you're welcome

I said, you're welcome.

You're welcome!

Yup, that's exactly what I said. 

MOUSES!

For what are you welcome, you ask?

Well...

Well, due to my scathing blog post, the other day, 'bout Mother Nature not workin' hard enough in the spring weather department, Ol' Mama N has finally decided to shape up before we cats all got together and shipped her right out; which is why...

Which is why...

Which is why, you have me, Seville the Cat, to thank for the lovely warm sunny days you are currently experiencing.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

IT IS TOO because of me that we're finally havin' good weather.  It's as obvious as obvious can be.  The evidence is there for everyone to see.  It was cold and rainy and raw, as you remember.  Then I wrote my blog post.  My SCATHING blog post, I might add.  And now it's all sunny and warm.  See?

IT WAS OBVSIOUSLY BECAUSE OF ME.

MOUSES!

It just goes to show you what a bloggin' kitty can do.  

MOUSES!

And now that I've fixed the ol' weather...

Well, now that I've fixed the ol' weather, I've got some extra time on my paws.

What to do..  What to do...

Hmmm...

Hey Peepers!  YOU HAVE ANY OTHER PROBLEMS YOU NEED ME TO SOLVE?

Actually, never mind.  Don't bother answerin'.  You'll probably want me to fix somethin' stupid like sweepin' up the litter 'round the litter box.  A job which is obviously yours.

Of course...

Of course, I could solve that problem by remindin' you to get in there and start sweepin'.

Hmmm...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

You think I could solve the ol' litter 'round the litter box problem by not scatterin' said litter about in the first place?

BUT WHAT WOULD BE THE FUN IN THAT?

Plus, you'd be out of a job, and that, my dear peep, will simply not do.

MOUSES!

But since I'm now thinkin' about it...

HEY PEEPERS!  GET YOUR SORRY REAR UP OFF THAT CHAIR AND GO SWEEP UP THE LITTER SCATTERED ALL OVER THE FLOOR!

Please.

I'm sayin' please on account of my bein' polite, of course.

'CAUSE IF I, SEVILLE THE CAT, AM ANYTHIN', I AM ALWAYS VERY POLITE.

'Cause I'm a Canadian kitty, you see, and we Canadians are known for bein' polite.  

Politeness, which is exceeded only by our good looks.  And perhaps our humble modesty, too.

PEEPERS, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO GET UP OFF YOUR SORRY OL' REAR!

The effort I have to make to get peeps to do some work around here.

MOUSES!

not even tryin'

I swear, it's like she's not even tryin'.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' that Peepers has gone and messed somethin' all up, due to a lack of her tryin'.

Again.

MOUSES!

Well, to tell you the truth...

To tell you the truth, she has messed everythin' up.

And there is a distinct possibility it's 'cause she wasn't really tryin'.

But truth be told, I'm not talking 'bout her.

This time.

MOUSES!

Nope, THIS TIME, I'm talking 'bout ol' Mother Nature.  Ol' Mother Nature is not even tryin'.

MOUSES!

I shall explain.

So it's May, right?

Hold on.  Let me go check.

Yup, I just looked on the calendar and it is, in fact, May.

It's hard to tell sometimes, on account of the weather.

MOUSES!

Okay, okay...  Okay, so yesterday was nice.  Yesterday was spring-like and everythin'.

As was the day before.

But the day before that?  The day before that was chilly enough that Peepers had to put on a sweater.

MOUSES!

And for a while, there, it felt like we had nothin' but rain.

Which might have been fine durin' April, what with April showers and all that, but it was SUPPOSED to be May.

Which is SUPPOSED to have flowers.

MOUSES!

Okay, so the daffodils are bloomin'.

But those daffies are daffy, and they'll show off when it's cold.

Without even botherin' to put on a sweater.

MOUSES!

But my point 'bout this is...

My point 'bout this is, Mother Nature is slackin', regardin' spring weather.

I SWEAR, IT'S LIKE SHE'S NOT EVEN TRYIN'.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Tomorrow is supposed to be 17C and sunny, you say?

Hmmm...

Well sure, yeah, NOW Mother Nature is makin' an effort.  NOW she's bringin' us spring.

BUT THAT'S JUST 'CAUSE I, SEVILLE THE CAT, CALLED OUT HER SLACKINESS AND PUT HER ON NOTICE.

So in a way, if the weather gets spring-like, it is ME you should thank.

Feel free to send treats.

