days like this

I'm tellin' ya, my friends, it's days like this when I sure am glad I'm a cat.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' a cat like me should be glad to be a cat EVERY day.  And you know somethin', my friends?

YOU WOULD BE RIGHT.

MOUSES!

But today of all days, I am ESPECIALLY glad to be a kitty and the reason is pretty simple, to be sure.  You see, word on the street is, when peeps get old like my peep who goes by the name of Peepers, the Easter Bunny sometimes stops visitin' and hidin' candy and stuff.  Apparently, the Easter Bunny thinks there comes a time for peeps to not need chocolate bunnies and eggs and things.

Clearly, the Easter Bunny has never met Peep #1 'cause if there were ever a peep who NEEDED chocolate, it's my Peepers.

Chocolate has the ability to subdue her inner beast, you see.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, like I was sayin', apparently when you get old, the Easter Bunny stops bringin' you treats.

If you're a peep.

MOUSES!

But the thing is, when you're a kitty, YOU NEVER GET OLD.

MOUSES!

Oh sure, we kitties get oldER, to be sure.  We're a year older every year, in fact.  But we never actually get old.

Least not in the eyes of our peeps.

Nope, in the eyes of our peeps, we kitties are their babies forever and ever and ever.  And ever!  And after that, too.  In the eyes of our peeps, we are their babies for eternity, you see.

And while this forever-lastin'-babyin' has its disadvantages at times...

Times like when a kitty wants to stay out and play after dark but is told in no uncertain terms that we can't stay out late 'cause it's past our bedtime, on account of us HAVIN' a bedtime, on account of our peeps thinkin' of us MANcats as bein' their babies and stuff.

MOUSES!

So yes, this forever-lastin'-babyin' does have disadvantages at times, but on Easter mornin'...

But on Easter mornin', we kitties are bound to be treated as kittENS and find all sorts of good stuff.  Yup, we find all sorts of good stuff left for us by the Easter Bunny, you see.  Things like nip eggs and nip mice and everythin' nice.  

'CAUSE MY PEEPERS HAS INFORMED MR EASTER BUNNY, HIMSELF, THAT I, SEVILLE THE CAT, AM HER BABY; AND  AM THEREFORE ENTITLED TO MY EASTER MORNIN' TREATS.

Either that, or she hides 'em all over the house, herself.

Nah, EVERYONE KNOWS the Easter Bunny hides all those goodies.

'Cept, of course, the ones for the old peeps.

And spreakin' of old peeps and their treats...

So speakin' of Peepers, Saffy and I had to order up a whole whack of chocolate eggs for her and hide 'em last night so that she, too, would have some goodies to find.  'CAUSE EVERYONE KNOWS A CHOCOLATE-LESS PEEPERS IS A SUPER SCARY PEEPERS, TO BE SURE.

Well that, and the fact that it's fun to watch Peepers crawlin' around the livin' room floor peerin' under furniture and stuff, and whining 'bout how sore it is on her knees; all whist droolin' over the thought of Cadbury cream eggs and Lindor chocolate truffles and...

Hey Saffy!  Pass me another nip egg, would ya?  Show's about to get REAL good, to be sure.  Peepers just spotted that truffle you hid behind the piano.

HAPPY EASTER EVERYBODY.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

HAPPY EASTER!

First things first:  HAPPY EASTER, my friends.  HAPPY EASTER!

Okay, so now that that's out of the way, I have some questions.  Yup, I most certainly do.  You see, I was thinking 'bout Easter the other day, and I realised I actually have a few questions about the Easter Bunny.  Don't you?

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', why on earth would Seville the Cat have questions 'bout the Easter Bunny?  After all, Seville the Cat HAS actually met the Easter Bunny on more than one occasion so he knows ALL 'BOUT that rascally rabbit, for sure.

Now I have to admit, you do have a point, but...

But I still have a question or two.

First of all, everyone always assumes the Easter Bunny makes all those eggs he paws out Easter Sunday mornin'.  Everyone always assumes the Easter Bunny lays egg after egg after egg, all year long, preparin' for his big day of hidin' said eggs in flower beds, grassy lawns, and under sofas and chairs.  Right?  Right.

But the thing is, chickens lay eggs.  Bunnies lay nothin' at all.

Hmmm...

So does that mean the Easter Bunny has a whole contingent of egg-layin' chickens at Easter Bunny Headquarters and if so, is he paying 'em well?

And more importantly...

ARE THEY FREE RANGE?

Questions, questions...  So many questions.

MOUSES!

And then there's the question 'bout chocolate.  The eggs chickens lay aren't made of chocolate, you see.  They're made of...  Well...  Egg.

So maybe...

So maybe, there is no Easter egg layin' contingent of chickens at all.

Maybe...

Maybe the chocolate eggs the bunny delivers are actually made by elves.

Thing is though, EVERYONE KNOWS the vast majority of the world's elves live up at the North Pole with Santa Claus.  I've been there many a time, and have met every single one of his elves.

Okay, so I haven't actually met every single one - there are quite a few of them, you see - but I've definitely been to the North Pole, more than once.

But back to the eggs and the elves.

If almost all of the world's elves live up at the North Pole and work for the big guy in red, how the mouses would the Easter Bunny have enough elves livin' at Easter Bunny Headquarters to make all those millions and billions of chocolate Easter eggs he needs Easter mornin'?  HOW?

What's that?  OUTSOURCIN', you say?

Now that's actually a very good thought, except...

Except even if I haven't met each and every one of the elves livin' up north, I do know Santa quite well, and...

AND HE'S NOT THE KINDA GUY WHO OUTSOURCES HIS ELVES.

MOUSES!

So again, where does the Easter Bunny get all of his eggs?  Not to mention chocolate bunnies and chickies and stuff.

Hmmm...

