Sunday 19 September 2021

seventy-nine weeks


Are you gonna put up with that, Saffron?  Are you gonna put up with that crap?


You ARE?


MOUSES!


By gosh and by golly, I, Seville the Cat, would not be puttin' up with that.  Bad enough I've had to put up with those two good-for-nothin' peeps I call my own, for the past four hundred and thirty million, twelve thousand, eight hundred cat seconds.  I'm certainly not gonna be puttin' up with anythin' more!


MOUSES!


Are you SURE you're gonna put up with that, Saffron?  Are you SURE?  You're not just bein' extra sweet and nice, hopin' that if you are, you'll get more treats?


You DID?  You did get more treats?  REALLY?


MOUSES!


So you're sayin'...


So you're sayin'...


So you're sayin' that if you sit quietly on the veranda chair while watchin' that neighbourhood cat eat all your fuds, not makin' a fuss at all...


THEN PEEPERS WILL COME OUT AFTERWARD AND GIVE YOU MORE FUDS?  PLUS MORE TREATS?


WHY THE MOUSES DID I NOT KNOW 'BOUT THIS BEFORE?


MOUSES!


So that's what happened, huh?  Because that neighbourhood lad ate all your fuds...  And you were so good about it, lettin' him eat all your fuds and all...  And because Peepers KNEW you were so good about his eatin' all your fuds...


Because of all that...


Because of all that, YOU GOT MORE FUDS?  AND MORE TREATS, TOO?


MOUSES!


I've been doin' this all wrong, all these years.


And why do you think this neighbourhood cat is eatin' your fuds, Saffy?  You don't think he's starvin', do you?  He doesn't look like a starvin' boy.  He LOOKS like he hasn't missed many meals.  He...


What's that?  What's that, Saffron?  What's that you're sayin', now?


You're sayin' he has a big appetite on account of his bein' orange?  Orange cats will eat whether they're actually hungry or not, you say?  You say it's a well-known fact orange cats have the ability to eat their weight in treats?  Orange cats have a tendency to be on the plus side, you say?  You say orange cats...


HEY...


WAIT A MINUTE THERE, SAFFY SAFFRON SAFFERS...


I, SEVILLE THE CAT, AM ORANGE.



And I'll have you know, I am NOT fat.


I'm big-boned.


MOUSES!



***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

18 comments:

  1. You certainly aren't fat Seville, just properly foodiefied!

    ReplyDelete
  2. There seem to be lots of rumors floating around about orange cats, doesn't there?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There sure do. I, Seville the Cat, AM GONNA HAVE TO DO SOMETHING 'BOUT THAT, for sure. MOUSES!

      Delete
  3. You're not fat at all, Sivvers! Hey, wait, isn't Saffron orange, too???

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now, you'd THINK so, wouldn't you, but you've gotta remember how Peepers is a TOTAL LOSER NINCOMPOOP when it comes to givin' us cats names. Not only is Saffy Saffron Saffers not a girl - I don't think - but she's not orange, either. Or blonde! Saffron is dark charcoal grey. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. Seville, you're fluffy, not fat!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah... YEAH... I'm FLUFFY, that's it.

      And big-boned.

      NOT fat.

      MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. Trim is what I'd say, Seville. And anyway, if you can still get through the cat flap then whats the issue?
    Anyways, as to this whole sharing to get extra treats and food, I think Saffy may be onto something, clever lad. Not as cleveras yourself, Seville, but learning and taking inspiration from a master!
    Purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Who ever knew?

      WHO EVER KNEW?

      Who ever knew you could give some away in order to get more?

      MOUSES!

      Delete
  6. I know all about the appetites of orange cats. :)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That some kinda fat joke?

      WE'RE BIG BONED!

      And sometimes fluffy.

      MOUSES!

      Delete
  7. My Ginger , Prancie was "big boned" too. :)

    ReplyDelete
  8. Seville, you are purrfect as you are, and don't let anyone tell you differently!

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.