the story unfolds

Previously on Nerissa's Life...

The young lad shrugged his shoulders.  "Cats!  They can be so strange, sometimes," he murmured to himself, before heading off home to his mother.

Mason and Andy were in hot pursuit of Seville as he ran down the path as fast as his four paws would carry him.  Turning a corner, Seville came to a small clearing.

Seville skidded to a stop, and Mason ran into him, pushing him forward.  Moments later, Anderson ran into both Mason and Seville, causing all three to tumble, head over heels, until finally, they all came to rest inches away from their destination.

In unison, the three cats let out a long whistle.

Seville's jaw dropped, for he could barely believe what stood before him:  A house made entirely of nip.

Anderson started to drool.

Mason shook her head in disbelief.

"This, here, is where the Weasel Syndicate has set up shop," Seville stated.  "This is what they were talkin' about in that Paper Tablet Tabloid, for sure!"

"But why on Earth would the Weasel Syndicate build a house out of catnip?" asked Mason.  "Something isn't adding up."

"FOUR!" yelled Andy.  "The answer is four."

The other cats turned to stare at him.  "What?  The answer is always four, isn't it?  I'm always hearing people say, 'two plus two equals four'."

"Oh for the love of mouses," and Seville rolled his eyes.

At that moment, a wicked witch...  I mean, a WEASEL, wearing a wicked witch's hat and cloak, exited the house made entirely of nip.  Seeing the three cats, she smiled the most sinister of smiles.  "And what do we have here?" she asked.  Grabbing hold of Andy by his mane, she hauled him up onto his paws, and dragged him inside the house.   "Now don't you look DELICIOUS," she sneered.

"What the mouses?" cried Seville.  He and Mason scrambled to their paws and together, they darted inside the catnip house before the door closed behind Andy and the weaselly wicked witch.

"Stop!  STOP!" Andy cried.  "Let go of me, you... You...  YOU WEASEL!" he yelled.

"You had better do as he says!" cried Seville, giving the witchy weasel a good smacky-paw across the back of her legs.  "No one treats my brother like that.  NO ONE BUT ME."

Mason grabbed hold of Seville by the tail and tugged, "Sivvers, look.  Who are all these..." and she motioned in front of her.  "These non-weasels?"

Seville stopped mid smacky-paw - for he was about to introduce the wicked witch to his other front paw - and looked about.  "WHAT THE MOUSES?" he gasped.

The house made entirely of nip had but only the one room, and in the center of that room was a small table.  Sitting around it were three little pigs, bickering about building supplies.  In one corner was a little old lady, rocking back and forth on a rocking chair, and knitting what appeared to be a sweater, all the while complaining about her absentee granddaughter.

"Cluck, cluck, cluck!"

Seville jumped at the sound and turned to find a hen.

"Cluck, cluck, cluck!" the hen cried again, this time more loudly.  The witchy weasel reached under the hen and pulled out an egg.  Holding it up to the light, it sparkled as if made out of solid gold.

Then came a knock on the door, and from the other side could be heard an evil sounding voice.  "Let me in!  LET ME IN!" the voice cried.

Everyone sat still, and the house made entirely of catnip became deathly quiet.

"I SAID...  LET ME IN!  LET ME IN!  Or by the hair of my chinny-chin-chin, I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll..."

"Oh for mousin' out loud.  Hold onto your horses, there," ordered Mason, padding over to the door and flinging it wide open.

"By the hair of my chinny-chin-chin, I'll...

"I'll...

"I'LL...

"AH...  AH...  AH...   ACHOO!" and the wolf sneezed a sneeze so violent, it shook the entire niphouse, causing bits of catnip to fall from the ceiling.

"IT'S RAINING NIP!" Andy squealed with delight.

The wolf glared at Mason.  "A cat?  BUT I'M ALLERGIC TO CATS!" he wailed.

"All this falling catnip is making a mess of my knitting!" the old lady cried.

Andy dashed over to the old lady's side.  "Messes are sort of my speciality," he explained.  "What you want to do is..."

"What you wanna do," Seville interjected, "is stop makin' stupid ol' sweaters, and start makin' nip toys.  They're smaller, and a whole lot faster to knit.  And look at all this nip you have here to use!"  He grabbed hold of a piece of the wall, held it to his nose, and breathed in deeply.  "Gosh darn it," Seville grumbled.  "Now I've got the munchies.  MOUSES!"

