about time

Well it's about time, Peepers.  It's about time.  You've been promising to make me...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

YES I KNOW you started makin' me my blankie ages ago.  But then you set it aside.  You stopped knittin'.  And then...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

YES I KNOW that for a while it was really too hot for for me to need a blankie, at all.  But there were nights that were cooler, too, you know.  I could have used a blankie on those nights, for sure.  PLUS, I can always sleep ON the blankie, even in warm weather, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

YES I KNOW the first stitch you experimented with turned out to be a pain in the tail to knit, but...

WHAT?

Peepers, are you sayin' your first attempt to knit me a blankie was an experiment?

Peepers, ARE YOU SAYIN' you were EXPERIMENTIN'?

Experimentin' on ME?

Of all the moused up, stupid things for a peep to do.

MOUSES!

Peepers, if you wanna be experimentin' with knittin', you should stick to experimentin' on things you happen to be knittin' for yourself.

Or Saffy.

He'll never know.

But not for me.

MOUSES!

YOU HAVE A HECK OF A LOT OF NERVE thinkin' you can possibly get away with experimentin' on knittin' somethin' that you're supposed to be knittin' for me.

MOUSES!

Thank goodness you scrapped that experiment and decided to use a stitch you're more familiar with.  One you know will turn out all cushiony soft.  Thank goodness you decided to use that ol' Bamboo stitch just like the blankie you made for yourself.  Thank goodness you...

Wait a minute.

Peepers, now that I'm lookin' at your knittin' progress a little more closely, I must ask: what's with all the different colours?  How come you're usin' four different colours of yarn to knit up the blankie for me?  

And she's not yet finished.  There might end up bein' more!

What was that, Peepers?  I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.  You didn't answer my question.  Why are you usin' so many different colours when knittin' MY blankie.  YOUR blankie had just the one.

Colour, I mean.

And why the mouses are those the colours you chose?  I mean, the paprika and dusty peach are okay, BUT THE ROSE?  Are you unaware I am a cat who is orange?  Orange with rose?

Really?

MOUSES!

WHAT?

YOU'RE SAYIN' YOU'RE MAKIN' MY BLANKIE USIN' UP OLD SCRAPS?  Scraps of yarn you no longer need?  Scraps of yarn not even worth keepin' in your stash?

You're usin' LEFTOVERS to make a blankie for me?

MOUSES!

Of all the nerve.

I've never been so insulted in all my nine lives.

MOUSES!

you better watch out

Well it's about time, Peepers.  Glad that's over, for sure.  It's high time you were makin' one for me.

MOUSES!

On the other paw...

On the other paw, you can keep any ideas of makin' cat-sized sweaters to yourself.

'Cause believe you me, I'M NOT WEARIN' NO STUPID KNITTED SWEATER.

Excuse the poor grammar, of course.

MOUSES!

No.  No, I do NOT want you to make me a sweater, Peepers.  No sweaters for me.  BUT I AM glad you've finished makin' that one, for sure.  You've been workin' on it for far too long, as it is.  I know you had to have it done before Christmas, but...

BUT IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN THE ONLY THING YOU WERE KNITTIN'!

'Cause you really should have been knittin' somethin' for me.

As long as it wasn't a sweater.

MOUSES!

So Peepers, now that you've finished that sweater, what ARE you gonna knit for me?

Oh, wait a minute.  I know what you'll be makin'.  Probably startin' it tonight.  I do believe there was a bankie promised at one point.

Bankie...  Blanket...  Whatever.

MOUSES!

After all, you DID make that blanket for the car.

And the car isn't nearly as cute as me.  Why, I, Seville the Cat, AM WAY MORE CUTE than a car.

Ask anyone around and they'll tell you it's true.

MOUSES!

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

YOU WHAT???

Of all the stupid, idiotic, THOUGHTLESS things for a peep to do.

MOUSES!

APPARENTLY, the peep has MORE Christmas knittin' to do.  More Christmas knittin' for peeps, and not for me.

And she says my bankie will have to wait 'til that knittin' is done.

I'm gonna remember this, Peepers.  I'M GONNA REMEMBER, FOR SURE!

Peepers, it would be best you start inspectin' your shoes before putting 'em on.

'Cause you know what they say...

They say, you better watch out, you better not cry.  You better not pout, I'm tellin' you why.  Sivvers put a somethin', in your shoe.

MOUSES!

Not yet sure which end of me I'll be usin'.  Horked up hairballs are yukky but poopies are worse.  Either way, Peepers, YOU BETTER WATCH OUT, to be sure.

And FYI, it'll be like this 'til there's a paw-knitted bankie comin' my way.

MOUSES!

under the bus

Or in this case, under the THROW.

MOUSES!

And he super duper deaded 'em, for sure.

MOUSES!

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' Saffy Saffron Sassafras has gone and done it again.  And you know somethin', my friends?

YOU WOULD BE RIGHT.

MOUSES!

Yup, yup.  Uh-huh, uh-huh.  Yeah, like I said, that is correct.

MOUSES!

So in my last blog post, I told you all 'bout how Saffy was playin' with Peepers' cheap earrings with his claws out and yes, Peepers does now have the scars to show it even if they are small scars, and probably won't leave any actual scars at all.  Not long-term, anyway.  The woman heals quickly.  Good thing, too, on account of Saffron havin' sharp claws.

What's that you're askin'?  You're wonderin' why Peepers doesn't clip Saffron's claws?

Well...

Well if the point of clippin' the claws is to prevent Saffron from using 'em for accidentally scratchin' Peepers, the actual act of clippin' those claws is likely to TOTALLY AND UNEQUIVOCALLY defeat the supposed purpose of clippin' those claws.

In other words, Peepers is gonna end up with way more scratches after the clippin' than she had before.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, as of the night before last, Saffron has a new form of entertainment to keep him occupied.  Saffron has discovered that monstrous monsters live under blankets and throws.  And these monstrous monsters MUST BE STOPPED at all costs.  Caught and nipped and have claws sunk into 'em and so on and whatnot and stuff.

Of course, the fact that those monstrous monsters happened to actually be Peepers' toes...

Well...

I believe that's what we in the know call collateral damage, my friends.  Yup, collateral damage, for sure.

Either that, or unintended victims.

Or maybe those are one and the same. 

OR MAYBE Peepers just has monstrous monsters for toes.

MOUSES!  

**********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.