It's not fair, I tell you. IT'S NOT FAIR!
Did you hear me there, Peepers? DID YOU HEAR ME? Were your ancient, old-as-the-hills-and-various-extinct-species-of-dinosaur ears capable of hearin' what I said?
IT'S NOT FAIR!
It's a BEAUTIFUL day out there...
Okay, so it's a little dreary and the ground is still wet from last night's rain and the weatherpeeps are sayin' we might have boomies this afternoon, but...
BUT RIGHT NOW, THE SUN IS SHININ' ON AND OFF AND THE TEMPERATURE IS SUPER DUPER MILD AND...
And that, my friends, is a beautiful day.
'Specially for October in Canada.
But you know what?
Well I'll tell you what's what. I'll tell you what's what right now.
I, SEVILLE THE CAT, CAN'T GO OUTSIDE.
Good question. In fact, I asked ol' Peepers that very same question, myself, a few minutes ago but her OLD-AS-THE-HILLS EARS had selective hearin' and I got NOTHIN' but grief for my troubles.
Get this -
There are rockies in the backyard.
Rockies. In MY yard. Interruptin' my beautiful day.
But... But... But... But what's a couple rocky raccoons? We have a big backyard. I know how to share!
What's more, I KNOW to stay away from 'em. Just 'cause peeps don't know how to keep their distance from others doesn't mean we cats don't.
They're just lookin' for snacks, Peepers. They're bulkin' up for winter and tryin' to eat as much as they can.
You know, like you, when...
WHAT? What did I say? Don't blame ME for tellin' the truth. I saw that bag of potato chips.
And FYI, Peepers, Family Size means for a FAMILY. A family of more than one.
And it's not like raccoons and cats are natural born enemies, anyway. We have an agreement, you see. We each keep to our own, and don't bother one another one bit.
WE KNOW HOW TO SOCIAL DISTANCE.
Peeps could take a lesson from that.
MAYBE those rockies are wantin' some of your chips.
EVER THINK ABOUT THAT?
There, that's settled then. Peepers, you go give that rocky family your FAMILY SIZED bag of chips, and while they're busy munchin' on those I can go outside and enjoy my beautiful day.
Remember to mask up, too.