"Hey!  HEY!  HEY!" cried the wolf, demanding everyone's attention.  "Someone called me, asking for an estimate.  I'm here to do an estimate for a demolition job!"

"OH WITCHY WEASEL LADY..." Seville called out.  "You have any snacks on paw?  All this nip has given me the munchies."

"I TOLD you to build your house out of brick," said one of the three pigs to a brother.  "Using catnip was bound to attract cats."

"And what's wrong with that?" Mason spun on her hind paws.  Nose-to-nose now with the little pig, she demanded,  "YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH CATS?"

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!" The wicked witchy weasel screamed.  "This is NOT how this story goes!  This is NOT how the story unfolds!"


Suddenly, Seville woke with a start.

"I'm going up to bed now, Sweetie," and Peep #1 gently kissed Seville on the top of his head.  "Are you sleeping down here on the chesterfield, or are you coming upstairs?"

Seville stretched out a paw, then brought it close as if hugging himself, before wrapping it around one ear.  Letting out a loud sigh, he fell back to sleep.  Mason lay on the floor next to the chesterfield, purring as loudly as only a Mason can purr.  Anderson got to his paws and following Peep #1 into the kitchen, hoping there might be a treat or two in the offing.

"Nightie-night everyone," Peep #1 softly whispered, heading upstairs.
                                   

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And they all lived happily ever after.

The End.

the dark and scary forest

Previously on Nerissa's Life...  

Seville stopped mid-sentence as the truth dawned on him.  "ANDY!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY TRAIL OF TREATS?"

"Treats?  What treats?" Andy asked, looking about, innocently.  "I didn't see any treats.  I didn't see any treats lying on the floor of this dark and scary forest.  I didn't see any trail of treats that led me right to you and Mason.  Nope, not a single one.  I didn't see a single tempting treat, at all."

Mason began to sniff around on the ground.  Finding no sign of Seville's treat trail beyond where Anderson stood, she frantically cried, "Seville, the trail is gone!  It's gone!  GONE!  We're lost!  Lost, I tell you.  LOST!  Lost out here in the middle of this dark and scary forest.  Lost, never to be found again.  What will become of us?  What will we do?"

Seville reached back and gave his sister a good smacky-paw across the face to calm her down.

"Seville," sniffed Mason, "the three of us are most certainly lost."

Anderson looked down at his paws.  "I messed up again, didn't I," he murmured.

"You can say that again," Seville scowled.  "In fact, you SHOULD say that again, Andy.  Only this time, say it a little louder, so EVERYONE can hear you."

"I messed up again," Andy repeated.  "I MESSED UP AGAIN.  I MESSED UP AGAIN!"

An owl hooted, off in the distance.

"Okay, so maybe not that loud," and Seville motioned for Andy to quiet down.  "Not sure I want all the creatures of this very dark and scary forest knowin' our whereabouts."

"We have to turn around, right now, and go straight back home," Mason stated.

"We have no trail to follow, remember?  Andy ate it," Seville reminded his sister.  "Now I think...  I think we should forge on ahead.  Do what we came here to do.  Let's go find those darned, moused-up weasels.  Who's with me?"

Hearing no answer, Seville took a good, hard look at his fur-sibs, only to find them shivering in their boots.  Metaphorically speaking, of course, for neither one was actually wearing any boots.

"Come on, you two...  So it's kinda dark out here.  So it's kinda scary.  It's a dark and scary forest!  What else is it supposed to be?  Have you ever known me to steer you wrong?  DON'T ANSWER THAT," and he held up a paw.  "MOUSES!"

Mason and Anderson refused to budge.

"Well I'm goin' in search of those weasels, even if you're not, so THERE." and Seville set off in the direction of where he believed the Weasel Syndicate had set up shop, heading deeper into the woods.  Casually, he dropped a treat on the forest floor, and a few paces later, he dropped another.  Seville surreptitiously looked over his shoulder and smiled to himself when he saw Andy following the dropped treats, even if he was eating them up as he went along.