I know!  *clicks claws*  He must order 'em on-line.  Yup, you can shop for almost anythin' on-line these days.  That's gotta be what that bunny does, to be sure.  Probably orders a few million, every couple of days.

MYSTERY SOLVED.

My gosh I'm a clever kitty.

MOUSES!

Oh, and by the way.  If you've been wondering 'bout the origins of the saying 'bout not puttin' all your eggs in one basket, I have the answer for you.  Long story short, once upon a time, the Easter Bunny put all his eggs in one basket for deliverin' on Easter mornin' and needless to say, that basket broke due to the weight of those billions of eggs.

MOUSES!

HAPPY EASTER, MY FRIENDS!!!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

HAPPY EASTER!

Happy Easter, everybody.  HAPPY EASTER!

So...

So did the Easter Bunny come to your house this mornin'?

MINE TOO!

MOUSES!

Truth be told, I was actually a little concerned he might not come to my house this year, on account of...

Well...

Well Peepers said I've been a little naughty this year.  AND THEN SHE SAID that the Easter Bunny has a Naughty List just like Santa.  AND THEN SHE SAID...

Well let's not get into what she said after that, on account of there's no reason for listin' all the naughty things I may OR MAY NOT have done these past few two hundred and ninety-nine million, three hundred and seventy-six thousand cat seconds of this ol' pandemic thing.

Not my fault the peeps have been drivin' me crazy.

Not my fault, at all.

And crazy times NATURALLY lead to kitties gettin' into mischief and stuff, my friends.

FACT.

MOUSES!

But all that aside...

All that aside, the Easter Bunny delivered chocolates for the peeps - BLEH! - and biff bags full of catnip for...  

WELL NOT FOR THE PEEPS.

PEEPERS!  I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR DIRTY PAWS OFF MY NEW NIP-FILLED BIFF BAGS!

AND DID YOU WASH THOSE DIRTY PAWS OF YOURS BEFORE TOUCHIN' MY NEW BIFF BAGS?

WITH SOAP AND WATER?

Don't you tell me to watch my language, Peepers.  AND DON'T YOU threaten me with Naughty Lists and stuff.  Turns out the Easter Bunny doesn't even HAVE a Naughty List, but if he did, you know who would be on it, Peepers?  You.  Yes, YOU.  You'd be on that Naughty List, for sure, on account of your LYIN' to me when you told me he had one in the first place.

MOUSES!

I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO KEEP YOUR DIRTY PAWS OFF MY NEW NIP-FILLED BIFF BAGS!

Excuse me, my friends.  I must go and stuff some chocolate Easter eggs in Peepers' mouth to distract her from any catnip-filled biff bags she might happen to find.  And while I go do that, why don't you check out some of my Easter adventures from years past?

You know, in pre-COVID times, when I could socialise with the Easter Bunny and stuff.

MOUSES!

2014 - A Request for Assistance (Part 1)

         - Savin' Easter Morning (Part 2)

2016 -  Jailbreak

2017 - Nip Eggs

2018 - The Weasels who Stole Easter

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

nip eggs

"Hey Peepers!  You gonna come lookin' for Easter eggs with us?" Seville's question was met with silence.  "Suit yourself.  Some of us cats are headin' out into the backyard, now.  Call us when breakkie is ready.  MOUSES!"

"She's not joining us?" asked Mason.

"Nope.  Must have better things to do.  Things like gettin' our breakkies ready and stuff, I suspect."

"Probably in there eating chocolate Easter eggs, is more like it," Mason said under her breath.  Oh well, it's her loss."

"That's right!" exclaimed Anderson.  "I heard that this year, the Easter Bunny is finally hiding nip eggs.  Best kind of Easter eggs, EVER."

"I heard the very same thing," stated Seville.

"Me two!" piped up Rushton.

Mason looked at her marmalade brothers.  "Where did you all hear about these nip eggs?"

"Posters," the three boys replied in unison.

"There were posters?" asked Mason.  "Really?  Where were the posters?"

"Oh, here and there," answered Andy.  "Out on the deck."

"And stapled onto the big oak tree at the end of the driveway," added Rushton.

"And on the chairs on the veranda," chimed in Seville.

"Hehehe..." chuckled Andy.  "Yeah, I sat on one on a chair.  Messed it all up."

"I thought it was lookin' a little crumpled," muttered Seville.  "But crumpled or not, that poster clearly stated that this year, the Easter Bunny would be bringin' nip eggs to the Easter Egg Hunt bein' held in our backyard.  Come on, we had best hurry up.  We don't wanna miss out on those nippy eggs," and Seville led the way into the backyard, at a trot.

Rounding the corner, the four cats gasped with delight.  Before them, lay a beautiful array of various pastel-coloured eggs, dotted here and there, amongst the grass.

"Strange how there's no one else here yet," Mason murmured.

"You say strange", began Seville, "I say fortuitous.  "Come on, let's get those nip eggs before any neighbourhood cats arrive.  Meet you all back here in say, fifteen minutes?  MOUSES!"

The four cats nodded in agreement before heading off in various directions, sniffing each egg they passed, looking for the ones filled with nip.  It wasn't long before Anderson came running, yelling out to his fur-sibs.  "Mason!  Rushy!  Sivvers!  COME QUICK!  YOU'VE GOT TO SEE THIS."

The others quickly gathered around their brother.  "What's up?" asked Seville.  "You find any nip eggs yet?  EB - that's what I call the Easter Bunny these days - must have hidden the nip ones really, really well.  So far I've come up with nothin'."

"I found something better than a nip egg," Andy panted, out of breath from running.

"There's no such thing," Seville stated.  "I think you'll find there's nothin' better than a nip egg.  Well, not egg wise, anyway.  There are nip mice, and nip hearts, and nip..."

