happy hallowe'en!

It was a dark and starless night.  Clouds hung like the heavy draperies covering the old windows of the house.  Cracks radiated outward from several of the panes of glass.  Others were foggy white, having been stained by neglect and time.  Steam rose from where Nerissa knew there to be swampy ground at the bottom of the garden and an unpleasant smell permeated the air.  Nissy turned up his nose at the stench.  Stagnant water and rotting plant material stunk, he thought to himself.  And who knows what else might be in that swamp?  He had heard of swamp monsters and whatnot.  On a night like this, such creatures would be out in full force...   not to mention the zombies.

Before him stood the old mansion.  It was so very old and in desperate need of repair.  Long gone were its days of glory.  Some said it was haunted.  Others said, just abandoned.  Could the previous owners have left because of ghostly hauntings?  Unearthly
                                                                   voices in the night? 

Nerissa paused at the front gate.  Should he enter and walk down the path?  Was it safe?  He looked to his right and then to his left.  His kitty buddies had forsaken him.  They were nowhere in sight.  He was alone.

For a moment, the sky brightened.  The moon peeked out from the behind the clouds.  It was full and the man who lived up there seemed to be laughing.  Was he laughing at Nissy?  Was he taunting him to approach the house?  Daring him to face the unfaceable?

Nissy hesitated a moment more.  There could be nothing for it but to face his fears.  Taking a deep breath, he put one paw forward and then another and then one more.  Before he knew it, Nerissa was standing on the steps below the massive front door.  He looked up...  way, way up.  The door knocker was out of reach.  Nissy let out a bloodcurdling meow to equal all meows.  It was loud and clear and he knew it would gain the attention of those in the house, whether they be dead or alive.

An owl hooted in the distance and Nissy ducked as a flock of squawking crows suddenly swooped down above his head.  He could hear approaching footsteps coming from inside the house.  This gave him little comfort.  He was sure ghosts did not have feet but zombies would...  probably.  Other kinds of monsters would be footed, too.  The door slowly opened, creaking loudly all the way.

Nerissa lifted his gaze and peered through the now open door.  There was no one there.  Who had opened it?  Could it have been a ghost from Hallowe'ens past?  Could it have been..?   He shuddered at the thought.

Knowing that he could be taking his life in his paws, Nerissa stepped through the door.  Inside, it was pitch black.  Not an ounce of light, anywhere.  Not even the flicker of a candle.  He walked further into the room and the door behind him slammed shut, barely missing his tail.  The house plunged into a deafening silence.

And then, all of a sudden, bright lights lit up at the far end of the room.  Nissy covered his eyes with his paws.  There was so much light.  It was so blindingly bright.  Then he heard a deep voice and it barked "three, two, one..."  Nissy uncovered his eyes and lo and behold...  there were his pals The Duchess of Bramley, Truman, NancyCakeFace, Jasper and Felix!  And they were performing in their new music video MONSTER MASH!

The performance ended and Nissy was about to break into applause when lights flashed and thunder boomed and then...  and then...  and then he saw his other pals, Mr Tibbs, Patchy Meow, Blackie, Sooty and Gingy in their music video, TIME WARP!  What fun!  What fun!!!
 

 

Nissy's pals poured from the stage and lights flickered on throughout the room.  There was a gigantic buffet table covered with yummy snacks and a steaming cauldron filled with what Nissy was sure would be the best nip punch ever.  His pals were chatting and accepting praise for their performances and a DJ was setting up in the corner.  The party was about to start.

HAPPY HALLOWE'EN EVERYBODY!

If you can't view the above videos, please check out my pal Patchy's channel at youtube.com/user/PatchyMeow where you'll be able to watch it for sure.  Or visit her on her blog The Five Cats Chronicles.  She's a great director.  Don't you agree?   Oh, and if that link for Patchy's You Tube channel doesn't work properly, don't blame me, okay?  Please bear in mind that I have a technologically impaired duffer of a peep and that's one of the scariest things ever!

 

spell check and whatnot

A week or two ago, I found a comment in the spam folder for my blog.  Some guy named Anonymous said that Nerissa's Life was "rife with spelling errors" and that he found said errors, "distracting."  Hmmm...  spelling errors?  Doesn't this guy know Kitty Speak?  I spell Kitty Speak, purrfectly!

And who is this guy named Anonymous anyway?  And why did his comment end up in my spam folder?  Could it be that insidious little link he tried to sneak in with his comment?  Yeah, it was hidden there just waitin' for some poor unsuspectin' cat or peep to click.  And an even better question is this...  WHO THE MOUSES NAMES THEIR KID ANONYMOUS?  I'm afraid, my friends, the question must be asked.  It's a very good question.  A question that should have been asked before Anonymous' parents wrote that silly name down on his birth certificate, I should think.

