a request for assistance

Nissy raced into the kitchen.  The toaster transporter was dinging incessantly and he knew there must be an urgent message awaiting him. Skidding to a halt and hopping up onto the counter, he peered into the toaster.

"Yeah, would you mind answering that toaster?" Seville asked.  "The dinging is annoying.  It's disturbing my nap."

Nissy glanced over his shoulder to see his marmalade brother curled up on a kitchen chair.  Obviously, Seville had not considered to get up himself to see what message was coming through. Nissy watched as his brother let out a giant yawn, closed his eyes once more and fell back asleep.

Scattered around the toaster were several hard-boiled eggs, each painted with the letters S, O and S.  Another ding coughed up a couple more.  Clearly, someone was in trouble and needing his help.

A loud explosion in the back yard startled Seville, awakening him from his nap so violently that it caused him to jump straight up into the air and hit his head on the ceiling.  "For crying out loud!" he cried.

Nissy looked out the kitchen window.  The sky had darkened and the air had become hazy.  A pinprick of light appeared out of nowhere and from it, time waves began to emanate.  This anomaly was going to require immediate investigation.

Venturing outside, Nissy cautiously approached the disturbance in the space-time continuum. "What the mouses is that?" he asked Seville who had followed him outside and was now sitting beside him.  "MOUSES!  I've never seen anything like it.  Have you?"

The two cats watched as hundreds of butterflies began to fly out of the vortex.  Never before had a vortex created a butterfly effect.  Whoever had opened it was certainly not using egg beater-whisk time travelling-teleportation technology.  Some other kind of technology was at work here.

Mesmerised, the cats sat there, watching the butterflies flit this way and that.  Seville swatted a couple with a paw but they escaped, unscathed.  Moments later, there was a loud thud and out of the vortex rolled a giant painted egg.  The egg righted itself and out popped two arms.  As it came to life, a face appeared.

"MOUSES!" cried the cats in unison.

"Hello there.  Egg Sackly is the name," and the giant egg reached toward Nissy to shake his paw.  "You must be Nerissa the Cat.  Very pleased to meet you."  Turning to Seville he said, "and I assume you are the brother, Seville?"

The cats stared at Mr. Sackly in disbelief.

"You're probably wondering about my unexpected visit.  We've been sending messages to you all morning but your toaster transporter appears to be malfunctioning."

"Those eggs were from you?" Nissy asked.

"Ah, so you did get my messages.  Never thought to reply?" and the egg sighed loudly.

"Sorry 'bout that," explained Nissy.  "Only got the messages a few minutes ago and I didn't know from whom they were coming.  Please tell me what's going on and how I can help."

"We're facing a major catastrophe over at Easter Bunny Headquarters.  If the matter isn't resolved within the next few days, Easter morning egg deliveries will be in jeopardy.  In fact, they already are. This matter needs to be attended to urgently and the top bun felt you were the only cats for the job."

"You mean that the Easter Bunny himself has requested our assistance?" Seville asked, incredulously.

"He most certainly has although," and the egg cleared his throat, "he really requested the assistance of Nerissa the Cat but is aware that the marmalade side kick is part of the bargain."

"SIDE KICK!  Of all the nerve," sputtered Seville.  "I'll show you a kick," and he raised a hind leg. Thinking this might be going a little far, Seville lowered his leg before peering under Egg Sackly. "Ummm...  by the way, how come you don't have any legs?" he asked the egg.

"I'm an egg.  Eggs don't have legs," he answered.  Turning back to Nerissa the egg instructed, "You'll need to follow me back through the vortex.  Prepare to duck and roll."

Nissy peered into the vortex, narrowing his eyes.  "Yeah, I don't think we're gonna do the ol' ducking and rolling bit.  We have our own mode of transport.  SIVVERS," and he turned to his brother, "PREPARE THE TELEPORTATION DEVICE."

Moments later, the two cats and Mr. Egg Sackly were hurtling through space and time, heading towards Easter Bunny Headquarters.

"Can't this flying frying pan contraption go any faster," cried the egg?  "Time is of the essence.  Easter is at stake!"

"Faster?  You want to go faster?" asked Seville.  "I have the whisks whisking full blast.  We're travelling forward in space but backwards in time.  We'll arrive before you even left.  Gosh," he turned to Nerissa and hissed, "Eggs sure are impatient."

