you have mail

You have mail.

Oohhh...  an e-mail for me.  SWEET.

MOUSES!

Well at least I'm assumin' it's for me.  Looks like it's from some guy named Subrat Dey.  Only thing is, I don't know any guy goin' by the name of Subrat.  I once knew a guy with the name of Belowdog Night, but he turned out to be nothin' but a weasel.

MOUSES!

But all that aside, let's take a look at this letter.  "Dear Customer...."

Well that's a bit presumptuous, I should think.  Since I've never heard of Subrat Dey before, I'M PRETTY SURE I'm not a customer of his.   And if I were, you'd think he'd know my actual name and not use a generic label like "customer."  Is he assumin' I'll BE his customer after readin' his letter?  Is he assumin' his letter is that good?  I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE'S SELLIN'!

MOUSES!

But back to the letter at paw.

"Dear Customer, we are offering 2 hours of free Virtual Assistance Services like Data Entry, Email Marketing, blog writing..."

Blog writing.

WHAT THE MOUSES?

WHAT THE MOUSIE MOUSIN' MOUSED-UP MOUSES?

WHAT THE....

Awww....

MOUSES!

APPARENTLY, this guy doesn't know that I, Seville the Cat, WRITE ALL MY OWN STUFF.

You'd think if I actually were a customer of his, that's somethin' he would already know.

MOUSES!

Imagine the nerve of someone sendin' me, Seville the Cat - WORLD-WIDE BLOGGIN' KITTY EXTRAORDINAIRE - an email suggestin' some stupid VIRTUAL ASSISTANT TEAM is capable of writin' MY blogs for ME.

Like I said before: I WRITE ALL MY OWN STUFF.

MOUSES!

"If interested please respond to my email so that I can send you..."

Oh, I'll respond to your e-mail, all right.  I'll respond to it, lickety split!  I've got a mind to give you a piece of my mind, for sure.

Or on the other paw...

Maybe I'll just take a nap.  I could surely go for a nap 'round 'bout now.

Or maybe a snack!

OR I KNOW...  BOTH.

'Cause if I am gonna respond to this guy's e-mail, I need to be well-rested and have my tummy full.  'Cause let me tell you somethin', my friends: a tired, hungry kitty can get kinda cranky when dealin' with these kinda unsolicited solicitin' peeps.  And if I'm tired and hungry, I might end up goin' a little overboard when CATsplainin' the way of the world to this guy.  And it seems to me, I'm gonna have an awful lotta catsplainin' to do.

But I wouldn't wanna go so far as to make him cry, or anythin' like that.

I don't think.

'Cause that might be mean.

MOUSES!

*******************************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!