bath time

Hmmm...  I'll just hop up here and see what the peep has on paw. Honeysuckle...  nah. Roses...  blah.  Jasmine and violets?  For mousin' out loud, what does the peep use this stuff for? MOUSES!

Hey Peepers!  Where do you keep the good stuff?

What do you mean, what am I talking about?  I need to know where you keep the good stuff. Where do you keep the nip-scented bath products?  Are they all hidden away under lock and key?

What do you MEAN you don't have any nip-scented bath products?

MOUSES!

Well that being the case, I'll just have to have my dirt bath using dirt alone.  Probably for the best, anyway, as I think your stupid stuff requires water and I was planning on my bath being waterless.

What's that, Peepers?  Why no water?  It's like this, Peepers...

Peepers, do you really need me to explain this to you?  You do, huh?  Figures.

It's like this, Peepers.  When you mix water with dirt, you end up with mud.  MOUSES!

So just toss me a towel and I'll be on my way.

Why do I need a towel, you ask?  'Cause... 'Cause...  Oh.  Right.  I don't!  Never mind.  Outta my way, Peepers.  There's a patch of dirt calling my name.

MOUSES!

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Do any of you kitties, out there, enjoy a good dirt bath?  I know I do.  My fur-sibs do, too.  Nothing like a good roll in the dirt.  Nope, nothing like it at all.  MOUSES!

As some of you may remember, we had The Big Dig going on, over winter.  Peep #1 wasn't too pleased about the diggers of The Big Dig digging up all her daffodils.  I wasn't too happy 'bout that, either, until I realized...

...until I realized that they left behind the biggest, most beautiful, most wonderful dirt patch -filled with soft, reddish-coloured sand - IN THE WORLD.

Seriously, there are beaches that don't have as much sand as our backyard.  MOUSES!

Nothing as far as the eye can see but sand.  Bliss.

Okay, maybe that's a teeny-tiny bit of an exaggeration but the truth is, there's enough sandy dirt out there for all of us cats to take dirt baths every single day.  Sometimes twice.  On Friday, I had three.  MOUSES!

And yes, "MOUSES!" is exactly what Peep #1 said when I came inside after my third roll around in the dirt and shook all the excess sand out on the kitchen floor.  Yup, she said "MOUSES!" all right.  Only it was louder and...  well...

...well funny thing is, she didn't sound all that pleased.

Not nearly as pleased as I was while bathing in all that warm sand.

And it is warm, too.  Oh yeah, warm as warm can be. The sun beats down upon it and heats it up to the most perfect of temperatures.  The most perfect temperature for bathing, for sure.  MOUSES!

This morning, I was thinking I might enjoy a few nip-infused bathing products in my dirt bath but apparently, the peep doesn't have any of those.

If ever there was a time to yell, "MOUSES!," that would have been the time, for sure.  Imagine choosing honeysuckle and jasmine scents over nip.  Just goes to show you that peeps have really questionable tastes.  MOUSES!

And of course, there is that issue with the water.

But now that I think about it, I bet some dried nip mixed in with the sand would make a lovely aromatic dirt bath, for sure.

Bet you didn't know I knew the word aromatic, huh?  Well I do.  MOUSES!

Now the question at paw is, does the peep have a large enough supply of dried nip.  Hmmm...

Wait a minute.  There's Mason heading outside, dragging a towel with her, now.  Excuse me.

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Hey Mason, you heading out for a bath?  No, the peep doesn't have nip bath salts.  I already checked.  Nope, she doesn't have any nip-scented fragrance mist, either.  What?  Nah, she doesn't have anything good at all.  Best you can do is come inside after your dirt bath and nap with a nip mouse or something.  Yeah, that's what I did this morning.  And you don't wanna use the same nip mouse that I used 'cause I slobbered all over it, afterwards.  MOUSES!

Where's Rushton?  Rushy's outside, bathing.  Yeah, he's been out there for a good twenty minutes or so.  Probably fell asleep in the tub...  sand... whatever.  Oh don't worry 'bout that. There's plenty of sand out there. Plenty of room for both you and Rushy to have dirt baths at the same time.

Oh yeah, and when you come inside, be sure to give yourself a good shake in the kitchen.  Yeah, you wanna shake off all the excess sand so that Peep #1 can sweep it up and put it back outside. I think she enjoys doing it.  Yup, she'll say "MOUSES!" and everything.

MOUSES!

gone to the dogs

Dogs.  DOGS!  Today's blog post is being brought to you by dogs.  Yup, it has pretty much gone to the dogs, to be sure. MOUSES!

I was sitting here at my desk this morning, minding my own business, when I happened to look out the window and what did I see?  You guessed it, dogs.  Dogs minding - or rather doing - their business, I might add.

Again I must say, MOUSES!

Funny thing 'bout dogs; they sure do have their peeps well trained.  I mean, you see 'em walking their peeps here, there and just about everywhere and that, my friends, is what I wanna blog about today.