Ignoring Seville's listing of all toys containing nip, Andy turned on his tail, and ran off in the direction of some trees at the back of the yard.  "This way!" he cried.  "COME ON!"  The others followed. Once beyond the trees, they stopped in their tracks, staring at an object ahead.

"Oh my mouses," Seville whispered.  "What kinda chicken can lay an egg like that?"

"A really BIG chicken," Rushy answered.  "How the heck did the Easter Bunny fit that into his basket?"

"I can't budge it," Andy panted.  "I tried.  It's way too heavy for one cat to roll, but if all four of us work together..."

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU LOT?" Mason cried.

"Oh yeah.  Forgot.  Mason's right," and Seville approached the egg.  "We only want to bring it home if it's a nip egg, Andy.  Did it pass the sniff test?  Did you check?"

"THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT!" yelled Mason.

"You think we should bring the non-nippy eggs home, too?" Seville asked his sister.

Mason clenched her paws.  "What I mean," she began through gritted teeth, "is that there isn't a chicken alive that can lay an egg that size.  Can't you all see that it must weigh like a...  a tonne?"

"AT LEAST!" Rushy nodded, excitedly.  "That egg must contain more nip that we cats have ever before seen in one place.  It's like the motherload of nippiness."

"Boys," Mason muttered under her breath.  "Look you three, that's not a chicken egg.  And I HIGHLY DOUBT it was left here by the Easter Bunny.  And even if your pal, EB," and she looked pointedly at Seville, "could fit that egg into his basket, there's no way he'd be able to carry it, much less hop around, trying to hide the darn thing."

Seville sat back on his haunches.  "Hmmm...  I see your point.  But if EB didn't leave it here, who did?"

"It could have been aliens," Anderson suggested.  Rushton vigorously nodded in agreement.

Mason rolled her eyes.  "Not everything weird is down to aliens, Andy.  You've been watching too much Channel 17."  Again, Rushton nodded, vigorously, in agreement.  "And Rushton, you don't have to agree to everything everyone else says," Mason added.

"You're absolutely right, Mason," Rushy agreed.

"For crying out loud," and Mason looked from one brother to the next.  "Do any of you have any ideas about this egg that don't involve aliens?"

"Oh boy..." and Seville let out a long whistle.  "If it's not aliens to blame, it can only be one thing, and that one thing would be..."

"WEASELS," the other three cats yelled in unison.

"Yup, what we've got here is one enormously large weasel egg," Seville stated.

"Weasels lay eggs?" Andy asked, incredulously.

"That's not what Seville meant," Mason scolded.  "It isn't, right?" and she glanced toward Seville.

"Don't be silly, sis," Seville scowled.  "I meant, that dastardly ol' Weasel Syndicate must be behind leavin' this egg, here.  For all we know, maybe the Syndicate is behind this whole Easter egg hunt. It is super weird that no one else has shown up yet.  A legitimate Easter Egg Hunt with nip eggs would attract more than a few neighbourhood cats, for sure."

"So you think that all those posters you boys saw, were put up by the Weasel Syndicate," Mason surmised.

"Yup, looks like it," Seville nodded.  "Bet they put 'em up to trick us cats into coming to the hunt. And I bet that trickery has somethin' to do with this here egg, too."  Seville walked around the egg, examining it carefully.  "Must have used a backhoe to get it in here," he theorised.

"Well we can't just leave it sitting there," Mason stated, turning to face her brothers, her back now to the egg.  "Can you imagine how much this egg will stink in a few days?  It'll stink up the entire backyard.  It'll stink up the whole neighbourhood.  It'll..."

"Uh, Mason..." Rushton interrupted.

"What, you don't think this gigantic egg will cause a gigantic stink when it starts to rot?" asked Mason.

"Um, Mason..." and Andy, too, interrupted his sister.

"What is it with you boys?" asked Mason.  She looked at Seville.  "And I suppose you don't think this egg will start to stink if we leave it here, either?"

Seville pressed his lips together, and thrust his jaw to one side.  "Actually, I think we might be more worried about..."

"What?  WHAT?  What on Earth could possibly be more worrisome right now, than the gigantic stink caused by a gigantic egg rotting in our backyard?" and Mason threw her paws up in the air, with frustration.

"I don't know," and Seville made a face.  "Maybe a gigantic somethin' or other hatching from a gigantic egg in our backyard?"

Mason's eyes grew wide and very slowly, she turned to face the egg.

A large crack had formed down one side.  Every now and then, a razor sharp beak could be seen, pecking at the crack, from the inside. And with each peck, the crack grew bigger.

"RUN!" all four cats yelled in unison.

Halfway across the backyard, Seville cried out, "WAIT!" and everyone skidded to a stop.  "We have to go back.  I don't know what's hatchin' out of that egg, but whatever it is, I'm thinkin' it's gonna be way more trouble once it's out of its egg, and walkin' about."

"Seville is right," Mason sighed.  "We can't let whatever that thing is, loose in the neighbourhood."

"Well I don't think we can put it on a harness," stated Rushton.  "I don't think a cat's harness will fit it."

"I have an idea," Seville said.  "Wait here.  I'll be right back," and he ran toward the house. Moments later, he returned with a bag full of whisks, eggbeaters, and other time travelling teleportation paraphernalia, in tow.

"You're going make an omelet?" Andy asked, scratching behind an ear.  "Where are you going a find a big enough bowl?"

"Wha?" Seville began.  Shaking his head, he reached into the bag and drew out an instrument. "This here used to be a light meter for the peep's flashy box but I uh, BORROWED it a while back, and turned it into a time meter."

"Like an egg timer?" Andy asked.  "Like the kind the peep uses when cooking eggs?"

