a day for the peep

Happy Peep's Day, Peepers.  HAPPY PEEP'S DAY!

Now just hear me out.  I think that...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Oh.  Well, yeah.  Yeah, you're welcome and all that.

But just hear me out.  Peepers, every year you...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin 'on about now?

Oh.  Well that actually wasn't from me.  Not sure it was from Saffron, either.  Saffy and I both know you're not in favour of us chasin' down and catchin' the local wildlife, so we do our best not to do that sorta thing.  You know some other kitty that might be leavin' dead mousies on the front doorstep for you?

DON'T ANSWER THAT.  I don't wanna know.

MOUSES!

But just hear me out.  The thing is...

WHAT THE MOUSIE MOUSIN' MOUSES ARE YOU BABBLIN' ON ABOUT NOW?

Fine.  I know.   I do know I really shouldn't be raisin' my voice to you on Peep's Day.

But on the other paw...

YOU SHOULDN'T BE CONSTANTLY INTERRUPTIN'.

MOUSES!

So let's try this one more time, shall we?  Now just hear me out.  I think...

*pauses while waiting to be interrupted again*

Well, that's better for sure.  Okay, Peepers, just hear me out.  I'd like to point out that we do this Peep's Day thing-a-ma-jig every year.  Every. Single. Year.  Yup, every year on the second Sunday of May, we have a day just to celebrate you.

So my question is...

WHY THE MOUSES DO WE NOT HAVE A CAT'S DAY EVERY YEAR, TOO?

I mean, you are so very, VERY lucky to have the pleasure of havin' Saffy and me livin' with you.  We give you so much love and attention.  We purr, keepin' your bones all healthy and stuff.  We make messes which get you up off your tush, makin' sure you get your exercise in.  We prime your yarn with slobber when you knit.  Saffy has even taken to taking important things you might happen to drop, and tucking 'em away in incredibly safe places.

FYI, you might try lookin' for that earring you lost last week under the family room chesterfield.  You'll probably find it there with about a dozen or so pens.

MOUSES!

AND WE WOULD BOTH GLADLY HELP keep the house clean and tidy by lappin' up any spilled cream.

If you'd be so kind as to spill some cream, that is.

MOUSES!

So I was thinkin', ol' peep of mine...

WHY-OH-WHY ISN'T THERE A CAT'S DAY ONCE A YEAR, TOO?

Just think, you could go out and buy me a Happy Cat's Day card.  Wrap up a few prezzies like wand toys and a new biff bag or two.  A potted catnip plant for indoors wouldn't go amiss.

And then we could celebrate by havin' a top notch din-din of wild salmon florentine, garnished with a sprig of fresh catnip, along with a nice big saucer of cream.

And then...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' about now?

You're sayin' that short of the Happy Cat's Day card and the big bowl of cream, to some extent, EVERY day is Cat's Day 'round here?

Well, I suppose that to SOME extent you might be right.

But I also think you could do a whole lot better.

But who am I to judge?

MOUSES!

Oh, and by the way, Peepers.  There's another dead mouse outside the front door.  And when you go out, mind where you step.  I think Saffron might have horked up a hairball in lieu of a card.

HAPPY PEEP'S DAY, PEEPERS!

Enjoy it while it lasts.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

no way, no how...

"No way, no how, is this here plant gonna fit in that there pot.  MOUSES!"

I remember that joke my late, great brother Nissy made when he wrote it; and boy-oh-boy was it ever a super duper good joke, to be sure.

Nissy always wrote the best jokes.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, I do believe Nissy wrote that joke 'round about Peepers' Day, way back when.  Peepers' Day; the day we cats celebrate our motherin'-type peeps.

Yeah, yeah... Some call it Mother's Day.  So sue me.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, today is the day Saffy and I are celebratin' Peepers although truth be told, I'm not entirely sure why.  I mean, when you think about it...  When you really, REALLY think about it, Peepers kinda has it made 'round about here.  It's like EVERY day is Peepers' Day, to be sure.  

What we need is a Kitty's Day, or somethin' like that.  Unfortunately, the last time havin' a Kitty's Day was suggested, Peepers laughed 'til she was blue in the face.  In fact, she laughed so hard...

