Wednesday 19 May 2021

meow


"Meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow.  MEOW!"


"Meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow, meow meow."


"Meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow, meow meow meow.  Me.....  Meow!  Meow meow."


For mousin' out loud, woman, that cat is nipped.


MOUSES!


"Meow meow meow meow..."


*Seville holds a paw up in front of Saffron's face, then turns to the peep*


Peepers, just how much catnip did you give Saffron, anyway?  She's as drunk as a skunk, she is.  High as a kite.  As nipped as a uh...  Um...  Uh...


Yeah, I got nothin' for that.


MOUSES!


But the thing is...


What I'm tryin' to say...


That cat is nipped.


MOUSES!


Just listen to her, Peepers.  She's babblin' on about this and that, not to mention that and this.  And all the while, she's not actually sayin' anythin' at all!


That's what I do.


MOUSES!


Saffron, I know you're not livin' inside yet.  I know you're not yet comfortable enough with the peeps to come indoors.  But when you do, you're gonna have to learn how to handle your nip.  This here is a house where the catnip flows like water, it does.  You know, on account of my bein' a gentlecat nip farmer, and all.  So in this family, it's super important to know how to pace yourself when imbibin'.  And even if Peepers does go and give you a whole whack of the nip all at once...


"Meow meow meow meow."


What?  What's that?  What's that you're sayin', Saffron?


You mean to say Peepers didn't give you the nip?  She gave you no catnip at all?


But then...  How...  Why...


Look Saffron, you're obviously high on the nip.  If Peepers didn't give you catnip, where did you...


OH MY MOUSES.... Saffron, you didn't go out and steal that nip, did you?  Surely you haven't turned to crime to satisfy your catnip habit.  Surely...


SURELY YOU DIDN'T STEAL THAT NIP FROM MY STASH.


*runs to check on stash and finds it intact*


So Saffron, where exactly DID you get the catnip?


"Meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow, meow meow, meow meow meow, meow meow.  Meow meow!"


Oh!  Oh yeah...  I forgot about that catnip plant Peepers planted over by the holly bush for you.  You were munchin' on that, were ya?  Well that's okay, Saffron.  That plant is all yours.


"Meow meow meow meow meow meow, meow meow."


What exactly do you mean by the catnip plant that WAS over by the holly bush?"


"Meow meow."


YOU ATE IT ALL?


*jaw drops TO THE FLOOR*


BUT THAT CATNIP PLANT WAS HUGE!


No wonder you're nipped.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.


18 comments:

  1. Ya really gotta watch those humans around the nip!

    ReplyDelete
  2. DOOD...SAFFRON IZ GONNA HAZA A CASE OH DE MUNCHEEZ !!!!! ;) ☺☺♥♥

    WUNDER JUST HOW MUCH HER TROO LEE DID CONSOOM !!! ☺☺ POUNDZ WE BET ☺☺♥♥

    ReplyDelete
  3. Saffron, enjoy yourself! There are no lasting effects!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 'Cept maybe a couple extra ounces after those nip-induced munchies. MOUSES!

      Delete
  4. I'm glad she doesn't live here - my catnip garden is safe!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is, my friend. But MINE, on the other paw...

      MOUSES!

      Delete
  5. MOUSES! Saffron went full on with that nip, eh, Sivvers?

    ReplyDelete
  6. I'm sure it was just for medical use only. Hahaha!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yikes, better get that peep to plant loads more nip. Tons in fact! OR send Saffron into rehab!
    Toodle pips and purrs
    ERin

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know, RIGHT? Peepers needs to start seedin' the nip RIGHT NOW 'cause my purrsonal supply, if Saffron gets into it, won't last at all. MOUSES!

      Delete
  8. Saffron has found the nip Seville. Remember nothing is truly safe with a feral feline around

    ReplyDelete
  9. I hope Saffron decides to move in soon. :) XO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Me too. I could sure do with the extra help dealin' with these peeps of mine. They're a lot to handle for one cat, you know? Of course you do. MOUSES!

      Delete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.