Again, Seville shook his head.  "Sometimes I really wonder 'bout my fursibs," he muttered under his breath.  "This here time meter will tell us to what time period that ol' egg belongs.  Mason got me to thinkin' when she said there wasn't a chicken alive that could lay an egg that size.  Maybe not a chicken, and maybe not alive, but maybe..."

"Aliens.  I knew it!" and Rushton stomped a paw.

"No.  No, not aliens.  Boy-oh-boy-oh-boy.  What is it with you and your aliens?  I have a FAR MORE PLAUSIBLE explanation.  Somethin' that actually makes sense.  I'm thinkin' it's a dinosaur egg."

Mason, Rushton, and Anderson fell silent, thinking over Seville's theory.  "But how would the Syndicate get hold of a dinosaur egg?" Mason queried.  "You didn't give them access to your eggbeater-whisk time travelling teleportation device, did you?"

"Gave...  Rented out for a moderate fee...  Whatever," and Seville sheepishly pawed at the ground. "But let's deal with the issue at paw, shall we?   We need to use this time meter to identify the time period that that there, whatever-it-is, is from.  And then we need to send it back to its own time, and we need to do so, pronto.  MOUSES!"

Walking on the tips of their paws, the four cats snuck back to where the giant bird-like dinosaur hatchling was pecking around the ground, looking for whatever giant bird-like dinosaur hatchlings peck at.  "It's already out of its shell," Seville whispered.  "I'm goin' in.  If I don't make it out alive, I'm leavin' all my nip mice to you three, okay?"

"SCORE!" Andy yelled.  "Sivvers has the best stash of nip mice, ever," he grinned.

The hatchling turned its head toward the cats at the sound of Anderson's cry.

"Shhh..." Seville hissed.  "Ixnay on the loud chatter."

With the time meter in one paw, Seville crept toward the hatchling.  The dial on the meter immediately swung over to the far left, identifying the time period to which the dinosaur belonged. Seville took note of the date and scurried back to the other cats.

"The darned thing is like five hundred million years old.  MOUSES!"

"Really?" and Rushy raised one eyebrow.  "He looks really good for his age.  I thought he was a baby."

"He IS a baby," Seville scowled.  "But he's a baby that belongs in a time period 'bout five hundred million years ago.  "We need to work fast before he becomes even more mobile.  Come on.  I have a plan.  Pass me those eggbeaters, Rushy."

Working together, the four cats strung together the eggbeaters from Seville's bag, forming a chain. They then placed the chain on the ground, encircling the hatchling, leaving one end of the circle open.  "Mason," Seville instructed, "take a half dozen of the largest of those there whisks in the bag, and use 'em to open up a time vortex.  The bigger the vortex, the better, but make sure it opens right where the ends of the eggbeater chain don't meet.  I'll start calibratin' the vortex, using the time meter.  Andy, I need you to run back to the house.  There's a box of Ancient Grains cereal in the cupboard.  We'll use that to lure the hatchling toward the time vortex."

"Ancient grains," Anderson murmured.  "Ancient grains.  Uh, what does a box of ancient grains look like?"

"Just...  Just...  Just look for the oldest box of cereal in the house," Seville told him.  "And whatever you do, don't mention anything about dinosaurs hatching out of Easter eggs in the backyard, to the peep."

"Got it," and Andy ran toward the house.

"What should I do?" Rushton asked.

"You start revvin' up those eggbeaters.  But make sure you stay on the outside of the eggbeater-chain circle.  We don't need you teleportin' anywhere along with that hatchling."

By the time Anderson returned, Mason had the time vortex fully functional, and Seville had calibrated it to the correct time period.  Seville grabbed the cereal box from Andy's paw and started tossing cereal, by the paw full, onto the ground between the hatchling and the vortex, being very careful to stay on the outside of the circle, himself.   "Here chicky-chicky, here chicky-chicky," he cooed.

"It's working," Mason whispered, and the four cats watched as the hatchling pecked at the ground, following the trail of cereal, heading straight for the time vortex.  Within minutes, he - or she - had made it through the vortex, disappearing into Earth's distant past.

"Whew," Seville sighed with relief.  "That was a close call, for sure.  Let's just keep this one to ourselves and not mention anythin' to the peep, okay?"

"But what about the nip eggs?" Andy asked, disappointment clearly evident in his voice.  "None of us found any at all.  Not a single one."

Seville put a paw around his brother's shoulder.  "I don't think there ever were any nip eggs, bro.  It was all a ruse set up by those darned weasels.  Bet they thought we'd come across their dinosaur egg and get pecked to death by that...  whatever it was."

"Death by peckin'," Rushton murmured.  "Not good at all."

"Come on boys," Mason said, encouragingly. "Maybe there aren't any nip eggs out here, but there are nip toys in the house, and Peep #1 likely has our breakfasts ready. Let's head on inside and see if we can convince her to give us extra treats.  I bet she will, as it's Easter morning."

"Sounds like a plan," agreed Seville.  "Come on everybody.  Let's go wish the peeps a Happy Easter, and then score some extra treats.  Not necessarily in that order, of course.  MOUSES!"

And with that, the four cats headed back to the house, humming along to Easter songs about rabbits hopping down bunny trails.

HAPPY EASTER EVERY BUNNY!

I mean, body.  Everybody.

HAPPY EASTER!!!

jailbreak

Seville awoke with a start.  "What was that?" he whispered to himself. "What was that noise?" Deciding to investigate, he jumped off the bed. The noises appeared to be coming from the main floor so he padded down the steps, through the hall and kitchen and into the family room, only to find his two long-haired marmalade brothers munching on cat treats, with their eyes glued to the television set.

"What are you doin' watching TV at this hour?" Seville demanded of his brothers.  "You two have any idea what time it is?  It's way past your bedtimes and if Peep #1 finds out, she's gonna freak.  Oohhh... SHOVE OVER," and Seville settled in beside Rushton and Anderson.  "This show does look good.  What's it's about?  New crime drama or something?"

