Wednesday 22 June 2022

never have I ever

Never have I ever...

Never have I ever...

Never have I ever scratched the peep.

I don't think.

But to tell you the truth...

It's kinda hard to remember.


Saffy, of course, can't the say the same, on account of Saffy Saffron Sassafras attackin' Peepers' legs on a daily basis.  You know, just for fun.  He says it's 'cause he loves her, but Peepers and I aren't buyin' that at all.  Peepers says it hurts and I'm inclined to believe her.


But back to me and what I've done.  IF I HAVE, by chance, scratched the peep, it wouldn't have been my fault.  Nope, no sirree.  The blame would have been all the peep's.

Of course.


Now let's see...

Never have I ever...

Never have I ever...

Never have I ever pooped on the floor.

Now that I CAN say I've never done, for sure.

'Cept for an occasional wrong-side-of-the-box accident kinda thing.

And if THAT happened, it, too, wasn't my fault.

Not my fault litter boxes don't come in appropriate sizes.


So never have I ever...

Never have I ever...

Never have I ever eaten a tomato.

Hear that, Peepers?  Hear that?  Never have I, Seville the Cat, ever eaten a tomato WHICH IS WHY...

Which is why I really don't give a mouse's tail 'bout the fact that due to unforeseen circumstances - that have absolutely nothin' to do with me - you don't have your tomato plants in the ground yet, and are worried you might not get 'em in at all.  They can shrivel up and die in their little pots, for all I care.  Whether you grow tomatoes this year is not of any interest to me.  And do you know why?  DO you?  DO YOU?

Well I'll tell you why, I will.  I don't care 'bout those stupid tomato plants, or the tomatoes they're supposed to produce, on account of their bein' stupid.  On account of their bein' tomatoes, you see.  And on account of the fact that I, Seville the Cat, have never, ever, EVER eaten a tomato in all my nine lives and I'm not plannin' on eatin' any stupid ol' tomatoes in the future, either, so...

So I suggest you get out there and do somethin' useful like waterin' my nip plants that I asked you to water on account of CATNIP bein' a crop of great importance to me.

Unlike tomatoes.

What?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?



Why, never have I ever heard such language comin' from a peep.

At least not while bein' directed at me.



And remember:



Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures



Remember to mask up, too.


  1. Saffy must think the Peepers skin is tasty or something, Seville!

  2. Glad you have never harmed your peeps. I hope she waters those nip plants. XO

  3. Never ever seems to be catching on Seville!

  4. Magic Max & the Misfits23 June 2022 at 14:15

    The saying at our house is that the pooping is done in the air and it lands on the floor, so no pooping is done on the floor here! :)

  5. dood…uz either less ya call eatin a toe may toe… pizza
    pie ….wear itz been squizhed squazhed N cooked three
    hundres timez ❤️🙀


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