"And I think this one is a little soft in the centre," Nissy muttered under his breath.  "He seems to have forgotten just who is doin' whom the favours around here.  On the other paw, he might be feelin' a little nervous about bein' in...  well...  you know...  'Bout bein' in a fryin' pan, if you know what I mean.  I'm hopin' we'll get some better Intel once we can speak to an actual bunny."

Landing gently in a grassy field, the cats and egg climbed out of the frying pan teleportation device. Nissy had to admit that Egg Sackly was looking mightily relieved to be on solid ground, once more.

Nerissa looked around.  There were painted eggs scattered everywhere.  Scattered around like wild flowers growing amidst the grass.  Multitudes of butterflies danced in the air and Seville took another swipe at one.  It flew off, only to replaced by several others.   Off in the distance, loomed an ancient castle.  Nissy wondered if that castle was the Easter Bunny's Headquarters.

A small white rabbit approached them, hopping through the painted eggs.  "Nerissa?  Nerissa the Cat?  Thank goodness you are here!" the bunny exclaimed.

"Ummm...  are you the Easter Bunny?" Nissy asked.

"Goodness no!  But I do work here at Bunny Headquarters.  We have a real problem on our paws," stated the rabbit.  "Our only key to the chocolate vault has been either lost or stolen and without it, we can't access the goodies needed for Easter morning deliveries.  Millions of children around the world are eagerly awaiting Easter morning and without that key, we'll let them all down."

"But there are eggs all over the place," interrupted Seville, batting at one between his two front paws. "They're everywhere.  Just look at them all."

"That's just a drop in the bucket," explained the rabbit.  "We need far more than that.  We anticipate requiring approximately four billion, nine hundred and sixty-three million, two hundred and fourteen thousand, eight hundred and eleven chocolate eggs for Easter morning.  Also, seven million, eight hundred and sixty-two thousand, five hundred and forty..."

"Did you say, billion?" sputtered Seville.

"Did you say, approximately?" asked Nerissa.

"The point is," continued the rabbit, "we need access to that vault.  Nerissa, your reputation precedes you.  Only you and your brother are capable of returning that key to us.  Are you willing to accept this assignment?

Smiling broadly, Nerissa was just about to answer with a resounding yes when he was distracted by the sound of eggs cracking as Seville managed to smash two of them together.

"What?" asked Seville looking up, innocently.  "And by the way, have you ever thought of filling these things with nip?"


Be sure to return on Sunday April 20th for part two of the cats' Easter adventure.

our conclusion and a new beginning

Previously on Savannah's Paw Tracks... then a sudden vacuum of air and Savannah can hardly catch her breath…everything blurs…%$##ZAP*&%$##…Savannah feels someone snatch her up by her scruff and then…

"INCOMING!" Nissy hollered as he grabbed his pal, Savvy, by the scruff of her neck and hauled her up and into his frying pan teleportation device.

"Hold on Savvy.  HOLD ON.  CAN'T STOP.  BRAKES HAVE FAILED!"

Nissy quickly veered westward and the two cats tumbled through the space-time continuum on their way to meet with Silver in New Zealand.  "Turbulence ahead.  Hang on to the handle of the fryin' pan, Savvy!  HANG ON FOR DEAR LIFE!  HANG ON FOR ALL NINE OF 'EM!"

"YOOWWWW!" yelled Savannah in response.  "What the mouses are you up to, Nissy?"  The turbulence eased and Savvy glared at her friend.  "You were supposed to meet me at my house and we were going to teleport to Silver's by tunnel."

"Couldn't be helped, Savvy.  Lost part of an egg beater somewhere over Ohio."  Nissy fiddled with some dials.  "Yup, just as I thought," and he tossed part of another eggbeater overboard.  "This will work.  I'll cut power somewhere over the Pacific and we'll coast the rest of the way to New Zealand." He pointed to the grocery bag nestled in a corner of the frying pan.  "Help yourself to some snacks."

Savannah tore open a bag of temptations, ignoring the fruit and other unsuitable foodstuffs lying before her.  Nissy had clearly relied upon one of his peeps to pack his snacks.