You know, I do use the spell check provided by Blogger before I publish my posts.  I have found however, that there are a lot of missing words in it.  Many of the wondrous words that I have invented are not yet there.  I'm sure they will be, some day.  I mean...  they're good words.  It's only a matter of time before everyone is using them.  I use them all the time...  'cause like I said...  they're good!

I have come to the conclusion however, that waiting for my wordy inventions will require patience on my part.  It'll take the peeps at Blogger a little while to catch up with what's hip an' happenin' in the the twenty-first century, I think.  Languages evolve and I, Nerissa the cat, am helpin' with the evolution.  But evolution is a slow moving train.  Thus, the required patience.   Patience is a virtue, you know.  And as a cat, I have the necessary patience.  Or do I have patients?  Hehehe...  well...  occasionally a claw or two might slip and a peep might become one.  It has been known to happen, I'm afraid.

Now you see, that is something for which these spell check thing-a-ma-gigs don't account.  Those words that sound alike but are spelled - or as they say in the UK, spelt - differently and mean totally different things.  Now technically, patience and patients do not sound exactly alike.  There are auditory differences unless, of course, you're dealing with a peep who doesn't enunciate.  Bet you didn't know that a cat like me would know the word enunciate, huh?  Well I do.  Just like I know that patients in a waiting room will likely require patience.

But what about all those other words like the three twos and the two fours?  And don't even get me started on all the yours.  You all know what I mean.  Right?  No, you don't?  Yes you do.  No writer doesn't know the difference between right and write.  Let me assure you my friends...  spell check will not help you with these words.  Nope.  You've just gotta learn 'em.  Gotta have 'em in your head.

And then there's the whole Canadian kitty versus American kitty thing.  We Canadian kitties spell some words differently.  We just do.  We tend to add a lot of the letter u.  We do people favours and have neighbours and well...  that kind of thing.  When I spell one of those u words properly for a Canadian kitty, Blogger spell check goes all crazy with the squiggly red lines.  Crazy, crazy, CRAZY!  Crazy as a squirrel makin' nut pies.  And by the way, that's red as in the colour of a red squirrel and not a squirrel who happens to be well-read.  MOUSES!  Another one.

And let us not forget the dastardly s and z conspiracy.  I'm pretty sure that it is, in fact, a conspiracy.  A conspiracy designed to drive kitties like me up the big ol' squirrel tree.  Does this come as a surprise?  Or are you surprized?  Well, Blogger spell check says one thing while other spell checks say another.  Either way, you're gonna have squiggly red lines. 

Luckily for me, at times like this when the various spell checks are arguing with one another, the peep lets me borrow her big ol' three-volume dictionary.  It's massive but does the trick.  The humongous dictionary says surprise can be spelled either way.  Both s and z are correct.  Spell checks be darned!  They're just trying to lead me astray.  And as you all know.  I was never a stray.  I was feral. 

It is a big dictionary however and I need the peep's help in setting it up.  She lays it on the floor for me where I can scan the pages from top to bottom.  It took a bit of practice getting used to all that tiny print and those little abbreviations and whatnot but I've got the hang of it now.  Practice, practice, practice...  or is it practise?  Don't ask spell check.  This is one for the dictionary, for sure.  Just be prepared for the squiggles in red.

So I say this to you, my friend Anonymous...   What is a spelling error to you may not be to me.  For I am a Canadian kitty, you see.  Plus, I invent some of my own words.  And the inventor of the word gets to invent the spelling, too.  So ha!  Now, let me give you a piece of advice.  Get your name changed, huh?  To Bill or Bob or John or...  or really anything other than Anonymous.  It's not a great name, I'm afraid.  It's kind of silly.  Nah...  it is silly.  Silly, silly, silly...   MOUSES!

the squirmy wormy

My sister Mason is a squirmy wormy.  Peep #1 has called her that ever since she came here to live with us.  This is 'cause when the peep picks her up, Mason squirms and squirms and squirms until the peep will put her down again.

Once, when having her annual check-up at the you-know-what, even Doctor Sarah called Mason a squirmy wormy.  And that was kind of weird 'cause Doctor Sarah hadn't heard my peep call Mason that.  No sirree...  the doctor came up with that description all on her own.  Guess this proves that Mason really is a worm who squirms.

Well, all that came to a screeching halt the night before last.  My peep was sitting at my computer in our office, doin' something or other.  I'm not exactly sure what the something or other was but I don't think it involved workin' on my blog.  MOUSES that peep of mine has nerve!  No, I think the peep was doin' some of her own writing.  If you want to call it writing.  I'm not sure I would.  Anywho...  that's when the momentous event occurred. 

The peep was sitting there at my desk and felt a claw in her leg.  Yup, that's what I said.  A claw was in her leg.  She looked down and saw that Mason's paw was on her leg but a claw was extended.  And as you know, Mason has those extra toes so I think she might have extra claws, too.  Well this particular claw went right through the peep's pants and everything.  Now I wouldn't have been too thrilled 'bout this myself but the peep seemed to take it in stride.  She leaned over and scooped Mason up into her arms.  Not the easiest thing to do, by the way, 'cause Mason is a pretty big girl.  But the peep managed it all right.

