Sunday, 8 February 2015
case of the missing shovel
There had been talk about the house for a few weeks. Talk about a shovel that had mysteriously gone missin'. You see, in other years, the peeps always had two shovels. Two peeps, two shovels. One shovel per peep. Made sense to me.
Although the two-peep-two-shovel model appeared to be perfectly logical, Peep #1 claimed that really, it was a two-door-two-shovel model. She said that she liked to leave one shovel at the front door and one at the back so that dependin' upon which way the wind blew the snow, and therefore which door was best for startin' the shovellin', there would always be a shovel handy.
But Peep #1's story had a major flaw so I wasn't buyin' it for a minute. We have three doors, you see. Front, back and side. And that's not even includin' the little kitchen window that we cats like to use as a door. So for her story to be correct, one would think there would be three shovels. The ever illusive three-door-three-shovel model. And usin' this model, you might wanna throw in a little cat-sized, shovel, too! Clearly, the peep forgot that I'm a super logical cat with an inquisitive mind and above-average reasoning skills and can easily see through her fairy tale stories like I'm lookin' through a looking glass. And I'm not talkin' about a grungy ol' lookin' glass that's hard to see through. No sirree. I'm talking 'bout a nice, sparklin' clean lookin' glass through which it's easy to see everythin'. Everythin' including her silly, make-believe stories.
Anywho... Bottom line is, we used to have two shovels.
That's right, used to have two.
Talk on the street... Scratch that. Talk in the house was that one of the shovels had gone missin'. Went missin' even before snow shovellin' season had begun. Peep #1 put one shovel at the back door but when she went to put the other one at the front, the other one wasn't there. It was nowhere to be found. It was... MISSING. Duh duh duh duhhhh... MOUSES!
This mysteriously missin' shovel should have been in the garage. It should have been standin' there, right next to the first one. It should have been standin' at attention, preparin' for duty but it was slackin', for sure.
And when I say slackin', slackin' is what it might have been doin'. Our garage is not the neatest garage on the block, you see. Not even close. Might win an award for messiest garage on the block, though. Might win an award for messiest garage on the planet. Yup, it's that messy, for sure.
The garage floor is covered in plant pots 'cause Peep #1 uses the garage to overwinter some of her plants. Talk about tiptoeing through the tulips! I can't make it from one end of the garage to the other without tiptoeing through the plant pots. Funny thing is, I don't think any of 'em contain tulips. More likely to find roses and small potted trees and whatnot. She should seriously plant some tulips in there so that I can say I'm tiptoein' through the tulips and actually be tiptoein' through the tulips. A considerate peep would do that for me. MOUSES!
But back to the slackin'. It was entirely possible that the second shovel was in that ol' garage, slacking. It could easily have fallen down somewhere and been lyin' there, hidden amongst all those plant pots. Had that happened, no one would ever know. It would be completely hidden from view.
So Peep #1 was thinkin' that the shovel wasn't really missin' but just slackin' although even she had to admit that she couldn't remember the last time she had seen it. She vaguely remembered seein' it outside, leanin' up against the garage at one point but try as she might, she couldn't remember exactly when.
Personally, I was bettin' the second peep had hidden it away somewhere, hopin' that if there was only one shovel on the go, there could only be one peep doin' any shovellin' at any given time and since it's almost always Peep #1 who goes out there to shovel first, Peep #2 would be able to avoid any and all shovellin' duties this winter. And even though I had no real evidence supportin' my theory that Peep #2 had hidden that ol' shovel, there wasn't any evidence sayin' otherwise so that was my workin' theory, for sure.
So on Thursday mornin', Peep #1 went outside to shovel a bit more path before the fourth snowstorm in just over a week arrived that afternoon. She was a-shovellin' and a-shovellin' and a-shovellin' and then... SNAP. She was a-shovellin' no more.
Nope, the peep didn't snap. Shovel did, though. Snapped clean in two. Where the handle had once met the scoop, it met the scoop no more. MOUSES!
That was when Peep #1 decided to find that ol' slackin' shovel. Positive that it was somewhere in the garage, she trudged through the snow and flung open the door. Peerin' around inside, she thought that if she could just catch a glimpse of the handle or somethin', she could possibly make her way through the plant pots and get her paws on that shovel.
But there was not a trace of the shovel to be found.
Needless to say, Peep #1 had to head on out to the store before the next storm arrived and go get herself a new shovel. When she was there, she bought two and yes, we are now back to the two-peep-two-shovel model, for sure.
Regarding the missin' shovel, Peep #1 has decided that one of two things must have happened. Either someone came into our yard over the summer and stole the second shovel or perhaps, and more much more likely, that ol' Hurricane Arthur is to blame. Had the shovel been outside when Arthur arrived, he very well could have huffed and puffed and blown it right down. Blown it around! Perhaps the second shovel blew away.
Even I must admit that it is possible Arthur is at fault. I remember once when the peep left her leaf clappers outside on a windy day, that ol' wind picked up one of those plastic clappers and blew it right away. Last time I saw it, it was headin' down the driveway, hung a left at the end and blew right down my street, never to be seen again.
After the leaf clapper incident, I tried sellin' the remainin' half pair of leaf-clappers over the Internet but there were no takers. Peep #1 says that half a pair of clappers is as useless as no clappers at all but I disagree. Somewhere out there, someone probably found the clapper that blew down the street and that person is in need of only one clapper, for sure. Had only he or she seen my ad.... MOUSES!
Hmmm... I wonder if anyone would be interested in buyin' the scoop from the peep's ol' broken shovel. I'd be willin' to throw in the handle for free.
ONE SNOW SHOVEL SCOOP FOR SALE. Comes with a complementary broken handle. Goin' cheap. Get it while you can. MOUSES!