"WELL YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME BEHIND!" Mason cried. "YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME ALL ALONE OUT HERE, ALL BY MYSELF!  ALL BY MYSELF IN THIS DARK AND SCARY FOREST!" and she scampered after her two brothers.

Seville chuckled to himself, and forged ahead.

A little while later, the three cats came to a clearing in the woods.  A young girl, wearing a bright red cloak, darted past.  "Hey!  YOU!" Seville cried out to her.  But instead of replying, she just held the basket she was carrying closer to her chest, and ran that must faster.  "How rude," Seville grumbled.  "You'd think there was a wolf after her or somethin'.  MOUSES!"

A few minutes later, a young boy entered the clearing and looked around.  Seeing the three cats, he approached them.  He was humming a happy tune to himself, all the while tossing up and down, a little leather pouch.  The pouch made a crunchy noise each time the lad caught it.  It was a familiar sound, rather like the nippy bean bags Peep #1 sometimes made.  The ones she filled with dried beans and catnip.  Seville sniffed the air but detected no sign of the nip.  Clearly, he would have no use for a leather pouch containing nothing but dried beans.

"You happen to know of any buildings in this here neck of the woods?" Seville asked the boy.  "Any buildings that might house the Weasel Syndicate's new enterprise?"

The boy thought for a moment before answering.  "None that I know of," and he rubbed his chin.  "None but the one a little ways down that path," and he pointed to the path on the other side of the clearing.  "Now as for weasels...  What exactly does a weasel look like?"

"If you don't know that, you've never met one," Seville stated.  "But there's a house or somethin' down that path, you say?"

"Oh yes, that very one.  It's a little house with a thatched roof.  Actually, it's not just the roof that's thatched.  The entire house is made of some odd kind of grass or straw."

Seville's eyes widened.  "An odd kind of grass, you say?"

"Uh-huh."  The boy screwed up his face, "It smells funny.  Almost minty, but not really.  It can't be regular straw.  I once took some when no one was looking, thinking I could use it to feed my cow, but she refused to have anything to do with it."

"Did you hear that?" Seville turned to Mason and Anderson.  "Grass that smells minty, but not really?  That's gotta be a nip house, for sure.  An entire house made of nip!" he cried with delight, doing a little jig, right on the spot.  "A HOUSE MADE OF NIP!  A HOUSE MADE OF NIP!" and without a second thought, Seville ran further into the woods.

"Oh crappy crapola mouses," Mason complained, placing her front paws on her hips.  "I suppose there's nothing for it but for us to follow him," she told Anderson, before crossing the clearing and stepping onto the path down which Seville had disappeared, moments before.

"I'M COMING!" yelled Andy, scampering after his brother and sister.  "WAIT FOR ME!  WAIT FOR ME!"

The young lad shrugged his shoulders.  "Cats!  They can be so strange, sometimes," he murmured to himself, before heading off home, to his mother.

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Be sure to return Sunday for Part III of our adventure in the dark and scary forest.

read me a story

"Read me a story, Peepers.  Please?  I'm havin' a hard time fallin' asleep, but I just KNOW I could fall asleep, lickety-split, if you were to read me a good story.  Doesn't matter which one.  Maybe a fairy tale or somethin'?  PLEASE?"

Seville curled up on the couch, and Peep #1 brought out The Big Book of Fairy Tales, a book containing many of Seville's favourite stories.  "Once upon a time," Peep #1 began.

Seville closed his eyes, and listened.

Once upon a time, a very useless nip grower, and her handsome marmalade cat, along with his four fur-sibs, lived in a tiny cottage at the edge of a terribly dark and scary forest...

"Mason!  MASON!  You'll NEVER guess what I just read.  It was on the front PAGE of the PAPER, and everythin'.  Apparently, the Weasel Syndicate has set up shop in the woods behind our house.  Right out there.  Behind OUR HOUSE.  Can you believe it?  MOUSES!"

Mason rolled her eyes.  "Oh for goodness sake, Seville.  You can't believe everything you read.  Haven't you ever heard of fake news?"

Seville scowled at his sister.  "It's not fake news, Sis.  It's real news.  Printed right there on the cover of somethin' called a tabloid, which is a paper tablet, I do believe.  MOUSES!"