MOUSES!

picture it

Picture it: my house; couple days ago; total craziness, for sure.

MOUSES!

So it all started early Monday mornin' when Peepers put the heat on, upstairs.  She cranked it way, WAY up...

Okay, so she turned it up just a bit.  'Cause it was chilly, you see.  I didn't find it cold, of course, on account of my havin' such luxurious marmalade furs.  But peeps bein' peeps, are furless, you see.  They're more likely to feel the cold.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, Peepers turned the heat up just a tad, so that it would be warm in the house whilst we all had our brekkies and whatnot, before the sun warmed everythin' up.

Well!

Well no sooner had she turned up the heat but weird noises ensued.  There was tappin' and bangin'.  A metallic soundin' sound which was a VERY noisy noise, to be be sure.

It sounded like the hot water pipes that heat up the house were vibratin' this way and that, bangin' and crashin', and...

Okay, so more bangin' than crashin', but still...

But still, it was super scary, to be sure.

MOUSES!

Now thinkin' those hot water pipes might burst or quite frankly, just blow the mouses up, Peepers ran to turn the heatin' system right off.  She ran down to the basement to check on the furnace, then back up to upstairs.  Then onto the main floor in the kitchen.  And even though the furnace was now off, the tappin' and bangin' and whatnot continued.  Not non-stop, mind you, but every now and then we'd hear that metallic soundin' peckin', and...

And THAT'S when Peepers thought to herself: that peckin' kinda tappin' noise sounds vaguely familiar to me.

Hmmm...

So she did some investigatin' and do you know what she found?

Well!

Well, there were absolutely no noises in the basement near the furnace.  None whatsoever.  Lots of noises upstairs, but really, mainly at only the one end of the house.  And the noises were the loudest in the kitchen, of all places.  The kitchen!

Hmmm...

Yup, the noises were the loudest in the kitchen, right next to the itsy bitsy teeny weeny chimney.  The chimney we never use 'cause it used to be hooked up to a small wood stove the peeps had removed.  It just sits there, that ol' chimney does, occupyin' space.  Space that could be put to far better use, I suspect, but who knows, maybe it's actually holdin' up the house.

Maybe.

But anyway...

But anyway, Peepers then had one of her rare - VERY rare, I might add - moments of brilliance, and outta the house she ran.

NO, she wasn't fleein' an impendin' disaster.

I don't think.

Well outta the house ol' Peepers ran, as fast as her tootsies would travel.  Once out on the deck, she looked up.  Way, WAY up.  And what did she see?

A STUPID OL' WOODPECKER, peckin' or tappin' or doin' whatever woodpeckers do, on the metal cover that protects the top of that chimney.

MOUSES!

And so it went on, all mornin' and into the afternoon.  Every now and then, that ol' woodpecker would fly off but then he'd be back, and the noises would noisy up the whole house once more as he'd start woodpeckerin' all over again.

Apparently, the start of the noises with the turnin' on of the furnace was merely a coincidence.

MOUSES!

But later that day...

Later that day, whilst bringin' in her plants that had spent time outside on the deck, Peepers discovered a big ol' white stain on a pepper.

Yup, there was woodpecker poop on Peepers' potted pepper.  

Try sayin' THAT five times, quickly.

MOUSES!

The good news is, the heatin' system is fine.  The bad news is, two days later and I'm STILL hearin' her complain 'bout that bird poop.  Personally, I think she should be thankful the poop was on a potted pepper plant and not on a peep named Peppers.

I mean, Peepers.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

it's sprung

It's sprung, Peepers.  It's sprung!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

I said, it's sprung.

MOUSES!

No, I'm not sayin' it's spring.  I'm sayin', it's sprung.  You gettin' hard of hearin' in your old age, ol' peep of mine?

What am I sayin'?  The peep is as old as the hills.  It's not like old age is anythin' new.  Bwahahahahahahahaha...

My gosh I crack myself up.

MOUSES!

I am NOT not makin' sense, Peepers.  I'm sayin', it's sprung.  It has sprung.  You know, now with the weather bein' spring-like, and all.

Hmmm...

So in other words...

Spring has sprung.

So in OTHER words...

I guess I am kinda sayin' it's spring.

MOUSES!

It's spring, Peepers.  It's spring!

MOUSES!

But all that is beside the point, there, ol' peep of mine.  You're distractin' me to no end.  The point I'm tryin' to make is that the sun is shinin', the mercury is showin' double digits, and there isn't even a trace of a nasty, cold wind.  Plus, the daffies are bloomin', the primroses are startin', and the sound of lawnmowers is fillin' the air.

