Sunday 23 January 2022

ninety-seven weeks


Now let's see...


Hmmm...


Seven times seven...


Carry the four.


Times zero is zero...


Of course.


Add five to that, and...


Hmmm...


Now I multiply everythin' by nine, and I have...


Got it!  *snaps claws*  That's five hundred and twenty-seven million, nine hundred and ninety thousand, four hundred cat seconds, to be exact.


Give or take a few minutes.


MOUSES!


So there you have it, my friends, I have now been cooped up with two good-for-nothin' peeps for five hundred and twenty-seven million, nine hundred and ninety thousand, four hundred cat seconds, give or take a minute or two.


Like I said before, MOUSES!


And do you know what I've learned in all this time, my friends?  What I've learned durin' these millions and millions of seconds?  I've learned...


I've learned...


I've learned that when I call my peeps good-for-nothin', I am puttin' it mildly, for sure.


MOUSES!


Why just the other day...


Just the other day, Peepers was busy doin' things with pots and dirt and worm poop and stuff, so OF COURSE I thought to myself, Peepers is plantin' more catnip for me!  And it was about time, too, 'cause let me tell you somethin', my friends.  It's cold and snowy outside.  It's full on winter, in fact.  And durin' a Canadian winter, a kitty needs some greenery and things to keep a kitty going 'til spring.


But was she, my friends?  Was she actually plantin' me catnip?


NoNo she was not.  She was plantin' goodness knows what but it was not catnip, for sure.  Lettuce, I think.  Bleh.


"I DON'T EAT NO STUPID LETTUCE!" I cried.


And in case you were wonderin', I don't eat SMART lettuce either, on account of there bein' no such thing as smart lettuce, you see.  Plus, I'm a cat, and generally speakin', we cats don't like any kinda lettuce at all.


When it comes to veggies, grass and nip are where it's at.  Well grass, mainly.  I don't consider catnip a veggie.  It's more of a...


Hmmm...


A NECESSITY OF LIFE, for sure.


Hey Peepers!  Be a good peep there, would ya, and start busyin' yourself with the plantin' of nip.


MOUSES!



***********************

And remember:

IF IN DOUBT,

DON'T. GO. OUT.

Continue to practice SOCIAL DISTANCIN' measures

AND KEEP WASHIN' YOUR PAWS.

MOUSES!

Remember to mask up, too.

11 comments:

  1. Dang, it's almost to the century mark Seville!

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  2. I have to say Seville that that lettuce stuff leaves me wonderin’ “ why bother”!

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  3. Seville, you've got to have fresh nip!

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  4. Sure hope some nip got planted too!
    Tell your peep(s) to try nip tea...its good for them too! LOL! Minko used to steal petcretary's nip tea bags if he had a chance...

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  5. Sivvers, our angel Moosey actually loved lettuce. But if it helps make your case, he also happened to love catnip. He would definitely have agreed that your peep needs to be planting some nip!

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  6. I don't know, Seville, it may be a little early to plant catnip. There is still a lot of winter in your area and you don't want it to perish before it starts going, do you?

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  7. Lettuce might be healthy, who knows…..

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  8. I'm wif yoo, Sevvy. I'm not eatin no limpy non-tasty lettuce. My momma never plants anything, not even catnip. She says she has a yellow thumb for planting stuff so she gave up years ago. So sad.

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  9. My oh my. You'd have thought that the peep would have given over the bath tub to do hydroponic nip planting and growing for you. I mean, she can bathe elsewhere, surely? Tin bath in front of the log fire would be an option....
    Purrs
    ERin

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  10. Just imagine how the Peeps would feel if they were deprived of their coffee! Would they take that lying down?
    You bet your sweet whiskers they wouldn't!
    Sivvers, this calls for desperate action!

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  11. I hope she plants you some nip soon or you will have to pull the lettuce plants out.

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