She laughed so hard I, Seville the Cat, thought I was gonna have to give her mouth to mouth or somethin' like that - which WOULD BE GROSS - but thankfully, Saffron came to my rescue and gave the peep a good slap, and that smartened her right up.

Slap...  Bitey...  Whatever.

MOUSES!

And there went my dreams of havin' a Kitty's Day to celebrate every year.

MOUSES!

So since it's just Peepers' Day and not Kitty's Day, I guess Saffy and I are expected to do somethin' special for the peep.  

Or so I've been told.

But figurin' out what that somethin' special should be is kinda hard 'cause like I said before, PEEPERS APPEARS TO ALREADY HAVE IT MADE 'round about here.  For mousin' out loud, SHE HAS THE PLEASURE OF LIVIN' WITH SAFFRON AND ME!

What on earth could be more special than that?

MOUSES!

But Saffy, bein' the suck up kinda kitty he is, decided to start early and sleep up on the bed by Peepers' tootsies the night before last which is somethin' Saffy never, ever has done before.  And he slept by her tootsies without even pouncin' on 'em or clawing 'em or biting 'em or anything like that which must have been really hard for Saffy on account of pouncin', catchin', clawin', and bitin' the peep's toes is one of his favourite pastimes, to be sure.

Guess he was too busy sleepin' to do any of that.

MOUSES!

And as for me...

Well as for me, since I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION of goin' anywhere near Peepers' toes, and I don't have any other kinda gift at the ready...

And since it's already Peepers' Day, and all...

Well...

Well I guess I've decided to give her a gift certificate or somethin' similar.

BUT NOT A GIFT CERTIFICATE FOR MY SLEEPIN' ON THE BED OR ANYTHIN' LIKE THAT!

'Cause I'm not that kinda kitty, you see.

But perhaps I could stretch to give her a certificate entitling Peepers one hour of givin' me chin tickles or behind the ear scritches or even belly rubs.  One whole hour of havin' me all to herself.

Now THAT sounds like THE PURRFECT PEEPERS' DAY GIFT, to be sure.  One kitties all 'round the world can give to their peeps.

And one with no stinky peep toes at the foot of the bed to be found.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

Happy Peepers' Day

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', there's no such thing as Peepers' Day; and do you know what?  You would be right.

MOUSES!

But the thing is...

The thing is, even though today is actually MOTHER'S Day, I don't really remember my mama, so all I've got is a peep.

MOUSES!

Now to be perfectly honest, I'm not quite sure why I'm celebratin' Peepers' Day, anyway.  I mean, what's there to celebrate?  Oh sure, she feeds me and keeps me safe and all that stuff, but...

But she also takes me to the vet.

And you ALL KNOW how I feel 'bout vets.

MOUSES!

She - aka Peepers - also makes rules.  Rules that are stupid as stupid can get.  Don't knock over the plants.  Don't eat the plants.  Don't pee on the plants.  You know, that sorta thing.

Like I said: STUPID.

MOUSES!

And what's more...

What's more, she went and brought Saffron into the house.  So now, not only do I have a couple of good-for-nothin' peeps, but I've got a brother as well.

MOUSES!

And just 'cause it's Peepers' Day, I'm supposed to buy her a prezzie?

Pffft.  Well I thought 'bout givin' her flowers.  I thought about doin' that, I say.  But she has lots of flowers, already.

So I fertilised her flowers, instead.

MOUSES!

But...  But...  But...  But what's the point of a day just for Peepers?  I mean, WHAT IS THE POINT?  It's not like she doesn't get to do what she likes the rest of the year.  Peepers, like most peeps, pretty much does what she likes, whenever she likes, like...  Like whenever she feels like doin' it.  Is she not actually celebratin' Peepers' Day, EVERY DAY OF THE YEAR?

And just who does she think she is, that ol' peep of mine, doin' whatever she likes any day of the year?  Who the mouses does she actually think she is?

DOES THE WOMAN THINK SHE'S A CAT?

The nerve, I tell you.  The nerve!

If you ask me, today should be a day set aside for the celebratin' of cats.

Or me.  Yeah, it could be just a day for celebratin' me.  Me, Seville the Cat.  A day called Seville the Cat Day has a nice ring to it, for sure.

Of course, every day is kinda Seville the Cat Day 'round here.

Just as it should be.

MOUSES!

So...