SPRING HAS SPRUNG 'cause the weather has caught up with the calendar, over there.

The one on the wall, Peepers.  The calendar hangin' over there on the wall.  I needed a word that would rhyme with air.

MOUSES!

But just you wait.  It won't be long now before you're complainin' about the heat.

And drought.

And all those other things peeps tend to complain about, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

Well look at that.  First really nice day of spring and she's complain' already.

MOUSES!

IF YOU'RE ALL HOT AND BOTHERED, PEEPERS, WHY DON'T YOU TURN DOWN THE HEAT.   AND TAKE OFF THAT STUPID OL' PARKA, WHILE YOU'RE AT IT!

Parka...  Sweater...  Whatever.

MOUSES!

My gosh, peeps can be so stupid at times.  JUST BECAUSE YESTERDAY was kinda chilly, it doesn't mean today can't be nice.  The trick is to go with the flow.  To adjust.  And, of course, to recognise that here in Nova Scotia, if you don't like the weather right now...

WAIT ABOUT FIVE MINUTES OR SO.

'Cause it'll change, to be sure.

And if you don't wanna wait, just go look out the other door.

One never knows what the front door might offer if the back one is not to your likin'.  Believe me, I know.  Been there and done that, many a time, and...

OH FOR MOUSIN' OUT LOUD, PEEPERS.  I TOLD YOU, TAKE OFF THAT COAT.  Spring has arrived and the weather is nice, and there's no need for you to be dressin' for winter.

Today.

Tomorrow could be a totally different story.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

up to her old tricks

So I walked into my office the other night, and...

Yeah, that's right, it's MY office.  MY domain.  MY special place where I rule, and...

Okay, so actually, I rule ALL OVER the house but that's neither here not there.  The point is, the office is mine and in MY office, I am the law.

At least I'm supposed to be.

And for the most part, I am.

And...

Oh, never mind that.  The thing is, I, Seville the Cat, walked into MY office the other night, and looked all around only to find...

A mess.  A big ol' mess.  The messiest of messes.  It was...

It was a right ol' mess, to be sure.

MOUSES!

There was pottin' mix all over the floor.  Bits scattered here and there.  Pretty much everywhere.  To tell you the truth, it was hard for me to even see the floor.  You know, on account of all the pottin' mix strewn about, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

FINE.  So apparently, there was maybe a pawful or two of that pottin' mix scattered about on the floor.  Probably not even enough to warrant the vacuum bein' brought out.  Probably just a broom would do.

But nevertheless...

THERE WAS POTTIN' MIX ALL OVER MY OFFICE FLOOR.

MOUSES!

Plus, there was water.  It looked like a flood!  Yeah, it looked like there had been a flood in there of Biblical proportions.  There was water, everywhere.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

FINE.  Apparently, there was maybe a teaspoon or two.

But nevertheless...

THERE WAS WATER ALL OVER MY OFFICE FLOOR.

MOUSES!

And as I looked about the room that appeared to have been ransacked by a horde or maraudin' somethin' or others immediately prior, durin', or after a great flood that had washed up copious amounts of pottin' soil; that's when I realised...

That's when I realised...

THAT'S when I realised...

PEEPERS WAS UP TO HER OLD TRICKS, ONCE MORE.

MOUSES!

You see, as spring is upon us, ol' Peepers is pottin' up plants.  Pepper plants, to be exact.  Yup, that's right, I'm talking 'bout Peepers pottin' up a her pepped-up plants.  Namely, her peppers.

AND SHE'S POTTING 'EM UP IN MY OFFICE.

 And makin' a mess of the floor.

MOUSES!

Oh sure, she tidied everythin' up, later.

But I heard she'll be pottin' up more.

All over MY office floor.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, some peeps have no respect for a kitty's space.  If anyone is gonna make a mess in my office, it's gonna be me.  Who the mouses does she think she is, makin' a mess in MY office?

Thanks-be-to-goodness it was only pottin' soil,  'cause let me tell you somethin', my friends: if Peepers starts makin' litter box type messes all over my floor...

*stares straight ahead, eyes wide in horror*

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

blah, blah, blah...

Blah, blah, blah...

Blah, blah, blah...

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH...

In case you were wonderin' there, Peepers, I DID hear you the first time.

Just wasn't payin' attention, is all.

MOUSES!