Of course, I knew what would happen next.  I knew that Mason would start a-squirmin' and a-wormin' her way out of the peep's arms.  I couldn't believe my eyes when I realised that I was wrong.  It had never happened before.  Not ever.  I mean, what I saw had never happened before.  I wasn't talkin' about my never having been wrong before.  Although...  if I think about it...  I'm not sure that I ever have.  I really can't think of any particular occasion.  Anywho...  I honestly didn't believe that what I witnessed, the night before last, would or could ever happen 'cept maybe in one of those alternate universe thingies.  You know the ones.  But truth be told, I've never actually been to one so I really couldn't say for sure.  But I've heard weird things happen in them so I'm open to the possibility.

Mason...  my sister Mason...   who had never not squirmed up a storm before...  curled up in the peep's arms.  She settled right in without a squirm in sight.  She got the top of her head and behind her ears and under her chin scritched.  And she got some of those kisses the peeps like to give.  It really was an unbelievable sight.  My sister Mason in someone's arms and not a squirm to be seen.

Then last night, it was even worse!  The peep was on the couch in our family room.  Of course, my sister Constance was right there next to her, lookin' for some tummy rubs.   Connie really likes the tummy rubs although she says they're more like massages than rubs.  My dad Jacob arrived and curled up next to Connie, usin' her as a pillow.  Then came Mason.  I was sitting on the coffee table so I had the best view in the house for what happened next.  Mason hopped right up onto the couch and then onto the peep's lap! 

I thought for sure we must really have entered one of those alternate universe thingies after all.  I thought perhaps my peep had somehow managed to alter the space time continuum with all that time and space travelling caterwauling she was doin' the other day callin' for my brother Seville.  Yeah, I watch Star Trek.  I know stuff.

Anywho...  Mason spent the rest of the evening curled up on my peep's lap, purring up a storm.  The world seemed to have stopped spinning and time was at a standstill.  Mason had stopped squirming.  Instead, she had become...  become...  she had become a lap cat!  I would never have believed it had I not seen it with my very own two eyes.  The world's number one squirmy wormy is now a lap cat.

Well this morning, before writing this post, I sat down next to Mason and we had a little chat.  Apparently, Mason has decided that it's time to mellow.  She says she's getting a little older now.  Peeps say she's probably almost five.  But I'm nine and a half and I haven't mellowed in my old age.  Actually, I don't think I'm old.  Not old at all!  But Mason has decided it's time to settle down and enjoy the scritches and whatnot.  Personally, I think it's foolish.  I know how this works.  You let peeps cuddle you once and they'll be wantin' to cuddle you all the time.  Hope Mason understands just what she'll letting herself in for.  I think she's gonna regret it.  I mean...  who wouldn't?

what's in a name?

Two nights ago, my brother Seville did not come home.  The peep called him and called him and called him but there was no sign of that big ol' marmalade dude.  Not a trace.  Finally, she had to give up.  She told me what a good boy I was coming in even though staying out in the mild - gosh, it was downright balmy - night air must have been tempting.  She picked me up and hugged me and kissed me 'til I squirmed and thanked me for being such a good boy.  I thanked her lettin' me down eventually 'cause the kisses were getting suffocating.

Well, you can imagine how frantic my peeps were - especially peep #1 'cause she franticifies so easily - when Seville wasn't waiting to get in at the window, yesterday morning.  Out she went, calling and calling and calling some more.

Now, you know how my peep does her caterwauling thing, right?  Yeah...  some people call it choral society practise but I call like I see it.  Or in this case, hear it.  It's caterwauling!  Anyway, I guess all that caterwauling practise has paid off 'cause when peep #1 calls for any of us cats, you can hear her for miles.  I'm not exaggerating.  Once, peep #2 was on the phone with a friend in Washington DC while the first peep was calling for one of us.  The friend, hundreds and hundreds of miles and a whole country away asked, "What's that!"  Well, that was my peep caterwauling!  See?  She can be heard for miles.  Yeah, I know...  you're thinking the phone helped but really, the phone probably wasn't necessary.  She's that loud.  And the sound just kind of travels.

You know...  now that I think about it...  I should get the peep to give a call out to the International Space Station.  I'm still lookin' for an astronaut up there to read my blog, you know.  Hard to believe as it is, I haven't yet had one.  I bet if the peep crawled up onto the roof of my house and called in that space and time travelling voice of hers, those ol' astronauts would hear her.  I was watching The Big Bang Theory not that long ago and Howard was up there and thought he could hear his mom's voice from Earth without the phone or whatever it is astronauts use.  My peep's voice isn't as irritating as Howard's mom's but I'm sure it's just as loud.  Oh and don't worry about the peep bein' up on the roof.  It's not scary up there or anything.  I go up there all the time.