"Buckle up, Savvy," began Nissy.  "We're comin' in for a landing, now," and the two cats gently drifted onto a prettily manicured lawn somewhere in New Zealand.

"You're here!" cried Silver as he ran out to greet his friends.  "How wonderful!"  Silver looked warily at the frying pan with half an egg beater sticking out of it.  "Rough trip?"

"You don't know the half of it," stated Savvy as she jumped out and onto the grass.  "Nissy, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times.  I DON'T TRUST THAT EGG BEATER TELEPORTATION TECHNOLOGY OF YOURS."

"It got you here," Nissy shrugged, "and you appear to be all in one piece.  Attitude and everything."

"I do not have attitude," said Savvy, pursing her lips.  "I just don't trust those flying frying pans you and your brother build.  Especially when Seville has been known to use refurbished beaters."

"State of the art egg beater technology, this is," and Nissy slapped a paw against the teleportation device.  The three cats watched in silence as the rest of the remaining egg beater fell to the ground and landed with a loud thud.

"Anywho..." and Nissy quickly ushered Savvy and Silver toward the house and garage and away from his teleportation device.  "Silver!  You found Dash's workshop, you say.  So exciting.  Show us the way."

"Shouldn't we park your um...   frying pan thing somewhere out of sight?" asked Silver.  "You know, to keep it safe?"

Nissy looked back over his shoulder.  "Yeah...  I don't think it's goin' anywhere anytime soon. MOUSES!"

Silver led Savvy and Nissy through the garage and into the massive library.  The two newcomers peered around with astonishment.  What a collection of information Dash had amassed.  No wonder he had known so much about so many things.  They then entered the inner sanctum... Dash's workshop.  Silver pointed out the various projects Dash had been working on, including the half-built contraption that looked like some sort of vehicle.  "Do you think it's a new kind of teleportation device?" asked Silver.

Nissy walked around it, getting a good look from all angles. "No, not for teleportation.  Don't see any egg beaters."

"You and your brother are the only ones who teleport with egg beaters, Nissy!" exclaimed Savvy.  She gave the device the once over, herself, sliding underneath it on her back. Moments later, she appeared with a huge grin on her face. "There are tanks under there for an air supply.  I think Dash was building a submarine of some sort."

The three cats stared at one another in silence.  They then stared at the sub in awe and then back at each other.

Silver reached into a nearby cabinet drawer, pulling out the note Dash had left about a pink phone. "Do either of you know anything about this?"

"Dash was makin' notes about the phone we found on our last adventure, huh?"  Nissy held the pink cell phone out for the others to see.  "This is the phone in question.  Appears normal enough except there was a message about the Necata canipbis left on it and no one but us knew about that nip. Oh, and the chip inside it is made from something I've never seen before.  It contains an element heavier than anything known to cat.  Seville ran some tests but so far, he has found nothing conclusive."

"But how can it contain an element not yet known to cat?" asked Savvy.

"Nuclear reactions can produce new, heavy elements.  Is it stable?"  Nissy and Savvy dropped their jaws and stared at Silver.  "What?  I read things," explained Silver.  "I've never read anything about that, though.  Being here in Dash's workshop...   I feel a real connection to him and his work.  I must have once heard him muttering about heavy elements or something."

"Look at this," and Savvy pointed to what looked like a pocket inside the sub.  "What do you suppose this is?"

Silver gently pawed at the pocket.  "Nissy, let me see that phone," and he pushed the pink cell phone inside.  It fit, perfectly.

A gentle whirring sound began, quietly at first but with each passing moment, it slowly grew louder and louder.  A few lights within the vehicle began to flicker.  The submarine was coming to life.

Nissy noticed that Savvy had with her the stainless steel whisk they had found alongside the cell phone on their last adventure.  Snatching it away, he began looking for someplace in the sub where it might fit.  Finding a round hole in what appeared to be the sub's dashboard, he inserted the whisk.

As if by magic, the submarine rose several inches from the floor.  The whirring sound was quite loud by this time and lights were flashing off and on.

Savvy pushed past Nissy and grabbed hold of the whisk, yanking it out of the dash.  "Are you nuts? You can't just go sticking whisks into things and crossing your paws for the best.  You could have transported us all to a different time!" she cried before yanking the cell phone out of the pocket where Silver had inserted it.