So HAPPY PEEPERS' SEVILLE THE CAT DAY EVERYBODY!

Yeah, that sounds about right.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

happy pee day, peep!

Happy Pee Day, Peepers!

I said, HAPPY PEE DAY!

Why are you givin' me that funny look?

Oh for mousin' out loud; a kitty wishes his peep a Happy Pee Day and what does a kitty get?

NOTHIN' BUT GRIEF.

MOUSES!

The thing is, Peepers, today is Mothers Day.  But you're not my mama.  My mama was a cat and you, lady, are no cat.  You're merely a peep.  But...

But still, you do do stuff that a mama cat would do, I suppose, like makin' sure my food and water bowls are full, providin' a roof over my head, supplyin' me with the nip, etc, etc...  So...

So I figured, even though you're not my actual mama - who was a cat - you do deserve some sort of recognition today.

What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Well yeah, I shortened peep to pee.

YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

MOUSES!

Because Pee Day is a whole lot easier to say than PeeP Day, that's why.  That extra consonant in there makes me all tongue-tied and stuff.

MOUSES!

But don't be expectin' a Pee Day card or anythin' like that.  Surprisingly enough, Hallmark DOESN'T actually make a card for every occasion.

Who knew?

MOUSES!

Look Peepers, when YOU'VE been stuck in a house with a couple of good-for-nothin' peeps for three hundred and twenty-six million, five hundred and ninety-two thousand cat seconds, THEN you'll get to have a say in whether it's called Pee Day or PeeP Day.  But until then...

WHAT I SAY, GOES.

On account of my bein' a cat.

Got that?

MOUSES!

Yeah, you keep on complainin' and I'll be wishin' you a Happy Poo Day, as you appear to have some kinda weird fetish with litter boxes and stuff.  Would you rather be celebratin' Poo Day, today, Peepers?  Would you?

That shut her up.

Like I said before, a kitty wishes his peep a Happy Pee Day and what does a kitty get?

NOTHIN' BUT GRIEF.

MOUSES!

SO HAPPY PEE DAY, PEEPERS!

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

happy peeper's day

Mornin' Peepers.  Happy Peeper's Day.

I said, MORNIN'!  HAPPY PEEPER'S DAY!

Boy-oh-boy Peepers.  Are you hard of hearin' or somethin'?

HAPPY PEEPER'S DAY!!!

MOUSES!

What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Yeah, it is six in the mornin'.  And yeah, it's a Sunday, too.  Nice to know you can tell time.

MOUSES!

But OF COURSE I had to get you up early today.  It's Peeper's Day, Peepers.  A day when kitties like me celebrate by bringin' joy to their peeps.  And the sooner I get you up, the sooner you'll be able to join in on the celebratin', too.

Makes sense, no?

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, since today is Peeper's Day and all that, I have a full day of excitement and entertainment in the works for you.  Today is gonna be a fun-filled day, for sure.

MOUSES!

We'll start off by your gettin' me my breakkies, and...

What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Well you didn't let me finish, did you.  Not a question; statement of fact.  Yes, I know that on Mother's Day, baby peeps usually get their mama's their breakkies and stuff.  But that's not how cats roll, ya ol' peep.  On Peeper's Day, you, the peep, still have to get me my breakkies, but...

But I'm not gonna complain or anythin' if I don't like it.

MOUSES!

Then after breakkies, I figured I'd give you your Peeper's Day prezzies.

By the way, you LIKE nip mice, right?

Just checkin'.

Oh, and don't worry, it's only slightly used.  You'll hardly even notice.  In fact, had I not mentioned the used part, you probably wouldn't have noticed at all.  I mean, there's just a teeny-tiny bit of slobber on one little part.

MOUSES!

Now after the openin' of the prezzies, I'll be ready for my mid-mornin' nap, and...


Let me finish, would ya?

AND, if you would care to take a nap with me, I shall allow it.  You know, on account of it bein' Peeper's Day and all that.

MOUSES!

Now when I wake up from my mid-mornin' nap, I'll be expectin' a snack or somethin' like that.  And since it's Peeper's Day, I'll share!

MOUSES!

We'll probably wanna work some playtime in about then.  You know, after my post nap snack.  Peepers, would you prefer chasin' a knitted ball, a nip mouse, or a feather toy?  Oh, I know!  How 'bout a tasslerope?  Better yet, how 'bout my teaser?  Oh yeah, that's one of the best toys of all.  I'll stand on the chesterfield and dangle it before your eyes, and you can try to grab onto it, and...