Anywho...  the peep was out there calling for my brother yesterday morning.  It wasn't long before my sister Beatrice appeared by her feet.  Then, my brother Rushton.  Once Mason was there I had to join in, myself.  The peep thinks this is kind of cute when we all appear like that and wonders why we don't know our names.  We know our names, you ol' peep.  We're just coming over to tell you to be quiet.  Those of us with sensitive ears are extremely sensitive to the caterwauling.

Once, a few weeks ago, my peep was out there calling for my brother Rushton and who arrives on the scene?  Nosey neighbour cat, that's who.  There he was, rubbing up against her ankles, trying to ingratiate himself into her good books.  I tell you, those two bonded when the peep looked after him for that week back in August.  It's disgusting, really. 

But what's in a name?  You call for a cat, you get a cat.  Okay, maybe it's not the right cat.  The cat you were calling for.  But it's a cat!  Just be happy with what you get, peep.  That's what I say.

Eventually though, the peep's calling did work.  A couple of hours later, Seville arrived.  He didn't appear upset or anything.  He just sauntered toward the peep and when he got close enough to her he asked, "You were looking for me?"  He acted like it was the first time he had heard her calling all morning.  Yeah, like that's possible.  I'm surprised the neighbours hadn't called the police!  Noise pollution or something.

Well, Seville got his punishment, all right.  I saw it with my very own eyes and am still cringing at the memory.  He got scooped up into that ol' peep's arms and he was kissed all over the top of his head.  Then he was cuddled and hugged and kissed some more.  Oohhh...  oohhhh...  the horror!  All that kissing.  All those peep germs.  My poor brother.

After my brother was punished with all the kisses, he was carried inside the house like a baby and given extra yummy food.  Of course, we all went in for some, too.  It was only fair as when the peep had called for Seville earlier, we had all responded.  The peep tried telling us that we had all had our breakfast and that Seville needed his.  I explained to the peep, in no uncertain terms, the reality of the situation.  I explained to her that if Seville's name was good enough for us earlier, then it should be good enough for her, now.  We came when she called for Seville outside, so we should all reap the rewards for answering her call.  I'm not sure that she bought the explanation I gave her but she gave us some of the extra yummy food, anyway.  I say, if I have to answer to Seville's name on occasion to get the good stuff, I will.  After all, I mean...  really...  what's in a name?

you are what you eat

Now that's kind of a silly statement, don't you think?  I eat all sorts of stuff.  I eat turkey and chicken and tuna and...  well...  the list goes on and on.  But do you know what?  I'm still a cat.  I mean, even though I eat turkey for breakfast most mornings, I've never turned into one.  Never, in my whole life have I ever said, "gobble, gobble, gobble..."  Well, sometimes I do say gobbley-goop - mainly when I'm talkin' about something that ol' peep of mine has said - but that's a totally different kind of gobble, I think.  So you see...  I'm really not what I eat.

But eating right, is important.  Everyone says so.  They can't all be wrong.  Right?  Cat nutrition is of the utmost importance. 

I'm a cat and that makes me a carnivore.  Sometimes peeps say they're carnivores but that's not really true.  Peeps are never carnivores.  In fact, I think tryin' to be one might even make them sick.  Most peeps are omnivores but my purrsonal peeps are veggies.  Neither one of 'em ever eats meat.

So you see, my peeps have to rely totally upon tins and bags and pouches and whatnot to supply me with my dietary requirements.  The only meat in the house is for us cats and it comes from the pet food aisle at the grocery store.  At least that's what I've been told.  I've never actually been inside the grocery store, myself.  Don't know why.  I'd make an excellent customer for sure.

I live with eleven other cats and the twelve of us all have various likes and dislikes.  We all enjoy the soft stuff for brekkies and dinner but quite often we'll snack on dry in between meals.  I always have turkey for brekkie but I really enjoy a little chicken.  Salmon is a favourite with some of my sibs.  Not one of us likes trout or duck.  Nope.  Not a single one.  And my brother Rushy will eat pretty much anything 'cept for the aforementioned trout and duck.  Peeps say this makes him a good eater.  I say it's just 'cause he's a big boy and likes his food!  Who knows...  maybe they're one in the same.

But whether we like chicken or salmon or even that duck stuff, what's important to remember is that we cats are really and truly carnivores.  That's a super-duper important part of cat nutrition.  That makes us different from peeps.  We have different biologies, I think.  We cats need our protein.  And we need lots of calcium, too, I've heard.  Very important for us cats, you know.  That's why my peeps always, always, ALWAYS give us food that's specially formulated for cats.  Bet you didn't know a cat would know such a long word as formulated, huh?  Well, I do.  I know lots of things like...  hmmm....  well like, how important it is that peeps feed us cat food and not dog or bird or hamster food or something like that.  No sirree...  cat food is the only way to go for us cats!

