Are you happy now, Peepers? Are you happy?
Well are you?
I know, I know... I know what you're thinkin'. You're thinkin', Peepers has gone and done somethin' stupid. AGAIN. And you know what?
You would be right.
So here's the thing. Peepers has been beggin' and pleadin' and implorin' for rain. The grass is dry, she says. The tomatoes are stunted. I'm tired of watering every day. We need rain! This is what I've been hearin' day in and day out. Stuff like this has been assaultin' my ears.
Oh, and along with all the beggin' and pleadin' there have been accusations made every time the weatherpeeps SAY we're gonna get rain when we don't. Or when it does rain but it's not much more than Mother Nature's spit.
And I'm gonna be honest here, my friends. I'm gonna be as honest as I've ever been in all my nine lives.
I'M SICK AND TIRED OF HEARING ABOUT THE LACK OF RAIN.
As long as Peepers waters my nip plants when I tell her to, everythin' is hunky dory with me.
Well we finally had some rain the other week. Peepers even got caught in it which was pretty funny from my perspective, for sure. I mean, it's not like I was the one who got caught in the rain. It's not like I was the one who ended up drippin' from head to toe. That, my friends, would not have been funny at all. But seein' the peep lookin' like she needed to be wrung out like a soppin' wet sponge was just about as funny as funny can get. Know what I mean?
But unfortunately, for me, the rain we got wasn't enough. Nope, not even after we wrung out Peepers' stupid ol' hair.
Why was this unfortunate for me, you ask?
Well 'cause I'M THE ONE who had to listen to all her complaints.
But last night took the cake, for sure. Apparently all that beggin', pleadin', implorin', and stuff did not go unheard. Sometime 'round suppertime last night, it started to rain. Just a little at first. But it kept comin', you see, and started accumulatin', which, I suppose, was not a bad thing, but then...
But then the skies let loose and it started to pour.
Now I'm not talking 'bout the normal kind of heavy rain here, my friends. No sirree. Nope, I'm talkin' about bucket after bucket after bucket of rain fallin' from the skies, nonstop, almost right through the night!
It was like all the rain in the world fell last night and it all happened to fall right on top of my house, and...
And on my nip plants out in the yard.
That darned rain practically pounded my plants right to the ground!
This is not good, my friends. It's not good at all! I'm not sure what can be salvaged when it dries out but it's not gonna be a lot, and...
AND IT'S ALL THAT DARNED PEEP'S FAULT.
If she hadn't been beggin' and pleadin' and implorin' over and over and over again with Mother Nature for rain, my nip plants would be doin' just fine. They were bloomin' and everythin' AND EVERY CAT KNOWS that the bloomin' nip buds are the best a nipmeister like me can possibly get.
But now they're all just one big ol' soggy ol' crushed-up mess.
So listen here, Peepers. Listen here good. IF MY CROP CAN'T BE SALVAGED, YOU'LL NEVER EVER EVER HEAR THE END OF IT. You hear? And in the meantime, do somethin' useful and try seein' if a blow dryer will help.
know? You don't, do you, 'cause you've never bothered to try. Well I need you to get off your lazy tail, Peepers, and go try right now. And don't come back inside until you've made a valid attempt.
Jeesh! Some peeps, huh? They go and make a downright horrible mess of a cat's nip crop and then don't wanna bother cleanin' it up.
Remember to mask up, too.