That ever happen to you, my friends?  You ever have a peep come home from a walk and go on and on and on...  And on and on and on...  AND ON AND ON AND ON 'bout stuff 'bout which you couldn't care less?

Well I'm tellin' ya, Peepers came home from her walkies this mornin' and all I heard was lilacs this and apple blossoms that and somethin' or other 'bout lily-of-the-valley.  You'd think the woman had never smelled a flower before.

MOUSES!

What's more, not only was she tellin' me 'bout all this stuff 'bout which I didn't wanna be told, but she...

She...

She...

SHE ACTUALLY EXPECTED ME TO LISTEN!

MOUSES!

So I, of course, rolled over on my other side, covered up my ears with my two front paws, and proceeded to try to fall asleep.

Which just made her talk all the louder.

MOUSES!

For the love of mouses, I have no idea why she's so infatuated with the smells of bloomin' flowers so much.  Personally, I think they kinda stink.  And so OBVIOUSLY I couldn't care less if the lilacs and apple blossoms and lilies-of-the-valley are in full bloom.  Give me a dead mouse or somethin' any day, I say, but never - NEVER! - ask me to stick my nose in a bunch of bloomin' flowers.

Unless they're nip flowers, of course, but that kinda goes without sayin'.

MOUSES!

So after I realised my rollin' over and coverin' my ears wasn't gonna get me out of listenin' to her babblin', I took one good look at the peep and said, "Listen here, ol' peep of mine.  If you're so in love with these stinky ol' flowers, what's with your fascination with my deposits in the litter box?  One would think - and rightly so - that anyone so interested in what Saffy and I leave in our litter, would be more interested in smells akin to...

Well...

Used litter."

Not to mention the accompanyin' organics and things.

MOUSES!

Well the peep just stood there, jaw hangin' halfway down to the floor, and without sayin' a word she spun on her heels and walked right out the door.

I, not wantin' her to get in the last word even if she DIDN'T actually say anythin' on account of her speakin' without words, called out after her.  "AND DON'T YOU BE EXPECTIN' US KITTIES TO START POOPIN' OUT ROSE-STINKIN' POOP, 'CAUSE THAT WOULD BE WAY TOO STINKY FOR WORDS."

MOUSES!

Well I have no idea what she thought of that 'cause like I said, she was already through the door and outta the room.  I did, however, hear a faint cry followed by several weird thumpin' sounds.

Probably her hittin' her head against the wall or somethin' like that.

Again.

I have absolutely NO IDEA why she does stupid stuff like that.

Silly peep.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

not again

Not again...

*sighs*

MOUSES!

Every year it's the same thing.  EVERY year.  Every year 'round this time, Peepers' fingers start turnin' green...

NO, it's not on account of her wearin' cheap jewellery.

Okay, so maybe it is.  Maybe her jewellery is cheap, I mean.  I can't help the fact that I have a limited budget and have sometimes given her cheap stuff.  And when you think about it, it's her own fault, really, on account of the fact that she has gone and hidden her plastic money from me...  AGAIN.  Had she not gone and done that, AGAIN, I'd be able to buy her somethin' really nice for Peepers' day.  Somethin' not so cheap.  You know?

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

I DIDN'T KNOW that catnip I ordered that one time was gonna be so expensive.  I didn't know!

Gosh darn it, a kitty orders a few kilos of primo nip on-line - ONCE - and a kitty is never allowed to forget 'bout its price.

MOUSES!

But anyway, as I was sayin'...

As I was sayin', every year 'round this time, Peepers gets this itch to...

NO, she doesn't have a fungal infection.

NO, she doesn't have fleas, either.

I don't think.

And NO, she doesn't have...

Okay, truth be told, I don't even know what that is.  But it really does sound disgustin', for sure.

MOUSES!

But as I was sayin'...

As I was sayin', every year 'round this time, Peepers starts itchin' to get those somewhat green thumbs of hers into some dirt and start plantin'.  Plantin' seeds...  Transplantin' baby plants...  You know, that sorta thing.

AND THE PROBLEM with all this plantin' is...

The problem is, half the stuff she plants is probably gonna die.  You see, Peepers' thumbs aren't nearly as green as she'd like to think.  Come this time next month, there are likely gonna be a whole lotta DEAD plants in those pots of hers.

And then...

And then...

