happened again

Yup, that's right: it happened again.

AGAIN.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' Peepers, once again, did somethin' really super duper stupid.

Well...

Well, she probably did, on account of her doin' really stupid stuff ALL THE TIME, but I've sorta given up on keepin' track of all the stupid stuff she is prone to do.  It's just too hard.  There's just too much!

Stupid stuff she does, that is.

MOUSES!

So for today's blog post, I'm not talkin' about any of that.

So what AM I talkin' about, you ask?

Good question!

MOUSES!

What I am talkin' about today is what happened just the OTHER day.  The other day when Saffron was supposed to go to the vet.

You'll notice I said, SUPPOSED.  Supposed to go to the vet.

Yeah, it never happened.

MOUSES!

'Cause about half an hour, maybe more, prior to when Peepers and Saffy Saffron Sassisfras would have to leave the house in order to get to Dr T's office in time, Peepers started lookin' around the house for Saffy.  That took all 'bout a minute.  Saffy was right there in the family room, havin' a little nap.

So EASY PEASY, it should have been.  Easy peasy, for sure.  Cat  was just lyin' there, waitin' to be grabbed and stuffed....

I mean, waitin' to be picked up and gently placed inside the carrier.

Yeah.

Right.

MOUSES!

So the grabbin' part happened, all right.  But the stuffin'...

I mean, gently-placing-inside-the-carrier part, not so much.

MOUSES!

Peepers was well-prepared, though.  Yup, she had the crate up on its end with the door hangin' wide open.  The plan was to feed Saffy into said crate, tail first, and then slam that door shut.

Well!

Well you know what they say about best-laid plans...

THEY OFTEN GO AWRY.

MOUSES!

So there Peepers was, feedin' Saffy into the carrier, butt-end first, when all of a sudden she noticed that Saffron had his tail stuck straight out, preventin' the tail from gettin' tucked in.

And THAT'S when Peepers realised she was gonna have to readjust how she was holdin' him.  But how the mouses could she do that with only two paws?

I mean, hands.

But still, HOW?  She really needed a third arm to stick that tail of his in.

But as Peepers wasn't plannin' on growin' an extra appendage any time soon, she put Saffy on the floor to rearrange her holdin' position, and that was about when...

That was about when...

Well, that was about when Saffy used his super human cat strength to kick himself off the floor, way up into the air, in an attempt to get himself outta there.

But of course, Peepers was still holdin' on.

So that didn't quite work out.

Yet.

Next thing Peepers knew, Saffy was usin' that same super human cat strength to kinda kick back at the peep, usin' her body to launch himself away and out of her arms, before skedaddlin' himself outta the room.

Peepers had to let go.

Probably on account of Saffy's super strong legs bein' attached to paws with super sharp claws.

And yes, Peepers got scratched.

Again.

It's not like it hasn't happened before.

MOUSES!

As you can imagine, I was on the floor laughin' my tail off, watchin' Peepers' and Saffron's little comedy show.  Saffy trottin' past in one direction, with Peepers followin' behind.  Then Saffy trottin' past in another direction, again with Peepers followin' behind.  And then Saffy trottin'...

Well, you get the picture, I am sure.

Went on for at least half an hour!

Until Peepers put a stop to it, got on the phone, and called Dr. T.

So long story short, Saffron hasn't had his visit with the vet.

Yet.

MOUSES!

snip-snip

Tomorrow's the big day.  Yup, tomorrow is Saffron's BIG day, for sure.  Tomorrow is the day that my brother Saffy Saffron Saffers Sassafras - yeah, I call him that sometimes - goes in for his uh...

Umm...

Well, you know...

His SNIP-SNIP.

*wink wink*

MOUSES!

And let me tell you somethin', my friends, tomorrow can't come soon enough.

MOUSES!!!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin', didn't I, Seville the Cat, blog 'bout Saffy's big day before?

You know somethin', my friends?   You're right!  I did.  I, Seville the Cat, DID blog 'bout Saffy's big day before, but...

But before when I blogged 'bout his big day, his big day was off in the far and distant future.  NOW his big day is tomorrow.

MOUSES!

