fact

Chipmunks are said to be cheeky 'cause they have fat cheeks.

FACT.

MOUSES!

Mousies are called mousies 'cause uh...

Um...

Well...

Well it doesn't really matter why we call 'em mousies, does it?  I don't even call 'em mousies, myself.  I, Seville the Cat, am more inclined to call 'em mice.  But to each his own, I suppose.  To each his own, and uh...

Um...

Well...

WELL...

Well FACT.

Okay, so that's technically not a fact, but let's get back to those cheeky chipmunks with their cheeks stuffed to the brim with whatever they've got in them there cheeks.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you've babblin' on about now?

Oh, REALLY?  Well I think you'll find you're mistaken there, my peep.  I think you'll find you're mistaken, for sure, 'cause I have it on good authority that chipmunks ARE cheeky, and they're called cheeky on account of their fat cheeks.

On whose authority, you ask?

Well uh...

Um...

Well...

Well that would be mine.

FACT.

The thing is - and I do believe my pals out there will find this super-duper interestin' - chipmunks are indeed, cheeky.  They're cheeky on account of their searchin' about the yard lookin' for stuff to stuff in their cheeks.  That's how their cheeks get so fat, you see.

Why just the other day, I heard tell of a horde of cheeky chippies...

Stop interrupting me, Peepers!  STOP INTERRUPTIN'!  I'm not talking 'bout British fish 'n chip shops, woman.

Boy-oh-boy, sometimes I really do have to wonder 'bout my peep.

So anyway...

So anyway, as I was sayin' before bein' so rudely interrupted by the peep:  the other day I heard tell of a horde of cheeky chippies collectin' all the sunflower seeds a neighbour had planted, and stuffing 'em in their cheeks.

See?

CHEEKY.

FACT.

And the day before that, I happened to see a cheeky chippy myself.  Yup, I saw him right out there in my very own yard.  And he had the fattest chippy cheeks I ever did see; meanin' those cheeks were definitely stuffed to the brim with somethin' he most likely cheekily stole or misappropriated or just happened to find quite by accident, or...

But it doesn't really matter where he found the stuff to stuff in his cheeks, or what said stuff was, either.  What matters is that he stuffed so much stuff in those cheeks of his, he was...

Well...

CHEEKY.

And that there is one more fact.

MOUSES!

And...

What's that?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

What do you mean, what's MY excuse for bein' cheeky?  What do you MEAN?

Oh for mousin' sakes, woman.  I, Seville the Cat, am anythin' BUT cheeky.

I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU'VE HEARD.

Rumours, Peepers.  NOTHIN' BUT RUMOURS!

What, you still don't believe me?  Well get your tail on over here then, Peepers.  Get that tail of yours over here right now.  Look.  See?  "AHHHH"  See anythin' stuffed in my cheeks?  See anythin' at all?  No, of course you don't, 'cause I, Seville the Cat, am not cheeky.

I'm not a chippy, either.

I'm...

Well...

Well it doesn't really matter what I am, now, does it?  I...  I... I I I... I...  I'm a cat!

And that, too, is FACT.

MOUSES!

***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

for the love of mouses

Oh for the love of mouses.

No, seriously. SERIOUSLY.  It's not just an expression you know. My brother Rushton sure does love his mouses.

MOUSES!

As you may or may not have guessed, Rushy caught himself a mouse this mornin'.

The peep, bein' a peep, was not amused.

On the other paw, Andy was.

That's right, Andy was right in there, stickin' his nose where his nose didn't belong, tryin' to see what Rushy had caught.  And then, with great amusement, those two long-haired marmie freak brothers of mine, just sat there, lookin' at the wee mouse lyin' on the ground.

Of course, Peep #1 was right in there too, checkin' out what Rushy had caught; but as I said earlier, SHE was not amused.

MOUSES!

The other day, Tess caught a chippy.

Actually, she caught two.

Or maybe it was the same one, caught twice.  As chippies don't go around wearin' name tags, we'll really never know.  MOUSES!

Remember?  Remember way back when, when Nissy used to do that?

Catch chippies, I mean.  Nissy never wore a name tag and if he did, he didn't tell me, so I can't report about that.

Anyway...

So anyway, the other day, Tess came trottin' down the driveway with a chippy danglin' from her mouth. Well Peep #1 spotted her immediately, and was up and outside within minutes, encouraging Tess to let the chippy go.

And when I say encouragin', I REALLY mean that the peep beeped the car horn, which made Tess leap at least a foot into the air as she was walkin' right past the car at the time of the beepin' horn.  Once back on the ground, she spun 'round to face that ol' car, lifted a paw and shook it.  "YOU CRAZY DRIVER!" she yelled.  And that, my friends, was about when the chippy fell out of Tess' mouth, before scamperin' away.

Of course, the peep wasn't even in the car at the time, and the car wasn't even movin', so therefore, technically, there was no driver to yell at.   Realizin' this, Tess yelled again.  "CRAZY NON-EXISTENT DRIVER!" she cried, but by then, the chippy had managed his escape.

The peep, bein' a peep, tried to stifle a laugh but Tess spotted her smirkin', which caused her to stomp down the rest of the driveway, growlin' all the way.

Tess, I mean.  Not the peep.  MOUSES!

Then about half an hour later, it happened all over again.

And believe-you-me, the second time the peep beeped the car horn at Tess, Tess was wild with fury.  "YOU STUPID PEEP, BEEPING YOUR BEEPING HORN AT ME WHEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE BEEPIN' CAR!" she yelled.  "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE.  YOU'VE MADE ME LOSE MY CHIPPY!  AGAIN!"

Talk about road rage.

I never even knew one could even have road rage on a driveway.  You know, without bein' on a road.

This, my friends, is one of the reasons Tess can't get her driver's licence.

That and the fact she can't reach the gas pedal and see out the window at the same time, on account of her bein'...  You know...  A cat.  MOUSES!

Of course, Tess is known for bein' enraged.  Why once, just the other day in fact, she was caught growlin' at herself.

No, seriously.  SERIOUSLY.  She really, really was.  She was the only one in the room at the time, and she was growlin' like no other kitty growls, so I'm figurin', Tess was growlin' at none other than..  Well...  Tess.

Some peeps talk to themselves, so I suppose it's reasonable to assume a cat might growl to herself.

Especially if the cat in question happens to be Tess.

Tess does enjoy growlin'.

And she does it really well.

MOUSES!