get a load of this

Hey Peepers!  PEEPERS!  Peepers, get over here.  Get a load of this.

MOUSES!

Just look at 'em, Peepers.  Just look at 'em!  Just sittin' there on that branch with with their mouths hangin' open wide, and...

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?

You what?  You think they're what?  You happen to think they are cute?

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Peepers, Peepers, Peepers...  Peepers, you should know by now what cute is and what cute isn't.  I, Seville the Cat, am cute.  My brother Saffy Saffron Sassifras is cute, too.  Cat videos are cute.  Bunnies can be cute.  Not as cute as cats, mind you, but they can still be pretty cute.  Same thing applies to raccoons.

 BUT CROWS?

Crows are not cute.

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What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

You think those crows are sittin' there on that branch with their mouths hangin' open like that 'cause they're waitin' for their mommas and poppas to feed 'em?

Well THAT'S not very cute.  It's actually kinda rude.

PLUS, those don't look like baby birdies to me.  They're really pretty big.  They look kinda full grown.

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What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about NOW?

They get big, you say?  Baby crows can get pretty big?  Baby crows are still bein' looked after by their parents even when they look almost full grown?

Really?

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But what's with the sittin' there with their mouths hangin' open bit?

Oh yeah, you said they were waitin' for their parents to feed 'em.

Hmmm...

But their parents aren't comin' and givin' them food.  Their PARENTS are sittin' there on another branch, just ignoring 'em.  So what's that all about, huh?  Got an explanation for that, ol' peep of mine?

They're tryin' to teach their young to fend for themselves, huh?  Encourage 'em to fly down and grab some nosh all on their own.

Hmmm...

Well, I still say sittin' there on a branch like that with their mouths open wide looks really kinda rude.  Plus, goodness knows what might fly into those wide open mouths.  Maybe a fly, maybe a wasp, maybe a...

And you know somethin', Peepers?  If Saffy or I were to sit there with our mouths hangin' open like that, you'd probably tell us to close our mouths, pronto.  'Cause it's rude.  And unattractive, for sure.  And...

AND YOU KNOW SOMETHIN' ELSE, PEEPERS?  Neither Saffy nor I have ever just sat there expectin' food to magically appear out of nowhere.  We're perfectly capable of findin' our own fuds, to be sure.

Peepers, why are you lookin' at me like that?  Are you mockin' me, ol' peep of mine?  Can that possibly be true?

Or are you just passin' some gas?

Bwahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahaha!

My gosh I crack myself up.

MOUSES!

But seriously, Peepers, neither Saffy nor I have ever behaved like those birdies up there.

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Peepers!  PEEPERS!  PEEPERS!

Peepers, I'm feelin' a tad peckish, over here.

You know, a few treats would be good.

Could you bring 'em a little closer?  Could you bring those treats over to me?

Yeah, right over here.  Right here by my paws.  Actually, just hold 'em up in front of me and I'll 'em out of your hand.

You know, so I don't have to strain myself by walkin' over to you or bendin' over to eat 'em from the floor.

Come on Peepers.  Hurry up with the treats.  I'm sittin' here, practically droolin', like a cat who hasn't seen fuds in all his nine lives.

And would you look at that.  Those crows are still sittin' there on that branch with their mouths hangin' open, wide.

You'd never see a cat doin' anythin' like that.

MOUSES!