Has anyone seen my nip heart?
Humph, no answer.
Has anyone seen my nip heart?
STILL no answer.
HAS ANYONE SEEN MY NIP HEART?
Hey Peepers, have you seen my nip heart? I'm lookin' for the red one. With Valentine's Day comin' up, I wanna make sure I have my red, white, and pink nip hearts all in a row, so to speak, and ready for me to do some major nippin'. So do you happen to know where it is?
Well if I knew where I left it, I wouldn't be LOOKIN' for it, now would I.
Of all the stupid, moused-up questions.
Peepers, can you check your jacket pockets to see if it's in one of them? I tried checkin' myself, but I can't reach your black winter jacket in the front hall closet. It's up too high.
And uh... Never mind 'bout those two winter coats lyin' on the closet floor, okay? Just ignore 'em. Pretend they're not even there.
Pretend they're not lyin' on the floor, I mean.
'Cause I was tryin' to check inside your jacket pockets, that's why.
Do I have to explain EVERYTHIN' to you?
It's like this, Peepers: When I realized your jacket was up too high for me to reach, I tried climbin' up one of the longer coats hangin' next to it. 'Cause the coats are just a paw's reach from the floor. I can grab hold of them. So anyway, there I was, halfway up the taupe coloured one, when all of a sudden, OUT OF ABSOLUTELY NOWHERE, the stupid ol' coat decided to slip right off its hanger and fall to the floor.
Well I'm gettin' to that.
So after I brought down the first coat... I MEAN, after the first coat slid off its hanger and fell to the floor, ALL OF ITS OWN ACCORD, I figured it must have been because it had been hangin' on some kinda messed up, faulty hanger, or some such thing. So of course, I did what any cat would do. I climbed up another coat. Turns out, the front hall closet is RIDDLED with messed-up, faulty hangers. You should probably do somethin' about that.
But anyway, 'nough 'bout this faulty hanger business. That's not important. It's not nearly as important as my findin' my red nip heart, so could you go check your jacket pockets please? I'm pretty sure that's where my red nip heart is.
It must be there Peepers, BECAUSE I HAVE LOOKED EVERYWHERE ELSE.
Yes I have.
Yes I have.
YES, I HAVE.
As a matter of fact, I did. I did look in the coffee table drawer.
And before you ask, that coffee table drawer has a couple faulty hinges, for sure. MOUSES!
PEEPERS, COULD YOU PLEASE GO LOOK IN YOUR JACKET POCKETS NOW? I'm desperate over here.
I told you Peepers, I've looked everywhere. I looked under the chesterfield, and under the chairs, and... Well you already know 'bout the coffee table drawer. Plus, I looked under the kitchen table, and the china cabinet in the dinin' room, and the beds upstairs, and..
That reminds me... Wait a minute. Be right back.
I'm back. For a moment there, I thought my red nip heart might be in the linen closet upstairs, 'cause I was in there yesterday afternoon, knockin' towels off the shel... I MEAN, I was in there yesterday gettin' comfy on the top shelf when some towels accidentally, ALL OF THEIR OWN ACCORD, slid off the shelves and onto the floor. I think the shelvin' must be sloped or somethin'. I'm thinkin' it's faulty shelvin', for sure. MOUSES!.
Anyway, it turns out my nip heart wasn't up on that top shelf after all.
Truth be told, there's nothin' at all up on that top shelf now. MOUSES!
'CAUSE I HAD TO LOOK IN ALL THE CORNERS, AND UNDERNEATH EVERYTHIN', FOR MY RED NIP HEART, THAT'S WHY.
Does the peep not understand anythin' at all?
Just go look in your jacket pockets for my nip heart, okay Peepers?
It's not there? Really? And you checked both pockets? ARE YOU SURE?
For mousin' out loud. I was positive it would be in one of 'em. I've looked everywhere else. Like quite literally, EVERYWHERE. I even looked...
Oh hi Mason. YOU wouldn't happen to know where my red nip heart would be, would you?
You don't say.
Never mind 'bout the red nip heart, Peepers. Mason says it's lyin' on the floor in the hallway. Guess I left it there after playin' with it this mornin'.