Fifty... What is it now? Eight? Yeah, fifty-eight. Yup, that's what it is.
So fifty-eight times seven... Multiply that by twenty-four... Carry the nine...
Three hundred and fifteen million, seven hundred and five thousand, six hundred cat seconds.
BREAKING NEWS... WE INTERRUPT THIS PREVIOUSLY SCHEDULED FUNNY AND LIGHT-HEARTED BLOG POST FOR...
A RIGHT TELLIN' OFF.
By Seville the Cat.
Okay peeps of Nova Scotia, ARE YOU LISTENIN'? I, Seville the Cat, am fed up with havin' my two useless, good-for-nothin'-but-openin'-tins peeps on my paws for the past three hundred and fifteen million, seven hundred and five thousand, six hundred cat seconds. I, Seville the Cat, am sick and tired of havin' them home all day, every day, in my way every time I turn around. I, Seville the Cat, am tired of hearin' Peepers' claws-on-the-blackboard voice all the time, on account of her havin' no one to talk to but me when I'm tryin' to nap or work or do whatever I wanna do without bein' pestered by a peep.
I'M SICK OF IT, YOU HEAR?
As a Nova Scotian kitty, I've had it somewhat easy - relatively speakin' - these past fifty-eight weeks. Oh sure, the peeps have been on my paws WAY TOO MUCH. but they could still go safely to the store to get the necessities needed to continue providin' me with the lifestyle to which I've become accustomed. But now...
NOW, NOVA SCOTIA HAS ENTERED THIS OL' PANDEMIC'S THIRD WAVE.
And it's as scary as all get out 'cause let me tell you somethin': I CAN'T TAKE MUCH MORE OF HAVIN' THESE PEEPS ON MY PAWS EVERY DAY, ALL DAY LONG!
And do you know WHY my fair province has entered the third wave? DO you?
Well I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why, for sure.
BAD peeps. Peeps who don't follow Public Health protocols and stuff. Peeps who don't listen to what the doctors say. Peeps who flout Public Health rules. PEEPS!
And even if it's just a few peeps, THERE'S NO WAY THEIR BAD BEHAVIOUR ISN'T GONNA AFFECT US ALL.
And by that I mean, ME.
I remember way back when, when SOME KITTY - not sayin' who - peed in the livin' room. You remember that? I'm sure I blogged 'bout it when it happened. Well even if I didn't, the thing is, ONE kitty peed in livin' room, and it resulted in...
ALL FOUR OF US GETTIN' LOCKED OUT!
Out of the livin' room, that is.
And I remember when SOME KITTY - not sayin' who - played bowlin' with Peepers' plant pots in the sunroom. You remember that? I'm sure I blogged 'bout it back then, but even if I didn't, the thing is, ONE kitty knocked all the plant pots down (My gosh that was fun.) and it resulted in...
ALL OF US KITTIES GETTIN' LOCKED OUT!
Out of the sunroom, that is.
YOU SEE THE PATTERN FORMIN' HERE?
No? Okay, let me give you another example. I remember when SOME KITTY - not sayin' who - didn't come in when Peepers called us in one night, forcin' Peepers to aimlessly wander around in the neighbourhood in her nightie with a flashlight. You remember that? I'm sure I blogged 'bout it back then, but even if I didn't, the thing is, ONE kitty ignored curfew and it resulted in...
ALL OF US KITTIES HAVIN' TO STAY IN THE HOUSE AFTER SUPPERTIME!
NOW you must be seein' the pattern, for sure.
ONE PEEP BEHAVES BADLY AND THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW.... ALL PEEPS END UP BEIN' PUNISHED FOR THE BAD BEHAVIOUR OF THE ONE, AND...
AND I, SEVILLE THE CAT, GET PUNISHED THE MOST 'CAUSE I'M STUCK HOME WITH THE TWO MOST OBNOXIOUS, CAT-CUDDLIN' AND KISSIN', CAT-PESTERIN' PEEPS ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH!
So please... PLEASE.... Please do me a favour and follow all Public Health protocols. I can't take much more of this, my friends. I NEED this pandemic to end. And the sooner we all do what's right, the sooner it will.
End, that is.
Remember to mask up, too.
You're exactly right, Severs. It only takes one or two or three to mess it up for the rest. Where I live, we are in sort of a wave 3, too, for the same reasons. Hang in there. Let's cross our paws that it won't go on for too much longer.ReplyDelete
I'm tellin' ya, I've never been so disgusted with peeps in my life. Never! Peeps have a whole lot of explainin' to do. MOUSES!Delete
You are 100% right, Seville. If everyone had done what they were supposed to we would be back to a lot nearer normal by now. All those Covid deniers and those who think the rules don't apply to them should be rounded up and made to see what it is like in the Covid wards with people on ventilators. The cases here have gone right down and we are gradually easing restrictions. The next easing is next month when up to 6 people can meet indoors, so what is with all these parties with 50+ people going! Why can't they wait!!ReplyDelete
I know! Obviously, some peeps can't count. Well THAT kinda tells you something 'bout their knowledge of science and stuff right there. MOUSES!Delete
That was some pattern Seville! We hope Covid departs everywhere soon.ReplyDelete
It's gettin' worse here, my friend. Worse and worse and worse... All because of peeps. MOUSES!Delete
I think you secretly love having your slaves, I mean peeps around all the time. :)ReplyDelete
I'm okay with having 'em around when they're doin' my biddin', I suppose. BUT WHEN THEY'RE NOT... MOUSES!Delete
I'm so glad our city has things under control and things are opening up. I am crossing my paws it stays that way because... well, I like people, but I don't trust them to know how to behave properly!ReplyDelete
Do they have peep trainin' schools? Askin' for a friend. MOUSES!Delete
We hear you, Sivvers. Always a few bad peeps messing things up for everyone. It's the same way here, unfortunately. We are sorry to hear about your third wave of the virus. :(ReplyDelete
And it's so sad 'cause quite frankly, we didn't have to have a wave three. If only peeps had followed the rules. MOUSES!Delete
What is with those Peeps you have up there? Seville they all need a good bop on the nose!ReplyDelete
Bop on the nose... Poops in the shoe... Whatever. MOUSES!Delete
Obviously, Seville, you have it rough!ReplyDelete
Best to just nap the days away...oh yeah, you're a cat, and you do that ANYWAY!
I do enjoy my naps. MOUSES!Delete