Sunday 26 June 2022

good grief


Good grief, woman.  What the mouses died in that there bucket of yours?


MOUSES!


What's that?  What's that, Peepers?  What's that you're babblin' on about now?


Does too.


Does too!


MOUSES!


I'm tellin' ya, Peepers, I walked past that bucket just now, and had to hold my breath.  I had to hold my breath on account of the stink.  And in case you hadn't noticed, I'm a cat.  And what's more, us cats are kinda inclined to LIKE stinky things.  But that there bucket?  That there bucket of yours?


Well all I can say is MOUSES!


Okay, so there are a whole lotta other things I might say 'bout the stink emanatin' from that stinky ol' bucket of yours, but for now, all I'm gonna say is MOUSES.


You know, on account of it bein' hard to say too much whilst holdin' my breath.  Holdin' my breath, due to the stink.  The stinkiest stink of all stinks.


MOUSES!


So uh...  So what did happen to die in that there bucket of yours?  You been practisin' for one of those cookin' contest shows again?


My gosh I crack myself up.  I am one super funny cat, for sure.


MOUSES!


Plant food, huh?  It's plant fertiliser, you say?


Hmmm...


Fertiliser as in cow poopies or somethin' like that?  'Cause truth be told, cow poopies do stink, but I've never smelled 'em stink as badly as that stinks.


What?


WHAT?


You say you put a bunch of nettles in a bucket of water and let 'em ferment or rot down or somethin', and now it's food for your plants?  Huh.


My gosh, a cat pulls a stunt like that, like leavin' a dead mouse under the deck in the middle of a summer heatwave, and said cat never hears the end of it, for sure.


Those the nettles that kept stingin' you before?  So now instead of stingin' nettles, they're more like stinkin' nettles, huh?


*smirks*


I really am one very funny cat.


No Peepers, not funny as in weird.  Funny as in: I really should have my own show on late night TV.


But do you know what, Peepers?  The fact that no network has yet offered me a late night TV show...  Well that IS weird, to be sure.


MOUSES!


But Peepers...


Peepers...


Peepers, YOU EVER THINK ABOUT ASKIN' YOUR PLANTS IF THEY WANNA BE FED SOMETHIN' THAT STINKS AS BADLY AS THAT SUPPOSED PLANT FOOD STINKS?  Huh?  HUH?  'Cause let me tell you somethin' ol' peep of mine, NOTHIN' EVER ON THE FACE OF THIS EARTH, ever wanted to be fed anythin' that reeks like that there bucket of yours, reeks.  NOTHIN'!


And don't you dare go givin' any of that supposed stinkin' stingin' nettle plant food to my nip plants.  I like my catnip to smell like nip, and not stink, if you know what I mean.


MOUSES!


***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

8 comments:

  1. My goodness, a bucket of stink doesn't sound like a good time at all!

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  2. Glad to see you back on schedule Savvy !

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  3. Holy cats, Seville, you're a real catmedian! Hahaha!

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  4. Stinkin' nettles ... MOL, that IS funny, Sivvers. And not just because as soon as you mentioned nettles, that's exactly where OUR minds went. :)

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  5. Hmm, nettles. We have a few of those. But now you tell me they stink so bad I suspect I won't be trying any of the batch of nettle soup Mrs H is conjuring up at this very moment!
    Purrs
    ERin

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  6. I agree with you. I did that once and it smelled worse than the badger that crawled in our hedge in the top field to die. Well maybe not worse but equally as bad.

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  7. Stinging nettles are actually good for a lot of things...but I have not heard of them being used for fertilizer, LOL!
    They stink?? Well, I never!!

    Have a good week, both of you kitties and your fertilizer bucket carrier!!

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I love hearin' from my pals. I really, REALLY do. PURRS.