I almost didn't get to blog today, my friends.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' I was probably havin' Internet problems and stuff.
Well I was. And to be perfectly honest, I did almost give up. But I kept perseverin' and I finally got on.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' if my almost not gettin' to blog today wasn't on account of my Internet issues, it was probably on account of my bein' hung over from imbibin' in the nip yesterday, celebratin' Canada Day.
Well that could be true. Kinda. I mean, I did imbibe in a lot of catnip yesterday, celebratin' the birthday of our great nation and all, but...
BUT TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I STILL AM!
Imbibin', that is.
And I don't think the hangover bit starts 'til after you stop sniffin' the nip; and I'm plannin' on celebratin' Canada Day All. Weekend. Long.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' that if my almost not getttin' to blog today wasn't on account of my lousy Internet connection or a catnip hangover, you can't possibly be expected to think of any other reason, 'cept perhaps sheer laziness or somethin' like that.
Sheer laziness of PEEPERS, that is.
Well Peepers can be a little sloth-like, for sure.
You should see the state of the lawn.
But Peepers' sloth-like qualities are NOT the reason for my almost not bloggin' today. My reason does, however, have somethin' to do with the peep.
Are you ready?
You had better sit down.
So what happened is this: Early this mornin', I decided to give the ol' garden a tour. With a sprig of catnip hangin' outta the corner of my mouth - I was chewin' on it, you see - I headed out back to check on Peepers' peppers and flowery stuff and garden type things. Well! Well I rounded the corner and the first thing I saw was the bed where she's growin' her tomatoes.
Now NORMALLY tomato plants wouldn't be of interest to me. After all, I'm a cat and we cats don't like tomatoey things. Fact.
But what I saw in that bed of tomatoes was astoundin', for sure. I don't know what the mouses she's feedin' those plants but I swear they're all at least a good five feet tall. They're TOWERIN' outta the ground. LITERALLY! They're so tall...
They're so tall I can barely see the tops of 'em.
Most of 'em are taller than Peepers, for sure!
And the thing is...
The thing is, this is only the second of July. And they still have another three months to grow taller!
Now these mutant tomato plants belongin' to Peepers have me worried for two very good reasons. Firstly, I have concerns 'bout those darned vines takin' over the whole garden and usin' up space better used for the growin' of nip.
Well secondly, I don't know 'bout you, but I'VE read the accounts of ol' Jack and that beanstalk and let me tell you somethin', my friends: NO CAT, NO WHERE, HAS EVER WANTED A BIG OL' GIANT FALLIN' DOWN FROM A GIGANTIC TOMATO PLANT, THEN WANDERIN' AROUND IN HIS GARDEN, and POSSIBLY CRUSHIN' HIS CATNIP PLANTS THAT HE HAS BEEN GROWIN' WITH TENDER LOVIN' CARE.
So that, my friends, is why I almost didn't get to blog today. I was out there starin' at those gigantic tomato plants and totally lost track of the time. I was out there for goodness knows how long, plannin' and strategizing, figurin' out what I should do if I should happen to spot giant clodhopper feet usin' those tomato vines to climb down into MY garden. And wonderin' if I should perhaps take a preventative axe to Peepers' plants right now, 'cause one can never be TOO CAREFUL when it comes to giants and things.
And I also had a bit of a nap.
Twenty-four plus hours of nippin' will do that, you see.
Remember to mask up, too.