No, seriously. SERIOUSLY. It's not just an expression you know. My brother Rushton sure does love his mouses.
MOUSES!
As you may or may not have guessed, Rushy caught himself a mouse this mornin'.
The peep, bein' a peep, was not amused.
On the other paw, Andy was.
That's right, Andy was right in there, stickin' his nose where his nose didn't belong, tryin' to see what Rushy had caught. And then, with great amusement, those two long-haired marmie freak brothers of mine, just sat there, lookin' at the wee mouse lyin' on the ground.
Of course, Peep #1 was right in there too, checkin' out what Rushy had caught; but as I said earlier, SHE was not amused.
MOUSES!
The other day, Tess caught a chippy.
Actually, she caught two.
Or maybe it was the same one, caught twice. As chippies don't go around wearin' name tags, we'll really never know. MOUSES!
Remember? Remember way back when, when Nissy used to do that?
Catch chippies, I mean. Nissy never wore a name tag and if he did, he didn't tell me, so I can't report about that.
Anyway...
And when I say encouragin', I REALLY mean that the peep beeped the car horn, which made Tess leap at least a foot into the air as she was walkin' right past the car at the time of the beepin' horn. Once back on the ground, she spun 'round to face that ol' car, lifted a paw and shook it. "YOU CRAZY DRIVER!" she yelled. And that, my friends, was about when the chippy fell out of Tess' mouth, before scamperin' away.
Of course, the peep wasn't even in the car at the time, and the car wasn't even movin', so therefore, technically, there was no driver to yell at. Realizin' this, Tess yelled again. "CRAZY NON-EXISTENT DRIVER!" she cried, but by then, the chippy had managed his escape.
The peep, bein' a peep, tried to stifle a laugh but Tess spotted her smirkin', which caused her to stomp down the rest of the driveway, growlin' all the way.
Tess, I mean. Not the peep. MOUSES!
Then about half an hour later, it happened all over again.
And believe-you-me, the second time the peep beeped the car horn at Tess, Tess was wild with fury. "YOU STUPID PEEP, BEEPING YOUR BEEPING HORN AT ME WHEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN IN THE BEEPIN' CAR!" she yelled. "LOOK AT WHAT YOU'VE DONE. YOU'VE MADE ME LOSE MY CHIPPY! AGAIN!"
Talk about road rage.
I never even knew one could even have road rage on a driveway. You know, without bein' on a road.
This, my friends, is one of the reasons Tess can't get her driver's licence.
That and the fact she can't reach the gas pedal and see out the window at the same time, on account of her bein'... You know... A cat. MOUSES!
Of course, Tess is known for bein' enraged. Why once, just the other day in fact, she was caught growlin' at herself.
Some peeps talk to themselves, so I suppose it's reasonable to assume a cat might growl to herself.
Especially if the cat in question happens to be Tess.
Tess does enjoy growlin'.
And she does it really well.
MOUSES!