Rushton answered in a whisper.  "Not a show, Sivvers.  It's the news."

"Yeah, high-speed police chase," piped up Anderson.  "They're replaying what happened earlier today."

BREAKING NEWS...  Earlier this evening, the suspect wanted in this afternoon's high-speed police chase was picked out of a police line-up by several witnesses.  Suspect has been identified as Mr. Harold Bunnykins of Number 22 Hyacinth Lane.  Bystanders state...

"OH MY MOUSES!" Seville, Rushton and Anderson cried in unison.  "That there is the Easter Bunny, for sure!"

At that very moment, Mason came tearing into the family room.  "Seville!" she yelled.  "We have an emergency situation.  Word on the lawn is that the Easter Bunny has been arrested and is being held for questioning regarding a massive egg theft and..."

"I know!  I know!" and Seville pointed to the television screen.  "It's all over the news and everything.  LOOK!"

"No time to watch TV now, Sivvers," and Mason pulled her brother to his paws.  "The teleportation device is primed and ready.  We need to break the Easter Bunny out of jail, immediately.  Kids will be waking up tomorrow morning and there will be no chocolate eggs for them to find.  There's no time to waste!"

"Why don't you just use one of those whisky things of yours," began Anderson, "and whisk yourself back in time and prevent him from getting caught in the first place?"

Seville stared at his brother.  "That's not a bad idea.  Where did you get it?"

"Won't work," stated Mason.  "Everybody knows Easter Bunny magic isn't compatible with whisk time travelling technology."

"Don't you mean every bunny?" chuckled Rushton.

"NO, I meant what I said.  Everybody...   Oh for mousin' out loud!" and Mason threw her paws into the air in frustration.  "Why am I even explaining this to you, Rushton?  Come on, Seville, we have work to do," and with that she hauled Seville out of the room, leaving Anderson and Rushton to continue watching television.

"You have any idea where they're holding him?" Seville asked Mason as they scurried toward the teleportation device.

"I'm one paw ahead of you, Sivvers.  I've programmed the coordinates into the teleportation device. Eggbeaters are at the ready.  Here," and she thrust a large bag into Seville's paws.  "Things we might need for our mission."

Moments later, Seville and Mason were flying through space, teleporting to the police station where the Easter Bunny was being held.

After landing safely, the two cats approached the front doors with caution.  "How are we ever gonna open those?" Seville asked of his sister.  "They look pretty heavy and neither one of us can reach the..."

"Run for it!" Mason hissed as a door opened and a uniformed officer exited the building.  Mason and Seville high-tailed it inside before ducking down a side corridor.

"Now where are those blueprints?" and Mason dug through the bag she had instructed Seville to bring.  "Got them!"  Spreading the blueprints for the police station out on the floor, she circled the locations of the holding cells and interrogations rooms.  "They'll be holding him either here or here," she stated.  "We're currently at the front desk which is right here," and she used the marker again to make a large letter 'X'.  "We'll make our way to the interrogation rooms first and then down to the cells if necessary."

Seville gazed around.  "What if someone spots us?"

"Got that covered.  Put this on," and Mason thrust a police hat at Seville.  "Wag your tail and say woof and they'll think you're a police dog on staff."

"Wag my tail and say woof?" Seville scoffed.  "Like that's gonna work.  MOUSES!"  At that very moment a uniformed officer turned the corner and looked down at the two cats.

"Woof!  WOOF!"  Mason and Seville cried, while flipping their tails back and forth.  The officer smiled and muttered, "Evenin'."

"Well oh my mouses, I'll be darned," Seville murmured, shaking his head.  "It did work, after all."

"Told you.  Now come on, time's a wasting.  We need to go this way," and Mason hauled at her brother by his tail.

Finding the interrogation rooms empty, the two cats continued down to the basement where they found the holding cells and there before them was the gloomiest looking rabbit either one had ever seen.  Seville grabbed the iron bars and peered inside the cell.  "Psst...  Harry!  We're here to spring you.  Hang on there, bunny.  I mean, buddy.  No, I really do mean bunny.  MOUSES!"


At the sound of Seville's voice the Easter Bunny's ears perked up.  "Seville, is that you?  Seville the Cat?  I'm locked in here and I can't get out."

"Don't you worry Mr. Bunnykins," piped up Mason.  "We'll have you out of there in a jiffy. Seville?  Need one of your hairs."

"No Mason, Harold is a bunny, not a hare.  Easter Bunny, remember?"

"What?"

"He's a rabbit, Mason."

"But I said I needed a hair."

"But I said he's a bunny as in rabbit and not as in hare."

"What are you talking about, Seville?" Mason asked, furrowing her eyebrow whiskers.

"Excuse me," Harry interrupted.  "Seville, I think she needs one of your hairs," and with that he plucked a hair from Seville's coat.

"Ouch!  Oh.  MOUSES!"  Seville watched as Mason used the hair to pick the lock on the holding cell.  Within seconds the lock popped open and the cell door opened.  "There you are, Mr. Bunnykins, you've been sprung.  Free as a bird."

Seville tapped his sister on the shoulder.  "Mason, he's a bunny, remember?  He's not a bird."

Mason rolled her eyes.  "Just grab the rabbit's basket and the two of you follow me."

The two cats and Harold the Easter Bunny crept down the hallway, quietly.  "Why were you locked up in the first place?" Seville whispered.

"Weasel Syndicate.  What else?  Some weasel was caught raiding a hen house and, in typical weasel fashion, he made a deal with the police in order to get off with a lighter sentence.  Claimed I was the mastermind behind all the egg thefts leading up to Easter."

"And were you?" Seville asked with a gasp.