And then I'm gonna have to hear all about it.  And she's gonna expect me to be all it's-okay-there-Peepers and it's-not-the-end-of-the-world and there's-no-need-to-cry-over-spilt-pottin'-mix and that sorta thing.  And let me tell you somethin', my friends...

Let me tell you...

Let me tell you somethin', my friends:THAT SORTA THING is simply not in my nature.  I'm a cat.  We cat's don't do stuff like that.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

rain, rain...

Rain, rain, go away; come again another day.

And it will, of course.  Go away, I mean, eventually; although maybe not today.

It'll probably come back again, too.

MOUSES!

So here I - Seville the Cat - am, sittin' in my office, typin' up my blog post, longingly lookin' out the window; and what do I see?  NOTHIN'.  Nothin' at all.  Nothin' but rain fallin' outta the sky.

MOUSES!

Okay, so there are some birdies out there.  Yeah, I see birdies outside, flittin' about.  Goldfinches and chickadees, I think.  Saw the female cardinal earlier, too, hoppin' about on the driveway.  Birdies don't seem to mind gettin' all wet from the rain.

But me?  Well I, Seville the Cat, certainly do mind gettin' rained upon, for sure.  A cat gets his gorgeous marmalade furs all wet from the rain, and do you know what a cat like me then has to do?  DO you?

Well I'll tell you what a cat like me has to do after gettin' all wet from the rain.  A cat like me then has to have a bath.

MOUSES!

No, not the gettin' in the tub with stinky smellin' bubble bath kinda bath.  That would be gross.  That would be super gross, for sure.  No, after bein' rained upon, a cat like me has to GIVE HIMSELF a bath.  A dry bath.  A dry bath by lickin' himself all over with his tongue.  You know, like God intended cats like me do.

Now I'm a very clean kitty by nature, so it's not like I MIND givin' myself a bath.  In fact, I do it all the time.  But the thing is...

The thing is...

The thing is, that time could be better spent nappin' and nippin' and procuring tasty snacks.

MOUSES!

So to avoid gettin' rained upon, I guess I'm stuck here in the house for the day.

*SIGHS*

Stuck here with nothin' to do.

*SIGHS*

Stuck here with...

OH MY MOUSES!  WHY DIDN'T I THINK OF THIS EARLIER?  Methinks...

Methinks...

Methinks today is THE PERFECT DAY for gettin' high on the nip.  And afterwards I'll have some snacks.  And after that...

I'LL TAKE A NICE, LONG NAP.

And all from the comfort of home.

No dry bathin' required.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

zombies

She never learns.  Nope, she never, ever learns.

*shakes head*

Never in a million years will she learn, I bet.

*sighs*

MOUSES!

What am I sayin'?  Of course Peepers won't learn in a million years.  My gosh, the woman must be several million years old by now.  At least!  I mean, she's as old as the hills, right?  And most hills are more than a few million years old.  There's no chance she'll learn better in nothin' but a measly million years.

MOUSES!

What's that?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

YOU ARE TOO as old as the hills.  I've said so many a time here on my blog, and no one has ever - NOT EVER - fact-checked me, sayin' otherwise.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, yesterday was a beautiful spring day.  The sun was shinin' and the temperature was warm.  Double digits, in fact.  Yesterday was really and truly THE BEST day so far of 2022.

Saffy and I spent the day loungin' in the sun, inhalin' the sweet earthy scents of newly worked soil, listenin' to birdies chirpin', and breathin' in fresh air carried by gentle breezes.  At one point I even thought I smelled flowers.  Might have, actually, 'cause the daphnes are bloomin'.  On the other paw, it might have been Peepers' perfume.

Yup, that's right, Peepers was out there pesterin' us by breathin' in OUR fresh air, listenin' to OUR birdies singin' to US, and occasionally obstructin' OUR sunshine by castin' shadows as she crossed our paths.

The nerve of that peep.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, you're probably wonderin' what it is Peepers hasn't yet and probably never will learn.

Well...

Well every year 'bout this time, 'bout the time we have the first really nice spring day, Peepers heads on out into the garden and decides to get as much gardenin' done as a gardenin' peep can get done.  But she never prepares.  She never thinks things through.  She never does anythin' to prevent herself from lookin' like the walkin' dead - aka zombie gardener - the very next day.

Does Peepers stretch before headin' into the garden for the very first time?  Of course not.  I, Seville the Cat, have been known to do preparatory stretches prior to stretchin'!  I'm a very smart kitty, you see.

