Maybe you should just leave it open.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' I'm tellin' Peepers to leave the back door open so Saffy Saffron Sassifras can just sit there for a minute... Scratch that. So Saffy Saffron Sassifras can just sit there for an HOUR or two, 'til he decides whether he wants to go outside or stay in.
Now normally, this guess would probably be right. I mean, we cats do like to sit by an open door and ponder a bit. Ponder 'bout the meanin' of life. 'Bout why the birds sing. 'Bout whether or not we want to be outside or in.
You know, those sorta things.
Why I, myself, have been known to ponder by an open door for so long I FELL ASLEEP RIGHT THERE ON THE SPOT!
FYI, fallin' asleep by an open door is not a good idea, on account of it givin' a peep the opportunity to pick you up and carry you away from said door before you've had the chance to figure out if you want to be in or out.
But back to what I was talking 'bout before. No, if you're guessin' I was suggestin' that Peepers leave the back door open for Saffy, even though you would normally be right, this time, that guess would be wrong.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' that if my suggestion wasn't 'bout the door, it must have been 'bout the bag of treats on the counter.
Now that, my friends, would be an EXCELLENT idea. Yes sirree, leavin' the bag of treats on the counter open for us kitties would be an excellent idea, for sure. Why, it would mean Saffron and I could help ourselves whenever we wanted. We wouldn't be havin' to pester Peepers all the time. Pester her by meowin' for her to get her up off her lazy tail and go get us some treats! Ah yes, it would be an excellent idea, for sure, except...
'Cept it kinda implies we cats can be pests.
WHICH WE ARE NOT.
Except maybe at four in the mornin' when we sometimes think the peep should get up and check on our catnip plants outside, 'cause it's rainin' really heavily and we're concerned the plants could be drownin', AND WOULDN'T IT BE NICE if a peep were to go out there with an umbrella or two to protect 'em from the torrential downpour.
Not to mention all the thunder and lightenin'.
So no, my suggestion wasn't 'bout that, either.
Fine, I'll give you the answer.
Peepers was standin' at the fridge earlier today, with the fridge door open wide, wonderin' if there was anythin' in there worthy of snackin'. Or maybe she was thinkin' she'd pour herself somethin' to drink but couldn't decide if she wanted a glass of iced tea or fizzy water. Or perhaps...
Oh I don't know what she was thinkin' might materialise if she stood there long enough, starin' inside. Bein' a peep, she has weird tastes, you see, so to be perfectly honest, WHATEVER she was plannin' on havin' would be of no interest to me.
However, I did notice that when the fridge door was open fully wide, some nice cool air came a-wafting in my direction. And since it was hot and muggy where I was standin', that nice cool air felt pretty good, to be sure.
So I suggested ol' Peepers should just leave the fridge door open and I would stand in front of it like the fridge was my very own personal air conditioner, you see.
Oddly enough, the peep didn't agree.
Instead, she grabbed a bottle of fizzy water and closed the fridge door, and the cool air I WAS enjoyin', could be enjoyed no more.
What a stupid peep.
Remember to mask up, too.