What?  What's that?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Oh yeah.  I forgot how you, bein' a peep and all, weren't all that good at chasin' and catchin' cat toys and stuff.  Hmmm...

Tell you what.  We'll play with my toys in the traditional way.  You know, where you do my biddin' and dangle whatever toy I want to chase at the time.

Sound good?

Of course it does.

MOUSES!

Now about lunch.  Since it's Peeper's Day and all, I'll let you choose which kinda fanciest of the feasts you'd like to prepare for me.  No questions asked.  And by that I mean, I won't complain 'bout your choices.  Then after lunch...

WHAT ARE YOU COMPLAININ' ABOUT NOW?

Oh.

Hmmm...

You're wonderin' how come Peeper's Day is very much like any ol' regular day around here.  You're wonderin' how come you, the peep, are still required to do my biddin' on Peeper's Day, just like any other day.

Really?

Well did you not hear the bit 'bout how I was gonna let YOU choose what kinda tins you'd open?

And did you not hear the bit 'bout how I wasn't gonna complain 'bout your choices?

What's more, did you not hear the bit 'bout how the nip mouse I'm givin' you is only SLIGHTLY used?

Mouses, Peepers.  You know, I was kinda joking earlier when I asked if you were hard of hearin', but I'm tellin' ya, I'm thinkin' you really are hard of hearin', for sure.  I mean, YOU DIDN'T HEAR ANY OF THE IMPORTANT STUFF 'bout the plans I made for you on Peeper's Day, or anythin'.  You really must be SUPER hard of hearin', for sure.

*sighs in a huffy, fed-up-with-the-peep kinda way*

So Peepers, why don't we play it like this:  You accept this slightly used nip mouse as a gift from me for Peeper's Day, and for the rest of the day we'll just do what we normally do.

Okay?

Okay.

After all, when you think about it, EVERY day is Peeper's Day, when a peep is lucky enough to live in a house with such a wonderful cat as me.

MOUSES!

Seville the Cat here

Hey ho!  Seville the Cat here, bringin' you the most up-to-date news, from rural Nova Scotia.

Hmmm...

Hey ho!  Seville the Cat here, bringin' you MY VERSION of the most up-to-date news, from rural Nova Scotia.

Hmmm....

Hey ho!  Seville the Cat here, bringin' you a whole bunch of stuff I'm makin' up off the top of my head on account of my not havin' anythin' interestin' to blog about today, from rural Nova Scotia.

BETTER.  MOUSES!

Sometimes a cat has just gotta do, what a cat has gotta do.  MOUSES!

So as you might have guessed, there has been NOTHIN' interestin' goin' on at my house for the last couple of days.

Well...  Nothin' noteworthy, I guess.  Nothin' worth bloggin' about, for sure.  MOUSES!

On the other paw...

Nope, sorry.  That information was marked private and personal, and the peep said I couldn't go 'round tellin' the whole wide world.  Not even if it was the ONLY real news I had to tell!

But on the OTHER paw, peeps go around tellin' the whole wide world all their private and personal stuff all the time!  Sometimes that stuff is so private and so personal, the world DOESN'T EVEN WANNA KNOW, but does that stop those peeps?  No sirree.  It doesn't stop 'em at all.  They just go around blabbin' like there's no tomorrow and...

What?  WHAT?  What's that you're sayin', Peepers?  You're sayin' that under no circumstances am I to tell my readers that my sister Mason was feelin' a little under the weather, and ended up with a bit of a dirty bum?  FINE.  MOUSES!

Oh-oh.

Hmmm...

Pretend you didn't hear 'bout that, okay?

And if you can't pretend you didn't hear it, pretend you didn't hear it from ME.  MOUSES!

So what should I blog about today?

I KNOW!  Hey Peepers!  I need to borrow your flashy box.  I need to take a picture of my din-dins.

What?  WHAT?  What's that you're sayin', Peepers?  You're sayin' that under no circumstances do I need to take a picture of my dinner?

Are you sure about that, Peepers?  'Cause peeps take pictures of their dinners, and post those pictures on the Internet, all the time.  And when I say all the time, I really mean ALL the time.  If it weren't for peeps postin' pictures of their dinners, social media would come to a complete standstill, for sure.