But did you know that almost as important as nutrition is taste?  I've known this all my life, I think.  Taste is really important 'cause if the food doesn't taste good, we cats won't eat it.  Sure, I've heard peeps - never mine, of course! - say stuff like, "Oh, they'll eat it if they're hungry enough!" but you know...  we cats could teach peeps a thing or two about holding out.  Truth is, when a cat doesn't wanna eat something, a cat won't eat that something.  It's just the way we are.  When we need it, we have patience in spades...  and hearts and diamonds and whatnot.

And just what good is nutritious food if the cats of the house won't eat it?  That's not gonna work at all.

Not that long ago, my Auntie Primrose wasn't feeling very well.  She didn't want to eat anything and the peeps were super worried.  When my peeps worry 'bout us cats, they worry like you've never seen worry before.  They were tryin' to entice Primrose to eat with all sorts of stuff.  They were even goin' to go to the store and get her chicken breast from the peep counter instead of our regular aisle.  They thought she might eat that.

But as luck would have, just about this time, I was in the process of doin' some research for this very blog post.  Yeah, the one you're readin' right now.  And sitting on the kitchen counter was a big bag filled with little trays of the most wonderful things.  There was tender beef and some chicken and salmon and whitefish with tuna and even one with turkey & giblets.  I told my peeps they should try givin' my Auntie Primrose some of the stuff they bought for my research and my peeps agreed that this was an excellent idea.

And do you know what?  She loved it!  Yup.  Especially that whitefish & tuna tray.  Auntie Prim said it was yummy, yummy in her tummy.  And that's exactly where it was 'cause she ate it all.  That plate was licked so clean it didn't even need washin' although the peeps did wash it, anyway.  Silly peeps.

You know, if any of you cats out there are havin' a hard time deciding what your peeps should be gettin' you for dinner....  you could try lookin' here.  http://www.whiskas.com/meal_time/   I know this stuff sure did help my Auntie Primrose 'cause, like I said, it got her eating again.  My friends, taste is extremely important.  Nutrition means nothin' less you can get it your tummy.  Know what I mean?



Please note that although I will receive remuneration for the writin' of this post, all thoughts expressed in it are mine.  All mine.  Not even the peep's.  No sirree....  I write my own blog, I do.  Nobody - and I mean nobody - tells me how I should think or what I should write.  I speak my own mind...  my mind.  Or, in this case, I write it!  purrs

there were pieces left over!

So a while back, the peep got this little barbecue thing-a-ma-gig.  Just a little one to grill up an occasional veggie burger or portabello mushroom, she said.  She also got some charcoal and lighter fluid 'cause she said those would be necessary to do the cookin'.  Then she put everything away in the garage and pretty much forgot all about it.  You know peeps.

A couple of weeks ago, said barbecue was hauled out of the garage.  I was a little skeptical, at first, 'cause the barbecue grill thing came in a box.  Now boxes, as we all know, are inherently good.  I love a good box, myself.  But I thought to myself, that box isn't as big as the barbecue is supposed to be.  What's up with that?

So the peep empties out the box and I see a whole lot of little bits of stuff, here and there.   Pieces of black metal, pieces of silver metal, a chunk of wood that's supposed to be a handle and a bag filled with nuts and screws and whatnot.  From what I could observe, none of it was attached to anything else.  It was all in pieces.

The peep settled down on the family room floor with all the little pieces of things strewn around her.  She reached for a piece of paper that came with the box and proceeded to study it.  Of course, I hopped up onto the coffee table and peered at the paper from over her shoulder.  The first thing I saw were the words, "EXPLODED VIEW."  Oh my gosh...  exploded?  Uhhh...  are we sure this is an appropriate choice of words when we've got a technologically impaired duffer of a peep trying to put together a whole bunch of bits and pieces with the intent to fill it with flammable materials to grill up a veggie burger?  I'm thinking....  NO! 

I'm not quite sure how long the process of assemblage took but let me tell you, it felt like an eternity.  My eyes glazed over several times during the whole fiasco.  I might even have fallen asleep at one point.  The peep was putting things together here and putting things together there and putting things together just about everywhere.  I believe I also saw her taking some stuff apart again.  I'm not sure but the barbecue appeared to get bigger and then smaller and then bigger once more.  Surely that must have involved some disasseblage at some point.

The peep is like me.  We writer-types like our words.  So this exploded view of a diagram thingy just isn't for the likes of us.  I mean, hey Mr Chefs at Master Chef...  this peep of mine isn't a mastermind, you know?  Exactly what part of technologically impaired duffer is it that you don't understand?  'Cause believe-you-me, a technologically impaired duffer of a peep is exactly what I've got on my paws. 

Eventually, what looked like the barbecue in the picture on the box was standing in the middle of my family room.  But lying on the floor next to this barbecue, were some screws and nuts and stuff.  Apparently, after assembling the grill, there were pieces left over.  Hmmm....

I gave that ol' peep o' mine my most skeptical of looks complete with a quizzical ear pose and everything.  I raised one eyebrow - you know, those whiskers up above my eyes - and said to her, "You sure there are supposed to be pieces left over?"

