have to shovel us out.

AND SHE JUST SHOVELLED, YESTERDAY!

I, on the other paw, am spendin' the day inside.

Away from the snow.

Outta the cold.

Even if I DO have to spend it with the peeps.

MOUSES!

*grins*

But I'm gonna suggest to Peepers that she head out there with the shovel, NOW.  More time she spends shovellin', the LESS time I'll have to spend with her here inside the house, pesterin' and annoyin' me.

Like the pesterin' and annoyin' peep that she is.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.