"Of course not!" Harry cried in his own defence.  "Weasels.  You can't trust a thing they say..."

"STOP RIGHT THERE," a loud voice demanded from behind them.  "Put your paws up and turn around...  slowly."

The cats and rabbit obeyed but when Seville raised his paws, he dropped the bag he had been dragging around and out of it fell a spare eggbeater.  The police officer peered at it, clearly wondering why a cat would be carrying eggbeaters around with him.  He leaned over, giving it a visual examination while being careful not to touch it.  Seville took the opportunity to act and snatched the eggbeater from the floor and started turning it with a flourish.  At the same time, Mason grabbed Seville by the tail and Harry by his ears and dragged them both over and onto a wheeled push cart that just happened to be in the hallway.  Seville continued to beat madly with the eggbeater while yelling, "PREPARE FOR TELEPORTATION.  INITIATE TELEPORTATION. TELEPORTATION INITIATED!"

The air in the hallway became hazy and sparks began to fly.  Off in the distance the two cats and rabbit could hear police officers yelling as they scrambled to catch the escapees but they were too late.  Seville, Mason and Harry were already whizzing through space, teleporting home on the makeshift push cart teleportation device.

"Drop me off at my workshop, would you?" Harry asked the cats.  "I need to pick up my Easter supplies and start hiding eggs before morning.  Can't disappoint the kids, you know."

"Of course you can't," Seville nodded in acknowledgement.  "We'll have you at your workshop momentarily but while I have you here, let me tell you 'bout an idea I have.  Picture it, catnip Easter eggs.  What do you think?   You think you might hide a few of those at my house this year?  After all, I did help spring you out of that jail cell and all."


"Catnip Easter eggs, huh?" the Easter Bunny murmured.  "Never thought of doing that.  I'll see what I can do, my friend.  I'll see what I can do."

The cats waved goodbye to Harry as they took flight once more, heading for home, themselves. Harry waved back, calling out, "Happy Easter!" Then he headed inside to gather up his supply of Easter eggs, chocolate rabbits and baskets but before starting his deliveries, he put together one very special basket filled with Easter eggs made entirely of catnip, for his very special feline friends.

    HAPPY EASTER EVERYBUNNY!  purrs

savin' Easter morning

"Nip-filled eggs?  Not a bad idea there, Seville.  Remind me to work up some plans when we get home but first things first."  Nerissa turned to the rabbit and said, "Please, take us to this chocolate vault."

The rabbit led the two cats into the castle, otherwise known as Easter Bunny Headquarters.  They went through a great hall and down several flights of stairs.  Climbing further and further into the bowls of the castle, Nissy began to wonder if they would eventually reach the centre of the earth.

Finally, their downward ascent stopped and they began to walk through a long tunnel.  At the end of the tunnel, they came upon a set of large, iron gates.  Beyond the gates were the chocolate eggs meant to be delivered by the Easter Bunny on Easter morning.

The cats stared into the vault.  "That's a lot of eggs," they said in unison.

"Four billion, nine hundred and sixty-three million, two hundred and fourteen thousand, eight hundred and eleven to be exact," the rabbit informed them.

The two cats looked at one another and then back at the vault doors.  "Yup, that's a whole lot of eggs," they stated again.

Nissy sniffed around him, detecting the smell of chocolate mingling with musty air.  "You really ought to get some better ventilation down here," he suggested to the rabbit before inspecting the large lock, firmly adhered to the gate.

Seville sniffed at the lock.  "It's just a lock, Nerissa.  I think we can maybe break it off if we can't find the key.  Don't know why the rabbits didn't think of that before."

"Because the lock is magic," the rabbit informed them.   "It's a magic lock.  If anyone should attempt to open it without the proper key, the unthinkable will happen."

"The unthinkable?" asked Seville.  "What would that be?"

"Well we don't actually know...  exactly," explained the rabbit, "because it's...  it's...  Well, because it's unthinkable.  It would be very, very bad.  We NEED that key."

"Then let's get down to business," began Nissy.  "You told us that the key was either lost or stolen. Let's search the area around the vault in case it was simply misplaced.  I know that my peeps lose keys all the time.  Quite possible that the key was just dropped or something around here."

Nerissa and Seville quickly searched the area around the vault doors as well as up and down the tunnel but to no avail.  There wasn't a trace of a key to be found anywhere and Nissy began to wonder if the Easter Bunny had been wrong to entrust him with the task of saving Easter morning. Leaning back against the tunnel wall, he let out a long sigh.

Nissy's sigh turned into a cry as the wall upon which he was leaning gave way and he found himself tumbling backwards into another tunnel.

Seville immediately came to his brother's rescue, helping him up onto his four paws again.  "You okay there, Nissy?" he asked.

"I'm fine Sivvers but look at this.  It's some sort of secret tunnel that branches off the main one.  Did you know about this?" he asked the rabbit.

"I had no idea this was here."  The rabbit squinted, trying to peer down the tunnel.  "There's no lighting in there. No self-respecting rabbit would ever use it."

Sure enough, unlike the main tunnel which had been lined with brightly burning torches, the walls of this secondary tunnel were bare.  As cats, Nerissa and Seville could see easily enough with only the little light that bled in from the main tunnel but other species would have far more difficulty.

"You stay there," Nerissa instructed the rabbit, "while Seville and I investigate further."

The two cats quietly padded down the secondary tunnel, making their way around chocolate eggs scattered here and there on the floor.  Eventually, Seville came upon a small piece of paper.  "Look at this," he said to Nerissa.  "Appears to have been torn from a notebook or something.  There are some numbers scribbled on it and it's covered in stains."

Nissy snatched the paper from his brother's paw and gave it a sniff.  "Hmmm..   It smells of chocolate.  The stains on this note are melted chocolate.  Sivvers, you found a clue!"