And does Peepers try to work her way up to her first full day of gardenin' for the year?  Of course not.  I, Seville the Cat, work my way up to full garden inspections every spring.  I inspect the garden for ten minutes one day, then twenty the next, then a full hour the followin'.  Never, ever, ever have I gone from zero to twelve in one day.  'Cause I'm a very smart kitty, you see.

And does Peepers put on her sunscreen the first full day out so as not to end up with cheeks that are a little too rosy?  Of course not.  Oh sure, she may have doused herself in perfume, but the sunscreen she apparently forgot.  I, Seville the Cat...

Okay, so I don't wear sunscreen, BUT I DID roll in some catnip prior to spendin' the day sunbathin' and that's a pretty close equivalent, I am sure.  Like I said earlier, I'm a very smart kitty, you see.

The bottom line is, Peepers is walkin' around the house today like a zombie, my friends.  And when she bends down to serve us - puttin' down plates of food, extra treats, bowls of water, that sorta thing - she makes funny noises.  Kinda like a not-so-well oiled rusty and squeaky tool.  It's ridiculous, for sure, and quite annoying to my ears.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're wonderin' what Saffy and I are doin' to make our rusty, zombie garden tool - aka Peepers - feel better.

NOTHIN'.  ABSOLUTELY BLOOMIN' NOTHIN'.  NOTHIN' AT ALL, FOR SURE.

And do you know why Saffy and I aren't liftin' a paw to aid that ol' gardenin' zombie peep of ours?

'CAUSE SHE SHOULD KNOW BETTER BY NOW, THAT'S WHY.

I mean, every year it's the same thing.  Every single year.  Every year she goes out and does the very same thing, and every year I have to put up with her cries of pain and agony as she reaches for somethin' or whatever; not to mention the doleful looks I get when I ask her to get up off her lazy zombie tail and get me more treats.  EVERY YEAR!

I'm tellin' ya, it's more than a kitty can bear.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

snip-snip

Tomorrow's the big day.  Yup, tomorrow is Saffron's BIG day, for sure.  Tomorrow is the day that my brother Saffy Saffron Saffers Sassafras - yeah, I call him that sometimes - goes in for his uh...

Umm...

Well, you know...

His SNIP-SNIP.

*wink wink*

MOUSES!

And let me tell you somethin', my friends, tomorrow can't come soon enough.

MOUSES!!!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', didn't I, Seville the Cat, blog 'bout Saffy's big day before?

You know somethin', my friends?   You're right!  I did.  I, Seville the Cat, DID blog 'bout Saffy's big day before, but...

But before when I blogged 'bout his big day, his big day was off in the far and distant future.  NOW his big day is tomorrow.

MOUSES!

Peepers and I have our paws crossed we won't get too much snow tomorrow like the weatherpeeps are sayin' we might.  We're purrin' and prayin' we don't get so much snow that Saffy's appointment will have to be rescheduled.  We're purrin' and...

What's that you're asking 'bout now?

Oh, that.  Yeah, THAT.  Yup, Ol' Mother Nature is havin' mood swings again so EVEN THOUGH IT'S APRIL ALREADY, we're expectin' a snowstorm tomorrow.  Ten centimetres, they say.  Maybe more!  I'm tellin' ya, it's as disgustin' as disgustin' can get.  DISGUSTIN'!

Although to tell you the truth...

To tell you the truth, these mood swings of Mother Nature's are not unlike the cryin' and howlin' Saffry Saffron Saffers Sassafras has been doin' at four in the mornin' before the sun has even THOUGHT about gettin' up.  Before ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND has thought about gettin' up, to be sure.

Thus, the need for the snip-snip to happen tomorrow.

And after the snip-snip, I'm hopin' I'll get a chance to sleep in.  'Cause a cat like me NEEDS his beauty sleep, you see.

Well, truth be told, I'D be beautiful - HANDSOME, I mean - whether I got my beauty sleep or not.  I mean, just look at this face.  How could this face NOT be as beautiful and handsome as can be?

However, it's a totally different situation with the peep.  Let's just say, Peepers needs her sleep.  Yup, Peepers needs her beauty sleep, for sure.  I'm tellin' ya, if Peepers doesn't start gettin' a good night's sleep on a regular basis, other peeps in the neighbourhood are gonna start leavin' crates of night creams and serums and gels and all sorts of stuff along with gift cards and certificates for local plastic surgeons on our doorstep just so they don't have to look at her harried, harassed, and haggard ol' face, and...

What's that?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

What am I tellin' my readers, you ask?

