Wednesday 28 April 2021

don't make me...


Don't make me...


DON'T make me...


I SAID, DON'T MAKE ME COME PEE ON YOU.


Or poop.


MOUSES!


Yeah, you heard me.  YOU heard me.  YOU heard me, you stupid peep.  YOU HEARD ME, for sure!


What... You need me to ILLUSTRATE what I'm gonna do?


Oh-kay...


Now stand still there, Peepers.  I said, STAND STILL!  Yeah, stand right there while I lift my tail, and...


Oopsie!  Heeheeheeheehee...  Sorry 'bout that, Peepers.  You're not the peep I need to pee on, at all.


Easy mistake to make.


MOUSES!


Okay, so here's the deal: like I wrote 'bout on Sunday, WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF A PANDEMIC, HERE!  And peeps had better start smartenin' up, for sure.


MOUSES!


You know, peeps like to think they're the superior species.  Well yeah, if superior actually means doin' our best to pro-L-O-N-G this pandemic - and the resultin' pandemic response - for as long as we possibly can, they might have a point.  Thing is though, I don't think that's what superior means, at all.


Makes you wonder, huh?  Yup, makes you wonder if maybe CATS are the superior species after all.


Wonder?  Ha!  More like KNOW, I believe.


MOUSES!


I'm disgusted, I tell you.  I'm disgusted!  They were partyin' in Wolfville.  Thirty of 'em, I believe.  THIRTY!  Now even I know thirty exceeds the gatherin' limit of five or ten.  And...  And, and...  And...   And for addin' and countin' and stuff, I, Seville the Cat, have only eighteen toes!


Obviously no one in that group of partyin' peeps is known for excellin' at math.


MOUSES!


And that was this week.  Last week, there were twenty-two of the non-mathematically inclined at a party in Halifax.


MOUSES!


I'm tellin' ya, I'M GONNA HAVE A WHOLE LOTTA PEEPIN' AND POOPIN' TO DO!


Of course, we're supposed to be stayin' close to home, these days.  No non-essential travel and all that.  Teleportation devise has had to be shut down.  Peepers even took away my eggbeaters and whisks!  So sadly, I can't go pee or poop on those university students in Wolfville and Halifax...


Right now.


*grins a horribly evil grin*


BUT I CAN SAVE IT ALL UP!


BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!


Just you wait, Henry Hi...  I mean, just you wait, partyin' peeps.  Just you wait!  I'm gonna save up every stinky poop I make from now 'til the travel restrictions are lifted, and then...


And then...


AND THEN I'M COMIN' FOR YOU.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.




6 comments:

  1. Pee on the pandemic, it deserves it!!!

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  2. That is a good deterrent, Seville!
    The Hubby and I are not going anywhere, even though we are fully vaccinated, for a long while yet.

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  3. We agree, Sivvers! Peeppers who are not taking caring for others seriously most certainly do need some poopin' and peein'!

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  4. Go get 'em when the restrictions are lifted, Seville, ol' pal. We'd be right behind you if the old girl didn't toss ours almost as quickly as we make deposits.

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  5. I wish you could pee on everyone who doesn't wear masks and social distance. XO

    ReplyDelete
  6. What a bummer that there are humans who are misbehaving - it'll only make the pandemic go on longer.

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.