The cats continued along at a faster pace.  They were in hot pursuit of the missing key and their excitement was mounting.  The tunnel took a sharp turn and they found themselves standing before a wooden door.

Nissy pawed at the door knob and the door opened, inwardly with a creak, revealing a small office barely large enough to house the wooden desk and chair, inside.

Nissy jumped up onto the desk to inspect a large book that had been left open.  "This book is all about commodity prices," he told his brother.  "It's open to a chapter about the commodity pricing of cocoa.  And just look at this!" and he pointed to the iron key resting gently inside the book.

"Never mind that.  Take a look at the portrait hanging on the wall," Seville suggested to Nerissa. "That egg look familiar to you?"

"Do you know what this means?" Nerissa said to his brother.  "That egg who goes by the name of Mr. Egg Sackly has stolen the key to the chocolate vault himself in an attempt to manipulate the world commodity prices of cocoa.  And he did so right underneath the Easter Bunny's nose!  The audacity of that egg.  Can you believe it?"

"What an egghead," piped in Seville.

"And just who are you calling an egghead?"

The cats turned toward the door to see Egg Sackly standing there, blocking their path out of the office.  The egg had an evil grin on his face.

"I see you've discovered my plans, you two little meddling furballs.  How dare you waltz into my private domain."

"How dare we..." sputtered Nerissa.   "How dare you attempt to ruin Easter morning for children all around the world."

"For generations," rambled on Sackly, "Easter Bunnies have been delivering chocolate eggs to children, belittling the perfection of my ancestry.  The perfection that is the egg.  My namesake.  My very being.  And every year, those rabbits get all the glory for hopping around the world, delivering wonderful, beautiful eggs.  Well it's high time that we eggs see some benefits from Easter morning.  If we can't have the glory, we can at least make a profit from it."  The egg began to prance around the small office which, for an egg with no legs, was quite a feat.

Seeing an opportunity to escape, Nerissa wrapped his mouth around the iron key and at the very same time he yelled, "RUN!" to his brother.  The two cats headed down the secondary tunnel at top speed with Egg Sackly rolling in hot pursuit behind them.

The boys ran as fast as their paws would carry them, skidding into the main tunnel and coming to a halt as they slammed against the tunnel wall.  Moments later, Egg Sackly hit the same wall with a loud, resounding crack.

"Ewwww...." Nissy cringed.

"Yup, that's gotta hurt," agreed Seville.

Nerissa handed over the iron key to the chocolate vault to the rabbit before he and Seville explained all they had discovered in Egg Sackly's office.

"We'll get him the help he needs," the rabbit told the cats.  "Tsk, tsk, tsk..."  the rabbit muttered. "Imagine thinking he could get away with such a thing.  Just wait until the Easter Bunny hears about this."

As Egg Sackly was being carted off to hospital Nerissa, Seville and the rabbit made their way out of the tunnel, through the castle's great hall and into the sunshine.  Nerissa sniffed the fresh air and revelled in the warmth of the sun, caressing his nose.  Seville took a swipe at a butterfly that dared to fly a little too close to him but thankfully for the butterfly, he missed.

The Easter Bunny is ever-so-grateful for all your assistance today, a rabbit informed the two cats. "He says that the two of you really saved Easter morning for children all around the world and wanted me to give you this giant chocolate egg for your Peep #1.  She's a little too old to be having the Easter Bunny stop by on Easter morning but he remembers that she always did love her chocolate."

"Did?  Did you say did?  As in past tense?" asked Seville incredulously.  "Ol' Peepers is still currently a true fiend of the chocolate."

"Yeah, I think the Easter Bunny probably knows that, Seville," Nerissa informed his brother before turning back to the rabbit.  "We will be very pleased to accept this giant chocolate egg and I'm sure the Easter Bunny will understand how Seville and I will have to tell the peep that it's from us cats. Peep #1 has been cracking down on our teleportin' as we seem to have had a few uh...  ummm..."

"We've been gettin' into a lot trouble teleportin' around the world and messin' stuff up, is what Nerissa is trying to say," Seville blurted out.  "Honestly, I don't see what the trouble is.  So we messed up the space-time continuum a few times..."

"Anywho..." interrupted Nerissa. "SIVVERS....  PREPARE THE TELEPORTATION DEVICE," he cried and with that, the boys climbed into their flying frying pan with the giant chocolate egg nestled between them.

"As long as this egg really is made of chocolate and doesn't sprout arms and a desire to take over the world cocoa commodities market," Nerissa muttered.  "As long as it's just a plain ol' chocolate egg, the peep should be pretty pleased with what we've brought her, Seville.  Pleased enough to ignore the fact that we've been teleportin' again."

The two cats stared at the giant egg for a moment.

"Yeah, I think it's okay," stated Seville.  "It smells like chocolate to me."

a request for assistance

Nissy raced into the kitchen.  The toaster transporter was dinging incessantly and he knew there must be an urgent message awaiting him. Skidding to a halt and hopping up onto the counter, he peered into the toaster.

"Yeah, would you mind answering that toaster?" Seville asked.  "The dinging is annoying.  It's disturbing my nap."

Nissy glanced over his shoulder to see his marmalade brother curled up on a kitchen chair.  Obviously, Seville had not considered to get up himself to see what message was coming through. Nissy watched as his brother let out a giant yawn, closed his eyes once more and fell back asleep.

Scattered around the toaster were several hard-boiled eggs, each painted with the letters S, O and S.  Another ding coughed up a couple more.  Clearly, someone was in trouble and needing his help.

A loud explosion in the back yard startled Seville, awakening him from his nap so violently that it caused him to jump straight up into the air and hit his head on the ceiling.  "For crying out loud!" he cried.

