Oh my mouses, that's funny.
What am I sayin'? That's not funny. It's ABSOLUTELY HILARIOUS, for sure.
So anyway, I was browsin' over on Amazon this mornin' - usin' the peep's account, of course - lookin' for purveyors of cat toys, cat beds, vine, and the like, when...
When all of a sudden, Amazon came up with a bunch of suggested items for me to buy.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin' they were tryin' to sell me some nip; AND you're askin' yourself, why would they be tryin' to sell a gentlecat nip farmer such as Seville, catnip? I mean, I, Seville the Cat, am perfectly capable of growin' my own stuff, right? Right.
No, I can grow my own catnip now. I figured out the problem I was havin' in the early years. My problem in the early years was Peepers. But now that I don't allow Peepers anywhere near my crops unless I specifically tell her to do somethin' like water 'em in a drought, my nip plants are doin' just fine. Apparently Peepers has a black thumb when it comes to the growin' of the nip and can only be allowed near my plants under super strict supervision.
So what was wrong with what you were thinkin', you ask?
Well you see, Amazon wasn't tryin' to sell me catnip. In fact, they weren't tryin' to sell me anythin' cat-related, at all. Not catnip, cat toys, cat beds, or even the vine. They were tryin' to sell me...
They were tryin' to sell me...
Are you sittin' down?
THEY WERE TRYIN' TO SELL ME...
Oh my mouses, this is funny.
They were tryin' to sell me hair restoration products and wrinkle-reducin' creams.
Obviously, they thought I was the peep. I mean, what cat needs a hair restoration product or a cream to get rid of wrinkles, or...
Okay, so there are those hairless cats out there who do, in fact, look pretty wrinkly, but any wrinkles I may or may not have are well hidden by my full body of marmalade furs.
But here's the thing.
The really, really, REALLY FUNNY part, I mean.
CLEARLY, AMAZON THINKS PEEPERS IS BALD AS BALD CAN BE AND ALL WRINKLED ALL UP LIKE A SUN-DRIED TOMATO.
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', their thinkin' that might have somethin' to do with that picture of a dried up apricot I posted, claimin' it was a picture of the peep.
The one she took down within seconds of my postin' it.
I had no idea the woman could move so fast.
HILARIOUS, for sure.
And now I must go order Peepers up a whole crate of the stuff they were tryin' to sell 'cause even if she doesn't exactly look like a dried up ol' apricot, she could still do with a few improvements, for sure.
Remember to mask up, too.