The peep says, it's okay.  She says, everything will be fine.  I say, stand back.  Stand back and prepare to run.  Prepare to run very fast.  Very, very fast.  As fast as your little paws will take you, my friends.  Remember, there were pieces left over!

You know, it would be one thing if the peep had been putting together a table or something.  I've heard those sometimes come in boxes, too.  In fact, my television stand came in a box.  It was a really heavy box and too narrow for a cat to get into and be comfy or anything so rather useless in the most important of ways but I digress...  My point is that when the peep put together the television stand, there were no pieces left over.  Nope, not a one.  Everything that came in the box was used in the process of assemblage.  And had the peep screwed up with the assemblage process - which is a reasonably high possibility - in that instance, it wouldn't have mattered that much.   She wasn't going to be cooking with it or anything.  But it seems to me, that when you're assembling something that will require flammable materials, getting that assemblage right is somewhat important.  I'm not sure that there should be any pieces left over.

Well, my friends.  Hopefully the peep won't be doing a whole lot of grilling with this barbecue thingy of hers 'cause...  well...  did I happen to mention that...  you know...  THERE WERE PIECES LEFT OVER!

 

the laws of gravelly

So I'm sitting on my desk working on my blog, when I get a whiff of the most delicious smell.  Okay, maybe delicious isn't the word.  The peep would use that word but for me, delicious smells usually emanate from small tins.  No, this was more of a perfumy scent but not the stinky kind my peep wears.  This was the scent of honeysuckle.

Honeysuckle in October, you say?  In the northern hemisphere??  In Canada???  Yup.  Sometimes the ol' honeysuckle vines will treat us to a second viewing, if you will.  There are never many blooms in the fall but in a good year, you can get two or three.  And since the flowers are so strongly scented, two or three is all it takes.

So, I sat on my desk and closed my eyes and breathed in deeply, taking in the lovely scent of the honeysuckle.  I was just about ready to drift off into la-la land, dreaming of hummers zipping and zapping amidst the flowers, when I heard it.  I heard a crunching and a scrunching and an all-round trunching coming through the very same window as my lovely honeysuckle perfume.  Then came the sound of screeching tires.  MOUSES! I thought to myself. 

I recognised the sound immediately as I've been hearing it, over and over and over again, for the last few months.  It was the sound of someone turning the corner, a little too quickly, out on the street in front of my house. 

It all began a few months ago...  You see, some nincompoop in the department of transportation thought that instead of repairing the corners of the road - where they had been worn down over the years and damaged by big ol' snow plows - properly, they would just fill in the holes at the corners with gravel.  Well, I can sure as mouses tell you that whoever came up with this idea was not the saltiest sardine in the tin.  Yeah, it worked for about...  well...  let's see...  a week.  Then, piece by piece and chunk by chunk, the bits of gravel and whatnot were spread about over the entire road.  Like, what did they think would happen?  Did they think that they could say to that ol' gravel, "Now hear this, you bits of gravel, you stay put!" and that somehow, miraculously, the gravel would listen?  I think not!  MOUSES! 

At first, cars had to turn the corner badly and drive over the piles of gravel to make the icky noises but they don't have to do that anymore.  Since the gravel is no longer confined to the corners, all the cars have to do is drive on the road to go over it.  Yeah...  just the road which, I believe, is where they're supposed to be.  The cars, I mean...  not the bits of gravel.  And if those cars are moving even the slightest bit too fast - which I reckon is anything faster than an elderly turtle on crutches - the tires screech.  Oh, it's a horrible sound, it is...   especially for those of us with sensitive ears, like myself. 

And the road looks just awful.  I'm not allowed on it but if I go through the trees where my peep has planted me a little woodland garden filled with primroses and whatnot, I can see the mess from there.  Yes, one day I trotted over there and sat at the edge of my little woods and looked out, just to see what was making all the commotion.  And what I saw was a big ol' mess.  There was the road with big chunks of gravel spread out all over it.  And the holes the gravel were supposed to be filling?  Well, the holes are clearly visible 'cause there's no gravel in them anymore!  And that would be because the gravel is, like I said, all over the road.

I asked the peep about this ridiculousness and she told me that it wasn't just at the corners of my road where they had done this.  She says they did it in at least two other spots in the subdivision.  Maybe more.  And do you know what?  I believe her.  She wouldn't lie about a silly and ridiculous thing like this.  That's for sure.

You know...   I think that I should go work for the Department of Transportation.  I'm pretty sure I could do a way better job than that ol' unsalted sardine.  You see...  I, Nerissa the cat, understand the laws of gravelly.  I understand that you can't just go putting gravel just any-old-where and expect it to stay put.   But then, I'm a cat.  And we cats are so much smarter about these things than...  well...  you know...  peeps.

I think I broke facebook

Here in Canada, tomorrow is Thanksgiving Day.  That's right, we Canadian kitties celebrate Thanksgiving in October rather than November.  Don't know why.  Just do.  Actually, at my house, we're celebrating today rather than tomorrow.  Don't know why we're doing that, either.  Just are.