Nissy looked out the kitchen window.  The sky had darkened and the air had become hazy.  A pinprick of light appeared out of nowhere and from it, time waves began to emanate.  This anomaly was going to require immediate investigation.

Venturing outside, Nissy cautiously approached the disturbance in the space-time continuum. "What the mouses is that?" he asked Seville who had followed him outside and was now sitting beside him.  "MOUSES!  I've never seen anything like it.  Have you?"

The two cats watched as hundreds of butterflies began to fly out of the vortex.  Never before had a vortex created a butterfly effect.  Whoever had opened it was certainly not using egg beater-whisk time travelling-teleportation technology.  Some other kind of technology was at work here.

Mesmerised, the cats sat there, watching the butterflies flit this way and that.  Seville swatted a couple with a paw but they escaped, unscathed.  Moments later, there was a loud thud and out of the vortex rolled a giant painted egg.  The egg righted itself and out popped two arms.  As it came to life, a face appeared.

"MOUSES!" cried the cats in unison.

"Hello there.  Egg Sackly is the name," and the giant egg reached toward Nissy to shake his paw.  "You must be Nerissa the Cat.  Very pleased to meet you."  Turning to Seville he said, "and I assume you are the brother, Seville?"

The cats stared at Mr. Sackly in disbelief.

"You're probably wondering about my unexpected visit.  We've been sending messages to you all morning but your toaster transporter appears to be malfunctioning."

"Those eggs were from you?" Nissy asked.

"Ah, so you did get my messages.  Never thought to reply?" and the egg sighed loudly.

"Sorry 'bout that," explained Nissy.  "Only got the messages a few minutes ago and I didn't know from whom they were coming.  Please tell me what's going on and how I can help."

"We're facing a major catastrophe over at Easter Bunny Headquarters.  If the matter isn't resolved within the next few days, Easter morning egg deliveries will be in jeopardy.  In fact, they already are. This matter needs to be attended to urgently and the top bun felt you were the only cats for the job."

"You mean that the Easter Bunny himself has requested our assistance?" Seville asked, incredulously.

"He most certainly has although," and the egg cleared his throat, "he really requested the assistance of Nerissa the Cat but is aware that the marmalade side kick is part of the bargain."

"SIDE KICK!  Of all the nerve," sputtered Seville.  "I'll show you a kick," and he raised a hind leg. Thinking this might be going a little far, Seville lowered his leg before peering under Egg Sackly. "Ummm...  by the way, how come you don't have any legs?" he asked the egg.

"I'm an egg.  Eggs don't have legs," he answered.  Turning back to Nerissa the egg instructed, "You'll need to follow me back through the vortex.  Prepare to duck and roll."

Nissy peered into the vortex, narrowing his eyes.  "Yeah, I don't think we're gonna do the ol' ducking and rolling bit.  We have our own mode of transport.  SIVVERS," and he turned to his brother, "PREPARE THE TELEPORTATION DEVICE."

Moments later, the two cats and Mr. Egg Sackly were hurtling through space and time, heading towards Easter Bunny Headquarters.

"Can't this flying frying pan contraption go any faster," cried the egg?  "Time is of the essence.  Easter is at stake!"

"Faster?  You want to go faster?" asked Seville.  "I have the whisks whisking full blast.  We're travelling forward in space but backwards in time.  We'll arrive before you even left.  Gosh," he turned to Nerissa and hissed, "Eggs sure are impatient."

"And I think this one is a little soft in the centre," Nissy muttered under his breath.  "He seems to have forgotten just who is doin' whom the favours around here.  On the other paw, he might be feelin' a little nervous about bein' in...  well...  you know...  'Bout bein' in a fryin' pan, if you know what I mean.  I'm hopin' we'll get some better Intel once we can speak to an actual bunny."

Landing gently in a grassy field, the cats and egg climbed out of the frying pan teleportation device. Nissy had to admit that Egg Sackly was looking mightily relieved to be on solid ground, once more.

Nerissa looked around.  There were painted eggs scattered everywhere.  Scattered around like wild flowers growing amidst the grass.  Multitudes of butterflies danced in the air and Seville took another swipe at one.  It flew off, only to replaced by several others.   Off in the distance, loomed an ancient castle.  Nissy wondered if that castle was the Easter Bunny's Headquarters.

A small white rabbit approached them, hopping through the painted eggs.  "Nerissa?  Nerissa the Cat?  Thank goodness you are here!" the bunny exclaimed.

"Ummm...  are you the Easter Bunny?" Nissy asked.

"Goodness no!  But I do work here at Bunny Headquarters.  We have a real problem on our paws," stated the rabbit.  "Our only key to the chocolate vault has been either lost or stolen and without it, we can't access the goodies needed for Easter morning deliveries.  Millions of children around the world are eagerly awaiting Easter morning and without that key, we'll let them all down."

"But there are eggs all over the place," interrupted Seville, batting at one between his two front paws. "They're everywhere.  Just look at them all."

"That's just a drop in the bucket," explained the rabbit.  "We need far more than that.  We anticipate requiring approximately four billion, nine hundred and sixty-three million, two hundred and fourteen thousand, eight hundred and eleven chocolate eggs for Easter morning.  Also, seven million, eight hundred and sixty-two thousand, five hundred and forty..."

"Did you say, billion?" sputtered Seville.

"Did you say, approximately?" asked Nerissa.

"The point is," continued the rabbit, "we need access to that vault.  Nerissa, your reputation precedes you.  Only you and your brother are capable of returning that key to us.  Are you willing to accept this assignment?

Smiling broadly, Nerissa was just about to answer with a resounding yes when he was distracted by the sound of eggs cracking as Seville managed to smash two of them together.

"What?" asked Seville looking up, innocently.  "And by the way, have you ever thought of filling these things with nip?"


Be sure to return on Sunday April 20th for part two of the cats' Easter adventure.