Well...  Pictures of their dinners and cute cat videos, that is.  MOUSES!

So that brings me back to square one on the search for a bloggin' topic for today.

Hmmm...

GOT IT.  Peep #1 planted another two azalea bushes yesterday.

And she RE-planted 'em again this mornin'. MOUSES!

Don't worry, Peepers.  I'll be sure to let my readers know that you didn't replant those two azalea bushes just for the fun of replanting 'em.  'Cause believe you me, I watched you replanting 'em this mornin', and it didn't look like you were havin' any fun, at all.  MOUSES!

Yeah, Yeah...  I'll mention the rockies.  Keep your pants on, woman.

And when I say keep your pants on, I mean KEEP YOUR PANTS ON.  World Naked Gardenin' Day was last weekend, not today.  MOUSES!

So anyway, as you might have guessed, the rocky raccoons were back again and last night, they dug up the two azaleas Peep #1 planted yesterday.  But this time, they just left 'em next to where they had been planted, instead of tryin' to haul 'em off into the jungle and...

What?  WHAT?  What's that you're sayin', Peepers?  You're sayin' that under no circumstances am I tell my readers we live in a jungle?

REALLY?  When was the last time you weeded?  MOUSES!

Hehehehehee...  Okay, perhaps that is a bit of an exaggeration.  Not even a whole bazillion gazillion weeds do a jungle make.  Close, but not quite.  Now a million bazillion gazillion weeds would be a TOTALLY different story, for sure.

HEY PEEPERS!  How come I'm findin' your hair all over my office?  You sheddin' or somethin'?

OR ARE YOU GOIN' BALD?

That's not good, Peepers.  Seriously, that's not good at all.  Take my word for it.  The bald look is not a good look for you 'cause Kojak, you are not, and...

GET A GRIP, WOMAN.  If you don't wanna go bald, just stop pullin' on your hair like that.  Stop yankin' it out!  Didn't anyone ever tell you, yanked out hair might not grow back and like I said, Kojak, you are not, and...

What?  WHAT?

FINE.

MOUSES!

Apparently, accordin' to the peep...

But then what does she know?  I mean, she's just a peep and...

What Peepers?

FINE.

MOUSES!

APPARENTLY, accordin' to the peep - while bearing in mind she is just a peep - she's pullin' her hair out on account of my blog post today, and SHE SAYS, since today is Mother's Day, I should go easy on her and give her break.

I guess I could do that.

It IS Mother's Day and all.

And she IS kinda my mother, even though we don't look at all alike.  You know, on account of my bein' way cuter.  Plus, I'm a redhead.  And then there's that whole business of the tail.

My tail.  I'M the one with the tail.  The peep doesn't have a tail.  Not one I've noticed, at least.

I guess I COULD give her a break...

But don't worry friends, I'll be back in FULL FORCE on Wednesday.  Ol' Peepers here can yank out the remainin' hair on her head, then.   MOUSES!

who stole my nip?

Hey ho, hey ho, it's off to nip I go.  Do do do do do do do do do do...  do? DO?  WHA???
MOUSES!

PEEEPERRS!!! Where's my nip?

Really?  REALLY?  Are you sure about that? 'Cause I'm looking right where you're saying to look and I'm not seeing any nip.

Hold on.  Wait a minute. Wait a mousie mousin' moused-up minute.

BUT THAT'S HARDLY ANY NIP AT ALL.  MOUSES!

Peepers, those two sickly, puny, teeny-tiny nip plants you need a magnifying glass to see aren't even big enough for a snack.  Why, they're not even big enough to garnish a snack.  Not even a small snack.  Not even a small garnish on an extremely small snack.  They're...  They're... They're...

WHO STOLE MY NIP?

                                             *******************************

Of course, my immediate assumption was that the Evil and Dastardly Weasel Syndicate was responsible for my missing nip.  Or is that the Dastardly and Evil Weasel Syndicate?  Wait right there, I'll go check what it says on their business cards.  I'm sure I have one lying about here somewhere...  Now where did I put that card?

MOUSES!  Was anyone out there aware that the Weasel Syndicate's business cards do not include either the words evil nor dastardly?  Neither one.  Talk about false advertising.

