we'll gather at dawn

You're gonna have to do somethin' about that, Peepers.

I SAID, you're gonna have to do somethin' about that!

PEEPERS!  Like I said, you're gonna have to do SOMETHIN' about that.

That.

THAT!

Okay, THOSE.  You're gonna have to do somethin' about those.

MOUSES!

Peepers, are you even listenin' to me?

Gosh darn it, all this time I've been talkin' to her, she was firmly sound asleep.

Should have known by the snorin'.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, she might not have been asleep.

SHE MIGHT HAVE BEEN IGNORIN' ME.

So rude.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, here's the thing: Peepers has a stash.  That's right, she has her very own stash.

Or is it a horde...

Huh, probably both.

MOUSES!

But it's like this: Peepers has a stash-slash-horde or horde-slash-stash of yarn.  All sorts of different yarns in all sorts of different colours.  It's embarrassing, really.  Embarrassing for her.

Not to mention me.

IMAGINE havin' more balls of yarn than a peep could ever even dream of knittin' up.

IMAGINE!

I mean, it's not like it's a stash of the nip..

A cat CAN ONLY DREAM of havin' so much nip in his stash that he couldn't possibly use it all up before next harvest season.

MOUSES!

But back to this hordelike stash of yarn the peep has.

It's big.  It's stupidly big.  It's BIGLY big, to be sure.  And it's takin' up space that could be put to much better use by bein' used as space for storin' catnip.  It is TOTALLY RIDICULOUS, for sure.

Which is why...

Which is why...

Which is why I have offered to help her out by takin' some of her stashlike horde, unravellin' it all, and thereby puttin' it to better use than just sittin' around, doin' nothin' but nothin', occupyin' space.

And once it's unravelled...

Once it's unravelled...

Well, once a ball of yarn is unravelled, it's time for kitties to do some major slobberin', before knottin' it up.  And THEN, once unravelled, slobbered upon, and knotted in knots, the best thing to do with said yarn is throw it right out!

MAKIN' SPACE FOR MY ANNUAL HARVEST OF NIP.

*purrs*

But Peepers, bein' a peep, is somewhat resistant to this idea.

MOUSES!

But fear not, my dear friends.  Fear not, not at all!  The plan is for Saffy and I to gather at dawn, dive into that stash, and have....

Well, have a ball!

Pun intended.

We'll gather at dawn and have a ball unravellin' those balls of stupid ol' yarn.

Best. Plan, EVER, for sure.

And when we're all done...

When we're all done...

Well, when we're all done, the empty totes that once held the stupid ol' yarn will be MINE.

Every. Single. One.

MOUSES!

about time

Well it's about time, Peepers.  It's about time.  You've been promising to make me...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

YES I KNOW you started makin' me my blankie ages ago.  But then you set it aside.  You stopped knittin'.  And then...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

YES I KNOW that for a while it was really too hot for for me to need a blankie, at all.  But there were nights that were cooler, too, you know.  I could have used a blankie on those nights, for sure.  PLUS, I can always sleep ON the blankie, even in warm weather, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

YES I KNOW the first stitch you experimented with turned out to be a pain in the tail to knit, but...

WHAT?

Peepers, are you sayin' your first attempt to knit me a blankie was an experiment?

Peepers, ARE YOU SAYIN' you were EXPERIMENTIN'?

Experimentin' on ME?

Of all the moused up, stupid things for a peep to do.

MOUSES!

Peepers, if you wanna be experimentin' with knittin', you should stick to experimentin' on things you happen to be knittin' for yourself.

Or Saffy.

He'll never know.

But not for me.

MOUSES!

YOU HAVE A HECK OF A LOT OF NERVE thinkin' you can possibly get away with experimentin' on knittin' somethin' that you're supposed to be knittin' for me.

MOUSES!

Thank goodness you scrapped that experiment and decided to use a stitch you're more familiar with.  One you know will turn out all cushiony soft.  Thank goodness you decided to use that ol' Bamboo stitch just like the blankie you made for yourself.  Thank goodness you...

Wait a minute.

Peepers, now that I'm lookin' at your knittin' progress a little more closely, I must ask: what's with all the different colours?  How come you're usin' four different colours of yarn to knit up the blankie for me?  

And she's not yet finished.  There might end up bein' more!

What was that, Peepers?  I DIDN'T HEAR YOU.  You didn't answer my question.  Why are you usin' so many different colours when knittin' MY blankie.  YOUR blankie had just the one.

Colour, I mean.

And why the mouses are those the colours you chose?  I mean, the paprika and dusty peach are okay, BUT THE ROSE?  Are you unaware I am a cat who is orange?  Orange with rose?

Really?

MOUSES!

WHAT?

YOU'RE SAYIN' YOU'RE MAKIN' MY BLANKIE USIN' UP OLD SCRAPS?  Scraps of yarn you no longer need?  Scraps of yarn not even worth keepin' in your stash?

You're usin' LEFTOVERS to make a blankie for me?

MOUSES!

Of all the nerve.

I've never been so insulted in all my nine lives.

