So Jon Stewart is leavin' the Daily Show, huh? Interestin'...
What is even more interestin' is who will be his replacement and what is the most interestin' of all is why no one from the show has contacted me. I mean, who better to replace Jon Stewart than I, Nerissa the Cat? Who wouldn't wanna see me on nightly TV? MOUSES!
Now that bein' said, Jon Stewart is gonna be super hard to replace. The man is in a league of his own, for sure. No one - and when I say no one, I mean NO ONE, except possibly that Rick Mercer dude - has ever done the kind of stuff that Jon Stewart has done or at least if they have, I wasn't award of them doin' so which makes me kinda think that, like I said before, the man is in a league of his own. Again I must say, MOUSES!
Of course, the man is not the King of the Run-on-Sentence but only one of us can be King and... Well.. That would be me. I mean, I. Hmmm.. Yup, I is exactly what I mean although it really does sound kinda weird, I'll give you that, for sure.
So if the powers-that-be are lookin' to find some peep to fill Jon Stewart's shoes, they're gonna have a tough time with that. Even I would have an awfully tough time fillin' his shoes but you see, since I don't wear shoes, on account of my bein' a cat and all, I wouldn't even try. I might try to walk in his pawprints or somethin' like that but I would never actually try to fill his shoes.
My sister, Mason, might wanna try that though. Fill his shoes, I mean. Mason is into shoes. She's always tryin' to play with the peeps' shoes. Give her a pair of shoes and she'll stick her paws in 'em, stick her head 'em, chew on 'em, attack 'em and even possibly try to fling 'em across the room whereas I, Nerissa the Cat, am just not into that.
And speakin' of shoes... My brother Seville has discovered Valerian root. You ever try the stuff? I don't like it myself. Smells like stinky feet or at least, that's what they say. Peep #1 grew some Valerian and I gave it a sniff but it did nothin' for me. Seville, on the other paw, was right into it. He found a root growin' out of the bottom of a pot and was on that root like nip on cheese or better yet, me on a nip mouse. You give me a nip mouse and I'm gonna be on that, for sure.
Now of course, I have no idea whether or not Jon Stewart's shoes smell like Valerian root and therefore, like stinky feet but IF they do, Seville would wanna try to fill 'em, for sure. He'd be stickin' his head in those shoes and dreamin' of Valerian root. You see, that's what cats like Seville do. MOUSES!
Once I came inside the house with stinky paws but it was a totally different kind of stink. It happened last year, before Peep #1 went and ruined our outdoor loo by plantin' all those primroses in it. Anywho... There I was, diggin' in the loo when I accidentally dug in the wrong spot, diggin' up someone else's... poo.
Diggin' in that exact spot was not a good idea, I can assure you. Not that it actually was an idea. Wasn't done intentionally or anythin'. I dug in the wrong spot totally by accident but let me tell you, I'll never do that again. And the worst part was the embarrassment of the whole situation. I had to ask Peep #1 to clean off my paws for me 'cause quite frankly, I wasn't touchin' that stuff, myself. MOUSES!
But back to the topic at paw. I can think of no valid reason why I, Nerissa the Cat, should not be offered the job of replacin' Jon Stewart on the Daily Show. Can you?
Don't answer that.
But if your answer is no, you can go ahead and answer it all you like.
Normally I don't like the word no but I've found that if one words the question carefully enough, an answer of no can be kind of like the cat's meow.
And in other news, Valentine's Day is this weekend. Yup, only a few days away so if you haven't made preparations, now is the time to prepare those preparations, for sure.
I've decided to break with tradition this year and give the peeps nothin' but love for Valentine's Day. In previous years, I've given Peep #1 stuff like a rose bush or a bottle of stink but those prezzies always came back to haunt me. For instance, the potted rose I gave her a couple of years ago ended up occupyin' a sunpuddle in the sunroom. It was a really good sunpuddle, too. Can't tell you how much I missed lying in that sunpuddle on account of that stupid ol' rose bush sittin' there. Sittin' there in the middle of my favourite sunpuddle and tauntin' me. MOUSES! I am never makin' that mistake again.
And as for givin' the peep a bottle of stink... Do you know what happens when your peep puts on that stinky stuff just prior to pickin' you up and givin' you a cuddle? I can tell you exactly what happens. You end up stinkin' of stink, too.