Anyway, it doesn't really matter as my knee-jerk reaction on blaming the Weasel Syndicate turned out to be false.  My nip dilemma was not the work of weasels - which believe me, came as a great surprise - but rather, it was the work of peeps.  Peep #1 to be exact.  MOUSES!

                                             *******************************

Now as today is Mother's Day, I did kinda promise Peep #1 I wouldn't make fun of her but...

But...

But let's face it, not all promises can be kept.  MOUSES!


                                             *******************************

So here's the thing, Peep #1 is a totally useless failure when it comes to the growing of the nip which is a huge problem for me on account of my being kind of addicted to the stuff.  Yup, catnip and I are joined at the hip, so to speak.

Well technically, we're not really joined at the hip as the nip is currently in short supply.  Too short of a supply to be putting it on my hips.  I, my friends, am nipless.  MOUSES!

And yes, this nipless state of affairs is totally the fault of the peep.

I'm afraid that Peep #1 has had more than her fair share of disastrous nip-growing failures.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  Too little rain, too much.  Too little sun, too much.  Too little nip, for sure.

One year, way back when, she managed to get a couple of plants up and growing but then one of us cats came along and uh...  um...  pruned the plants, so to speak.

Do you know what you get when you let a cat prune the nip plants?  You get NO nip plants and one cat who is very nipped.  MOUSES!

After the Great Nip Plant Pruning Incident of uh...  Hmmm...  Now when was that?  I can't remember the year on account of my being...  Well...  Nipped.

No matter, after the Great Nip Plant Pruning Incident a few years back, the peep took to growing the nip in a cage.

Just to clarify, the nip plants were in the cage and not the peep.

Now the idea behind the Caged Nip Chronicles was that we cats wouldn't be able to get into the cage and attempt to prune the nip.  A good idea, for sure, IF you have a peep capable of growing the nip in the first place.  Turns out, I don't.  Yup, you said it all right, MOUSES!

For the nine lives of me, I cannot figure out what the peep is doing wrong.  By all accounts, nip is supposed to be easy to grow.  Nip is supposed to grow like a weed.  But the peep is simply incapable of growing the stuff whether she starts it from seed or buys starter plants, grows it out in the open or inside of a stupid cage or... or... or in a pot or in the ground or anywhere.  MOUSES!

Peep #1 could write a whole book on her nip-growing failures.  1001 Ways to Fail in the Growing of the Nip.  It's like when it comes to nip-growing, she has a mental block or something.  Or maybe she's just mental.  Or maybe she's just blocked.  That happened to me, twice.  Had the crystals and couldn't pee.  I wonder if that's the peep's problem.  Nah, probably isn't.  If I recall, my bouts with the crystals had nothing to do with the nip.

You know, I guess it's true what they say.  Here today, nipped tomorrow.  Or is that nipped today, gone tomorrow?  Well I'd like to say either one but I can't on account of my havin' no nip.  MOUSES!

dreamin' of spring flowers

He has two days to get outta here.  Two more days to get lost and that's that.  I'm not givin' him any more time.  He has had enough.  More than enough.  I've had it with him and that's a fact, for sure.  MOUSES!

You're probably all wonderin' exactly who has overstayed their welcome around here.  Would it be...  Nosey-Neighbour-Cat?  Nope.  Haven't seen that ol' NNC in ages and even if I had, NNC is - and always will be - far more welcome than the one of whom I speak.  Or should that be write?  Blog?  Whatever.

Anywho...  I'm talkin' about that Ol' Man Winter.  I've had it with him.  Had it up to my ears!

Okay, I know...  Bein' a cat and all, my ears aren't very high but you get my point, I am sure. MOUSES!

The calendar says that in two days time, it's supposed to be the first day of spring so I'm givin' Ol' Man Winter exactly two days to pack up his bags and get outta town.  I want him gone.  GONE, I say.  I want him here no more.

And if he doesn't go?  Why then I'm gonna...

Truth be told, I haven't actually thought quite that far ahead but whatever I do, it'll be somethin' that'll have Ol' Man Winter shakin' in his boots, for sure.  His winter boots and all.  MOUSES!

I've been pretty sick and tired of that ol' man for quite some time now but this week was the final straw.  A week before spring and what does he do?  He slams us with not one - but TWO - winter storms in just a few days.  The whole province is under a winter storm warnin' for the second time this week.  MOUSES!