I understand there will be some extra Fancy Feast in store of us cats and for that, we can all be truly thankful 'cause the peeps are havin' Wild Rice & Mushroom Soup.  They're veggies, you know.  That's why they're not eating the turkey or anything.  Personally, I'd rather have the Fancy Feast.  And for dessert, they're having Pumpkin Pie.  I watched the peep making those pies yesterday and I couldn't believe my eyes.  What a waste of good cream!  Yeah...  I saw her pour a whole cup and a half of whipping cream into the fillings.  Do you have any idea how many saucers-of-cream-for-the-cat that is?  It's a lot, I am sure.  Sure hope there's a little cream that has not been all pumpkinafied left for us kitties.  Got my paws crossed on that one.  We all do, I think.

Anywho...  Thanksgiving is a time for thinking about all for which we are thankful.  As I said, I'm thankful for Fancy Feast but there's lots of other stuff, too. 

I'm thankful for my peeps.  They're pretty good peeps, you know...  even if they are veggies.  And I'm thankful that I'm formerly - and not presently - feral.  Gosh, it's good to have a home.  And I'm thankful for all my fur-family.  They can be a bit much, at times, but really and truly...  I love 'em all.

I'm also thankful for having my very own blog and for all the friends I've made here on the blogosphere.  They're a great bunch, those friends of mine.  A lot of them are cats, like me, but many are peeps and then there are some dogs and bunnies and turtles and various other species, too.  Some of them have their own blogs and I'm thankful I get to read them.  Others don't have their own blogs but I sure am thankful that they read mine. 

I'm thankful for my BFF, Herman.  He has a blog, It's a Wonderpurr Life, but I actually met him on twitter.  In fact, I'm thankful for all my twitter friends.  What a great bunch, they are.  If you don't follow me on twitter already, you can...  you know.  Just look for @nerissathecat.  That's me!  Bet you had already figured that part out, huh? 

Oh, and I'm thankful for all my Facebook friends, too.  Another great bunch of cats, peeps and whatnot.  Love 'em all!  And I'm thankful that peep#1 got me my very own Facebook fan page.  What fun that has been.  It's called Nerissa's Life, just like my blog, in case you didn't already know. 

And speaking of the old Facebook...  I think I broke it.  Yeah, sorry 'bout that.  You see, a week ago, I did that article on my good friend Stan.  You know Stan, right?  He's the Tuxedo Party of Canada's representative running in the municipal elections in the city of HRM.  He's running for mayor and he really is the very best of the candidates.  Well anyway, that post was my most popular one ever!  Peeps and cats from all over the world read it.  In fact, I had over five hundred hits on my blog that very first day!  And boy-oh-boy am I ever thankful for that!  But here's the thing, ever since that post, my blog doesn't show how many likes I have on Facebook.  Nope.  Not a single one.  At least they don't show up for me.  So that's why I'm thinking I broke the Facebook.  Oh well...  these things happen, I suppose.  Oh, and I'm also very thankful I'm not the one who will have to fix it.  All of you should be thankful for that, too, 'cause if I was the one who had to do the fixing...  the fixing would never get done.  I can pretty much guarantee that.  And don't be counting on my peep, either, 'cause as you all know...  the woman is a technologically impaired duffer.  It's not just me who says that.  Everybody does.

And I've got something else super-duper special for which to be thankful.  This post...  this one you're reading right now...  is number one hundred for me.  That's right!  I've published one hundred posts on Nerissa's Life.  Isn't that neat?  It's kind of funny 'cause it feels like I've been blogging forever and yet, at the very same time, it feels like I just started yesterday.  Weird, huh?  I guess blogging has just become a part of me now.  And I'm thankful for that, too.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYONE!  purrs

I'm late... I'm late...

Hey there folks!  I've got some news and it's of the super-duper good kind.  I have been awarded three new awards.  Oohhhh my friends...  I am so excited.  I'm so very, very excited.  They're so beautiful...  so lovely...  so absolutely wonderfully fantastic.  I love 'em!

I know.  I'm a little late in accepting these awards.  I'd like to say I was back-logged with busyness or something but the truth is...  well...  it's just all the peep's fault.  You know how she is, right?  I needed her to write down the URLs and whatnot of all the blogs I'm linking to but remember how she got herself broken with that cat bite and infection?  Well, I guess she has an excuse this time...  sort of.  All I have to say on the matter is, there had better be no more such nonsense.  It's so hard to find good help.

Now here's the thing...  All these awards have rules and in each case, I'm supposed to pass the award along to a specified number of blogs.  But even if the awards say otherwise, I'm gonna just do ten for each, okay?  I've been reading up a storm as of late.  So much so that I think my eyes are thoroughly crossed...  and I'm not even a Siamese cat!  So, ten blogs for each of three awards is thirty and thirty is a lot.  Thirty is more than enough, I should think.  Also, I tried to give the awards to cats who hadn't already received them but I might have made some mistakes so...  if I present you with an award you already have, just take one of the others.  Sound good?  The truth is, each and every one of you deserve all three.

