one hundred and five

Hmmm...

HMMM...

Hmmm....

Okay, so it's been 'bout five hundred and seventy-one million, five hundred and thirty-six thousand cat seconds since this ol' pandemic thingy began, give or take a nanosecond or two.  But startin' tomorrow, almost all peep restrictions will be gone in Nova Scotia.  Yup, startin' tomorrow; no masks, no social distancin', no nothin' ('cept in schools, hospitals, jails, congregate livin' situations, and stuff).

MOUSES!

HMMM...

Not sure how peeps are gonna react to all this newfound freedom, they'll have.  I mean, some are thrilled but others aren't happy at all, so...

So my bet is...

My bet is, THERE'RE GONNA BE CAT FIGHTS GOIN' ON ALL OVER THE PLACE!

'Cept they'll be with peeps, not cats, of course.

When a good squirt from a spray bottle doesn't work nearly as well.

MOUSES!

But all kiddin' aside...

We hope.

All kiddin' aside, I do hope peeps out there will behave themselves.  Like I said, you can't spray a peep with a spray bottle or water pistol and expect them to behave.

Well you can, I guess, but it's not likely to happen.  Their behavin', that is.

MOUSES!

Thing is, those darned spray bottles aren't nearly big enough to have any kinda measurable effect!

Believe me, I've tried.

MOUSES!

So the peeps - MY peeps - are still gonna be maskin' and stuff.  They're still gonna be wearin' their masks when out in indoor public spaces, just like Nova Scotia's top doc recommends, 'cause masks help slow the spread which helps in bringin' this ol' pandemic TRULY to an end.  Like, really and truly, and not just 'cause we're tired of it all.

Plus, Peepers says she has saved billions and billions AND BILLIONS of dollars on lipstick these past two years.  'Cause you know, wearin' lipstick under a mask is as silly as heck.

What's that?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Oh.

Okay.

Hmmph.

Correction: Peepers says she saved 'bout thirty bucks.

On the lipstick, that is.

MOUSES!

But anyway...

But anyway, MY peeps are still gonna be maskin' and social distancin' so if you happen to be out and about and see Peepers in her mask, don't get too close.  She's social distancin', you see, and...

And she's been practicin' her Miss Piggy karate chops to keep others at bay.

HAI  -  YA!

She's actually kinda good.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

don't make me...

Don't make me...

DON'T make me...

I SAID, DON'T MAKE ME COME PEE ON YOU.

Or poop.

MOUSES!

Yeah, you heard me.  YOU heard me.  YOU heard me, you stupid peep.  YOU HEARD ME, for sure!

What... You need me to ILLUSTRATE what I'm gonna do?

Oh-kay...

Now stand still there, Peepers.  I said, STAND STILL!  Yeah, stand right there while I lift my tail, and...

Oopsie!  Heeheeheeheehee...  Sorry 'bout that, Peepers.  You're not the peep I need to pee on, at all.

Easy mistake to make.

MOUSES!

Okay, so here's the deal: like I wrote 'bout on Sunday, WE'RE IN THE MIDST OF A PANDEMIC, HERE!  And peeps had better start smartenin' up, for sure.

MOUSES!

You know, peeps like to think they're the superior species.  Well yeah, if superior actually means doin' our best to pro-L-O-N-G this pandemic - and the resultin' pandemic response - for as long as we possibly can, they might have a point.  Thing is though, I don't think that's what superior means, at all.

Makes you wonder, huh?  Yup, makes you wonder if maybe CATS are the superior species after all.

Wonder?  Ha!  More like KNOW, I believe.

MOUSES!

I'm disgusted, I tell you.  I'm disgusted!  They were partyin' in Wolfville.  Thirty of 'em, I believe.  THIRTY!  Now even I know thirty exceeds the gatherin' limit of five or ten.  And...  And, and...  And...   And for addin' and countin' and stuff, I, Seville the Cat, have only eighteen toes!

Obviously no one in that group of partyin' peeps is known for excellin' at math.

MOUSES!

And that was this week.  Last week, there were twenty-two of the non-mathematically inclined at a party in Halifax.

MOUSES!

I'm tellin' ya, I'M GONNA HAVE A WHOLE LOTTA PEEPIN' AND POOPIN' TO DO!

Of course, we're supposed to be stayin' close to home, these days.  No non-essential travel and all that.  Teleportation devise has had to be shut down.  Peepers even took away my eggbeaters and whisks!  So sadly, I can't go pee or poop on those university students in Wolfville and Halifax...

Right now.

*grins a horribly evil grin*

BUT I CAN SAVE IT ALL UP!

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Just you wait, Henry Hi...  I mean, just you wait, partyin' peeps.  Just you wait!  I'm gonna save up every stinky poop I make from now 'til the travel restrictions are lifted, and then...

And then...

AND THEN I'M COMIN' FOR YOU.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.