I was finally beginnin' - just beginnin', mind you - to be able to see above the mound of snow outside my office window.  I was finally beginnin' to be able to see traces of movement out there on the road.  Keep track of the dogs out walkin' their peeps and whatnot.  But after this second storm, that ol' mountain of white stuff is just as high now as it was before.  Again I must say, MOUSES!

I heard that in the month of February, Ol' Man Winter dumped over five feet of the white stuff on us, here in the valley. That was on top of a whole whack of snow in January and now in March, here we are, gettin' more.  Over a foot, I think, on Sunday and there must have been at least that much again, today.  In fact, it's still snowin' right now.  Or maybe it's just blowin'.  I can't really tell.  IT'S LIKE A BLIZZARD OUT THERE.

Miss Spring had better arrive on Friday.  She had better be on time.  She had better get her schedule straight.

Sure do hope she's not takin' a plane to get here.  Flights in and out of the airport have been delayed and cancelled all over the place due to the winter storm.  MOUSES!  That Ol' Man Winter is up to his tricks, again.

Anywho...  Miss Spring is gonna have to dig her way out of a snow pile or somethin' and she had better do so very, very soon.  I'm hopin' that if I give Ol' Man Winter the winter boot first thing on Friday mornin', Miss Spring will show her face by afternoon.  I've got all four paws crossed that she will but don't worry, I know better than to cross all four of my paws all at once while standin' up.  I learned that lesson the hard way and that's enough said on that subject, I should think.

And here in the house, Peep #1 has been thinkin' that Miss Spring has already arrived.  Apparently, the peep hasn't looked out any windows recently.  Oh yeah, she can't 'cause they're all covered with snow.  But if she could, one look out there and she'd know that spring is nowhere to be found.

In my sunroom, occupyin' prime sunpuddle territory, are pots of sweet peas and wallflowers and a few other things.  I think the peep was plannin' on puttin' them out on the deck this month durin' the warmer days, gettin' them ready for plantin' outside in early May. Well that's not gonna happen.  Deck still has several feet of snow on it and that ol' snow isn't plannin' on goin' anywhere, anytime soon.

I wonder if I packed Ol' Man Winter's bags with snow if he'd take some of the white stuff with him.  It's a thought. Can't think of a reason not to try. Wonder where he keeps his bags.  Hmmm....

And I haven't really been helpin' matters much.  I've kinda been encouragin' the peep to think all things spring 'cause I finally found a source for the peep's favourite pansies and put in my order so that I could give her a package of seed for Peep Day.  Well technically it's called Mother's Day but Peep #1 isn't my mama.  My mama was a lovely long-haired tuxie girl and my peep is no tuxie cat. The peep is...  Well...  Well she's just a peep.  So Peep Day, it is.

I had to work long and hard findin' those pansy seeds for Ol' Peepers.  Place where the peep used to get 'em stopped sellin' them so I had to do some investigatin', on-line.  Good thing I have good investigative skills, for sure.

Peep #1's favourite pansies are called Blue Frost and they're really pretty.  I remember when she grew 'em before.  The petals were snow white with cute little faces and edged in lovely shades of blue.  The blues went beautifully with my sterling silver - some say platinum - tabby fur.  Perfect pansies for my peep to grow.  Perfect pansies for me to pose with for picture takin', too.

And speakin' of pictures, that's exactly what I intended to do.  I had intended to allow the peep to take my picture while I posed in and amongst some pretty spring flowers.  I intended to cooperate with the peep.  Cooperation, on my part, for picture takin' is somethin' I very rarely do.  Problem is, all the spring flowers are still stuck under all that snow and goodness knows when they'll get out. What is a kitty to do?  MOUSES!

So for now I'll just have to sit back and dream of the days when the spring flowers will bloom.  Pansies and wallflowers and lilies-of-the-valley, too. And primroses!  We mustn't forget the primroses, for sure.

One day, once Miss Spring has settled in, she'll breath upon the earth and bring the spring flowers to life.  One day...

Gosh, I had best get the guest bedroom ready and in ship-shape.  Get the sheets changed and whatnot for Miss Spring's arrival.  She'll need someplace to sleep and quite frankly, right now, it's stinkin' of that Ol' Man Winter, for sure.  MOUSES!

the perfect gift

Anybody see that nip mouse I set aside? ANYBODY?