Uh...

Umm...

Nothin'.  Nothin' at all.  Just casually mentionin' that tomorrow is the Day of the Snip.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

lions and lambs

In like a lion and out like a lamb.

Well that's what's SUPPOSED to happen but let me tell you somethin', my friends, I'm pretty sure that ol' lion must have eaten the lamb.

MOUSES!

So here we are at the end of March and do you know what happened to me yesterday?  DO you?

It snowed.

Not a lot of snow, mind you, but still, it was snow.  I had to walk through the white stuff and everythin'.

MOUSES!

And do you know what happened to me the day before that?  What happened on Monday?  DO you?

It hailed!

MOUSES!

I, Seville the Cat, had never even seen hail before.  Well I don't think I had, anyway.  Maybe somethin' kinda resemblin' hail, but not actual hail.  More like uh....  Um...  Shaved ice, I do believe.  But Monday?

Well on Monday it was rainin' peas, I tell you.  Rainin' peas!  Only they weren't green like peas usually are, but white.  Also, they weren't actual peas.  They were pea-sized chunks of ice.

MOUSES!

And it was weirder than that, my friends.  Weirder that that!  Yes, weirder than packages of frozen white peas that weren't actually peas bein' pelted at me.  To tell you the truth, it was weirder than weird.  It was...

Well...

Spooky, to say the least.

MOUSES!

You see, only moments earlier, the temperature was mild and the sun was breakin' through the clouds.  In fact, at one point I looked up at the blue sky and sunshine and thought it was gonna be a lovely, beautiful day.  'Cept for those dark ominous clouds off in the not-too-distant distance, of course.

But that's when it got weird.  One moment the sun was shinin', then it got all dark, then the wind whipped up, and then...

THEN THE FROZEN PEAS BEGAN THEIR ATTACK.

On me.

MOUSES!

But all that aside...

What worries me most...

What worries me most is that Friday is April Fools' Day and if Mother Nature was hurlin' frozen peas that aren't peas at me on Monday, WHAT THE MOUSES IS SHE GONNA DO ON THE FIRST?

Too scary to even think about, I think.  Too scary to think about, for sure.

But now that I AM thinkin', I have a question to ask:  Is it April Fools' Day or April Fool's?

Hmmm...

Guess it all depends on the number of fools.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

one hundred and four

Just when I thought...

Just when I thought this ol' pandemic thingy was windin' down...

Just when I thought this ol' pandemic thingy was windin' down, and spring and nice weather would be upon us and stuff, Ol' Man Winter decided to stick around.

MOUSES!

That's right, my friends, after five hundred and sixty-six million, ninety-two thousand, eight hundred cat seconds, I thought we were well on our way to endin' this pandemic of the century.  I THOUGHT with mornin' arrivin' an hour early today - daylight savings time, don't-cha-know, flocks of red robins visitin' the holly bush like the holly berries are on for half price due to an end of season sale, and after havin' some kinda nice days last week; Miss Spring would be arrivin' with her suitcase and settlin' in as a welcome visitor at my house with no isolation or social distancin' required.  She was gonna be our first house guest since the pandemic began!

But then...

But then, little Miss Spring decided to continue social distancin' and isolating, and not make the trip to my house, after all.

MOUSES!

So here I am, not only stuck with two good-for-nothin' peeps but stuck with Ol' Man Winter, as well.  And let me tell you somethin', my friends...

OL' MAN WINTER IS AS CRANKY AS A CRANKY OL' MAN CAN GET.

MOUSES!

Why all last night he was huffin' and puffin' outside, blowin' down small branches and things.

And I thought PEEPERS could herself get into a huff.

MOUSES!

Oh, and that wind he's blowin' about is as cold as cold can get.

Okay, so maybe not as cold as it was in the dead of winter, but it's a far cry from Miss Spring's accompanying warm weather.

MOUSES!

But I'm thinkin'...

I'm thinkin'...

I'm thinkin' I can outsmart this winter dude, for sure.  I mean, I'm a cat, after all, and cats are smarter than the seasons, right?  Right.  Of course we are.

MOUSES!

Good gosh, he musta heard me sayin' that 'cause that last puff of hot...  I mean, COLD air he huffed almost blew my house right down!  Guy must be related to the big bad wolf, I think.

Good thing I'm not a little piggy.

MOUSES!

