Hey Peepers! What's that white stuff all over your t-shirt? Is it snowin' outside?
Nah, that can't be right. We've been in the midst of a heat wave for the past week or more and you can't have snow in a heatwave.
I suppose someone could be MAKIN' snow out there. They do that kinda thing when there isn't enough snow for skiin' and whatnot. But SURELY no one is makin' snow when it's this hot, in the middle of summer. My gosh, that snow would melt...
Nope, the white stuff all over Peepers' shirt isn't meltin' yet, so it definitely can't be snow.
I know! All that white stuff must be dandruff.
Hey Peepers! You've got dandruff flakes all over your top. You'd best do somethin' about that 'cause it's not nice for me to have to look at things like that.
Peepers, you do know that I, Seville the Cat, have never ever once had a case of dandruff in all my nine lives, right? You should shampoo your hair like I do mine. Well my fur, actually, rather than hair. And by shampoo, I mean spit. Yup, spit and polish is what gives me this luxurious coat of marmalade furs, and...
What's that? What's that, Peepers? What's that you're babblin' on about now?
Oh it is, is it? And it's not dandruff, you say. You SAY you accidentally left a tissue in the pocket of your jeans and the washer mysteriously yanked said tissue outta the pocket; tore it into teeny-tiny itty-witty bits; and pasted those bits all over all the other clothes in the washer.
Or somethin' like that.
Well might I suggest AGAIN - 'cause you apparently didn't listen to me the first time - that you start usin' spit and polish AS I DO, when not only washin' your hair, but when washin' your clothes, too. I mean, I, Seville the Cat, have never ever had a case of teeny-tiny itty-witty bits of tissue pasted all over my luxurious coat of marmalade furs, and you know why?
Well I'll tell you why, ol' Peep of mine. I, Seville the Cat, have never ever had a case of teeny-tiny itty-witty bits of tissue pasted all over my luxurious coat of marmalade furs on account of my not leavin' tissues in my pants pocket when doin' laundry; on account of my not havin' pockets - or pants, for that matter, either; on account of my havin' this luxurious coat of marmalade furs, and...
And on account of my usin' spit and polish when launderin' my aforementioned luxurious coat of marmalade furs.
You really should try it, sometime, Peepers. You really, really should.
The spit and polish bit, I mean.
Remember to mask up, too.