and she's down

And she's down.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' that that ol' peep of mine - aka Peepers - was bein' a clumsy clutzy clutz, doin' somethin' she shouldn't be doin', and has gone and fallen down.

AGAIN.

MOUSES!

Now, I'm not sayin' she falls down a lot.  No, she actually doesn't fall down all that much.  But when she does, it's usually a doozy, for sure.

MOUSES!

But you see...

But you see, when Peepers does fall down, it's usually with good reason.

Okay, so maybe not GOOD reason.  What I'm tryin' to say is that she doesn't just lose her balance or somethin' and fall down.  Her balance is actually pretty good.  But sometimes...

Sometimes...

Sometimes she does things that are just. Plain. Ol'. STUPID.  And let me tell you somethin', my friends: doin' stupid stuff can easily make a peep fall down.

MOUSES!

Stupid stuff like racin' around in the garden past dusk, forgettin' there are plant pots scattered all around.   Now that's the kinda stupid stuff that can easily make a peep fall down.

MOUSES!

But let me get back to the topic at paw.  The thing is...

The thing is...

The thing is, when I said she was down, I wasn't actually talkin' about the peep.  No sirree, I wasn't talkin' about Peepers, at all.  In fact, I wasn't even talkin' about A peep, if you know what I mean.  I was talkin'...

I was talkin'...

I was talkin' about that ol' green bin, you see.

MOUSES!

Yup, it's stormy and rainy over here.  Mild...  Well mild for January in Canada, that is.  7C and pelting rain.

AND THE WIND!

Oh, the wind is blowin' and blowin'.  It's blowin' up a real storm, to be sure.  Why, that ol' wind is blowin' so hard...

So very hard...

That ol' wind is blowin' so hard, it went and blew the ol' green bin that was standin' at the end of the driveway - on account of it bein' garbage day, today - right down.  Knocked 'er of her wheels and everythin'.  The green bin is now lyin' on the ground.

Where's it's gonna stay for the near foreseeable future, the peep says.

'Til the weather quietens down.

MOUSES!

Good thing, too.  Good thing Peepers isn't all hell-bent on racin' down the driveway in this ol' storm, dodgin' raindrops and flyin' debris, just to stand that ol' green bin back up and wheel it back to the house, 'cause...

'CAUSE THAT'S THE KINDA STUPID STUFF THAT MAKES A PEEP GO AND FALL DOWN.

Hear that, Peepers?

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

stuff

Stuff.

Yup, you heard that correctly: STUFF.

Yes sirree, today I, Seville the Cat, will be blogging 'bout stuff.

Stuff of catastrophic and apocalyptic proportions, that is.

MOUSES!

So let me tell you all about what happened yesterday.

The day started out just fine.  It was gonna rain a lot.  The weatherpeeps warned us all about that.  And you know weatherpeeps: sometimes they get it right, sometimes they get it wrong, and most of the time it's somewhere in between.  But when they say it's gonna rain buckets, it's probably gonna rain at least a bit.  'Nough to carry an umbrella, at least.

MOUSES!

But what they didn't tell us...  Or at least they didn't emphasise it enough...  Was all 'bout the other STUFF.

MOUSES!

But back to the start of the day.  The START of the day was just fine.  Even saw the sun for a minute or two.  Okay, so maybe 'bout ten seconds.

But then sometime after lunch...

Sometime after lunch, the winds started howlin' like I've never heard winds howl before.  At least not in the past few months, that is.  The winds were howlin' and stuff - yup, STUFF - was thrashin' about and there was somethin' thump, thump, thumpin' on the roof.  I don't wanna know what.

And the rain!  Well the rain was not so much rainin' as bein' DUMPED DOWN from above.

MOUSES!

At one point, Peepers looked out a window and noticed the cover of one of her two little greenhouses had come off.  So out she went, thinkin' she'd put it back on, but the wind was so strong the cover acted like a sail and there was no way, no how, that she could get that cover to cooperate at all.  Best she could do was anchor it to the ground with a couple cement blocks.