Peepers and I have our paws crossed we won't get too much snow tomorrow like the weatherpeeps are sayin' we might.  We're purrin' and prayin' we don't get so much snow that Saffy's appointment will have to be rescheduled.  We're purrin' and...

What's that you're asking 'bout now?

Oh, that.  Yeah, THAT.  Yup, Ol' Mother Nature is havin' mood swings again so EVEN THOUGH IT'S APRIL ALREADY, we're expectin' a snowstorm tomorrow.  Ten centimetres, they say.  Maybe more!  I'm tellin' ya, it's as disgustin' as disgustin' can get.  DISGUSTIN'!

Although to tell you the truth...

To tell you the truth, these mood swings of Mother Nature's are not unlike the cryin' and howlin' Saffry Saffron Saffers Sassafras has been doin' at four in the mornin' before the sun has even THOUGHT about gettin' up.  Before ANYONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND has thought about gettin' up, to be sure.

Thus, the need for the snip-snip to happen tomorrow.

And after the snip-snip, I'm hopin' I'll get a chance to sleep in.  'Cause a cat like me NEEDS his beauty sleep, you see.

Well, truth be told, I'D be beautiful - HANDSOME, I mean - whether I got my beauty sleep or not.  I mean, just look at this face.  How could this face NOT be as beautiful and handsome as can be?

However, it's a totally different situation with the peep.  Let's just say, Peepers needs her sleep.  Yup, Peepers needs her beauty sleep, for sure.  I'm tellin' ya, if Peepers doesn't start gettin' a good night's sleep on a regular basis, other peeps in the neighbourhood are gonna start leavin' crates of night creams and serums and gels and all sorts of stuff along with gift cards and certificates for local plastic surgeons on our doorstep just so they don't have to look at her harried, harassed, and haggard ol' face, and...

What's that?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

What am I tellin' my readers, you ask?

Uh...

Umm...

Nothin'.  Nothin' at all.  Just casually mentionin' that tomorrow is the Day of the Snip.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

sixty-nine weeks

I remember, way back when...

Way back when, I remember when visitin' the vet got a kitty a few extra treats, some chin scritches, and a cuddle.  That was about it.

MOUSES!

That's right, a kitty gets his shots and said kitty gets - like I said - a few extra treats, some chin scritches, and a cuddle.

EVEN IF SAID KITTY DIDN'T ACTUALLY WANT TO BE CUDDLED!

Oh sure, treats?  They're good.  Yup, treats are always good.  Chin scritches are, too.  But cuddles?

MOUSES!

Peeps, on the other paw...

I'm tellin' ya, Peepers went to the vet on Friday for her shots, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

Yeah, yeah, so you didn't actually go to the VET.

Let me tell you somethin', Peepers, you'd be so lucky as to get to go to my vet.  I mean, Dr Teresa is great.  Dr T is the best!  Why, I remember once when she crawled right in my cage with me, just to make me feel better.  Has YOUR doctor ever done anythin' like that?

Didn't think so.

MOUSES!

So you didn't go to the vet, Peepers, but you did go for your shots.

Rabies, this time, was it?  I thought you were lookin' a little rabid last week.

Yeah, yeah...  I know.  I'm just joshin' you, ol' peep of mine.  I know you went for your COVID vaccine.

MOUSES!

But the thing is...

The thing I'm tryin' to explain...

The thing is, when a kitty gets his shots, said kitty gets a few extra treats, some ch...

I KNOW I already talked about that.  I'm sayin' it again 'cause it warrants bein' said twice.  Even thrice, I should think.

The bottom line is, a peep goes to the vet...  Oh yeah, my bad.  Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh...  A peep goes to the COMMUNITY VACCINATION CLINIC for her shots, and what does a peep get?

Well I'll tell you what a peep should get.  A peep should get NOTHIN', is what said peep should get.  I mean, peeps take us cats for our shots and then they expect cuddles!

Like givin' us unwanted cuddles is really gonna benefit us.

But peeps?

Why, peeps get their shots and then EXPECT the world at their feet.

"We're having nachos for supper because I like nachos and, after all, I did just get my second vaccine."

"Why yes, I'd love another drink.  After all, I did just get my second vaccine."

"But I LIKE binge watching The Closer on Friday nights and after all, I did just get my second vaccine."

Yup, she was milkin' it for all it was worth.

