hey Peepers!

Hey Peepers!  You wanna keep it down, out there? I'm tryin' to get some work done. I'm workin' on The Next Great Canadian Novel, and I need some peace and quiet, for sure. MOUSES!


What's that, Peepers? Why am I workin' on The Next Great Canadian Novel?  'Cause I'm a Canadian kitty, that's why.  Why do you think? MOUSES!


Sometimes I wonder 'bout my peeps.  Really and truly, I do.

Oh for mousin' out loud.

Peepers!  There's way too much noise goin' on outside.  What's with the ruckus?

Peepers!  PEEPERS!  Peepers?

Hmmm...  The peep does not appear to be out there.  Apparently, the ruckus bein' made is not her ruckus, after all.  MOUSES!

Hey Peepers!  You wanna tell those birds outside to keep it down?  I'm tryin' to get some work done in here, and they're makin' way too much noise and....

I don't know.  I have no idea.  Peepers, how am I supposed to know why they're squawkin' up a storm out there?  All I know is that they're squawking and their squawking is super loud.  I need you to tell 'em to shut up.  Would you mind doin' that for me?  Huh?  Could you do that now, please? Peepers?

Oh for mousin' out loud.

CROWS!  BLUE JAYS!  KNOCK IT OFF!  I'M WORKIN' IN HERE.  MOUSES!

There, that's better.  Now let's see...  Where was I?  Ah yes, page two.  Hmmm...

Hey Peepers!  You wanna tell those squirrels outside to keep it down?  I'm tryin' to get some work done in here and...

Never mind.  I'll do it myself.  MOUSES!

Oh Peepers...  PEEPERS...  PEEPERS!  You're needed outside.

No, that's not why I called you.  I already told the birds to be quiet.  I told the squirrels to, too, but when I was out there tellin' those squirrels to be quiet, I happened to notice Tess and she...

Peepers!  Are you listenin' to me, Peepers?  Tess.  Outside.  Squirrel.

What's that, Peepers?  You don't understand?  You have no idea what I'm talkin' about?  Typical. Typical peep, for sure.  MOUSES!

Peepers, I was tryin' to tell you that Tess is trottin' down the driveway with a live squirrel hangin' from her mouth.  Well at least she was trottin' down the driveway.  I have no idea where she is now.  For all I know, she might have already brought that squirrel into the house like Nissy used to do with chippies and...

That got her attention.  Wanna see a peep run?  Just tell 'em a cat is bringin' a live squirrel inside the house and...

What's that Peepers?  You can't find Tess?  You don't know where she is?  You need my help?

Let me tell you somethin', Peepers.  You need way more than MY help, and that is for sure.  And not just 'bout Tess and the squirrel, either.  You need help in so many ways, I can't even begin to...

Pardon me, Peepers?  You need my help right now?  You want me to stop babbling 'bout how much help you need and come outside right this instant and help you find Tess?  Really?  Really? REALLY?

Peepers, I'd love to help you out there.  Really and truly I would but...  But I'm a little busy at the mo.  Like I said, I'm workin' on THE NEXT GREAT CANADIAN NOVEL and I'd really like to get it done by Friday.  You know, on account of Friday bein' Canada Day and all and...

How far along am I, you ask?  Let me check.  Hmmm...

I'm on page three.

Peepers, how long do these great Canadian-type novels need to be?  You know anything about that sort of thing?

Really?  That long, huh?  Hmmm...

Awww...  MOUSES!

You know, I'm thinkin' I'd be a whole lot further into this novel of mine if the birds and the squirrels weren't makin' so much noise outside and...

PEEPERS!  Just had a Tess sighting.  She's back on the driveway.  The squirrel ran up the oak tree.  Thought you'd like to know.

Now...  Now back to my book.  I mean, novel.  Hmmm...  Page three...

Peepers, are you SURE these Great Canadian Novels need to be as long as that?  Are you SURE you've never heard of a Great Canadian Novel bein' about five pages long?  I think I can probably manage five pages by Friday.  Especially if I say MOUSES! a lot, and stuff.  And maybe if I use a larger print and...

Well my other option is to push back Canada Day but that would mean havin' everyone change their calendars and stuff.  Everyone from right across Canada.  From coast to coast to coast and...  I'm not sure I can get everyone to agree to that.

So Peepers, you honestly don't think five pages is long enough for The Next Great Canadian Novel?  Really? You're not just yankin' my chain?  Not that I ever wear a chain to yank but, you know...  You're serious about this, huh, Peepers?  Serious about five pages not bein' long enough?

Well what about six?  Would six pages be...

Six pages is too short, too?

Awww...  MOUSES!



                  HAPPY CANADA DAY EVERYBODY!
                 I hope you have a niptastic Canada Day, for sure.  MOUSES!