Mason rolled her eyes again.  "Like I said, it's FAKE NEWS, Seville.  You really are the most gullible cat ever, aren't you?"

"I am not.  I'll prove it to you, too.  Prove that it's real, that is," and Seville stomped a paw.  "Tonight, when the peep is fast asleep, I'm gonna sneak out of the house and find those weasels, if it's the last thing I do."

"And it likely will be the last thing you do, if you go wandering around in the woods late at night.  You know perfectly well, Peep #1 doesn't allow us cats out after dark."

"Yeah, well what the peep doesn't know won't hurt her, will it?"

"The question is, will it hurt YOU."  Mason eyed her brother.  "I'll make you a deal.  We'll go in search of those supposed weasels, together, but if we don't - AND WE WON'T - find them within an hour, we'll come home straight away."

Seville considered the offer for a moment before breaking into a large smile.  "DEAL!" and he high-pawed his sister.  "We'll find those weasels before you know it, Sis, 'cause I KNOW they're out there.  Fake news...  Ha!  What WILL you come up with next?  MOUSES!"

Late that night, as the clock struck midnight, Mason and Seville quietly crept through the house, readying themselves for their journey.  Seville opened the back door and together, the two cats stepped out into the darkness.

They approached the edge of the terribly dark and scary forest, and Mason said nervously, "I don't think this is such a good idea after all, Seville."

Seville looked up at the night sky.  "It's a full moon tonight," he remarked.  "There's lots of moonlight, Mason.  It's practically like the middle of the day!  We're gonna be fine."

Entering the forest, Mason and Seville followed a well-trodden path.  Although they had travelled along this particular path many times, even Seville had to admit it looked a lot different at night.  There were shadows where shadows had never before been, and unfamiliar noises such as the hooting of owls could be heard.  He couldn't help but shudder.

After walking for ten minutes or so, the cats came to a fork in the path.  Seville sat back on his haunches and thought.  "Now which way do you suppose we should go?" he asked aloud.

"I think," Mason began, "we should turn right around, and head back home.  Sivvers, Weasel Syndicate or not, we're going to get ourselves lost out here.  If we're not lost already, that is."

"Got that covered!" and Seville pumped the air with a paw.  "I left us a trail to follow home."

Mason looked puzzled.

"Mason, while you've been unnecessarily fretting over our gettin' lost, I, Seville the Cat, have been doin' somethin' to prevent it.  I've been leavin' a trail for us to follow.  One that will take us right back home, when the time comes.  See this bag of treats?" and he held up a now half-empty bag of his favourite temptations.  "You probably thought I was munchin' on these while we've been walkin', but you'd be wrong about that.  Why, I haven't munched on a single one!  No sirree.  Instead, I've been droppin' a treat or two, every few feet, as we've been walkin' along."

Mason's jaw dropped and she looked truly amazed.  For even though Seville's incredible intelligence and foresight were obvious to practically EVERYONE ON THE PLANET, until now, this fact had escaped her.  "Well I'll be..."

Seville smiled, smugly.  "Check it out, Sis.  Come on, I'll show you," and he led Mason back along the path a few paces, pointing out dropped treats here and there, along the way.  "See?  This trail of treats will lead us straight home when the time comes."

Together they turned a corner, but stopped suddenly when they ran smack dab into one of their two long-haired marmie freak brothers.

"Anderson!" Seville cried.  "What the mouses are you doin' out here?"

"Ummph..." Andy mumbled, his mouth full.  Swallowing hard, he began again.  "What are YOU doing out here?" he asked.  "Peep #1 says we cats aren't allowed outside after dark, and we're especially not supposed to be wandering about in this terribly dark and scary forest."


"Since when did you start doin' what the peep says?" Seville asked.

"About half an hour ago, I think.  I wanted to see what you and Mason were up to.  I wanted to see what kind of trouble you were getting into, so that I could tell on you."

Seville peered at his brother.  "And by the way, what were you eatin', before?" he asked.  "Peep #1 also says, we shouldn't just put any ol' thing we find, into our mouths, and..."

Seville stopped mid-sentence as the truth dawned on him.  "ANDY!  WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY TRAIL OF TREATS?"

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Be sure to return Wednesday to find out what happens next.