dear diary

Dear Diary...

Hmmm...

DEAR Diary...

Hmmm...

My Dearest Diary...

Hmmm...

Nope, still nothin'.  Still nothin' at all.

MOUSES!

HEY PEEPERS!  What kinda things do you write in your diary?

Nothin'?  You don't write in your diary, you say?

Yeah, I feel your pain, ol' peep of mine.  I'm havin' the same problem here.  I can't seem to find anythin' to write.

Dear Diary...

Nope, nothin' has changed.

MOUSES!

So Peepers, how come you don't use your diary?  You have writer's diary block, too?

Or should that be diary writer's block?

Hmmm...

Really?  You don't have a diary to use?  Interestin'.

Hmmm...

Okay Peepers, let's say you did have a diary.  Now if you had a diary, what would you write?  What kinda stuff?  Anythin' I could happen to use?

You'd probably use it to write lists?

What kinda lists, Peepers?  Interestin' lists?  Lists cats and other peeps might wanna read?

The grocery list?  A "to do" list, you say?  A list of what you planted where and when, so that when stuff starts growin' in the garden, you know what said stuff is?

WHAT KINDA STUPID LISTS ARE THOSE?

Oh yeah.  Peep lists.

MOUSES!

Peepers, you are of absolutely NO help, at all.

MOUSES!

Dear Diary...

Oh, who am I kiddin'?  I'm not into this diary writin' business.  I've nothin' interestin' to write about, you see.  Nothin' at all! 

And I'm really not convinced it's supposed to be used to write stupid lists.

I'll be lucky if I can...

WAIT A MINUTE....

HEY PEEPERS!  YOU THINK IT'S OKAY TO WRITE A PURELY FICTIONAL DIARY?  DOES A FICTIONAL DIARY, STILL A DIARY MAKE?

You don't think so, huh?

Hmmm...

But what do you know, Peepers?  You don't even HAVE a diary.  You have not one whit of diary writin' experience.  You don't even know what a diary is.

No, you surely don't.  'Cause let me tell you somethin', ol' peep of mine: I am one hundred thousand kajillion percent sure, diaries are NOT supposed to be used for writin' lists.

MOUSES!

Dear Diary.  Today I, Seville the Cat, woke up to a call from the Prime Minister's Office concernin' a phone call the PM had from King Charles, requestin' my assistance with...

Oh my mouses, now THIS is the kinda diary entry, cats like me should make.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

afternoon plans

Hey ho, Sivvers the Cat here, bringin' you the latest news from sunny Nova Scotia.

Scratch that.  It's not sunny today.

Hey ho, Sivvers the Cat here, bringin' you the latest news from dull and drizzlin', RAINY Nova Scotia.

But give it a minute, 'cause all that could change.

MOUSES!

So anyway...

So anyway, here I am, lookin' out my office window at a dull, borin', drizzlin' kinda day.  A day without a sunpuddle in sight.  Thing is though, the weatherpeeps on the telly are sayin' it's supposed to be sunny.  And who knows, maybe by this afternoon it will be.  But this mornin'?  Like I said, not a sunpuddle in sight.

MOUSES!

So as the weatherpeeps currently appear to be WRONG, I'll have to plan on doin' somethin' other than sunbathin' this afternoon.  But what?  What on earth should I do?  What should I do on a drizzly kinda day?

I figured I'd ask Saffron what his plans were for the day but after I shook him awake, he just rolled over, let out a big yarn, and went back to sleep.

Guess that's what happens when you're up at three doin' the zoomies all through the house.

MOUSES!

Then I asked the peep what HER plans were for the day but before she could give me an answer, I thought better of that and walked outta the room.  WHATEVER Peepers has planned is bound to be of no interest to me.  Peepers is known to do borin', stupid stuff.  It's in her nature, you see.

MOUSES!

Then I looked out my office window.  Thought I might find some inspiration out there.  Thought someone outside might give me some ideas.

There were birdies flittin' about, but you know...  Well we cat's can't fly and therefore, we can't flit.

MOUSES!

Then I saw some guy ridin' a bike.

Hmmm...

Nope, my paws wouldn't reach the peddles.

'Cause I don't have a Seville the Cat sized bike, you see.

MOUSES!

Then I saw some other guy runnin' or joggin' or somethin' like that.  He appeared to be runnin' after the guy on the bike.

Like a dog chasin' a car.  Like. A. DOG.

MOUSES!

Well I'm certainly NOT gonna do that.

Then I noticed a crack in the clouds and the sun peekin' out, and I thought...

And I thought...

SUNPUDDLES HERE I COME!

But then it clouded over again so that was that.

MOUSES!

*sighs*

So that's when I decided I'd find out what the peep's plans were for the day, after all.  AND EVEN THOUGH THEY'RE BOUND TO BE BORIN' AND STUPID (like usual), I, Seville the Cat, would lend a paw to help her out.  'Cause we kitties can be helpful in so many ways.  If she's gonna read, I can read along with her, flickin' my tail across her book when the page is in need of changin'.  If she's gonna knit, I can prep her yarn with my spit.  If she's gonna bake, I can be right there, doin' figure eights 'round and 'round and 'round her feet.  If she's gonna nap, I can meow and meow AND MEOW AS LOUDLY AS A KITTY POSSIBLY CAN MEOW and lull her to sleep.   Oh, and if it dries up a bit and she goes out to garden, I can go out with her and dig a whole whack of things up.  If she's gonna....

Aw, who am I kiddin'?  I think I'll go take a nap.

After havin' a snack.

'Cause all this plannin' has made me a mite peckish, you see.

Not to mention kinda tired.

I'm in dire need of some sleep.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

resolutions

I, Seville the Cat, do solemnly swear...

Scratch that.  Peepers says I shouldn't swear.

MOUSES!

I, Seville the Cat, do solemnly resolve...

That's better.  No swearin' involved.

MOUSES!

I, Seville the Cat, do solemnly resolve that in this here new year of 2023, Peepers will...

I know, I know...  I know what you're thinkin'.  You're thinkin' I should be makin' New Year's Resolutions for myself and not for the peep.

Well...

Well if you remember from years past, makin' resolutions for the peeps is kinda what I do.

MOUSES!

The thing is, as a cat, I'm pretty much perfect as it is.  So why the mouses would I be needin' to make resolutions to improve myself?  Perfection does not require improvin', you see.

Plus...

Plus, keepin' these New Year's Resolution thingies is a royal pain in the tail.

Or so I am told.

MOUSES!

That's right, it's far easier for me to make New Year's Resolutions for Peepers than to make 'em for myself.  Making 'em for her means I don't have to bother keepin' any resolutions, AND if Peepers doesn't keep the resolutions I've made for her...

Well...

Well if Peepers doesn't keep the New Year's Resolutions I've made for her, odds are my complaints 'bout her not keeping 'em will keep me supplied in topics for my blog all year long.

It's a win-win situation, for sure.

MOUSES!

Now back to this ol' resolution makin' thing.

I, Seville the Cat, do solemnly resolve that in this here new year of 2023, PEEPERS will...

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.