That was what I asked my fur-fam yesterday.  I looked and looked and looked for that nip mouse I had planned to give Peep #1 for Mother's Day.  I looked all over the house.  I looked in every room.  I looked under beds and on top of dressers and eventually, I found it.

Anybody know who slobbered all over that nip mouse I set aside? ANYBODY?

MOUSES!  The peep isn't gonna want a nip mouse that has been all slobbered over.  Sometimes I wonder 'bout my fur-fam.

Hmmm....  Anybody know where I can order some nip plants?  Cheap?  ANYBODY?

The peep likes growin' stuff and what better stuff to grow than catnip?  I mean, is there anything better?  Not likely.  She already has a pot of nip seeds started but they're still teeny-tiny plus, she's growing 'em for us cats.  Ol' Peepers would probably love some fully grown plants that she could use for herself to make nip tea or maybe a tasty little nipped-up salad or somethin' like that but if I was gonna give her nip plants, I was gonna need to get 'em right away.  I was gonna need 'em like... yesterday.

Then I remembered how Seville had mentioned that the peep wasn't into nip like us cats.  Sivvers thought the peep might rather have somethin' unnipped or whatever.

Anybody know if we have any wand toys on paw that we haven't yet destroyed?  ANYBODY?

Clearly, finding a prezzie for the peep for Mother's Day wasn't gonna be as easy as I had originally thought.

Then I thought about her plumeria.  The peep has developed a bit of an unhealthy obsession over her plumeria plants.  You should see how she dotes upon them.  Maybe she'd like a couple more? Would I be enabling her unhealthy obsession if I were to give her some plumie seeds?

I turned on the computer and hacked into the peep's private affairs.  Uh-huh... Uh-huh...  Looked like the peep already had some plumeria seeds on order but there were some she liked that she didn't order.  Hmmm...  I could always order her up a couple more packages of seed.

Nah, she probably doesn't need any more plumies.  To be honest, she already has enough of 'em.  Those plumies have a way of stealin' the very best sunpuddles in the sunroom from right under my paws.  MOUSES!

That's when I realised that none of the peep's plumies are actually blooming.  They're just sittin' there, occupying sunpuddles.  Maybe the peep would like a blooming plumeria plant.  Maybe I could teleport on over to....

No, I decided.  A reconnaissance mission for bloomin' plumies would be an adventure that would have to wait for another day.  Might need Seville's help on that one and he was too busy washin' his tail and whatnot to prepare the teleportation device.

Yarn!  That's always a great prezzie for a peep.  The peep likes playin' with yarn.  In fact, she likes playin' with yarn so much that she never shares her yarn toys with us cats.  It's true.  She complains when we catch the yarn with our paws or when we chase the ends of the knittin' needles as they go clickity-clack, clickity-clack.  Rather mean, if you ask me.

Oh and you should hear how she freaks out when she's knittin' and all of a sudden discovers that one of us has had the yarn in our mouth, makin' it all wet and slobbery but when you think about it, it's really her own fault.  If she gave us our own yarn toys for playin', we wouldn't have to play with hers.

Scratch the yarn idea.  Peep doesn't need yarn toys if she's not gonna play nice and share 'em.

What to do...  What to do...

That's when it came to me.  Suddenly, I knew just what to do regardin' Ol' Peeper's Mother's Day prezzie.  I had come up with the perfect prezzie for the peep, for sure.

For Mother's Day, I decided to give the peep...  ME.  For one day only, I will be the perfect cat.  I will come when she calls me and let her pick me up and cuddle me and give me lots of love.  I will allow her to smother me with kisses and not squirm out of her arms or anythin' like that.  I will let her give me chin tickles and behind-the-ear scritches and even tummy rubs, never complainin' when I have had enough. And in the evenin', when it's time for Sunday night Masterpiece Theatre watchin', I will cuddle up next to her and allow more tummy rubs and chin tickles and whatnot.

Yup, perfect Mother's Day gift if you ask me.  I've even managed to get the other cats on board.  We will all be perfect kitties for the peep on Mother's Day which should be pretty easy 'cause as cats, perfection is what we do best.  You really, REALLY have to agree.