A little while later, Peepers looked out that same window again, and noticed the OTHER cover had come off.  So out she went, knowin' she wouldn't be able to put it back on its frame, but thought she'd be able to anchor it, too, to the ground with some more of those cement blocks.

But when she went out...

Well when she went out, not only was the cover for the greenhouse gone, but the greenhouse was gone as well!

MOUSES!

But way over on the other side of the yard...

Way over on the other side of the yard, Peepers found said greenhouse and cover.  She dragged first the frame back to where it belonged, anchored it down with the metal thingies for anchorin' that had been all strewn about the yard, and then tossed a couple cement blocks over the cover.

Good thing the woman has lots of cement blocks.

MOUSES!

And then...

Well that's when the actual pandemonium and chaotic mayhem ensued, resultin' in some bodily injury, carnage, and maiming.  I'm gonna save that part 'til Sunday's blog post, I think.  Too much to talk about here.

MOUSES!

And after the chaos of the part I'm savin' for later, Peepers decided to go for the mail.  Needless to say, she decided to drive and not walk.  No explanation needed

And that's when she saw the destruction and carnage around.  Not so much on our street, but two streets down, there was a mattress lyin' right there on the ground.  Now I've watched Peepers flip a mattress before and let me tell you somethin', my friends: it is not a pretty sight.  And afterwards, the peep is kinda pooped to be sure.

NO, not pooped as in poopies in her pants, but pooped as in pooped.  You know, pooped as in tired, I believe.

SO CAN YOU IMAGINE how strong that wind must have been to blow a full-sized mattress right down the street?

MOUSES!

This mornin', Peepers and I took a good walk 'round the garden.  Some branches are down.  Gutters at the back of the house are gonna need fixin'.  But the really important thing is...

MY CATNIP PLANTS ARE SAFE AND SOUND.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

tail wind

Let us talk, my friends.  Let us talk about...

About tail winds.  Yup, let's talk 'bout tail winds, right here on my blog.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' I'm talkin' about lactose intolerant kitties gettin' into the cheese, and passin' some wind from the ol' tail area back there, aren't ya?

Well you know what?  You'd be wrong about that.

MOUSES!

Although truth be told, that might very well be a topic for another blog post on another day.  But I'd have to call that post, STINKY Tail Winds, I do believe.

MOUSES!

So anyway....

So anyway, the other day I was out in the garden with the peep, and the wind was blowin' somethin' awful.  It was blowin' and blowin' and blowin', my friends.

It was blowin' so hard...

How hard was it blowin', you ask?

It was blowin' so hard, my tail got caught up in that ol' wind and my gosh, I slapped myself in the face with my very own tail.

Talk about TAIL winds.

MOUSES!

Yes, it's true, although I'm tryin' to spread the rumour that I didn't so much whack myself in the face with my own tail as I uh...  Um...  Well as I CAUGHT my own tail, a feat very few cats can do.

Yeah, that's the ticket.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of tickets...

Speakin' of tickets, I bet I could have sold tickets to that show, for sure.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of tickets, AGAIN...

Speakin' of tickets again, you ever get a speedin' ticket on account of a tail wind pushing you so hard across the backyard that you were travellin' so fast you exceeded the speed limit?

Yeah, well neither have I, but that's probably on account of the fact that in my own backyard, there is no speed limit posted, and NOT on account of my not goin' too fast, 'CAUSE IF THERE WERE a posted speed limit, I would have exceeded it, for sure.

MOUSES!

Yup, that's how strong the wind here was.

The wind was so strong...

The wind was so strong, it blew all the remaining leaves off the trees.  The wind was so strong, it blew shingles off the roofs.  (Not our roof, thank goodness, but the peep did find a stray shingle from someone's roof out back.  It was the wrong colour to be ours.)  The wind was so strong, the neighbours' gazebo tent kinda thingy they had set up for Hallowe'en blew down and got a little ripped up or somethin' in the process.  The wind was so strong...