Well that and run-on sentences.

Fooled you!  There will be no talk of run-on sentences in this post.  I might use one or two or maybe even three but I'm not gonna talk about them except, of course, for my brief mentioning of them and that, my friends, is for sure. MOUSES!

But let's get back to those dogs.

Ever notice how dogs have to be walked?  Huh?  Ever notice that?

Now personally, I enjoy a nice walkabout, myself, but not when the weather is nasty and stuff.  I like walking about the garden when it's sunny and the temperatures are just right.  Not too cold and not too hot.  Know what I mean?  And although I have been known to go for a walk in the yard when it's snowing, I don't want to go outside when there's a blizzard a-blowing and I certainly don't want to go out in the rain.  Rain is just...  well...  icky.  MOUSES!

But dogs have to go outside for walks, no matter what the weather.  Whether it's cold or suffocatingly hot or snowing or pouring or blowing up a storm, when you're a dog, you need to go outside for your walks.  That kind of sucks if you ask me.  MOUSES!

And it's not just the dogs, either.  The peeps have to go out walking 'em, too.

I've heard some peeps say they like walking their dogs 'cause it keeps them healthy and stuff.  I can see that.  Kind of.

Yup, I can kind of see how having to walk a dog might give a peep a reason to go out walking but when you think about it, peeps can go out walking pretty much any time they like so technically speaking, they don't have to have a dog in order to take a walk.  I mean, if it's exercise they're after, peeps can simply go do their exercising without any dog being required.

You don't need a dog in order to exercise.

Never once have I heard a peep say, Boy-oh-boy, I'm the luckiest peep around 'cause my car broke down last week and now I have to walk to work and the grocery store and to my doctor's appointments and when going on dates so really, because I've been forced to leave the car sitting in the driveway while I walk just about everywhere, I'm the healthiest person around.

Of course, there was that guy from Canada Post who claimed senior citizen peeps WANTED to walk on slippery sidewalks in the dead of winter to struggle through drifts of snow to pick up their mail at one of those gigantic super-sized mail boxes because those senior peeps wanted to get out and get more exercise.  Yeah, there was that guy.  Of course, I'm not sure he was walking along those same streets. Nah, he probably drove his car.

Need I say it?  Sure, why not? MOUSES!

But once again, let's get back to those dogs.

This is not an anti-dog post.  No sirree, I'm not an anti-dog kind of cat.  This here post is actually pro-dog.  Or rather, for the dogs, so to speak...  type...  whatever.

This here post is about a newly invented invention of mine.  Well technically speaking, I haven't actually invented it yet.  I'm still in the planning stages and whatnot but once I have a working prototype, I'm planning on presenting it on that television show where cats and peeps present their business ideas to these financial bigwigs and get money to make 'em happen and stuff.

Well actually...  if I'm gonna be really technical...  so far...

So far there haven't been any cats appearing on the Dragon's Den.  Nope, so far only peeps but I figure there's a first time for everything so why shouldn't I be the first cat to appear on that show, ready to start up a business and stuff?  Huh?  Why not?  MOUSES!

And when you're a cat like me with such a great idea as mine...

Well I think the Dragon's Den is the PURRfect fit and will be lucky to have me, to be sure. MOUSES!

So here's what I'm thinking...

You take a big plastic box, kind of like a litter box but bigger in size.  Four by four feet should do nicely but unlike a kitty litter box, it will have lower sides.  Yeah, only an inch or so of rim is necessary as no litter is required because as we all know, doggies don't like to bury their...  uh... you-know-whats as do we cats.  And in the middle of the box, will be a fire hydrant for the peeing station and below that, some sort of catch-all for the uh...  liquids.  And next to the box will sit a box of poop bags and disinfectant wipes, for easy clean-up.

But that's not the whole thing!  Oh no, the litter box part of the the litter box sits next to a circular wheel - pardon the redundancy - that is wide enough for a dog and a peep to walk, side-by-side. Just like they make 'em for gerbils and whatnot only bigger on account of the dogs and the peeps who will be using them, instead.

The beauty of my indoor doggy toilets - which is my working name for now - is that dogs and peeps can still get their exercise and do their daily constitutionals but they can do so, from the comfort of inside their own home. No rain or snow to contend with.  No icy cold winds. No cars madly beeping their horns.  No mailmen yelling when you chase 'em.  None of that nasty stuff at all!

What's more, my indoor doggy toilets will answer the age-old question of who let the dogs out?  The answer, of course, will be no one for no one need let the dogs out if said dogs are doing their business indoors.  MOUSES!

When you think about it, it's pure genius, really.  Yup, pure genius for sure.  Just goes to show you, it takes a cat to invent an indoor doggy toilet with walking wheel accessory, to be sure.  MOUSES!

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And speaking of litter boxes, the peeps are still waiting on that permit from the Department of Environment for The Big Dig to begin in my backyard but we heard today that the permit has been processed and issued so that's some good news, for sure.