Now if someone were to invent nip perfume...
Hmmm.... I think I shall put inventin' nip perfume on my to-do list. There's nothin' stinky 'bout nip stink and that's a fact, for sure.
The weatherpeeps are threatening that there will be more white stuff arrivin' this Friday but if they're right, I'm gonna pack up all that snow and mark it with, "return to sender." I've had it with the white stuff. I'd say, "I've had it up to here," but quite frankly, I can't reach the 'here.' I'd have to get the big ladder out of the garage to reach the 'here' in 'had it up to here' but I can't do that on account of the pile of white stuff, blockin' me from gettin' into the garage. MOUSES!
So there you have it, my friends. That's the news of the hour. The news of the day. The news of the week, for sure. If I happen to hear from the Daily Show in the next day or two, I'll let you know. If not, I'll see on you Sunday. Enjoy the rest of your week. purrs
Hmm...maybe if Mason can do her potty trick with the potted rose then that sunpuddle could be yours again? My peep has lots of Wellington boots that he says always get the snow in, I could always send you some of those for storing the white stuff out the way in, till you need it again? purrsReplyDelete
I have to admit you were my first pick. When I heard he was leaving, I immediately thought that you would be a good replacement :)ReplyDelete
If not you thn maybe Brian Williams can do it. Yikes on more snow. You need to find out who ticked off old man winter!ReplyDelete
IDK, JS has some pretty big shoes.. do you even wear shoes? I'm willing to give it a shot though..ReplyDelete
Nerissa, you would look really great behind that big desk!ReplyDelete
What? it's NOT you?????ReplyDelete
The Florida Furkids
When mes saw that Jon was leaving today, me was SURE yous would be his replacement! And Nerissa, has yous guys been shoveling your roof off? When wes gotted that much snow here, they made us all shovel our roofs! And the snow piles in the yard was not gone until almost the end of May!ReplyDelete
Oh I SO agree with Vanessa ^^^^ BOL!ReplyDelete
ღ husky hugz ღ frum our pack at Love is being owned by a husky!
We suggest that if you get offered that job you negotiate your contract carefully so that you get paid in the best quality nip and lots and lots of it. XOCK, Lily Olivia, Mauricio, Misty May, Giulietta, Fiona, Astrid, Lisbeth and Calista JoReplyDelete
My human is so bummed to be losing John Stewart and Stephen Colbert so closely together. I do think you would be an awesome replacement, Nerissa!ReplyDelete
Just make sure dat Comedy Central pays ya in high quality nip.ReplyDelete
You need an agent!ReplyDelete
I think u would be good on the tee bee! :)ReplyDelete
You should be the pick indeed at your feed. Ugg to snow is more is sure to flowReplyDelete
dood...we doez knot watch tee and vee most lee coz itz knot hooked up but if ewe getz yur own show we will make sure ta watch ewe...yur primroses shuld bee makin an a peer ants prette soon huh....just think...if all de primrose wuz nip plantz.....ReplyDelete
happee hearts day oh love two ewe N de crew ♥♥♥ !!
I would love to watch you on tv-you would be great. I agree we are fresh out of room for the snow here too.ReplyDelete
MORE snow? Gahhh!ReplyDelete
I think you would make a great host of The Daily Show!ReplyDelete
Noodle and crew
Nissy, we had to find out who that guy, Stewart, was, and we saw immediately that you would be a great replacement for that show. Not in his shoes, but with your own paws...even if they're stinky paws :D That was a whole lot of news, but now I know why I smell like Granny all the time...no wonder why I have to wash myself the whole day. Heartshaped Pawkisses for a Happy Valentine's Weekend :) <3ReplyDelete
you would be good at that job,xx SpeedyReplyDelete
Well Nissy you are our first choice for sure for the Daily Show.ReplyDelete
Hey Nissy, just catching up on all your pawesome adventures and happenings... been really hectic here, and yes, do send the white stuff back to source - immediately! MOLReplyDelete
Purrs Basil [back from space] xox
Forget taking over for someone leaving, you need your own show! We'd sign up and 'force' our humans to pay one hunerd elevnty two dollas every day to watch you!ReplyDelete