MOUSES!

breakin' news...

I have breakin' news, my friends.  I have breakin' news.  WHOMPIN' BIG, BIG OL' BREAKIN' NEWS.

MOUSES!

Are you ready?

Are you sittin' down?

Are you as excited 'bout this as am I?

Here goes...

Peepers went to the store the other day and came home with not one, but two plastic totes.  TWO!  That's right, I said, TWO.

And they're pretty darn big totes, too.

MOUSES!

And...

And when I asked her about 'em, about why she had bought those two big plastic totes, she said they were for the stash.

MOUSES!

Oh my mouses, my wonderful friends.  Oh my MOUSES!  Do you know what this means?  DO you?  Those two big totes are for MY stash!

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH CATNIP THOSE TWO TOTES ARE GONNA HOLD?

MOUSES!

I've been wantin' a tote or two to store my nip stash for ages, now.  For ages and ages, for sure!  And not just my stash of loose catnip, either.  I've been wantin'...  No, NEEDIN' a container to hold all my various nip-related items, as well.  I have nip mice and nip fish and nip-filled biff bags - some fabric, some knitted - and then there are the...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

What?

WHAT?

Exactly what is you're tryin' to say, ol' peep of mine?

WHAT???

MOUSES!

So apparently...

So apparently, those two totes are not for me.  Apparently, those two totes, she bought for herself.  Apparently, those two totes are for Peepers' YARN.

Can you believe it, my friends?  CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?  Those two totes were bought to hold Peepers' stupid stash of stupendously stupid, stupid ol' stash of stupid ol' yarn.

And she already had totes stuffed with her stash.  I can't see how she could possibly be needin' two more.

MOUSES!

BREAKIN' NEWS...  Seville the Cat arrested on charges of demolishing a ridiculously large stash of stupendously stupid ol' yarn.

Least that's what the press is likely to report.

Once I get my paws and my slobber all over that stupid ol' yarn.

MOUSES!

hold the mayo

One veggie burger please.

Um, you'd better hold the mayo.

And hold the mustard, relish and ketchup, too.

AND THE VEGGIES. Hold those icky ol' veggies, please.

What the mouses is this? I'm not gonna eat a veggie burger with my paws.  I'm a cat.  Did you not notice my feline features?  I don't need that stupid ol' bun.  Please get rid of that.

Peepers, what did you do?  Now my plate is empty.  MOUSES!

Really?

REALLY?

YOU DON'T SAY.

MOUSES!

So you're tellin' me, a veggie burger with no veggies is nothin' but...

AIR?

For goodness sake.

                                                      **************************

No.  No!  It can't be...  Say it isn't so.  Please....

Oh my mouses that was a nightmare.  There I was, hangin' out at a BBQ picnic kinda thing, practically STARVIN' to death, thinkin' I'd check out what all the fuss about these veggie burgers the peeps eat was, when I ordered one up and got nothin' but air.

That's right, NOTHIN' BUT AIR!

Seriously, my plate was totally bare.

It was the worst kind of nightmare.

MOUSES!

Then the next thing I knew, someone was tryin' to hire me as a poet.

AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW IT.

MOUSES!

Hehehehehe...  But seriously folks, the next time I'm dreaming 'bout bein' at a BBQ, I'm gonna order me up a tin of the fanciest of the feasts, garnished with nip.

And speakin' of nip, I wonder if I overdid the nip last night.  Could that be why I was dreamin' such nightmarish dreams?

WHAT AM I TALKIN' ABOUT?  There's no such thing as havin' too much nip.

On the other paw...

Nope, the other paw agrees with the first.  There's no such thing as too much nip.

Now you're probably all wonderin' how I got my paws on that much nip in the first place, considerin' how incompetent Peep #1 is at growin' the stuff.

And when I say incompetent, I mean INCOMPETENT.  Look it up.

Seriously, look up incompetent in the dictionary, and you'll find a picture of my first peep tryin' to grow the nip.

MOUSES!

So anyway, the nip I got wasn't fresh nip, but it wasn't stale nip, either.

OR MAYBE IT WAS!  Maybe the nip I got into last night was stale and kinda...   You know...  Faulty. Maybe that nip IS what made me dream those nightmarish dreams.

Hmmm....

Nah, that can't be it.  No such thing as faulty weed.

I MEAN, NIP.

Anyway...

Anyway, I was diggin' through...

I mean, I was snoopin' through...

What I REALLY mean is, I was searchin' the peep's stuff last night.

No, that's not quite right, either.  I was actually investigating the armoire bookcase thingy with all those drawers.  The armoire bookcase thingy that is IN MY OFFICE, where I ALLOW the peep to store some stuff, and while INVESTIGATING, I found her stash.

Yeah, I found the peep's stash of nip. You know, the big half kilogram bag of nip she bought last year at Christmas, to make us cats nip hearts and nip mice and the like and...

We'll let's just say, the stash is decidedly smaller today than it was yesterday mornin'.

Hey Peepers!  You might wanna order in some more nip.

No reason.  Just lettin' you know, is all.

MOUSES!