MOUSES!

Me, me, me...  That's all peeps think about, isn't it.  For the past sixty-nine weeks - ie. three hundred and seventy-five million, five hundred and eighty thousand, eight hundred cat seconds - ALL I'VE HEARD from ol' Peepers is ME, ME, ME.

I mean, her.

You know what I mean.

MOUSES!

Well let me tell you somethin', ol' peep of mine.  YOU'RE NOT GETTIN' ANY CUDDLES FROM ME.

If you like, I'll paw you over an extra treat.

I'm not overly partial to those liver ones, anyway.

They taste like liver, you see.

Bleh.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

the ear

Who did it?

Who?

WHO?

All I can say is, it sure wasn't me.

MOUSES!

I bet you're all wonderin' who did whatever they did.  Oh yeah, I bet you're all wonderin' that, for sure.

Perhaps I should start at the beginnin'.

So Thursday mornin', Peep #1 was servin' everybody breakkies, when...

Scratch that.  Thursday mornin', Peep #1 was ATTEMPTIN" to serve everyone breakkies, but Andy didn't come when he was called.

Now Andy not comin' for breakkies when called is highly unusual, as Andy doesn't normally need to be called when there's any kinda food involved.  No sirree.  You open a packet of...  Of ANYTHIN'!  And Andy's right there, front and centre.  Even if what you're openin' isn't actually food.  All it has to do is sound like food to get Andy's attention.

Seriously, Andy will come runnin' when Peep #1 opens a bag of frozen broccoli.

What?  What's that?  What's that you're sayin' now?

FROZEN BROCCOLI IS MOST CERTAINLY NOT FOOD.  Have you ever eaten that stuff?  It's totally inedible, for sure.

Broccoli bein' food...

Bwahahahahahahaha....

MOUSES!

So anyway, like I was sayin', Peep #1 was servin' breakkies, and there was no Anderson anywhere to be found.

So as you might imagine, the peep went lookin' for Andy.  'Bout five minutes later, Peep #1 found him in the front hall closet.  He wasn't sleepin' in there or anythin'.  He was just lyin' about.

MOUSES!

Well the peep brought Andy out of the closet, and what did she find?

She found that one of Andy's ears was all swollen.  It was like TWICE its normal size!

Actually, from what I've heard, it was kinda disgustin'.

Less than an hour later, Peep #1 and Andy were off to see the Wizard...

I mean, DOCTOR.  Yeah, they were off to see the doctor at our local hospital.

Turned out, Andy's ear was all infected, and filled with uh...

Like I said, it was kinda disgustin'.

MOUSES!

So while the doctor was examinin' Andy's ear, Andy reached up with a paw, and...

Now I bet you're thinkin' he clawed the doctor, aren't ya?  Yup, I bet you're thinkin' that, for sure.  And it would be a safe bet to make with any other cat. but you see, we're talking 'bout Andy here.

So while the doctor was examinin' Andy's ear, Andy reached up with a paw and managed to lance his own abscess.

LIKE I SAID BEFORE, IT WAS KINDA DISGUSTIN'.

MOUSES!

Well after the peep and the doctor cleaned themselves up, the doctor went back to work on Andy's ear.

Long story short, antibiotics and pain meds were on board, and Andy and the peep were headin' back home, readying themselves for a couple of FUN-FILLED WEEKS of twice-daily warm compresses and such.

But our little story is not yet over for you see, there's still a mystery left to be solved.  There is still an unsolved mystery, for sure.

Fact is, Andy didn't bite his own ear.

No sirree.  He's a strange lad, that brother of mine, but as strange as Andy might be, his mouth cannot reach his ears.

No...  No, someone else bit Andy on the ear.

And NO ONE is takin' the blame.

The peeps are both adamantly denyin' any involvement, whatsoever.  Mason and Rushton are claimin' they didn't bite their brother, either.  And as for me?

Seriously, do you think that I, Seville the Cat, would ever do a thing like that?

No, seriously.  I mean...  SERIOUSLY.  Goodness knows where Andy's ear has been.  I'm not puttin' that ear in my mouth and that, my friends, is for sure.

MOUSES!

So the mystery, it appears, remains unsolved.

Hmmm....

MOUSES!