Excuse me a mo...
While I count this last toe...
Carry the nine.
No, that's not right. That's way, way too low.
Uh-huh, uh-huh. Yup. Got it.
Okay, the math is all done and I can now say with one hundred percent certainty that I've been cooped up in this here house with these here peeps for three hundred and thirty-seven million, four hundred and seventy-eight thousand, four hundred cat seconds now, and....
AND IT'S DRIVIN' ME BATTY, FOR SURE.
But this weekend happens to be a holiday weekend, so it shouldn't be quite as bad as most other weekends, on account of my countin' on celebratin' with copious amounts of the nip.
Not that I NEED a reason to imbibe in catnip, of course.
So what's the big celebration, you ask?
Well tomorrow, May 24th, SOMEBODY is havin' a Gotcha Day.
Kinda. Sorta. Whatever.
No, it's not me.
But tomorrow, May 24th, IS SOMEONE'S Gotcha Day. It's the Gotcha Day of Queen Victoria!
Like I said: Kinda. Sorta. Whatever.
Okay, okay, I admit it, it's not your traditional Gotcha Day, per se. It's more of a...
Nah, that's not right, either.
It's called a ROAMING birthday, I do believe.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', what the mouses is a roamin' birthday? That somethin' Seville the Cat just made up out of his head?
And that would be about right.
The thing is, tomorrow is actually Queen Victoria's birthday, for she, also known here in Canada as the Mother of Confederation, was born on May 24th, 1819. That's right, if she were still alive today, she'd be turnin' two hundred and two years old tomorrow, and I don't wanna even START doin' the math figurin' out how many cat seconds that is.
Don't think my calculator even goes that high.
But like next year? Next year, we'll be celebratin' on the 23rd. And last year her birthday was on the 18th, so...
So that's why I'm callin' it a ROAMIN' birthday, you see.
So tomorrow, I'LL BE CELEBRATIN' WITH CATNIP, all day long. Nip mice for slobberin', niptinis for drinkin', and sprigs of the nip garnishin' my fuds. It's gonna be a nip-filled fun day, for sure.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', Queen Victoria, if she were here, would be far too prim and proper - her bein' a queen and all, to be gettin' high on the nip.
BUT ARE YOU SURE?
'Cause I looked it up, you see. Turns out, Queen V liked to enjoy a tipple, now and again. I couldn't actually find any references to her views on nip mouse slobberin', or niptinis for that matter, either. I couldn't actually find any references to her views on catnip at all! But...
But I'm pretty sure IF she had access to the good stuff like MY HOMEGROWN CATNIP, she would certainly be enjoyin' a niptini or two.
Maybe even three.
So when tomorrow day rolls around, my friends...
First thing I'll be doin'...
In celebration of Queen Victoria's roamin' birthday, of course.
SO RAISE YOUR GLASSES AND NIP MICE, MY FRIENDS.
HAPPY ROAMIN' BIRTHDAY QUEEN V!
And Happy Victoria Day to everyone else.
IF IN DOUBT,
DON'T. GO. OUT.
Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures
AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.
Remember to mask up, too.
Remember to mask up, too.