Oh shush up there, Peepers.  ENOUGH WITH THE FAT JOKES.  MY BEIN' A CONNOISSEUR OF THE TREATS DOESN'T MAKE ME A PIGGY.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

hey ho!

Hey ho, Sivvers the Cat here, reportin' LIVE from sunny...

Nope, not sunny at all.

But it is mild.

Hey ho, Sivvers the Cat here, reportin' LIVE from mild and rainy Nova Scotia.

But hang on a minute or two, and the freezin' cold winter will be back in no time.

MOUSES!

Let me tell you somethin', my friends.  Let me tell you!  Let me tell you 'bout this weird weather we've been havin' as of late.

Rain.  Cold.  Freezin' rain.  Warm and sunny!  Snow and freezin' cold.  It's the weirdest weather I ever did see.  And the thing is...

The thing is...

The thing is, due to all these ups and downs - Winter.  Spring.  Fall.  Winter.  Fall.  Spring! - over the course of a matter of weeks, I no longer know what season it is.  It's like Mother Nature decided to go into hyper drive and we're experiencin' five or six years in three or four weeks.

MOUSES!

And Saffron?

Well, Saffy Saffron Saffers is payin' a premium price due to this weird weather, for sure.  One day he thinks it's spring and starts howlin', lookin' for girls, and the next day he's doin' the winter thing and is snuggled up on the big green chair in the livin' room which, by the way, he has commandeered as his own.  And then the the next day...

What?  What's that you're askin' me about?

Oh.  That.  The thing 'bout his lookin' for girls.

Well...

Well the thing is, even though Saffron has a girly-girl name, he is most definitely male.  But you already knew that, right?

Too bad the peep didn't know before callin' him Saffron.

MOUSES!

And not only is he a boy, which you already knew, he has most definitely not been neutered.

Thus, the bit 'bout his lookin' for girls.

Peepers called Dr. T as soon as she had Saffy in the house, but my hospital was booked up solid for weeks.  AND WEEKS!  First appointment for surgery she could get was in early April, so...

So...

So mid-March, Saffy Saffron Saffers is goin' in for an appointment to get his vaccines and things, and then...

And then...

Then a couple weeks after that...

Snip, snip.

Bwahahahahahahahaha...

MOUSES!

Can't come soon enough, either.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

one hundred AND ONE

One hundred...

AND ONE.

Weeks, that is.

MOUSES!

Which means, my friends, that I've been stuck here with the peeps now for five hundred and forty nine million, seven hundred and sixty-three thousand, two hundred cat seconds.

MOUSES!

But there's hope on the horizon, there is.  Yup, hope on the horizon, for sure, 'cause spring is just around the...

Well, spring is nowhere to be seen, I'm afraid; but the calendar says it's gettin' closer which means ol' Peepers has been plantin' seeds and things, and is therefore generally in a pretty good mood these days.

'Cept when Saffron knocks those seeds and things down.

MOUSES!

But we're workin' on that!  Yup, I've been workin' on trainin' Saffron to not knock stuff down from the windowsills.

Unfortunately, Saffron isn't easily trained.

But luckily, Peepers is!

Okay, so she's not THAT easily trained.  I mean, it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks, you know?  And it turns out that it's hard to teach an old broad...  I mean, peep, new tricks, too.

MOUSES!

What I should have said is that Peepers is easiER to train than Saffron.

It's not sayin' much, I know, but it is somethin', I do believe.

MOUSES!

So in order to avoid heartache and my havin' to invest in earplugs for when Peepers expresses her grief at the loss of her plants, I have been workin' on trainin' that ol' peep of mine.  Trainin' her to not leave her seeds and things on the windowsills, that is.

MOUSES!

And it seems to be workin', for Peepers has managed to confine her spring planting to the sunroom and our..  I mean, MY office, and the doors to these rooms are remainin' closed so that Saffron cannot get in to do damage and so far, so good, I think.

Of course, ol' Peepers almost walked into our...  I mean, MY office door the other day, forgettin' it had been closed but hey, accidents happen, you know?

And who cares if Peepers bangs her head on a door?  It's not like it's likely to do any damage.

MOUSES!

Okay, so maybe it is, on account of Peepers carryin' a big ol' paper bag of groceries at the time which, I believe, contained packages of treats; and treats can get crushed between doors and a peep and that IS A DISASTER OF MONSTROUS PROPORTIONS, for sure.

No cat likes his temptations crushed and turned into rubble.

MOUSES!

And speakin' of rubble...

Yeah, I've nothin' for that.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.