Gosh it's a howlin' out there.
HEY PEEPERS! You have laundry out on the line?
Well I'm thinkin' you don't have any, anymore.
So anyway, the wind has been blowin' and blowin' and blowin' like... Like I don't know what. Like a Scotsman with a bagpipe in a let's-see-who-can-blow-the-hardest-and-make-the-most-noise-with-this-here-bagpipe contest, perhaps?
Seriously, I'm thinkin' Mother Nature put the fans on full blast, then forgot to turn 'em off or somethin'.
HEY PEEPERS! You have a bright blue plastic dress in a ginormous size out there on that line?
Never mind. I think it might have been some kinda tarp.
So anyway, like I was sayin', the wind has been blowin' like blowin' is goin' out of style.
You think that could happen? You think that...
What the mouses was that?
Oh, it's okay. Nothin' to worry about, I see. It was just Rushy comin' in from the storm, and the door slammed shut behind him.
What were you doin' out there, anyway, Rushton? You tryin' to...
Wait a minute. What's wrong with your fur? It's all uh...
Seriously, Rushy, you look like you went and stuck your claw in an electrical outlet or somethin'. As far as I can tell, nothin' is singed, but... But how come it's stickin' out all over the place in every imaginable direction under the sun? Not that it's sunny today, but you get my drift, I am sure.
The wind did that, huh?
By the way, when you were outside, did you happen to notice if my nip plants were tucked into their beds, all safe and sound?
You were too busy tryin' not to get blown away, you say?
And you had to dodge a flyin' blue tarp?
YOU DON'T SAY.
Nah, I'm not goin' outside in that. Not even to go check on the nip plants. I mean, you'd have to be ONE CRAZY CAT to...
Sorry, Rushy. I know. No, no one said you were crazy.
At least in not so many words.
And at least not today.
And even though I MIGHT be thinkin' it, what I'm THINKIN', doesn't count. A cat can't be blamed for his thoughts, now can he.
Apparently, the thought police are at it again.
HEY PEEPERS! What colour are the tiles on our roof?
Nothin'. Just wonderin', is all.
FINE. If you insist on knowin', I saw somethin' fly by that looked suspiciously like a roof tile, but there's no way to know WHOSE roof tile it might have been. Could have belonged to pretty much anybody, when you think about it. I mean, a wind like what's out there is probably strong enough to blow a wee little roof tile for miles and miles and miles, you know? Could even have come from someone's house on another street. Or even another town!
HEY PEEPERS! You know that pile of brush you had at the bottom of the garden?
And believe-you-me, HAD IS the operative word.
You might wanna go check on that.
AND IF YOU'RE HEADIN' OUTSIDE TO PROTECT THE FEW TWIGS THAT ARE LEFT, CHECK ON MY NIP PLANTS WHILE YOU'RE OUT THERE, WOULD YA? It's a little breezy outside, and I'm a tad bit worried 'bout them. I'd go and check on 'em myself, but I don't want the wind messin' up my fur. Did you SEE what it did to Rushy's?