Well let's just say, the wind was so strong, when I was out in the garden that day, that ol' wind almost picked me right up and blew me away.

Now THAT, my friends, is a TAIL WIND, for sure.
 
MOUSES!

And in other news...

In other news, Rushy's long fur got ruffled up like no cat's fur has ever been ruffled up, before.  And as for the peep's ponytail...

Well the description of that tail wind will have to wait for another day.

Once I stop laughing myself silly at the thought of it, that is.

MOUSES!

And in some other, other news...

The peep appears to be missing one black tarp, used, an odd hole here and there, last seen November 1st, in our garden, insufficiently anchored to the ground.

MOUSES!

it's HOWLIN' outside

Gosh it's a howlin' out there.

MOUSES!

HEY PEEPERS!  You have laundry out on the line?

Well I'm thinkin' you don't have any, anymore.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, the wind has been blowin' and blowin' and blowin' like...  Like I don't know what.  Like a Scotsman with a bagpipe in a let's-see-who-can-blow-the-hardest-and-make-the-most-noise-with-this-here-bagpipe contest, perhaps?

Seriously, I'm thinkin' Mother Nature put the fans on full blast, then forgot to turn 'em off or somethin'.

MOUSES!

HEY PEEPERS!  You have a bright blue plastic dress in a ginormous size out there on that line?

Never mind.  I think it might have been some kinda tarp.

MOUSES!

SO ANYWAY...

So anyway, like I was sayin', the wind has been blowin' like blowin' is goin' out of style.

Hmmm...

You think that could happen?  You think that...

*CRASH*

What the mouses was that?

Oh, it's okay.  Nothin' to worry about, I see.  It was just Rushy comin' in from the storm, and the door slammed shut behind him.

What were you doin' out there, anyway, Rushton?  You tryin' to...

Wait a minute.  What's wrong with your fur?  It's all uh...

Um...

Seriously, Rushy, you look like you went and stuck your claw in an electrical outlet or somethin'.  As far as I can tell, nothin' is singed, but...  But how come it's stickin' out all over the place in every imaginable direction under the sun?  Not that it's sunny today, but you get my drift, I am sure.

The wind did that, huh?

Wow.

MOUSES!

By the way, when you were outside, did you happen to notice if my nip plants were tucked into their beds, all safe and sound?

You were too busy tryin' not to get blown away, you say?

Awww...  MOUSES!

And you had to dodge a flyin' blue tarp?

YOU DON'T SAY.

MOUSES!

Nah, I'm not goin' outside in that.  Not even to go check on the nip plants.  I mean, you'd have to be ONE CRAZY CAT to...

Sorry, Rushy.  I know.  No, no one said you were crazy.

At least in not so many words.

And at least not today.

And even though I MIGHT be thinkin' it, what I'm THINKIN', doesn't count.  A cat can't be blamed for his thoughts, now can he.

He can?

MOUSES!

Apparently, the thought police are at it again.

HEY PEEPERS!   What colour are the tiles on our roof?

Nothin'.  Just wonderin', is all.

FINE.  If you insist on knowin', I saw somethin' fly by that looked suspiciously like a roof tile, but there's no way to know WHOSE roof tile it might have been.  Could have belonged to pretty much anybody, when you think about it.  I mean, a wind like what's out there is probably strong enough to blow a wee little roof tile for miles and miles and miles, you know?  Could even have come from someone's house on another street.  Or even another town!

MOUSES!

HEY PEEPERS!  You know that pile of brush you had at the bottom of the garden?

And believe-you-me, HAD IS the operative word.

Well uh...

Um...

You might wanna go check on that.

AND IF YOU'RE HEADIN' OUTSIDE TO PROTECT THE FEW TWIGS THAT ARE LEFT, CHECK ON MY NIP PLANTS WHILE YOU'RE OUT THERE, WOULD YA?  It's a little breezy outside, and I'm a tad bit worried 'bout them.  I'd go and check on 'em myself, but I don't want the wind messin' up my fur.  Did you SEE what it did to Rushy's?

MOUSES!