Sunday, 18 October 2020

thirty-one weeks


Mouses, Peepers, you'd think that by now...


You'd THINK that by NOW you would have figured this stuff out.


You'd really think that after spendin' the last one hundred and sixty-eight million, seven hundred and thirty-nine thousand, two hundred cat seconds in a pandemic, you'd know that IF YOU DON'T WANNA MAKE EXTRA TRIPS TO THE STORE...


YOU'VE GOTTA REMEMBER TO GET THE IMPORTANT STUFF WHEN YOU GO OUT!


MOUSES!


Don't give me that crap talk, Peepers.  What I wanna know is...


WHERE IS MY CREAM?


MOUSES!


Yeah, yeah...  I've heard it all before.  I heard all 'bout how you forgot to get me some cream when you went shoppin', but...


BUT HOW COULD YOU?  HOW COULD YOU FORGET ABOUT MY CREAM?


Farts, shmarts, woman.   I WANT MY CREAM.


MOUSES!


Lookie here, Peepers, you may think you're savin' me from lactose intolerance tummy issues, but truth be told, you're actually savin' YOURSELF from...


Well...


Farts.


I DON'T CARE IF IT GIVES ME AN UPSET TUMMY!


Well, actually, I do.  Or I WOULD, if that were true, but my tummy and I have had a little chat and we've decided this whole no-cream-for-the-cat business is totally overblown.  TOTALLY.


MOUSES!


YOU'RE NOT IN TOUCH WITH MY TUMMY, PEEPERS, and don't you deny it.  I, on the other paw, have a close relationship with my tummy, and me and my tummy know best.  WE - my tummy and I - know that cats are in favour of cream.


Personally, I think this whole cream and lactose intolerance thing is a ruse.  PERSONALLY, I think it's just peeps' way of hoggin' all the cream.


Don't think I didn't notice you and Peep #2 eatin' pumpkin pie, last weekend, topped with a whole whack of the creamy deliciousness that is whipped cream.


'Cause I did, you know.  I DID notice all that whipped cream you put on top of your pie.  And I've come to the conclusion that all you cream-hogging peeps ATE ALL OF THE CREAM and created a province-wide cream shortage, that is...


Well...


Province wide.


So even though you may SAY you forgot to get me some cream when grocery shoppin', I think...


I THINK...


I THINK IT'S MORE LIKELY THAT THERE'S NO CREAM TO GET, 'CAUSE YOU PEEPS ATE IT ALL YOURSELVES.


Of all the selfish, cream-hoggin' things to do.


MOUSES!


 ***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.




7 comments:

  1. I do think I'll skip the mask Seville but I'll have some whipped cream please!

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  2. That is not nice of the peeps to eat all the cream and give you none.

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  3. Well, if it's true that the peeps hogged all your cream, Sivvers. Well ... well ... MOUSES!

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  4. Wait, what? Your human had cream, whipped, and you didn't get any? That's not right! A little taste does't hurt.

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  5. No cream! Oh, Seville - what a hard life you have!

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  6. They could have put a dab on your nose, at the least, Seville!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Masks matter. We have people stopping here and it will come back to bite them.

    Enjoy your cream (you need it dude!)

    ReplyDelete

I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.