The first award was given to me way back in August by my friend Cathrine Garnell who writes the Cathrine Garnell's Blog blog.  Hehehe....  Yeah, she's got the word blog right in the name so it gets doubled up.  I like that.  She's actually not a cat but rather, a peep.  She and I met on twitter and have been friends, now, for a mouse's age.  She presented me with the Versatile Blogger Award and it's very, very pretty.  I love the colour.  Cathrine, thanks so much for this pretty award.  In accepting this award, I'm supposed to share seven random thoughts about myself.  Hmmm....  let's see....
1.  I'm a boy cat even if I do have a girls' name.
2.  I have a BFF and his name is Herman!
3.  I live with eleven other cats and, I have to say, eleven is a lot!
4.  Sometimes, I have been known to give the peeps a hard time 'bout coming in at night.
5.  I've taken to sleeping on the coffee table in the family room, as of late.
6.  I'm not just a tabby cat.  I'm a sterling silver tabby.  Some might say platinum.
7.  In one month, I'll be celebrating my one year of blogging anniversary.

Now, I'm gonna pass this Versatile Blogger Award along to ten other kitties.  It was supposed to be fifteen but...  you know...  Also, they're supposed to be relatively new bloggers but there's relative and there's relative.  And speaking of relatives, the first recipient is Basil and he's a relative of Cathrine but I didn't see this award posted on his blog so I figured he needed one.
- Basil of Basil the Bionic Cat's Blog 
- CJ of CJs PawPad
- Devilcat, Onyxia & Darcy of Bromford Court Cats
- Sophia of Diva Kitty & the Fluffies
- Lily of Lily Le Mew
- Chester of Chester Smooshy Face
- Laila & Minchie of Cat-a-Holic with Laila & Minchie
- the mom of The Misadventures of Me
- Cattywumpus of Cattywumpus
- Oldcat of Oldcat's Eye
 
Okay dokay...  on to award number two!  My great friend Sammy of the award-winning and world-famous blog, onespoiledcat, was kind enough to give me the Addictive Blog Award 'cause he says my blog is addictive.  Hmmm...  I wonder if it's as addictive as the nip.  In accepting this award, I'm supposed to share why I blog and how my blogging journey all began.  Well, I guess I've just got stuff to say, you know?  The ol' peep considers herself to be a bit of a writer...  cosy mysteries she calls 'em.  She's had some stuff published and I figured, if someone will publish her stuff...  well...  then...   I'm a shoe in...  even if I don't actually wear shoes...  'cause I'm a cat and all.  So eleven months ago, I got the peep to set up my Blogger account and the rest is history.

This award is supposed to be passed along to ten other blogs.  Whew!  At least I got that one right.
- Katie of Katie Isabella
- Spitty of Spitty Speaks
- Callie of Troublin' Times
- Katie of GLOGIRLY
- Eric & Flynn of Eric and Flynn's Adventures
- Austin of (CAT)achresis
- Sparkle of Sparkle the Designer Cat
- Max, Bugsy & Knuckles of Max the Quilt Cat
- Abby, Boo & Gracie of MANX MNEWS
- Marley, Iza & Ayla of Mark's Mews

And last but certainly not least, is the Wonderful Team Member Readership Award.  This, too, was given to me by my pal Sammy over at onespoiledcat.  What a nice guy, huh?  For this award, I just need to complete the sentence, "A good reader is..."  Hmmm...  well...  I think a good reader is a good listener.  Someone who really listens to what the words are sayin' even if they are on paper and not being spoken out loud or anything.  Don't you agree? 

Fourteen cats or peeps are supposed to receive this award but we've already discussed this, right?  So...  I'm passing it along to ten.
- Mario of Mario's Meowsings
- Nellie of Cat From Hell's Blog
- Brandi of Catitude
- Derby & Ducky of Derby and Ducky
- Raja & Arbuckle of The Bengal Boyz
- Herman of It's a Wonderpurr Life
- Alexi of Krasota Castle Cats
- Tom of Whisker Messages from a Church Cat
- Shaggy & Scout of Little Cat Feet
- Savannah of Savannah's Paw Tracks

MOUSES! that sure was a lot of typing of URLs the ol' peep did for me.  Didn't think she had it in her, to tell you the truth.

Now, for all three awards, recipients should thank the cat giving them the award - and that would be me - and link back to that cat's blog - and that would be Nerissa's Life - and, of course, put a picture up of their new award on their blog!  That's the fun part, you know. 

I hope you all enjoy receiving these awards as much as I enjoyed giving them to you.  You're all a great bunch of bloggers and you really, really deserve to be awarded more often.  Now, if you'll excuse me...  I really must notify each and every one of you recipients so that you know you've won.  Purrs to all!!!