The submarine dropped to the floor with a thump.  The lights flickered out.  The whirring noises ceased.

"Whew!" breathed Savvy, wiping her brow.  "Close call."

Silver turned towards the others, grinning from ear to ear.  "With your expertise, we can finish Dash's work.  I know we can.  Those are seats over there," and he pointed to the pink leather seats ready for installation, "and I'm sure everything else we need to complete the sub is somewhere in this workshop.  What do you think?"

Nissy and Savvy looked at one another, huge smiles forming on their faces, too.  "Of course we can!" they cried in unison.

"But where will we go?" queried Savvy.  "Why did Dash think we needed a submarine?"

Silver pulled out the little box he had found a few days earlier.  "I wasn't going to show you this just yet.  Not until I understood its significance.  Also, Dash left a note on it saying to keep it away from Nissy."  He opened the box and the aroma of Necata canipbis filled the room.

"MOUSES!" Savvy cried.

Nissy was over at the box in a flash.  He breathed in deeply before slamming it shut.  "Best you hold onto that for a bit, Silver.  That's the long-lost, thought-to-be-extinct species of Necata canipbis." Nissy sniffed the air, catching remnants of the nip's aroma here and there.

"I think it's safe to assume that Dash was hot on the trail of the nip.  We've just gotta figure out where that trail led. Must have led somewhere with water, I should think," glancing over at the sub. "But in the meantime...  we've got some building to do.  Savvy, where should we start?"

"We should start by installing these gorgeous pink leather seats," determined Savvy.  "They're the perfect colour for a cat like me.  Nissy... Silver...  help me get these into the sub," and the three cats began to work on finishing Dash's cat-sized submarine.

the plantin' of primroses

You know...  Peep #1 grows primroses like I build teleportation devices.

Whenever I see Ol' Peepers goin' through the house, scrounging around, gathering up things you normally wouldn't gather up together, I know she's up to somethin'.  Up to somethin' like plantin' primroses.  Not that long ago, I witnessed just such an event.

Ol' Peepers was diggin' in the kitchen drawers and cupboards lookin' for scissors and plastic wrap.  Then she found some black electrical tape and a marker in the basement.  When I saw her bringin' empty old coffee tins in from the garage, I figured she was up to no good.  When I saw her with a hammer and a nail, I knew she was up to no good.  Once I saw the plant tags, watering can and potting mix, I knew she was plannin' on making a mess.  The evidence was all there.  One plant-related mess was on its way, for sure.

The peep is really good at making messes.  She does it quite often and you know what they say. They say, practise makes perfect.  Well the peep has had a lot of practise with makin' messes so she makes them really well.

As I watched Ol' Peepers with her plastic wrap and electrical tape, I realised she was just an eggbeater and frying pan short of a teleportation device.   Throw in a whisk and she might manage a time machine.

It's at times like this when I realise that the peep isn't nearly as dense as she appears.  She actually has the makings of a fairly decent engineer in her.  Not quite there, though.  She has no grasp of the math required to fully understand the physics of egg beater-whisk time travelling-teleportation physics.  Complicated math like that really is best left up to us cats.  We understand it, instinctively.

Anywho...  you're probably all wonderin' what plastic wrap has to do with primroses.  Let me explain.

Every winter, the peep does the same thing.  When it's cold and snowy outside, she plants primrose seeds for my primrose garden.  I really do appreciate her planting the primroses 'cause, to be honest, I look really good posin' among them when they bloom.  They just sort of suit me or somethin'.

The first part of plantin' primroses is the noisiest part.  With the hammer and nail, she makes holes in the bottoms of all the coffee tins.  I am told that due to an impending shortage of coffee tins, this part of the process may no longer be needed.  Apparently, the kind of coffee she used to buy switched from bein' packaged in tins to bein' packaged in little bags.  Since the only reason she liked that particular brand of coffee was to gain access to the tins, she switched brands.  Alas, this new brand is also packaged in bags.

I can't imagine switchin' from my favourite brand of food just because of a change in packaging.  As long as the food inside is the same, I would be fine with it.  Peep #1 had better not get any ideas about switching my food so as to give her access to tins for the plantin' of primroses.  I like the primroses and all but I don't like them well enough to interfere with my meals.  Doin' something like that would be crazy.  Crazier than a squirrel makin' nut pies kind of crazy.  The peep had better come up with a new tin acquisition plan right away and that plan had better not have anythin' to do with the enjoyment of my meals, if you know what I mean.

But I digress.  Back to the peep's plantin'.

After she makes the holes in the the coffee tins, Peep #1 fills 'em up with potting mix.  She then soaks all that mix really well before squishin' it down - just a teeny bit - with her hand.  She usually gets her hands all dirty doin' this and then has to go wash 'em.  Like I said before, the peep messes stuff up really well.  She's even capable of messin' up herself!

The next step is to sprinkle the seeds on top of the potting mix.  I am not allowed to help with this part which I find to be extremely unfair.  Peep says the seeds are too small for me to be gettin' my paws in there.  I say, my paws are a whole lot smaller than the peep's hands and therefore I am much better suited to the task.  So far, the peep has not yet acquiesced on this point but give it time.  One day, I shall get my way.  I just know it.

The next step is to water in the seeds with some more water.  I don't know why it's called watering in.  Think the peep just says that to show off or somethin'.

Then she uses the marker to write the names of the primroses on plant tags and sets them down to dry.  This is another stage in which I am, unfairly, not allowed to participate.  She always mutters something about my getting permanent marker all over my paws but I think she's just makin' that up, too. Like I'm really gonna get that marker all over my paws.  MOUSES!

Once, my dad walked over the driveway right after the peep had put some sort of black stuff on it and before the black stuff had managed to dry.  Now that was a mess.  Then the peep had to take a wire brush to get the black stuff off the new brick pathway 'cause my dad had walked along that pathway right after walkin' over the not-yet-dry driveway.  A little bit of marker on my paws has NOTHIN' on driveway stuff paw prints all over a new brick pathway.  Peeps just like to make mountains out of mole hills, I think.  Always makin' somethin' out of nothin', they are.  MOUSES!

So the peep's next step is to cover the coffee tins and seeds with plastic wrap.  This is the best part of the whole show.  You ever watch a peep with plastic wrap?  PRICELESS.

Ol' Peepers can't manage plastic wrap usage to save her soul.  That plastic wrap outsmarts her every time.  It sticks where it shouldn't and never sticks where it should.  It gets all balled up and she has to pull it apart but if the pulling apart part proves too difficult, she has to start all over again. Then when she actually goes to tear it, it doesn't always tear.  Sometimes it just sort of pulls, gettin' thinner and thinner, holdin' on the rest of the wrap on the mother wrap roll for dear life.  That's usually about the time when I hear the peep cry, "MOUSES!"   I've even seen her stomp her feet in frustration.  Always a fun show to watch, for sure.  Almost as good as Bird TV.

Eventually, the peep manages to get two layers of plastic wrap over each of the coffee tins.  Then she wraps the electrical tape around the plastic wrap to secure it because, as everyone knows, plastic wrap never sticks to what it's supposed to stick.  Only sticks to everything else.  And somewhere in the wrappin' of the electrical tap, the plant tags get attached to the outside of the tins.

Well Ol' Peepers has planted up a dozen or more coffee tins with primrose seed and put 'em all out on the veranda.  Don't know what other peeps think when they come to my front door.  You have to admit, seein' rows of coffee tins by someone's front door is a pretty weird thing to see.  Well, I think it's weird.  Maybe peeps out there just find it to be normal.  Who knows, really.  Peeps do weird things all the time so maybe they're used to seein' other peeps doin' weird things, too.

I wanted to show you some pictures of the mess the peep made with her coffee tins and electrical tape but, to be honest, it was a mess and just looked weird.  Then I thought I might grab a couple of whisks and travel forward in time to get some pictures of me with the primroses when they're big enough to bloom.  But then I realised I didn't have to do any time travelin' for pictures 'cause I know the peep already has pictures of me with primroses, blooming in years past.  So I grabbed a few shots from the computer and put 'em up here on my blog.  Hope you like 'em.

I have to admit, the peep does grow some pretty primroses.  I can't wait 'til May when they're blooming again.  I'm gonna pose in them and have Ol' Peepers take my picture, I think.  Should be nice.  Pictures of me posin' in the primroses are always nice.  Don't you agree?